Disclaimer: I don't own the song, or Harry Potter, I just use them for writing purposes. Don't sue me, I don't own it!
A/N: I love Anna and the King, and this was on the soundtrack, and it occurred to me how perfect it would be for an angsty fic between our fave couple. I think i changed the words slightly, but I don't know. Let me know in your reviews, please? Hope you enjoy!
A MMADness Song Ficlet
Joy Enriquez's
How Can I Not Love You
Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other
Minerva lay in her four poster bed, thinking. Thinking of what she knew to be impossible but she was unable to forget it. She still dreamt of it, of him, of how things could be, and often from those dreams she never wanted to wake. She didn't know how she had managed it, but she had somehow lost her heart to the one man she could never have.
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
He earned her respect, then he earned her love. And she has willingly given it for too many years to count. But now, she has to be realistic. This phantom relationship she wants and needs so much from him will never, could never happen. But how can she possibly go back now she has fallen so deeply?
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
Minerva rolled over, pressing her face into her pillow to block out the room, his old rooms, that still had his decoration in, the same colours, the same styles. She hadn't changed it a bit, it was perfect the way it was. To her mind at least. His essence still lingered in these rooms, and if she changed it she considered it as getting rid of what remained of him.
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
She knew Albus was the most important person to the wizarding world and there was no way she could jeopardise his safety for just her. If they were to become involved, it would mean they made tempting targets and Voldemort would no doubt come after one or the other to try and find the other, and kill them.
Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on, Must not say
What we've known all along
Albus paced furiously around his study, his fast pace reflecting the turmoil in his mind. Minerva frequently occupied his thoughts when he spent the night thinking, and that was how he spent most of his nights nowadays. Not that he could ever tell her how often her voice sounded in his thoughts, or how often her face surfaced in his dreams.
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
He shook his head and sighed wearily. He was almost nervous about going to sleep these days because he was sure that one night, he would wake up and think "Stuff this" and go to her, to love her, and let her know how much a part of him she was. She was the most amazing witch, save that, witch he had ever had the fortune to lay eyes on.
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Albus flopped down on his chair and covered his face with his hands. Memories were flashing inside of his mind, in front of his minds eye. Visions of him and Minerva at the Yule Ball, at her Graduation, at her Appointment Party, dancing the night away, content in each others arms and unwilling to part until they really had to.
How can I not love you
Albus had never dreamt her making herself invaluable to him would be such a double-edged sword. He should not love her, but he cannot love without her. She was a part of him, like an arm, his right arm to be precise. He loves her more than life itself, which is why he can never be with her.
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we've known all along
Minerva closed her eyes and buried her face in her pillow to try and hide the fact her cheeks were moist with tears many nights shed. She could never tell him.
Albus' eyes were clouded with doubt and he took his glasses from his nose to allow the small line of tears from his eyes to run smoothly down his cheek. He could never tell her.
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
In their minds, there was no light. The thought of never being together crushed them both and they hungered and pined for the others company just then, for comfort's sake as well as their own.
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Minerva took a deep breath and lifted her face from her pillow, looking towards her window.
Albus opened his eyes and turned his face to his large window.
How can I not love you
When you are gone
The sun was beginning to rise and they both knew at that moment that they didn't need to tell the other. They knew, even though they must try and leave each others hearts. Albus stood and walked to his window. She did the same. As they gazed out at the sunrise, they both found the strength to fight another day.
"I love you Albus." She whispered, looking at the photograph on her bedside table.
"I love you too Minerva." He whispered back to the same photo on his desk. The sun's first rays crept onto their faces and they smiled through their tears. To love was enough.
A/N Take Two: Hope you liked it, it was a lot more angsty than I intended but anyhoo, please review, it's only polite, and let me know, it's my first posted song fic ok? Please? Passes out sherbert lemons Now, please?