Battle of the Sexes
By Sillabub 429
Chapter Twelve – All's Fair In Love And War
In aftermath of the battle, the thrill of victory seemed to have an intoxicating effect on the girls. Positively giddy, they lounged about in their cabin telling jokes and recapping their favorite moments of victory, and although they had barely gotten any sleep the night before, the women were surprisingly full of energy, even to the extent of being hyper at times.
After several hours of their dizzyingly happy chatter and laughter, there was a knock at the door and Catherine, who was closest to it, got up to answer. As she opened the door, she peered curiously at Wufei and Trowa, who were both holding the clothes the girls had put on them and the others. Both men looked thoroughly disgruntled.
"Oh, our clothes!" said Catherine brightly, taking the bundles from them. "I hope you enjoyed wearing them!"
Wufei sent her a withering look as Trowa lowered his head and let out a long-suffering sigh. "They've been hand-washed and steamed, as requested," he muttered miserably.
"Thanks, guys!" said Catherine cheerily, waving at them as they turned and stalked back to their cabin, not saying a word in response. "They were rude," she commented as she walked back to the group of girls and distributed the clothing back to their rightful owners.
"Who cares?" asked Hilde happily. "We won! They're just sore losers, especially Wufei."
"I'm just sad that they have the only copies of the pictures we took," sighed Sally as she folded her kimono. "What perfect blackmail that would be!"
Dorothy, who had been huddled in the corner busying herself with something the others couldn't see, laughed maliciously.
Hilde raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing over there, Dorothy?"
Dorothy froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "Nothing," she said.
"Are you sure?" said Relena, rising to look over the blonde's shoulder. Dorothy let out a squeal of protest as Relena snatched up the object Dorothy had been holding. "No way . . ." Relena breathed, staring at it, wide-eyed.
"Miss Relena, give it back!" said Dorothy, reaching for the object.
Sally grabbed it from Relena, eyes wide as she stared. "Dorothy, you didn't!"
Dorothy sulked as the girls looked around at the object in Sally's possession.
"Dorothy, you still have the negatives!" said Noin in shock.
Dorothy held her arms out in a motion to convey the obviousness of that statement. "What did you expect?" she asked bluntly. "It's me."
"We can't go back on our word," said Hilde, putting her hands on her hips. "Why would you keep the negatives?"
"Souvenirs?" offered Dorothy.
"You were going to sell them to a tabloid, weren't you?" said Catherine.
Dorothy glared at her for a moment but did not contradict the other girl.
"Absolutely not," said Relena. "We're done, the battle's over. If you did that we would never have peace."
Dorothy raised an eyebrow. "And . . . ?"
"No, Dorothy," said Relena sternly.
A mysterious smile flitted over Dorothy's lips as she took the negatives back from Sally. "Very well," she said, and she grabbed a lighter from her bag, lit it and held the flame beneath the negatives. "I suppose I should destroy them."
"No!" cried Sally, Noin, Catherine, Hilde, and Relena, leaping toward her as the plastic negatives began to curl from the heat of the flame.
Dorothy stopped, an expression of mock-surprise on her face. "Wait . . ." she said slowly, taking the lighter away from the negatives and extinguishing the flame. "You don't want me to destroy them?"
The other girls looked away, not meeting her eyes, which were glinting in mischief. "You want to keep them?" she asked in delight.
"Well . . . we could keep them," said Noin thoughtfully.
"Just so long as they're not discovered by anyone else," said Hilde.
"Right," said Relena. "We can keep them, they'll just be . . ."
" . . . Souvenirs?" finished Dorothy mischievously.
They stared at her, and she grinned. Dorothy then grabbed a pair of scissors from her bag and began to cut apart each negative image, carefully trimming each one until she had a tiny stack of six negatives sitting before her.
"How shall we divide them?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at the other girls. "Or should that be obvious?"
As Noin, Hilde, and Relena each grabbed the negatives of Zechs, Duo, and Heero, Dorothy found her answer.
Dorothy grinned wickedly as the other three pictures went to she, Sally, and Catherine. "I wonder what the boys did with their pictures?" she said thoughtfully.
The smoke from the tiny bonfire in the middle of the cabin billowed around the six men as they sat in a circle around it. For a long moment they didn't speak; they only watched the photographs in the fire blacken and deteriorate, the flames reflecting in their eyes as slowly, each man began to relax with the knowledge that those pictures were being destroyed.
"I think . . ." whispered Quatre, finally breaking the silence, "I think we're safe."
Wufei's black eyes stared unblinkingly into the flickering flames. "You really trust that they'll keep their word?"
"You don't?" asked Zechs. "They gave us the only pictures they had, after all."
"So they say," said Wufei, turning toward him. "Who's to say they didn't lie? Or what if they still have negatives?"
