Apparently I am turning this story into a comedy. I should really know better.

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It was unavoidable. The Oaf had to die. Hiei had endured many things in the course of his life. He had once spent two torturous weeks with a partner who licked his own feet. He had spent years as the personal punching bag of the gang of thieves that he grew up among. HE HAD SPENT THREE DAYS TRAPPED WITH A YOUKO WHO HAD LOST ITS HAIRBRUSH! Nothing complained like a fox with messy hair.

This was by far worse. Oh sure he was going to miss the relative freedom of not being a wanted fugitive, and having to run from Yuusuke of all people was going to be a bitch. But he had reached the end of his tolerance.

It had started innocently enough; Urameshi had asked them all to meet him after school, most likely in deference to Kurama as the fox was the only one who bothered to attend class. They all met at Kurama's house and were listening to Botan prattle on about… something. The whole meeting was a waste of time since no one ever listened to Botan anyway. As usual the fool raided Kurama's fridge. Kuwabara happily loaded a huge plate, and in a disturbing break from tradition set the plate in front of him. The Buffoon plastered a stupid grin on his face and said: "Come on Hiei, eat your vegetables"

Disturbing though that incident was it had shut Botan up so Hiei couldn't consider it all bad.

That one incident was bad enough, but things went downhill after that. The oaf became obsessed with his eating habits. Not only did Kuwabara nag Hiei about eating every time Koenma called them together, he actually started hunting Hiei down in his spare time to try and nag him into eating loathsome human concoctions. Hiei was fast, but eventually even he had to sleep. If he woke up to the buffoons ugly stupid grin one more time we would be forced to gouge out his own eyes.

Hiei could have tolerated this, oh sure he was planning to break Kuwabara's arms, legs and jaw the first chance he got, but that would have settled the matter. Sadly the Oaf then decided to enlist help in his stalking campaign. Indulging two Very Unhealthy obsessions in a single act the oaf convinced Yukina to join in. YUKINA! Hiei was going to kill him, and it was going to be good…