The Art of Justice
By Ms Spooky
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½…. except copies of the manga and anime. LOL!
Don't get mad… Get even
Ranma's New Motto
Prologue
Everybody agreed that the day Ranma Saotome finally snapped, it would be one for the calendars, something survivors would look back on years later and still recall with perfect clarity what they had been doing when the world rained blood and destruction upon their heads.
One of the most popular doomsday scenarios had all of his tormentors lying broken and bleeding amid piles of dust and rubble, the air rent with their pained groans and dying screams. Painted behind them would be a landscape of wanton devastation, with ruined buildings tilting precariously over a ground pockmarked with craters and burns.
The vultures circling overhead in anticipation of a good meal was a nice touch, but somehow, they doubted that would happen, seeing as wild vultures were hard to come by in urban Japan. But since Ranma was involved, anything was possible.
So bets were placed anyway on what was rapidly becoming known in Neriman-speak as 'The Day' with Nabiki Tendo, who gleefully rubbed her hands as the money came pouring in.
Expanding her betting ring from the usual outcomes of fights and romantic entanglements among the Nerima Wrecking Crew, into how, when and where Ranma lost it was one of the better ideas she had. And with the mounting pressure on the poor boy, it was becoming only too clear to everyone (but those closest to him), that Ranma was just a human powder keg ready to blow.
But – human nature being what it is - just because she, and many others, saw it coming, didn't mean they actually expected to see it happen. At least not anytime soon, anyway. The pigtailed martial artist's well known good nature and capacity to forgive lulled many of the same people who betted against him into a false sense of security that there was still a while to go before he reached his limit.
No one said Nerimians were rational people.
So when Nabiki and the rest of her family trooped into the living room to join the Saotomes that one fine Sunday afternoon, their initial failure to recognise that The Day had finally dawned on them was… understandable.
Of course, been struck dumb by the sight that greeted their eyes as soon as they walked in could go a long way in explaining why higher order brain functions (like thinking) was temporarily paralysed. Although some might argue that that was just status quo – seeing as 'not thinking' seemed to be the normal state for most of the Neriman troublemakers anyway.
Nabiki was the first to recover enough to speak. "What the heck is a polar bear doing in our living room!"
Gone were the days when she and her father would have run screaming from what would normally have been considered a dangerous animal. Then, she had run away from a vegetarian panda. Now, facing an obviously carnivorous bear, the thought of escape did not even cross her mind. Life with Ranma did that to a person, by changing one's perception of things (like what was hazardous to your health).
The only other occupant in the room who wasn't shell-shocked or struck speechless looked up. "Polar bear?" Ranma blinked in confusion, looking around. "Where?"
"There!" Nabiki jabbed a finger accusingly. "Right in front of you!"
Sure enough, there was a ghostly white bear sitting at the low table opposite from the pigtailed martial artist.
When Ranma realised what she was pointing at, he laughed. "Oh, that's not a polar bear," he chuckled. "That's Pop."
Nabiki and Akane blink-blinked.
Kasumi went, "Oh my!"
And Soun burst into tears. "Oh Saotome!" he wailed. "Not only have you lost your hair when you're human, your fur has gone white when you're a panda! Is there no end to your pain and suffering!" He wiped furiously at his eyes, then another thought struck him, causing his grief to go up another level. "Oh no! WE'RE OOOLLLLLDDDDDD!"
He was sadly ignored by his daughters.
Nabiki wasn't finished. "And what happened to Auntie Saotome?" She narrowed her eyes as she studied the sight before her. "In fact, what's wrong with both of them?"
"Yeah, Ranma," Akane chimed in, worriedly. "Are your parents OK?"
Yes, anyone would be forgiven for thinking something terrible had happened from looking at the tableau as portrayed by the Saotomes. Nodoka and Genma/panda/polar-bear-wannabe seemed frozen solid in the classic 'Scream' pose made famous by an artist named Edvard Munch - with hands on cheeks, bodies all wavy, while identical looks of open-mouthed horror adorned their faces.
They even managed to pull off the dark, distorted aura effect which added to the atmosphere of doom and gloom that saturated their part of the room.
It was truly a case of real life imitating art.
Which was why the Tendos found it especially jarring when they tried to take in the scene in the living room as a whole.
Because in stark contrast, Ranma's side of the room was bright and sunny, and the boy was his usual cheerful self.
The Tendos couldn't stop looking from one side of the room to the other.
Dark, doomed. Bright, happy. Dark, doomed. Bright, happy.
They almost gave themselves whiplash before they eventually stopped.
As one, they turned to the pigtailed young man who had yet to answer his fiancée. He smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Not that anyone noticed, what with been distracted by the senior Saotomes and all. "They're OK," he reassured them. "It's not like they're gonna die or anything."
At the word 'die', the frozen pair shivered, and if possible, Genma turned even whiter. It also caused something to escape the grip of his paw and flutter to the ground.
Nabiki was once again the first one to react. She picked up the object, noting idly that it was a crumpled piece of paper. She gingerly smoothed it out and began to read.
Then her eyes bugged out. "WHAAAAAATTTT?"
Her family instantly crowded around her.
"What is it, Nabiki?" Akane asked, peering over her shoulder while Kasumi leaned over the other.
There was a pregnant pause.
Then Kasumi gasped, her hand over her mouth. "OH… MY-!"
"-GOD!" Akane finished, eyes as large as dinner plates.
Soun furrowed a brow in confusion. As he was positioned in front of Nabiki, it meant he was trying to read the paper upside down so it was taking him a little longer to process the contents than his daughters.
When he finally worked it out, he blanched. With a shriek of alarm, he snatched it out of his daughter's grasp, and read it again.(1) And again, hoping his eyes had deceived him.
Nope, it didn't change what was written at all. No matter how many times he checked, it still read:
We swear that we will be good and honourable parents or we will commit seppuku.
Signed: Saotome Genma,
Saotome, Nodoka
So it came to pass that the day everyone feared arrived - not with a bang, but a whimper.
Two, actually.
Genma and Nodoka mercifully fainted at that point.
(1) Since most of the people present were otherwise occupied, only Ranma noted that Soun forgot to weep, and that Nabiki forgot to be angry at her father's rash act of taking something from her without payment or permission. Of course, once Nabiki came back to herself, she would no doubt make Soun pay…