Duo let out a skeptical laugh, but it sounded a bit nervous. "They wouldn't do that. They gave us their word."
Heero frowned into the fire. "How good is their word?" he asked. "You can't deny that those women have proven to be more conniving and manipulative than we ever imagined."
"Sounds like someone's grumpy about his girlfriend deceiving him," said Duo with a smirk.
Zechs sputtered as Heero scowled at Duo and didn't reply.
"Heero has a point, but I think we need to trust the girls," said Quatre. "The battle's over, and they have no reason to deceive us. They did win."
"They didn't win," scoffed Wufei. "We simply forfeited."
No one decided to point out that that was basically the same thing, but Zechs raised an eyebrow at Wufei. "You really don't trust women, do you?"
"I do when they give me reason to," said Wufei. "So no, not really."
Duo stared at Wufei. "How were you ever married?"
"Shut up, Maxwell."
Trowa was looking out the window, his green eyes narrow as he stared for several long moments before speaking. "The girls are coming over," he observed quietly.
"What?"
The other five men grouped around the window to see that, indeed, their six female counterparts were walking toward their cabin, with Hilde toting a huge basket and Relena carrying a bag full of something the guys couldn't see.
"Oh, God," muttered Duo. "They've come to kill us all."
They heard a knocking at the door, and Quatre rose to answer it with a grin, saying, "Duo, don't be so dramatic. We're at peace now."
Sure enough, when Quatre opened the door it was not to death and destruction but to six smiling faces.
"Hello, ladies," he greeted cheerfully. "What brings you here?"
"Well," said Hilde briskly, shoving the large basket she had been carrying into Quatre's hands, "seeing as how this is such a peaceful day and how there's a wonderful cookout area just waitingto be used, we thought we should have a barbecue!"
As Quatre stared dazedly down at the basket of food in his hands, Duo blinked around at the girls. "You're not planning on barbecuingus, are you?" he asked.
"Of course not!" said Catherine brightly. "We brought hamburger patties to grill!"
"Hamburgers that are made from cows, not people," added Dorothy quickly.
"Cows and arsenic?" asked Wufei skeptically.
"No, plain beef patties," said Hilde, rolling her eyes. "Plus potato salad, macaroni and cheese, casserole, and some hotdogs."
"So, what do you say?" asked Relena sweetly, holding out her bag, which they could now see was full of paper plates and cups. "Shall we barbecue?"
The men could only stare at them for a long, skeptical moment before Heero asked flatly, "Why are you doing this?"
"Because we want to," said Relena, her smile faltering under his glare.
"Or maybe because you feel guilty," said Heero, and the way he said it was so accusatory that the others stared at him in surprise while Relena lowered her head and turned away.
"No," said Noin, stepping toward him. "We're doing this because we came on this trip to have fun with the people we love, and it's time to start doing that."
"We're going home tomorrow," said Sally, "and there's a grill beside our cabin that we haven't even touched yet. Now that we have peace, we should take advantage of it."
"Please?" said Hilde, looking around at them. Her gaze settled on Duo, who was staring at her. "Let's just enjoy ourselves and forget about everything that happened."
There was a long moment of silence as the men thought about this proposition, then, to his surprise (and everyone else's) Duo was the first one to grin and say, "I'm game."
"Sounds like a good idea to me," said Quatre enthusiastically.
"Sure," said Zechs.
Trowa nodded
The girls looked expectantly at Wufei and Heero, who after several seconds were still making no move or sound to indicate their willingness to be involved with this plan.
"Guys?" said Hilde hesitantly. "Wanna barbecue?"
"I'm not sure if I do," said Wufei coldly.
Sally folded her arms, looking very determined. "Well, you're gonna."
He snorted derisively. "I'd like to see you make me."
Sally's eyes sparked, and she marched up to him. "With pleasure," she said, and to everyone's amusement but Wufei's, she grabbed him by the pigtail and proceeded to drag him to the door.
"Ouch!" cried Wufei, swatting at her and dragging his heels against the ground to stop their progression. "Woman, let go!"
Sally smiled sweetly at the others as she continued to drag Wufei away. "We'll just go start up the grill," she said brightly. "Come on, Wufei."
And with a strangled "WOMAN!" from Wufei, Sally had dragged him out the door by his pigtail.
Dorothy and Duo sniggered at Wufei's predicament, and Hilde looked around at them. Her eyes rested briefly on Heero and Relena, who were silently watching one another, then she abruptly looked away and ginned at the others. "Well," she said cheerfully, "let's go make sure Sally and Wufei don't kill each other."
"Let's go!" cheered Catherine, grabbing the bag from Relena and prancing to the door. The others made their way toward the door as well, until only Heero was left standing in the room, arms folded and eyes hard as he stared at Relena, who was still at the door watching him. Zechs paused in the doorway as he walked out, glancing suspiciously back at Relena, but Noin merely grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the cabin.
