Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto….

Chapter 11

It's so hard to say " I love you, " and not draw back in tears

It's so hard to know that you're not there to help me face my fears

It's so hard to know that you are at my reach, but you can not hear my voice

It's so hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide

It's so hard to live without you, when I need you more then words

I want to scream how much I love you but hold back and not be heard

It's so hard to go to sleep at night when I can not dream of you

It's so hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new

It's so hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song

It's so hard to sit and wonder, where did I go wrong?

It's so hard to live without you if I only would have known I will never love another,

I would rather be alone.

Previously:

A kunai was heading straight at her and she knew very well that she couldn't evade it in time. She stood there and waited for the pain, but it never came…instead…CRACK!

Her mask broke into two and the two other ninjas stared at her with wide eyes, while the other one on the side was obviously glaring at her…

"SAKURA-CHAN?!?!"

Naruto and Hinata were speechless. The one that they were suppose to retrieve and bring back to Konoha was the same person they were so determined to kill just a moment ago. Sasuke just smirked upon seeing the look on the two faces of his two fellow shinobis.

Sasuke knew all along! He must have seen my hair!! Damn!! Sakura thought

A rush of panic struck her inside, not knowing what to do in this unexpected turn of events. Sasuke just had to ruin it all!

"Naruto…Hinata…and…Sas – " she was trying her best trying to spea and put all the words she wanted to say together.

"You! YOU TRAITOR!!"

She stared at him, eyes widening at his expression. All she could see was the anger in his eyes. It was frightening, almost the same eyes when she first saw him with Orochimaru…the only difference was that this anger he felt now, was not for his brother…but directly at me…He really hates me…because of Itachi…

When she was about to speak, Sasuke rushed at her and Sakura could only evade. He threw several kunais that successfully injured her. He's going too fast!! The last one he threw was supposed to fully immobilize her, and she could do nothing more than wait for the upcoming blow, but Naruto stopped it just in time, Hinata by his side, ready to attack Sasuke if necessary.

"Oi! Teme! What're you doing?!?! Our mission was to retrieve her! Not kill her you bastard!" Naruto was angered by what his teammate had done.

"Can't you see?!?! She's a traitor! She has betrayed Konoha! She is with Akatsuki!! AND SHE JUST SAVED MY BROTHER A WHILE AGO!!!!"

"Well, let her explain! Damn it!" Naruto shot back

"No! I'd rather – " he was cut off by Sakura who was now nearly in tears.

"You guys, let me explain. You can kill me if you want after this, but please, just…just let me explain!" She was obviously desperate now, especially from her tone of voice.

Then very slowly, she told them everything, leaving out the parts when Itachi kissed her, and her being a part of Akatsuki. Sasuke would be enraged if he knew about that.

Sasuke was angry. Se had just told them that she was happy? HAPPY! With Akatsuki! With his brother! Damn them!

"Sasuke" she spoke up "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry…I…I…was supposed to find you, and return with you to Konoha, so we could live a happy life…and have children in the future…and maybe live happily ever after. But now I realized that it was a dream, an unreachable dream that up until now was still possible."

She paused for a while and finally allowed those tears to fall. Sakura-chan is really hurt…

"When I left Konoha, all I could think about was to find you. But then I got captured, believe it or not, I was angry at myself at first because the idea of going back slipped my mind, that I grew fond of that place and that I made friends and slowly but surely fell in love with my captor. Yes, he may be cruel and merciless, and he may not return these feelings, but I know that I'll be happy just staying by his side and being there to help him when he needs it."

"I thought all the while that what I felt for you was true love. But since that time you fought with each other in the Hidden Village of Sound, I slowly realized how shallow that love is compared to the one I feel for Itachi. At that time, I couldn't even move, too many questions were running through my mind. When I arrived back that night, I knew I was at the wrong place, with the wrong people. But…but you know what? It felt right.I didn't even know how it became so deep, all I know is that I'm happy…right here…with Akatsuki…With you brother…With Itachi…"

"I knew in myself once that there is nothing worse than to betray your own village for your own personal reasons, because that's exactly what Orochimaru did. He betrayed Konoha. I thought these people to be selfish…and cruel…but now…-sob-…I'm exactly like them! At first, I wasn't exactly given the choice, so I had to stay here. But at that time you fought with Itachi, when I brought you back to Konoha, I knew very well that I had the chance to go back to my village! But I didn't, I bade you goodbye at that time Sasuke, because I knew at that time that all we could either be is friends or enemies…But all of you, do remember this, Sasuke, you will always have a special place in my heart, with Naruto and Kakashi-sensei, our Team Seven…"

Tears were falling uncontrollably now, and she couldn't do anything to stop them. This would probably my goodbye to you guys…

"My friends there too, I want them to be happy. They have been really good to me. Even Ino, that pig, she was and until now my best friend. Tsunade-sama, and all our senseis. They will always be here in my heart."

She tried her best to smile, but terribly failed. Sakura was sobbing now, she couldn't help it.

I wasn't supposed to cry!!

A pregnant silence ensued and lasted for a couple of minutes.

"Sakura-chan…why are you saying this? You're saying go…goodbye?" Naruto spoke up…and slowly approached her.

"Naruto…I hope you become Hokage one day, and be happy with some one you love." And by that she meant Hinata. She looked at her and gave her a smile, which made Hinata blush.

Hinata knew exactly what Sakura meant. Don't worry Sakura-chan, I'll take care of Naruto-kun…I understand how you feel.

