Summery: They're
dead. Lily's parents are dead and Lily's trapped in a world of
grief. She can't get out, no matter how fast or how far she runs.
But when the bane of her existence gives her the only calm she can
find in the storm, will she be able to recover from her storm of
grief? Oneshot
So help me God if one more bucket of dirty water was dumped on her head, if one more biting book 'mysteriously' found its way into her bag, if one more spell was 'accidentally' fired her way, she was going to commit murder.
More specifically she was going to murder the three most popular boys in Hogwarts, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and most importantly and pleasantly, James Potter. Oh that one would be heavenly.
But so help me God I'll go to Azkaban just to murder those three. Dementors couldn't be as bad as those three. There was nothing worse than those three.
It was lunchtime in the Great Hall at Hogwarts and Lily Evans sat in the unofficial but her spot at the Gryffindor table, quietly eating her food while finishing her Potions homework.
The table went silent, as did the rest of the hall. Dread crept up Lily's spine so she set down her quill and looked up. Seven black owls flew silently above the tables. These were Ministry owls, come to tell their recipients that their parents, sisters, brothers, entire family, had been killed by Death Eaters, Voldemort's, the most powerful dark wizard in centuries, personal army.
Everyone watched as the owls started to land. One to the Slythrin table, two to the Ravenclaw, three to the Hufflepuff, one to the Gryffindor. Cries rang out as students received the news but the Gryffindor table was staring at the owl swooping above the table.
A breath of relief came across the table as the owl landed. One did not. Potter, Lupin, and Black watched in horror as Lily shakily took the letter from the owl. Gryffindor watched as she opened the blood red seal with trembling fingers. Her face went white. Not just gray, or even beige, but pure white.
She stood abruptly and at the last minute James remembered his latest prank, "Lily! Don't!" It was too late. Dirty water appeared out of nowhere and was emptied on her head. She closed her eyes for a moment. No one laughed as they usually did after a prank. Dumbledore approached, "Miss Evans…"
Lily's eyes snapped open and they were darkened with grief and fury. She flicked her wand and James went flying hard into the wall. She made to do a spell but Professor Dumbledore placed a hand on her wrist.
"Enough Miss Evans." Lily tried to move her wand, unaware of tears streaming down her face. Still, Dumbledore didn't let go. She broke. She started thrashing, trying to get out of Dumbledore's grip, sobbing.
"Let me go dammit! Let me go!" Finally she fell to her knees and let out a wail of grief. It took three teachers to get Lily out of there and to the infirmary for a calming potion. Dumbledore turned to James, "I will not punish you Mr. Potter, for I believe that scene was enough consequence for you. For all of us."
Later, in the Gryffindor common room, Remus handed James a piece of paper and a sympathetic glance before going to bed. James looked at the paper and recognized it as the letter Lily had received. He took a breath and opened it.
Dear Miss Evans
I am sorry to have to tell you but there was a Death Eater attack on muggle London today. Sadly, your parents were caught in the crossfire and killed. Your sister and her family have been informed. I am sorry for your loss.
Minister of Magic,
Cornelius Fudge
James reread the paper a few times before sighing and folding it up. Standing and placing the letter in his pocket, he used the charm he and Sirius had long ago found would let them up the girl's dormitories and heading up said dormitories.
Lily had a dormitory to herself since she had gotten first picks and there were few sixth year girls. Knocking on her door, he waited, hoping to hear something. When no sound was heard from the room James pushed open the door.
Lily's room looked like any other teenage girls room. Bed neatly made, a shelf of books on the far wall, mirror with dresser, all the like. But the trunk on the end of the bed was open. Upon closer inspection James saw that it looked like someone had dug through it in a rush, as if looking for something.
He bent to look closer when a he saw a familiar glint out of the corner of his eye. He straightened and looked out the window in time to see something clad in scarlet race after the snitch. James frowned.
It was almost midnight. Who would be stupid enough to be out chasing snitches at this time of night? (He conveniently forgot that Sirius and him do exactly that once a year before the all-important Gryffindor verses Slythrin game)
An idea wormed its way into his head and James raced out of the room, down the stairs, and to his own dorm. Sirius was probably out snogging some girl and Remus was dead asleep. James grabbed his broom, opened the window, and leapt out the window to follow the flash of red.
She didn't feel the broom under her, didn't feel the artic air that whipped past her as she hit 100 mph, didn't feel the ache in her thighs from flying so hard, so long. Her entire being was focused on catching that little golden ball.
If she focused solely on that she wouldn't feel the grief that battered her from all sides. She had to fly, had to catch the snitch. That was her purpose. Catch that little golden ball and all would be right in the world. Mom and Dad would be alive, Petty would still be nasty to her, her and James would fight and yell at each other.