After the door closed there was a long moment of strained silence before Relena stepped toward Heero, her gentle eyes apologetic.
"Heero," she said, "please."
His eyes were narrow as he watched her and didn't respond.
Relena shook her head, her soft hair moving about her face as she did so. "I never should have behaved as I did."
Heero stared at her as she reached his side, stopping to stand quietly before him.
After a moment, he broke the silence. "You . . . surprised me," he said quietly.
"I know, Heero," she said weakly, lowering her head. "I know, and I'm sorry for deceiving you."
Heero stared at Relena for a long moment, and the hardness in his eyes softened slightly. "I know you are," he said. "At any rate, I'm glad you've learned to protect yourself. It means I've not been a complete waste as your bodyguard." And he reached up to gingerly touch the still-bruised area around his eye.
"You've never been a waste, Heero," Relena said earnestly, pulling his hand away from his eye. "You've been so wonderful that I never want you to leave my side."
He raised his eyebrows as she flushed and brought a hand to her mouth, apparently having said too much. Heero stared at her for a long, tense moment, his face expressionless but his eyes very warm, even amused.
"I-I only meant that you've been so efficient in your constant efforts to protect me," Relena said quickly, her cheeks flushed. "You've always been supportive of my politics, even when you don't agree, so why wouldn't I want you to be near me? I only meant that . . . I wasn't trying to suggest . . ."
That was when, gently and without warning, Heero took her chin in his hand and kissed her.
Outside, oblivious to what was going on in the other cabin, the rest of the group were getting the grill started up. With the intention of letting Heero and Relena have some time alone, uninterrupted, Noin had sweetly asked Zechs to find an axe she was sure she had seen somewhere so they could chop up wood for a fire.
Zechs was heading down to the lake, the last place Noin could remember seeing it, when Quatre came up beside Noin and smiled gently at her.
"Hi, Quatre," Noin said pleasantly.
He nodded in greeting, then sighed. "I'm sorry I betrayed you girls," he said softly.
Noin waved it off. "Please. I would have done the same thing. Besides, you weren't nearly as bad as Zechs. All you did was . . ."
". . . Help cause something that made Dorothy go crazy?" he finished quietly.
Noin laughed. "Yeah," she chuckled, shaking her head. "Not that she needed the help, huh?"
But Quatre didn't reply; he was staring with huge eyes at something behind Noin, who froze, expecting the worst.
"She . . . she's not right behind me, is she?" she asked worriedly.
Dazed-looking, Quatre shook his head, and Noin turned around to look at what he had been staring at.
"Whoa!" she cried, and Quatre shushed her.
"Miss Noin, please, what if Zechs . . . ?"
"Right," said Noin, and, grabbing Quatre by the shirt, she dragged him behind the girls' cabin. No one seemed to notice this, and the pair crouched down behind a bush so that they could still see what was going on in the other cabin while avoiding being seen by anyone else.
Quatre looked slightly nervous. "Miss Noin, we shouldn't be spying . . ." he said, but his voice trailed off as he looked toward the other cabin and flushed, letting out a startled sound. "Oh, my."
"This certainly clears up any doubts I had over the nature of relationship," said Noin with a quiet snigger.
"This is wrong," said Quatre, shaking his head. "Miss Relena would be mortified if she knew we could see what they're . . . oh, dear . . . he's got her right up against that window, hasn't he?"
They both froze as they heard footsteps approaching, and Zechs walked by at that moment. Noin and Quatre hurriedly stood up and turned to him innocently.
"I still can't find that axe," he said, regarding Noin suspiciously. "Are you sure you saw it by the lake?"
"Erm, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I saw it by the bus somewhere," Noin answered cautiously.
"Thanks, I'll check," said Zechs, turning to walk away. He paused, turning back to them with an eyebrow raised. "What are you two doing?"
"Nothing!" insisted Quatre, looking around and noticing how suspicious their setting was. He glanced at the ground, then grinned that sweet, innocent Quatre grin that no one could suspect. "We were burying something here!" Noin scowled at him.
Zechs frowned. "Burying something?" he repeated slowly, looking from Quatre to Noin.
Quatre elbowed Noin, who said loudly, "Yeah! Um . . . yeah . . ." She then grew much more serious and answered somberly, "We found a dead bird and decided to give it a proper burial."
"Yes," said Quatre in an equally somber voice. "Would you like to say a few words, Zechs?"
Blue eyes peered skeptically at them for a moment before Zechs sighed and shook his head. "No, thanks," he said, turning and walking away. "I'm gonna go try and find that axe."
They could hear his footsteps become faint as he walked away, and Quatre and Noin immediately relaxed.
