Hay guys, just was in the mood to write this, so I did! lol! I might turn it into another AU if anyone likes it. Very angsty thats why its rated as M?

Anyway enjoy?

I can feel their eyes boring into me as my hand sink slowly into the soaked sand. I didn't look up, I remained silent and waited. Then one by one they turned and went, even Kate had turned her back on me. No wonder, they all think I've lost it. I might as well have. I watched for a while as the others all disappeared into there tents and shelters, slowly retiring for the day.

The sting across my face was all to fresh, but the sting in my heart felt worse. I had betrayed Claire. But Aaron was in danger, I was sure of it, yet no one will believe me, they all just turn their backs to me. I can't be bothered to get up, even as the sea begins to lap up to my jeans soaking them I don't get up. Why should I, no one cares, I might as well curl up and die. Locke had no right, I knew I would get a lecture or something but I wasn't bloody expecting that. I couldn't be bothered any more, what was the point in this. Everyone I had come to know and love over the past month had turned their back on me. I wasn't a junkie, not anymore. I decided to eventually retire to my tent and laid down on my bed. I didn't want to sleep, every time I closed my eyes the dreams would come. So I stayed awake until dawn, until people began to get up and I could hear movement and voices down the beach. I didn't want to look out, for all that would happen is that eyes would be on me. I think even if I curled up in here and died no one would care. It would just be one more sodding ex druggie, ex rock star dead. Maybe I should have died back when Ethan hung me. All I could think about now was Claire, and that she would trust me anymore. Anyway, why should she care about me anymore, she's got Locke now. There was something about that man that I didn't trust but I couldn't place my finger on it. One minute he wants to help me, the next he's punching me and taking Claire away from me. Maybe that's all he wanted all along, Claire.

I rolled over onto my side and stopped. A large piece of shiny metal was staring at me in the face. I laughed. It was one of Locke's knifes, he had lent it to me ages ago but I had never given it back.

I slowly picked it up, marvelling at the shine of it. I ran my finger down the edge and it sliced neatly into my finger. For a second it hurt but then I felt relived, I sudden release. Whatever happened to me I deserved. I laughed again slightly, maybe what I thought about earlier should happen. Maybe I should die. I turned my wrist to me and placed the knife on it, I could feel the coldness of the steal. Then I dragged the knife across, applying a large amount of pressure. My body felt light again, just like it did when I had just had a shot of heroin. I took the knife with the other had and did the same to the other wrist. I felt better now, I didn't care if I died. I looked closely at both wrists and watched as the blood flowed down and onto the sand. I smiled. No one will find me till later. My head suddenly felt light and airy. What a wonderful feeling I thought. I laid slowly back down and closed my eyes. I could feel the warm red substance pooling around me as I began to lose consciousness and the sound of the sea began to fade into the distance.

"Charlie?" I could hear my voice being called, "no" Was someone shouting at me or was it a dream, I couldn't tell. Oh well, someone will find me later.

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"Charlie?" Jack look hesitantly into the tent and froze at the sight which met his eyes. "no" he shouted falling to his knees at Charlie's side. He grabbed his wrists in haste and held them up. Grabbing one of Charlie's shirt from nearby he wrapped one wrist in it and then the other. "Don't do this to me Charlie" Jack tied two large bits of fabric around Charlie's arms as a tourniquet and lifted him off the ground. He had to get him back to the hatch sharpish, Jack could see he had lost a lot of blood. He had no time to loose.