Author's Note: I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody or the characters Zack, Tapeworm, Cody, or Esteban. I do own all the other characters. Well… sort of. The people in this story are sort of real… well, the toddlers are. Well, you'll get it. Read and review, please.

"Dude," muttered Zack, glancing at Cody. "How did we get here again?"

A girl wearing a pink frilly tutu rushed past Cody. Cody flinched. "We're helping Tapeworm, remember? We're taking them to that water park that just opened."

"Oh," Zack looked down at his feet. "How many cousins did Tapeworm have again?"

"Only four," Cody said, turning to look at his brother. "And they're not his cousins—they're his nephews and nieces."

"How does he have nephews and nieces already?" Zack wanted to know.

"He has like three older sisters, remember? They're all like twenty something already, and they have kids! Now, let's go help Tapeworm."

The twins approached their friend, who looked more stressed than usual, running his hand through his dark hair. He looked like he was going to go crazy, not that that was unusual for Tapeworm, but he looked even more distressed than Cody and Zack were used to.

When Tapeworm was aware of the twins standing next to him, he looked up. "Oh thank God, it's you. You can help me now."

"Yeah." Zack stopped, looking at his friend. "Esteban's outside. Why did we need Esteban again?"

"Someone needs to drive them over there," Tapeworm said, explaining breathlessly as he grappled with one of his nephews. "I mean, unless you can drive."

"Oh," Zack looked thoughtfully skyward. "I get it."

He stood there for a minute, but was attacked from behind by a small kid wearing a yellow suit. "What?"

"Alex!" yelped Tapeworm, jumping at the kid who had now knocked Zack to the ground and was jumping up and down on his back. Tapeworm fastened his arms around the kid's torso and pulled him off, dropping him to the ground.

"What was that?" Zack asked breathlessly, bringing himself to his feet. "There was just a flash of yellow and…" he trailed off as he watched Tapeworm struggling to pull the kid off him.

"I guess…" panted Tapeworm, who had now successfully managed to yank his arm from the kid's grasp. "I better introduce you to my nieces and nephews."

"Would you mind pulling this one off me?" asked Cody, who was looking frantically down at the girl in the tutu. She was holding hard onto his hand.

"Fig, come on," Tapeworm said exasperatedly, grabbing onto her sticky hand and pulling her to the center of the room. "What did I tell you about that?"

"He's my prince," announced the girl.

"This is Fig," Tapeworm said tiredly, pointing at the small girl. She had dark brown hair, which was rather long for such a little kid. Her brown eyes were interested and full of light as they darted around the room. She was wearing a frilly pink tutu and a pink top to go with it, along with a pink tiara. "She's Vanessa's—you remember Vanessa, right? Well, Fig's her daughter. Don't ask me about the name… Vanessa always liked fruit for some reason. One thing about Fig," his voice dropped to a whisper. "She thinks she's a princess, and if you say she's not, then you're in trouble. And she chooses a prince like every day, so I guess it's Cody today. I've been declared the knight, so that means that Zack's the jester."

Fig pulled her hand out of Tapeworm's grasp and ran over to Cody, hugging him hard around the waist. "You're Prince Charming. I love you."

Cody grimaced, looking at Tapeworm. Tapeworm shrugged. "Hey, I have to deal with it about every week, ok?"

"Kiss me," demanded Fig. She puckered up her lips and stomped her foot on the ground. "Kiss me right now."

"Yeah right," muttered Cody, looking away. "Ow!"

Fig kicked him hard in the shin, and Cody bent down to hold his throbbing leg. "What was that for little girl?" He looked at Tapeworm, hoping that he'd punish his niece somehow. No luck in that.

"This," said Tapeworm, pulling the kid in the yellow suit into the room, "is Alex. He's Janie's son."

"I'm not Alex," retorted the kid, slapping at Tapeworm's hand. "I'm not! I'm Pikachu!"

"Oh God," said Tapeworm, slapping his hand wearily against his forehead. Zack and Cody had never seen him look so exhausted. "Yeah, ok, Pikachu."

"Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon!" Alex chanted, running around the room in circles. "Pikachu!" His blondish-brownish hair poked out from under the top of the suit with his distinctive black-tipped yellow, pointy ears, and his green eyes were full of excitement. "Pikachu!" Without warning, he ran up to Zack and started belting out a song at the top of his lungs.

I wanna be the very best, no one ever was.
To catch them is my real test,
to train them is my cause.
I will travel across the land,
searching far and wide.
Each Pokémon to understand,
the power that's inside.
Pokémon! Gotta catch'em all!
Yeah you and me.
I know it's my destiny, Pokémon !
Oh, you're my best friend,
in a world we must defend! Pokémon !
A heart so true.
Our courage will pull us through!
You teach me and I'll teach you.
Po-Ké-Mon, gotta catch 'em all!

"Do I need to mention what he thinks he is?" asked Tapeworm, arching an eyebrow at Zack who was cowering away from the powerful volume of Alex's voice.

"No, I think I've got that," Zack said, flinching, afraid of what would come next.

"Yeah, ok. This," Tapeworm continued, pulling another kid into the circle, "is Ty."

Ty had blonde hair and hazel eyes, which were distorted by a pair of huge round black glasses which had scotch tape all over them. His hair was annoyingly long, as in the way where little kids have long hair at too young of an age. A jagged scar was drawn on his forehead, looking like Magic Marker. He was carrying a broom and waving a stick around, yelling, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

"He's Alex's brother, younger by about a year," continued Tapeworm, not seeming to notice the stares that Ty was attracting from Zack and Cody. "He thinks he's Harry Potter."

"I never would have guessed," said Cody through gritted teeth. Fig was still trying to kiss him, and he feared opening his mouth.

Ty waved his wand and a spark came out of it, almost hitting Zack who dodged. There was a loud snap and the wall behind Zack had a huge black mark on it that was oddly smoking.

"What was that?" Zack said, his voice shaking.

Tapeworm hadn't even flinched. "Janie's a bit rich. The toys she buys Ty and Alex. They're real. Just be careful."

"Pikachu!" exploded Alex, pressing a shocker. Zack leapt up about a foot in the air, and collapsed, fanning his smoking rear end.

"See?" Tapeworm arched an eyebrow. "They're real." He pulled the last kid over to him, who had been biting Cody's leg. "I'll be watching Rose today. She's Samantha's daughter."

Rose had light brown hair and green eyes, resembling her cousins, and she smiled, revealing a set of sharp-looking white teeth. "I'm a dinosaur." She was wearing a green suit with spikes jutting out on the back. "Be careful. I bite."

"She's not kidding," warned Tapeworm, showing them a bloody hand. "Be careful. Anyway, you've met all of them, how about we get in the car with Esteban now?"

"Hey, where are you parents anyway?" Zack wanted to know.

"They went to have a reunion with their daughters, so I'm baby-sitting," Tapeworm answered shortly, pulling Rose's head off his arm where her teeth had been ferociously ground in.

"Ok," muttered Cody, who was trying to free himself from the grasp of Fig, who now demanded that he call her "Princess Fig." Zack was holding the sticky hands of Alex and Ty, afraid to be shocked again. Tapeworm held hard onto Rose's hand and all of them headed out of the house and towards the driveway, where Esteban lay waiting and unsuspecting.

I got all their permission, I swear. Well, except for Rose, but I'm sure she wouldn't have minded—I asked her, but she didn't get back to me and this story was so fun to write, I had to do it. Review for an update please.

-Finn