"A dead bird?" asked Quatre, raising an eyebrow.
"Look who's talking, Mister 'We-Were-Burying-Something-Here,'" replied Noin.
Quatre frowned. "Don't judge me," he said. "You killed a bird."
Noin sighed. "Well, it worked, didn't it?"
Quatre rolled his eyes. "Sure . . . whatever helps you sleep at night."
She swatted at him; he was grinning. "Hush," she said, crouching back down. Quatre followed suit, and they both resumed peeking at the two occupants of the other cabin.
"Wow," Noin murmured after a minute. "They're really . . . wow."
Quatre had turned faintly pink. "I think they've made up," he commented quietly.
Noin let out a squeak and covered her eyes. "I think I've seen too much," she said.
"And with the curtains open, no less," said Quatre, now bright red. "Have they no shame?"
Just then Zechs walked by, brandishing a rusted old axe. "Found it," he said cheerily, holding it up.
Wide-eyed and horrified, Quatre immediately snatched the axe from the tall man's outstretched hand. "I'll take that, Zechs," he said hurriedly, scurrying away with axe in hand.
"Why?" asked Zechs, blinking widely as he watched Quatre run like hell from the cabin. He looked back at Noin, perplexed, but his gaze suddenly traveled past his fiancée and through the bushes to where the other cabin was very visible, as well as the two occupants making out inside.
Zechs froze, going pale, and Noin quickly edged away as he stuttered, "Is-is that . . ." His voice faded, and for a moment he looked as though he was on the verge of passing out or exploding. A moment later, he chose the latter.
"GET THE HELL OFF MY SISTER!"
The scream carried into the other cabin, and Heero leaped off of Relena, who was lying on the bed with her blouse half-unbuttoned. Both of their eyes were wide, and Heero looked as though his very life was on the line. And it may have been, for when they looked out the window they saw a red-faced, sputtering, screaming Zechs racing toward the cabin, arms flailing madly.
"Well, it's been fun," said Heero hurriedly, edging toward the window. Relena let out a muffled whimper as Zechs reached the door and began to bang on it furiously.
"I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, HEERO!" bellowed Zechs. "YOU'RE DEAD!"
Heero glanced nervously at the door, then at Relena, and back again. Finally, he leaped toward Relena grabbed her, and kissed her. Then, as Relena stared on, wide eyed, he scurried to the window, opened it, and scrambled out.
After listening to Zechs pound on the door for a few more seconds, Relena decided that Heero had the right idea and decided to escape out the window as well.
The others, who had been grilling hamburgers and hotdogs, looked around at the sounds of Zechs' screams of horror. After witnessing Heero climb out of the window followed by a ruffled-looking Relena, the reason behind Zechs' screams became very clear.
Duo wolf-whistled as Heero ran toward them and tried his damnedest to blend in with the group. "So," he said, clapping Heero on the back. "I guess you two are on good terms again."
Heero scowled at him as Relena ran over, breathless, flushed, and fiddling with the buttons of her shirt. "That smells good, guys," she said, rearranging her hair and trying not to look conspicuous. The Cheshire Cat grins the others sent her told her she wasn't as inconspicuous as she had hoped.
Dorothy was smiling wickedly. "So . . ." she said conversationally, "it seems the Vice Foreign Minister and her bodyguard are involved in a scandalous relationship."
Relena flushed. "No! Not at all!" she cried. "We were only . . . we were just . . . it was . . . we weren't . . ."
But she didn't have to come up with an explanation because at that moment, Zechs was speeding toward them so fast that a cloud of dust was steadily following him. Heero had suddenly disappeared, hiding himself behind a nearby tree, while Relena was cowering behind Noin.
Zechs skidded to a halt in front of Noin, red-faced and out of breath. "Yuy . . ." he gasped. "Where is he . . . ?"
Sally was the one who blinked over at Zechs. "Why do you want to know?" she asked, trying to hide a knowing grin.
Zechs' red face grew so red he looked as if he would explode from anger. "He was molesting my SISTER!" he cried. "They were in there . . . kissing . . . and . . . canoodling . . . and . . ." Unable to finish, Zechs let out a strangled sound of rage and horror and buried his face into Noin's shoulder.
"'Canoodling?'" chortled Duo.
As Noin soothingly rubbed Zechs' back, Sally, smiling very widely for some reason, turned to Wufei. "Alright," she said, holding out a hand. "Pay up."
The Chinese boy folded his arms. "I don't think this situation meets the terms of the bet," he said stubbornly.
"Bull," said Sally with a grin. "They were kissing in there, so that definitely applies. Pay up."
Wufei scowled and reached into his pocket, withdrawing several bills which he shoved into Sally's hand. "Yuy, you weakling," he muttered.