During the silence, Sasuke was made to think about what the pink-haired kunoichi had said…All the anger that he felt a while ago slowly dissipated while she was saying those words…His facial features softened a little, somehow hinting that he was not in hot rage anymore.

Did I really hurt her that much? Unknowingly? But she knew I was an avenger…I already told her that years ago…I thought it was just a crush…Yeah!! A crush that made her take the risk of being a missing nin just to find to and bring you back! Someone in his mind reasoned out.

He then heard Naruto asking if she was saying goodbye. Is she really? Did she really find happiness here that she never found in Konoha? Is she really happy? With Akatsuki? With Itachi? Then the Uchiha shinobi heard her answer, and was now sure that her former pink-haired teammate was bading them goodbye.

Sakura was telling Naruto to persevere in his dreams of becoming a Hokage. Then she looked at the Hyuuga girl, giving a knowing smile. So she knows about them…Hn…

She looked at Sasuke and slowly approached him, somehow sensing that he has calmed down while ignoring the waves of pain that hit her whenever she moved. She wanted to tell him so many things, to tell him that she was stronger now, how she trained under Tsunade to become a kunoichi, how sad she was whenever she thought about him not coming back, hoe she missed the old Sasuke so much…so many things all put into two words.

Sasuke turned his back on the kunoichi, not being able to bear the expression on her face. She truly is saying goodbye….he thought sadly.

"Thank You." he heard her say…

His eyes widened upon hearing those two words. Those were exactly the words he uttered that night he left Konoha. Words he said to her. All he wanted to do at the moment was run away from her. Not knowing what to say. She only hugged him from the back, exactly the same way she did that night when she begged him not to go.

He knew she was crying, he wanted to say sorry, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Her hands were trembling, and he could feel she was shaking. He wanted to comfort her, not in a romantic way, but as a friend. He never was a good friend to her, ever since they became teammates. Saying she was annoying, and all, yet she was still there. He felt…he felt…guilty…

I…I guess I should let her go then…he thought to himself. He slowly turned around and came face to face with Sakura. She looked terrible. Her other knee was injured, and most of her clothing was stained with blots of red, obviously from the wounds that he inflicted. He smiled at her and slowly gave her a kiss on the forehead. Sakura was very thankful. She knew that Sasuke absolutely hated his brother, but she saw in his eyes that he wanted her to be happy.

The Uchiha then left quickly, not wanting to say anything more. Be happy Sakura…were his last thoughts before he left, leaving Naruto and Hinata behind.

"Sakura-chan…I guess we should be leaving then…" Naruto said looking sad and holding Hinata's hand.

The both of them slowly walked away from her, also wishing her to be happy.

"Naruto…I…I'm sorry…I…just…I…" she tried to tell him that she was really sorry, but the words won't come out…

Naruto quickly rushed to her and grabbed her for a bone-crushing hug…"I understand Sakura-chan…but then…I'll miss you…everyone will…"

It was taking everything she had not to cry again on Naruto's shoulder…

"It'll be minus one person who always treats me to Ichiraku Ramen!" he whined and gave her that famous grin of his…

"Well, that seems to have lightened the mood!" she chuckled a little while tears were flowing from her eyes…

"Sakura-chan...you're crying…and laughing….at the same time!" he looked amazed

"Of course I am you baka! I'd miss all of you! Especially you!"

"Me too…Sakura-chan…Be happy here…"

After that little farewell, Sakura told Naruto to take care of Hinata…"You make a good pair…don't let her go…she likes you very much…"

Hinata blushed at this statement…"I..I…I'll m..miss…y.ou…too...Sa..Sakura-chan…"

"Thank You Hinata…I wish you and Naruto the best of luck!" She tried to cheer herself up…and was somehow successful.

"Ne, Sakura-chan! I guess we better leave now! That teme left without us!! Always leaving us behind! Who made him boss?!?!" He exclaimed…

I guess some things never change huh? Inner Sakura said…

Yeah…some things never do…

Sakura nodded…Goodbye…Naruto…Sasuke-kun…Hinata…Konoha…all she could do was cry, cry until she felt better to go back to Akatsuki and face them with a smile…

"Sakura-san…" She knew that voice…he had cried to him once, and was also thankful for the friendship that he provided…

"Deidara-kun...how long were you there?"

"Long enough…yeah"

"I see…" And she quickly ran to him…

"Deidara-kun, can I borrow your shoulder?"

He just smiled…"It's all yours! Yeah!" he tried to be cheerful…

"I…I'm so..sorry…for…m..making..your…cloak..wet..b..but…I…obviously…c..can't…cry…on m..my…own shoulder…" she said in between sobs…

"It had to be done Sakura-san…It's hard…but you're free now…yeah"

"I…I…guess…I..j..just feel…r..really bad..right…now…"

A couple of minutes later, Sakura finally calmed down...

"Arigatou, Deidara-kun!" giving him that freaky smile again which was obviously fake…

"Sakura-san…it's okay to be sad…just…don't smile…like that again…its…kind of freaky! Yeah!" he said…

"And besides…you look like a mess! Yeah! Your eyes are puffy from crying! You nose is slightly red…and your clothing looks terrible! Yeah! You can't be happy like that! No girl would be!"

This time, Sakura gave a laugh in response…a true one…

"I like that laugh better…yeah… C'mon…let's go back…Itachi is probably worried about you…yeah"

And together…they did go back…to Akatsuki…to her new companions…to her happineess…to Itachi…to my new life…