CracKing Chronicles, Vol. I - CracKing in Denial

Summary: Michael Moscovitz would never, ever be caught dead writing in a journal but a blog is different, right? Lots of geniuses have their own
blogs. Well, whatever.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Princess Diaries series. The series and all its characters belong to Meg Cabot. I just own the thoughts of Michael.

Wednesday, September 24th
Category: Blah

I can't believe my parents are doing this to me. I, Michael Moscovitz, would never be caught

dead writing in a journal, or worse, a diary. But, they said they will revoke the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy if I don't comply with their rules. One of their rules is to keep a journal of some type. According to them, I "need to be honest with myself". It's just a bunch of crap, if you ask me. I am perfectly honest with myself let alone everyone else. Lilly thinks I'm a little too direct.

Well, maybe a blog is different. A lot of my 'friends' from Computer Club have blogs. So, it can't be that bad, right? Well, whatever. I've decided to create a blog. It's private too. Well, the entries that I'd prefer private are private while others are public. I'd rather not have a gazillion idiots reading my thoughts. It is easily accessible as well. It can be found through my Webzine, Crackhead. should be working on this month's issue of Crackhead, actually. But setting up a blog is no picnic, let me tell you. So, anyway, this is basically my test entry. I have to categorize every entry too. It will be useful in the future, I reckon but it's kind of a pain in the ass. What if there is no

category? So, I've decided to create a category called 'blah'. Any entry with no big category is categorized 'blah'. Useful, huh? Or, maybe, it's just rather stupid.

So, I may as well talk about myself now. I am a seventeen-year-old senior at Albert Einstein High School in Manhattan. I am Jewish… well, not that Jewish. I mean, I eat BLTs all the time, my favorite sandwich in fact. I have an annoying little sister, Lilly Moscovitz, who has amply proved over the years that she can not only take care of herself, but is also quite a genius. Something I will never admit. I'm too egoistical for my own good.

I play the guitar too. I taught myself, actually. No one knows I play either. Not even my parents. I am completely serious when I say no one. I don't intend to tell anyone either. I'm a rather withdrawn and reserved person, really. Until you get to know me, though. Then, I can talk… a lot and for a really, really long time too. I have an IQ of over 100. 170… something like that. I write songs as well as play the guitar and I must say, the lyrics are pretty sweet.

Now, physical traits, you ask? Oh, God. I'm talking to a blog. I've gone completely insane. But, well, anyway… I have dark brown hair and brown eyes. I'm just average, I guess. I'm 6'1" and have awesome abs. Haha. Well, I'm attractive enough. I hope.

However, even I were attractive to the female species, I am a geek so the chances of me getting a girl are zero. But, I haven't exactly tried getting a girl. I am not saying that I swing from the other side of the bat… I just don't find any girl from AEHS attractive. Judith is kind of hot, but she has a boyfriend. Besides, I'm seventeen and have yet to kiss a girl. Name one girl who would want to date an inexperienced geek from the Computer Club. Name just one bloody name.

Well, okay… I do kind of like this one girl. Actually, I don't. At least I think I don't. Actually, I'm not quite sure what I think of her. Maybe I like her, maybe I don't. I'm kind of 50/50 about my feelings. This one side is completely head-over-heels while the other side is, like: "No, stay away Moscovitz!" Which side should I listen to?

See, the girl… is a freshman. Low, huh? But, wait, not only is she a freshman but also my little sister's best friend. You must be thinking… God, how low can be go? It isn't MY fault that Lilly always brings her over. It's not my fault that Mia always looks adorable when she's nervous. It's not my fault that Mia… that… what? I don't even know why I like her. I'm probably just… protective. Like an older brother. That better be all that is. I mean, man, when Felix catches wind of this I'm dead for sure. He's my only non-computer-club friend. He's my actual friend. Score one for Moscovitz! But, well, anyway…

I cannot like Mia Thermopolis. I just can't.

Wednesday, September 24th
Category: Family

Okay, so… here I am again, completely contradicting what I said before. But, my parents are going completely over the top here. Okay, so there I was walking into one of their many arguments. They've been arguing like this for a while now, but I always just kind of pushed it to the side. They still love each other, right? I mean, they were making out in front of the sink just yesterday. Even after my many complaints.

So, then, my mom looks at me as I enter the kitchen. I could tell that they were both extremely angry at that moment. And all I could think was, Oops… I walked into an argument. Damn. Now what? Just leave, Moscovitz… Oh, no… Houston, we have a problem!

Mom: Michael, what were you doing in your room?

Me: Don't ask, don't tell…. Remember Mom?

Well, I got away with that…

Mom: Fine. But, do you agree with your father about this… this neopsychoanalysis movement?

Damn. Run, Moscovitz, run!

Me: Whoa… Mom, don't drag me into this.

Mom: Michael James Moscovitz!

Me: Mom. I'm serious. Can I just grab the cereal bowl? That was all I came here for.

Dad: Answer your mother, Michael. Then, we'll find out who's truly right.

Leave! Leave! RUN!

Me: Whatever.

And then I leave without the cereal I had wanted. I think I heard some cries of exasperation. They can't wait until I leave this house, I just know it. Ahh, the joys of family. But, well, anyway…

This argument can't mean anything, right? I really hope not. My parents cannot split up. They just… can't. I mean, come on, who –

Lilly just walked in, the little… ugh. Can't she just leave me the hell alone? I don't understand what her problem is.

Lilly: Hey, dorkus, Mia's coming over tomorrow after school. I just want to list the rules.

No way.

Me: Excuse me?

Lilly: Yes, rules. One: keep your damn shirt on. Two: Don't harass her –

Me: Harass her? I do not harass her.

Lilly: If I recall correctly, you often sexually harass her.

Me: What? I do not! I never have! God, just go away, Lil. What is wrong with you, anyway?

Lilly: What's wrong with me? Due to some drunk night some seventeen years ago, I got you as a brother.

Me: Aw, I'm touched, Lil. Now, get the hell out of my room; I'm busy.

She rolls her eyes and leaves. God, little sisters.

A/N: Please read and review! I would really love constructive criticism!