Sally grinned and stuck the money in her pocket. "Thank you."
"Wait a second," said Catherine, blinking at Sally and Wufei. "Did you two actually bet on whether or not Heero and Relena would get together on this trip?"
"Well . . ." said Sally, "a little." Wufei nodded.
"Sally, how could you?" cried a voice from behind Noin.
Zechs looked up to see Relena peeking guiltily around Noin's back, and before Relena could hide behind anyone, a frightening look crossed her brother's face.
"Relena!" he roared, looking somewhat mad.
"Hello, brother," she said, looking very much like she wanted the ground beneath her to open up and swallow her whole.
Zechs stared at her for a long moment, his face still quite red and his eyes still quite insane. "Relena!" he said. "You . . . you . . ." He sputtered as if he didn't quite know a word harsh enough to describe her offense, and after a moment he bellowed, ". . . YOU!"
Relena blinked as innocently as she could at him, but still she recoiled at the anger in his voice. "B-brother, are you angry?" she asked sweetly.
"Angry?" said Zechs. "Angry? Relena, I am ASHAMED of you!"
"Ashamed of me?" said Relena. Her eyes were wide, but there was an odd flicker of anger in them.
"Yes!" shouted Zechs. "Alone in a cabin with a man is bad enough, but to be in there sucking face with YUY . . ."
That was when Relena Darlian snapped. Like a woman possessed, she marched up to her brother and glowered at him, the muscles in her small body so tense she was trembling in fury. "And why can't I?" she demanded, eyes burning and fiercely blue as she glared at Zechs, who was backing away slowly.
"R-Relena?" he stammered, taken aback (as was everyone else).
"Why can't I kiss whoever I want?" asked Relena, her eyes boring angrily into her brother. "I say if I want to kiss Heero, then I will, and by God, you cannot stop me!" Zechs looked horrified as Relena grabbed Heero from the tree he had been hiding behind, pulled him forward, and kissed him full on the mouth in front of everyone. Heero's eyes were wide as Relena kissed him, and he looked nervously at the others, who were either looking quite shocked or hiding grins behind their hands . . . except for Zechs, who looked as though a vein in his head was about to explode.
A second later, Relena pulled away from the kiss and glared at Zechs. "Are you still ashamed of me?" she asked hotly.
"Erm . . ." said Zechs, still looking horrified.
"Okay," said Relena, and she pulled Heero toward her and kissed him again, this time much more passionately. A few wolf-whistles erupted from the group of onlookers, as well as a disgusted, "Oh, dear God," from Wufei.
Zechs jumped in between them, pushing the kissing pair apart. "Alright, stop, STOP!" he shouted, his eyes wide and crazed-looking. He glared at Heero, who looked both frightened and slightly embarrassed, and then at Relena, who looked very smug for some reason.
"Are you still ashamed of me, brother?" she asked sweetly.
Zechs looked like he was struggling with what best to say, but in his hesitation, Relena inched a little bit closer to Heero and gave Zechs the answer. "No!" he blurted out. "No, Relena! I'm not ashamed of you! I'm proud of you!"
She looked up at him, eyes shining. "Really?" she asked jubilantly. "Then you must be happy about this!"
Zechs' face fell, and for a moment it looked as though he was close to crying in frustration. That moment passed, however, because Relena chose to squeal in happiness and tackle her brother in a huge hug.
"I had no IDEA you'd approve of this, Milliardo!" she cried happily, squeezing the miserable-looking Zechs. "How wonderful that you think so highly of Heero!"
As Zechs sent a withering glare in Heero's direction, Duo tapped the former pilot on the shoulder.
"Good luck," he muttered, smirking.
"What, with Zechs?" asked Heero skeptically. "He doesn't scare me."
Duo's smirk turned into an evil grin. "Nope. I mean Relena. She's ten times scarier and more manipulative than I even thought she could be"
Heero winced a little at his words but remained silent. Zechs was still glaring daggers at the smaller man, even as Relena released her brother, smiled widely, and clapped her hands together as she turned to look around at the others. She smiled pleasantly at them, looking as if nothing had happened, save for the slight pinkness in her cheeks.
"Shall we eat?" she asked sweetly.
After just witnessing how truly crazy an angry Relena could be, the others thought it best if they agree right away and hurried toward the grill. As they got their plates and began to load them up with food, Dorothy grinned over at Noin.
"I've never admired Miss Relena so much as now," she said quietly, spooning some casserole onto her plate.
Noin eyed Dorothy worriedly. "I actually thought she acted a bit like you," she commented as she sucked a bit of mayonnaise off her thumb.
Dorothy beamed at her. "Really, Miss Noin?" she asked happily. "Thank you!"
Noin watched as Dorothy flounced over to the table to sit beside Catherine, and she shook her head. "I should have known you'd take that as a compliment," she muttered, but she could not stop a hint of a smile from curving her lips.
