THE DOOR INTO DREAMING

I might be a sensible little girl, as Danny always says, but I'm a little girl nonetheless---eighteen now and waiting as twenty-one draws ever nearer; twenty-one until I sleep and wake to the day when I'll hold a scarred old tomcat in my arms and smile up from a bed years later, still twenty-one, and see Danny's face again. I'm lonely and that thought of his smile keeps me strong. It might be silly, little-girlish of me, but I just want to feel him here with me once more. His ring only fits around my thumb---but its weight reminds me of him, the gleam of the stone sitting under my joint calls up pictures of him; the only pictures of him I have. It is all of him I have at all---and an envelope I passed off to Grandma to sit in the bank and make me money enough to sleep and wake up with him.

I miss Pete, too; highly articulate---for a cat, anyhow---and although my grandmother doesn't mind cats we haven't owned one. No one's like Pete.

It's been hard to be alone---how does a knobby little Girl Scout keep telling her friends all through elementary school, all through high school, that's she engaged to be married to a man sleeping as the years turn and turn and turn by? I'm waiting to be with you, Danny.

I'm gonna marry Danny; I'm in love with his engineer heart, the hands that make art from everything common---good, useful art that works hard and makes people's lives better---oh, the honesty and the energy of living thrumming strong; he's a true American man, golden heart, independent---and brave---and adaptable---and God's good work. A true American man with that unending drive to invent, create, explore without fear.

What could be in 2001? What could be waiting there for us? I'm glad I'm not going alone.

All these things we'll see together, with Pete, too, of course. I can only imagine it. A world that runs under the work of Danny's click-click-clicking machines, so long away from this time, this place, under a great new sky. Maybe it'll be a cleaner world and a brighter sun. The days will be better; he'll be there. I miss Danny.

Nothing will go wrong, but just in case---it's good to be prepared---I will only wake up from the Long Sleep if Danny does. I'll make sure. Then we'll be long gone and swept up into the glorious, wonderful future.

2001. That's such a long way away. Do you dream in the Long Sleep? I hope my dreams are peaceful.

I hope you're sleeping soundly, Danny---and you, too, Pete. Sweet dreams, tomcat. Sweet dreams, Danny. I'll see you soon. So long.

The End