Chapter One / A Drop In The Ocean

Pelting raindrops tilled the earth, resulting in a fresh grassy scent that permeated the cool night air. It was a refreshing scent for most, but for Kuchiki Rukia, it never failed to evoke memories of a grotesque Hollow and a battle of wills.

Tonight was a night like any other in the rainy season – damp, musky and muddy. It was a season that she had grown to abhor. Yet, she sat beneath the awning just shy of the pattering droplets, hugging her knees and gazing out into the darkness, lost in her own thoughts. 'How long has it been?' she wondered aloud, sighing deeply, attempting to purge the oppression within her chest.

In truth it had been a scant month since the incident that left her squad captain, Ukitake Juushirou, without his vice-captain. She shuddered at the memory of the thirteenth squad's third seat going on a Hollow-induced killing rampage, the blood and the gore and most of all, her furious husband, Vice-Captain Shiba Kaien's attempt and failure at vanquishing the Hollow that had possessed his wife and subsequently ate her. Rukia's ritual every night since then had remained constant. She would sit alone outside until the thoughts that consumed her rendered her sufficiently exhausted so that she could fall into a dreamless sleep the moment her head touched her pillow. Her dreams had been nightmares since the incident.

'Kuchiki, still out here?'

Rukia grunted at the sound of her captain's voice. 'Yes, Captain Ukitake. Still here.'

Ukitake smiled wryly. Stubborn Kuchiki, perpetually alone, always refusing his invitation to a cup of hot tea by a warm fire, even on nights like this. He had admired her resolve and steadfastness from the moment she became part of his squad, even her devotion to habits such as this gave him a sense of pride. Kaien had many good things to say about her, he recalled, even after their first encounter despite her initial faux pas. A nice girl, he had said with a huge grin, obedient though stubborn. His lieutenant was such a terrible tease when it came to the new Shinigamis. In fact, he had heard about the 'Captain Kaien' drivel he subjected the thirteenth squad to on a regular basis.

The captain sat gracefully, arranged the folds of his robe and dangled his feet off the patio. They enjoyed the silence for a few minutes. 'Hey, Kuchiki, I received a report about Kaien from Captain Unohana today. I thought you might want to know the details.'

Kaien had suffered terrible life-threatening wounds from the Hollow while battling it. It had assimilated into his body and had almost fused irrevocably with his organs when Rukia's Zanpaktou had stabbed a vital spot below Kaien's lung. He had lunged at her, fully intent on having her as his meal, but Kaien's will had prevailed. Rukia's memory of impaling Kaien with her Zanpaktou had never faded, the dead weight of his heavy body as he rasped out his thanks and the touch of his hand on her back in the rain were as clear as if it had happened just the day before.

They had rushed Kaien to the fourth division, with Ukitake barely making it in time using Flash Steps, Rukia trailing behind the best way she knew how, shivering in the rain. Any later and he would have been lost, Captain Unohana had said after attending to him for five hours in Emergency. She had managed to remove the remnants of the Hollow and stabilised his condition, but the rest was up to him. He had remained unconscious for two weeks after his return, then had awakened, frail and weak, without much motor control. His spinal cord had been severely injured and it would take him months to recover.

'She said he's made some progress in physiotherapy today,' Ukitake continued, smiling. 'He managed to grip a stress ball for more than thirty seconds. What a guy.'

'That's good to hear.'

'When will you see him, Kuchiki? He's been asking for you.'

She sighed. She had remained as far from the infirmary as possible both to avoid prying questions about that night and to prevent herself from walking unbidden to Kaien's bedside. What would she say to him if she saw him? Mutter platitudes about how it was good to see him alive when his wife, Miyako, had suffered a tragic death? 'I know,' she murmured simply. 'But what do I say, Captain Ukitake? That I'm glad he's alive when Miyako-dono is…'

A solitary tear slid down her cheek.

A warm arm circled her shoulders. 'There, there. C'mon now, Kuchiki, you're going to sob like a baby on me?' Ukitake squeezed the slight girl against his sturdy frame. Poor girl, always torturing herself, bearing her burdens alone. 'I don't think you have to say a thing even. He just wants to see you. Go first thing tomorrow morning. It's an order.'

Rukia whipped her head round and glared at her captain. 'Captain Ukitake! That's… that's…'

'An abuse of authority, I know. Pity I have to resort to this.' He smiled warmly and rose, placing a hand on her head. 'Alright, I'm going to retire for the night. You rest early too. Long day ahead of you tomorrow. Remember, we have a reconnaissance mission tomorrow.'

Rukia watched his figure disappear round the corner. Long day tomorrow indeed, she thought, once again returning her gaze to the darkness beyond.

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'Ku… Kuchiki…'

Rukia blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over as she sat on the plain wooden chair by his bedside, peeling an apple. It was difficult to see someone who had been so full of vitality reduced to a shadow of his former self. Curse Captain Ukitake and his orders. Orders she was not bound by, she admitted silently.

She glanced at him. 'Kaien… dono…' She paused, unable to continue. Perhaps it was easier to wait for him to say something, because she was completely at a loss in his presence.

He tugged weakly at her sleeve, his spinal injuries apparent in the movements from his neck down. 'Hey, Kuchiki… I'm finally glad you've come to see me after all this time. Where the hell have you been you little shit?'

'Uh?'

'You heard me. I've been so bloody bored doing physio all day, staring at the ceiling because my motor neurons won't function. No sake, no crustaceans, said Captain Unohana. Even Captain Kyouraku refused to sneak in a damn jug. The least you could do, Arrogant Miss, is come visit! If only to entertain me!' He paused for breath and glowered at Rukia. 'Close your trap, woman. It's totally unbecoming for a noble lady.'

Clearly, the nerve damage he had suffered had no effect whatsoever on his mouth. He ranted on about this and that, the treatment he was subjected to and the lack of amusement while he continued on his arduous journey of recovery. Rukia simply stared, her eyes wide and unblinking at her vice-captain. She had expected a feeble, downtrodden shinigami and not… that. But it was Shiba Kaien after all and he was not exactly known for gentility or decorum.

'Eh, Kuchiki,' he paused in the midst of his tirade, turning his head on the pillow to look at her, then sighed. 'Are you even listening to me?'

'Why? Why… are you still so… how can you still be the same?' Her tears threatened to overflow. She could barely hold them back and blinked as furiously as she could.

Kaien fixed his piercing gaze on her, his features hardening visibly. 'What good would it do if I wallowed in my current plight? Would it bring Miyako back? Would my health improve if my spirits remained low? You know far better than I the strength it takes to survive in Soul Society. For now, this is my way of picking up the pieces.'

His eyes strayed beyond the window. 'Life goes on, Kuchiki. Whether we want it to or not.'

'Yes, Kaien-dono.'

It had started to drizzle.