After a few minutes, everyone had gotten their food and sat down to eat. No longer was the group divided by gender; the six men and six women ate together as a group of twelve. There was much joking and jovial chatting, and even Wufei seemed to be cheerful despite his recent emasculation by Sally.
"See?" Relena said quietly to Heero, who had just settled cautiously in the seat next to her. "Living peacefully is so much better than the alternative."
He smiled slightly at her, but the look disappeared as a voice from behind them said, "Excuse me," and a plate of food was shoved into the space between them on the table.
Relena and Heero looked up in surprise and raised their eyebrows as Zechs determinedly wedged himself into the tiny amount of space between them.
"Milliardo!" said Relena as she and Heero scooted apart to allow Zechs more room to sit, although they both looked bewildered.
Noin, who was sitting across from them, eyed her fiancé curiously. "What are you doing, Zechs?"
"I simply wanted to sit by my dear sister," said Zechs flatly.
"But Milliardo, there's plenty of room on my other side," pointed out Relena.
Zechs smiled in a very forced way. "I want to sit by Heero, too," he growled.
Noin snorted. "Really."
"Wow," commented Duo from the other side of Noin. "It's amazing how Zechs can make the words 'sit by' sound almost exactly like the word 'kill.'"
As Zechs scowled, Hilde raised a brow at Duo. "Behave, you," she said, jabbing her fork at him. "Keep in mind what happened last time you started trouble."
Duo laughed nervously. "Yeah, but this time I'm not making youmad."
Hilde looked dangerously at him. "Yet."
Trying to look as if he wasn't uncomfortable with the situation in the slightest, Heero cleared his throat. "Zechs," he said, very stiffly, "pass the salt, please."
"My pleasure," said Zechs through grit teeth, grabbing the salt shaker and throwing it quite forcefully at him.
The salt shaker was making a beeline toward Heero's head, but the former pilot caught in nimbly before it could connect. "Thank you," growled Heero, sounding every bit like he didn't mean it.
Relena beamed at them. "You two are getting along so well," she said happily.
Heero and Zechs glared at her.
"How sweet," cooed Noin, grinning widely and making Relena giggle.
"I hate you both," said Zechs and Heero simultaneously. They exchanged grudging glances, both surprised and irritated they had said the same thing, then they both turned away and folded their arms like sulking schoolboys.
As Relena and Noin suppressed grins, Duo laughed. "It's so nice to see you two have become such good friends," he said, grinning cheekily. "Soon you'll be finishing each other's sentences and having sleepovers . . ."
He was cut off as two plates of food were thrown simultaneously at his face, but no one could really blame Heero or Zechs for doing it.
The rest of the night passed without further incident, and the peace that had been established between the two groups continued to thrive. True, Heero and Relena were now being constantly chaperoned by Zechs, much to their annoyance, but Noin did her best to divert his attention by talking about their upcoming wedding. Only once, when they were all sitting around the campfire, toasting marshmallows and discussing the various strategies they had used in their battle (the boys were curious about how they had been dressed up without their knowledge . . . and how much of their modesty had been preserved), did a problem arise.
Relena, who had been glancing sidelong at Heero for the past few minutes, shyly slipped her hand into his; to her relief, Zechs didn't notice.
Heero looked at her out of the corner of his eye, seeming a bit amused. "Someone's getting bold," he commented.
She grinned at him, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Her lips were an inch from his cheek when a loud, high-pitched sound broke the silence and they turned to look at Zechs, who was holding a whistle in his mouth.
"I don't think so," he said with a glare..
"Milliardo, really!" said Relena, frowning at him. "You can't prevent me from expressing my affection for Heero."
Trying not to think about the implications of that statement, Zechs glared at her. "No, but I can prevent you from doing it in front of me."
Relena's eyebrows arched, and a spark entered her eye. "Oh?" she said coolly. "Very well." She then stood to her feet, pulling Heero to his feet as she did so.
"Come on, Heero," she said sweetly. "Let's go for a walk."
Heero, who wasn't one to argue with such a pleasant prospect, grunted in response and followed after Relena as she shot Zechs a smug look and began to walk away from the campfire.
"You're going to have to get used to this," commented Quatre as he removed the marshmallow he had been toasting from its stick. "You know how much they care for each other. It's obvious."
Zechs looked miserable. "I know," he said
Noin rested her head on his shoulder. "Don't fret so much about it," she said. "They're both smart and mature for their age."
"Besides, it took them three years to get together," said Duo, matter-of-factly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zechs asked, suddenly uncomfortable with the whole group discussing the love life of his little sister.
"They won't go rushing into anything," suggested Sally.
"They're okay with their relationship being in the public eye," said Catherine.