She shoved the fact that it wouldn't, that her parents weren't coming back, to the back of her mind and focused on the snitch. Her broom turned at a slight twitch from her hand and she was doing a 90-degree plunge to the dark ground.
She pulled up at the last minute, the snitch in hand. She didn't stop though, just kept going, letting the snitch go before twisting around to chase after it again. She pulled up to a stop though, to see that the snitch had already been caught.
James Potter sat on his broom a few feet away from her, the snitch clasped tightly in his hand. Even in the dark she could see the concern in his hazel eyes, "you shouldn't be out here without a sweater and cloak, Lily. Its barely above 0."
She had stopped moving and the real world was threatening to intrude. Without arguing she turned her broom and sped off. She had to keep moving. If she kept moving she could outrace her grief, outrace reality. She just had to keep going.
She sped into the Quidditch stadium at top speed, never slowing at the curves as she dove in and out of the hoops. She had to keep moving. As she took the last hoop on the south side of the stadium she saw James beside her, keeping up with her even through the curves. She just went faster.
Still he was at her side. She didn't know how long she flew but James kept stopping her. Whenever she turned to speed off in a different direction he would be there, blocking her. She couldn't move, couldn't fly.
"Let me go!" She didn't realize this echoed her earlier outburst and didn't care. She had to fly. She had to keep going. James shook his head, "No Lily. You have to land and warm up. You'll freeze if you keep this up. Or worse you'll get pneumonia."
She shook her head. Grief was a living, breathing thing, threatening to take over her mind. She had to keep moving. She pulled out her wand and tried to get him to move. He blocked her.
They dueled, in a sense. The spells brought them both closer together and farther apart. James then used a spell that brought her against him. Unbeknownst to Lily, James had lured her to the ground so they were only a foot or two off it.
When she came against him he pulled her off her broom, trapping her wand, and slipped off his own broom. He sent them to her dormitory so he wouldn't wake Remus and turned to her. She was struggling, though it was weak.
"Let me go. Let me go. I have to keep going. Let me go, I have to keep going." James held her tighter, feeling her grief she was desperately trying to keep at bay. "No Lily. You have to ride it out. If you keep flying from it you'll die."
She started crying then. Her struggles ceased and she cried, "I have to go. I have to keep going. Maybe they'll be alive then. Maybe they'll be alive if I keep going." James drew his cloak over her, encasing her in his body heat. He brought his face to her windblown and frozen hair, burying his nose in it.
"They're not coming back Lily. I'm so sorry Lily but they're not coming back." Her sobs increased and she stopped pleading. James picked her up and carried her through the Entrance Hall. She was oblivious, lost in a world of grief.
Reaching a white door on the third floor, James went in to find a bed, a roaring fire, fire whiskey, brandy, and some butter beer along with at least 100 blankets, all fur lined or fleece. James waited until Lily's sobs died down some before setting her gently on the bed. He drew off her frozen shirt, leaving her in a cotton camisole, and lifted her hair, laying three or four blankets over her shoulders.
Making sure she would get warm, James went over to pour a mixture of fire whiskey and brandy in a small-stemmed glass on the table. Coming back over to her he put the glass to her lips and whispered, "Drink Lily." When she didn't listen he tipped her chin up and downed the contents down her throat.
She started coughing. When she looked up at him with something like a glare he was glad to see the glaze had come from her eyes. He stood to go, knowing she wouldn't want him there, when her hand shot out.
Surprised and puzzled he turned to see her looking at him with something like desperation, "don't go. Please, don't leave me alone." He sat back down beside her and stroked her hair, "I'm not going anywhere." She curled against him, whether for warmth or comfort he didn't know.
He had thought she was asleep when she didn't say a thing, just laid her head on his shoulder, when she said in a tiny voice, "you swear you won't leave? No matter what I say?" James smiled and brought her into his lap, blankets and all. "I swear. I'm not going anywhere Lily."
Her arms tentatively came out from the blankets and wrapped around his torso, "Thank you." With that she laid her head on his chest, comfortably nestled in his arms, and went to sleep. James stroked her cheek, heart pounding.
"I love you Lily. I just hope you can return my love someday." To this Lily's arms tightened, as if to pull herself closer. James smiled and laid his head back. He didn't know that he and Lily would get steadily closer over the next few weeks, her recovering from her parents death.
He also didn't know that she would ask him to come to her parents' funeral with her. He didn't know that in a month's time they would be dating. Or that a year later they would be standing at the alter, taking their vows to each other.
No, right now all James knew was that he would never forget this night for the rest of his life.
The End
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