"Yuy's brain cells are less than we thought," said Wufei.
Zechs snorted. "I can believe that one."
A rock suddenly sailed in from out of nowhere and nailed Zechs in the temple.
"We're not too far away to hear, you know," came Heero's voice from behind them.
Zechs let out a roar of rage and leaped from his place beside Noin, racing toward the sound of Heero's voice. Several crashing sounds ensued, and a second later Relena trudged back over to the campfire. The others watched her as the sounds of Zechs chasing Heero continued around them, but she seemed unaffected by the ruckus.
Plopping down beside Noin, Relena smiled pleasantly. "May I have a marshmallow?" she asked.
As several more crashes and sounds of fury came from the darkness around them, a marshmallow was handed to Relena. She stuck it on a stick and poked it into the fire, watching as it began to puff up from the heat.
"Lovely night," she said conversationally.
"Very," remarked Noin.
Dorothy was trying to peer into the darkness, hoping to see a glimpse of the scuffle between Zechs and Heero. "I wonder who'll win," she said eagerly.
"Zechs," said Wufei. "He's stronger and has one hell of a grudge against Yuy."
"I've got five bucks that says Heero wins," said Sally with a sidelong look at her partner.
Wufei raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't care what your crazy talking money says," he said flatly. "No betting for me."
"Ah, I see," Sally said with a smirk. "Scared of losing to a woman again?"
A spark entered Wufei's black eyes. "I'll take that bet."
Quatre shook his head. "Is this really the time to gamble?" he asked.
Trowa raised an eyebrow. "You wouldn't approve even if they were in a casino," he pointed out.
Quatre chuckled. "Yeah . . ."
"Oh, I see someone," said Catherine, pointing into the darkness.
They all squinted as the form of Heero appeared from the darkness, limping slightly and sporting a bloody nose.
"Heero!" cried Relena, running to his side. "Are you okay?"
He nodded, glancing at Noin. "Your fiancé will be here in a moment, just as soon as he removes his head from the vicinity of his ass."
Noin winced as the others chuckled, and Sally grinned at Wufei, holding her hand out.
"Pay up," she said cheerfully.
Wufei glared at her. "I hate you."
The next morning, both groups were in their cabins, packing their belongings. They had a flight to catch in four hours, and it took two to reach the airport, so it was with a very rushed air that the men and women packed their suitcases and cleaned the cabins up as best they could. Understandably, as they stereotypically had packed much more, the women were struggling to get everything together in time.
"I can't find my throwing knives," said Catherine, looking under her pillow. "Has anyone seen them?"
"I haven't," said Dorothy, going through her suitcase. "And I haven't a clue where my Pazerfaust went."
"Didn't you leave that by the door for protection?" asked Sally.
"Oh, that's right," said Dorothy, perking up.
There was a knock at the door, and Relena paused in her packing to stare apprehensively at it. "Oh, dear," she said. "Do you suppose Milliardo's come to kill me?"
"Nah," said Noin. "He'll probably just force you to join a nunnery."
Relena laughed, then stopped, eyes wide as she considered that. "Do you think he'd do that?" she asked softly.
Noin smirked and shook her head as whoever was on the other side of the door knocked again.
Hilde grinned at them. "I'll get it," she said, and she rose to answer it, bouncing happily on the balls of her feet as she approached the door and opened it.
She was surprised to see Duo standing before her, his expression faintly nervous. "Duo!" she said in surprise, blinking down at him. "Why aren't you packing?"
"I have to ask you something," he said quietly.
"Erm . . ." said Hilde, glancing back into the cabin. "Is this really the moment? We don't want to be late, and I can already tell you that no, I'll never dress you up in my clothes again."
"It's not that," said Duo. "Um . . . it's really to do with this whole week."
Hilde raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite herself. "Go on."
"Well . . ." continued Duo, fidgeting for some reason, "I've always seen you as a woman, Hilde, but this is the first time I've truly seen you as an equal. We've been dating for three years, but I've really underappreciated you. It took you turning against me for me to realize that, but I'm glad I did."
Hilde was starting to blush, increasingly aware of the presence of the other girls in the cabin and the fact that their silence meant they could hear every word Duo had said. "Thank you, Duo," she said. "You're acting strange, you don't need to say all this."
That was when Duo dropped down on one knee and pulled a small box from his pocket. Hilde froze.
"Bwah?" she squeaked.
"Bwah?" echoed the other five girls.
"Having you fighting against me was torture," said Duo, looking her in the eye. "You're such a formidable opponent and such an amazing woman at the same time . . . I'm lucky to have you, Hilde. I love you, and I always want to appreciate you for who you are. This experience taught me that. So it's time for me to ask my question."
The room was dead silent as Duo opened the box, revealing a small diamond ring. "Hilde Schbeiker, will you marry me?"
Hilde stared at him. Her eyes were huge, and her brain had stopped. "Does this mean I can dress you up in my clothes again?" she asked, blurting out the first thing she could think of.
Duo winced. "Um . . . not really the time, Hilde," he said. "I'm kinda waiting for an answer here."
Hilde's eyes were wide and glassy as she regarded her boyfriend. "You . . . you really want me?" she asked softly. "I mean . . . really?"
"More than anything," said Duo. He swallowed hard. "Please, Hilde," he said, and his voice was sincere and earnest as he stared at her. "I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live."
A faint smile was hovering over Hilde's lips. "You dummy," she said fondly, kneeling down to smile at him. "As if I'd say no."
He looked hopefully at her. "Is that a yes?"
Hilde nodded, her eyes tearing up. "That's a hell yes."
They embraced, laughing giddily, as the other five girls stood watching, both moved and a bit flabbergasted.
"How sweet . . ." said a sniffling Relena, almost enviously. "God, I need a tissue."
Catherine handed her one. "Hilde's getting married!" she cheered.
As Hilde and Duo kissed, the petite ring already glittering on Hilde's finger, Dorothy stepped forward.
"Declare your bridesmaids, woman!" she cried.
Looking as though she had forgotten the others were even there, Duo and Hilde turned to look at them.
"Erm . . ." said Hilde, looking a bit stunned. "Bridesmaids? Wow, I have to . . . um . . . I'll get back to you."
Dorothy grinned, satisfied. "It'll be me," she said confidently.
"The only way I'd see that happening is if Hilde did it to keep you from going nuts," said Catherine with a sly grin.
The others chuckled, not noticing that Duo and Hilde, grinning at each other as they held hands, silently left the cabin.
Noticing their absence, Noin raised an eyebrow. "Oh, now we're REALLY going to be late," she said.
Sally snapped her fingers. "That reminds me," she said, remembering something that made her grin widely. "I have to go collect more winnings."
As she moved to the door, the other girls looked incredulously at her. "Wait . . . more winnings?" said Catherine, eyes wide. "What do you mean?"
"Please tell me you didn't bet on Duo and Hilde getting engaged," said Relena.
Sally looked insulted. "No," she said. "Of course not."
"Then what did you bet on?" asked Dorothy.
Idly fingering one of her braids and looking nonchalant, Sally shrugged. "Oh . . . I just bet Wufei that SOMEONE would wind up engaged on this trip."
"And seeing as how Duo and Hilde are the only ones officially a couple other than Zechs and I, who are already engaged . . ." said Noin suspiciously.
". . . You obviously must have meant Duo and Hilde," finished Catherine flatly.
Sally looked innocently at them. "I'm just lucky," she said sweetly, then she turned and went to the door.
"How do you do it?" asked Dorothy, admiringly.
Sally grinned back at them and winked. "Call it a woman's intuition," she said.
The other women stared at her as she went out the door. Relena shook her head.
"Wufei will not be pleased," she commented.
"Is he ever?" asked Noin wryly.
Relena grinned. "I guess not."
The hours passed, and soon the group was loaded onto the bus and heading down the highway. It was a relatively peaceful journey; Zechs had grudgingly left Heero and Relena alone and let them sit together (they suspected Noin had something to do with this), and even Wufei had stopped glaring at Sally for rendering him broke over the past two days and was chatting almost amiably with Dorothy about ancient Chinese weaponry. Hilde was showing her ring off to everyone, even though the occupants of the bus had already seen it, and Quatre, Trowa, and Catherine were playing a game of Old Maid. The atmosphere was so peaceful and so calm that it seemed as if the events of the past week had never happened.
"Ninety-nine bottle of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beeer . . ."
"DUO!!!"
Well, almost.
Even as they looked back on the vacation and what became commonly referred to as the "Battle of the Sexes," the outcome itself no longer became a subject of importance, nor the events that lead towards that victory. What was remembered most was the sense of equality that was established on that vacation and the relationships that were strengthened as a result of it. Regardless of background, gender, or personal beliefs, each person involved gained new respect for the others, even if it was an unspoken respect or even a grudging one.
And the boys never found out about the negatives.
-fin-
Well, it's finally done! Huzzah! I hope you guys liked it! I'm sorry this last chapter took so long to get out, but I swear, it's because I had no idea how to properly wrap this story up. I'm pretty satisfied with this one; I think it wraps up everything nicely and was hopefully a satisfying ending. I want to thank every person who read this story and reviewed it! It really was a pleasure to write and, 100 pages later, it confirmed to me that comedy is definitely my favorite genre to write!
Please let me know what you guys think! Maybe one day there'll be a sequel or something. There are a few weddings coming up, after all.
Peace,
Sillabub
11/03/07