Troubled Treasure Hunt in Hazzard
The scene begins with a shot of the General Lee racing down the road the twelve notes of the Dixie horn blaring.
Balladeer: Good evenin' folks and welcome to Hazzard County. If Y'all were wonderin' that there stockcar is the General Lee. Those two good ol' boys drivin' the General are Bo an' Luke Duke.
The General makes a jump over a creek Dixieblaring again in the background
Bo and Luke: YEEHAW!
A police car is suddenly seen chasing them with its sirens blaring and lights flashing
Rosco: Oooh I'm gonna get you Duke boys! Come awn Flash we're in hot persuit khyee khyee. Oh I love it I love it.
Balladeer: That there is Sheriff Rosco, and his dog Flash.
Rosco hits the jump and makes it
Rosco: Woah, we made it Flash Khee. Now lets go get them Duke boys.
Bo: looks behind and sees Rosco following. Hey, Rosco made the jump for once.
Luke: Think you're losing your touch cuz?
Bo: I don't think so. We'll lose him on Old County Road.
Rosco picks up the CB
Rosco: All right you Dukes, pull over so I can arrest ya!
Luke: Now Rosco. You know we ain't done anythin' wrong.
Rosco: Hush. You just hush Luke. I know you're running shine.
Bo: Rosco. We promised the government we wouldn't run shine anymore, and we haven't since we got put on probation you know that.
Bo and Luke: Bye Rosco.
Bo puts the pedal to the metal making the General disappear leaving Rosco in a cloud of dust. Rosco loses control and spins out and crunches headfirst into a tree.
Rosco: They've gone and scuffed my car. Oh I'll get them Dukes.
Rosco picks up the CB
Rosco: This is Rosco P……. Coltrane calling my little fat buddy. Ya there Boss?
Boss: Don't you "Little fat buddy" me Rosco, did you get them Dukes for shining?
Rosco: I lost 'em Boss, they outsmarted me again
Boss: You'd lose your head if it weren't attached to your neck. Rosco, forget the Dukes for now. Get back here to the Boars Nest you dipstick. I've got some important business for you to take care of.
Rosco: Khyee khyee I'm gone little fat buddy
Balladeer: Now I don't know 'bout y'all but when boss says somethin' is important business, its either bout money or savin' his hide. Ya also know trouble's not far behind. After all this is Hazzard. Stick 'round now y'all, this is bound to get interestin'
Bo and Luke are in the General and have heard everything Boss and Rosco said on the CB
Bo: I wonder what Boss is up to.
Luke: Whatever it is, it ain't good. We aught to warn Uncle Jesse that somethin's afoot.
The General speeds off towards the Duke farm. Meanwhile the scene changes to Boss Hogg's office in the back of the Boars Nest.
Boss: Now look here Rosco. I've got a plan to get rid of the Dukes fer good.
Rosco: Ooh a plan, I love it I love it.
Boss: Rosco hush you dipstick and pay attention so this will get into your small head you numbskull. We're going to frame the Dukes by…
Boss then proceeds to whisper in Rosco's ear. Rosco mumbles to himself as Boss tells him the plan
Rosco: ooh… compass…. confiscate… frame 'em…. oooo khyee khyee Oh Boss that's brilliant, see that's smart. I love it I love it.
Boss: Now dodo brain go get the you know what from you know where. Oh and Rosco take that dipstick deputy with you.
Rosco: I'm gone. Oh I love it, come on Velvet Ears we're in hot persuit on an important mission in order to get them Duke Boys.
Balladeer: Any of y'all got a clue what's goin' on? Me either, let's see what the Boys are up to.
Back at the Duke farm Bo and Luke are chopping firewood while Uncle Jesse is feeding a lamb. Daisy is at the Boars Nest
Jesse: So yer tellin' me J.D Hogg is up to no good again?
Bo: Yes sir. chop
Luke: That's right Uncle Jesse
Jesse: Yer just gonna need to be careful these next couple days. We don't know what J.D. has in mind, but we do know it ain't good.
Bo and Luke: Yes Uncle Jesse.
Balladeer: Now back at the Boars Nest, Miss Daisy is doing some investigation. Even though she don't know it yet.
Daisy is waiting tables when Rosco and Enos walk in carrying a small package.
Daisy: Howdy Rosco, care for a drink?
Rosco: Uhh… umh No Daisy Duke I don't got any time for anythin'. I'm on duty anyways, got important business fer Boss.
Daisy: Hey Enos.
Enos: Hey Daisy. How's Uncle Jesse and the boys doin?
Daisy: Fine
Rosco: Enos!
Enos: Sorry Daisy, we got important business with Boss. We need to get this here special compass to Boss all secret like.
Rosco: Enos you dipstick! Get over here.
Daisy: Bye sugar.
Enos: Bye Daisy.
Two strangers walk into the Boars Nest and have a seat at a table. Daisy sees them and walks over to them.
Daisy: Howdy strangers, what can I get for ya?
Biff: If'n yeh could get us two beers it would be much appreciated.
Alan: This is our first visit to Hazzard Miss, we're looking for an old friend from the marines. He mentioned he lived in Hazzard. Since we was in the neighborhood, we thought we'd try an' find him. You might know him. Do you know where we might find Sergeant Luke Duke?
Daisy: Luke? Yer lookin' for Luke? I definitely know Luke, he's my cousin. I'm sure he's be mighty happy to see old friends. I'll se if I can reach him on the CB. He could get here and see y'all soon.
Biff: That'd be mighty courteous of you Ma'am. We'll wait for him right here.
Daisy goes over to the CB and calls for her cousins
Daisy: This is Bo Peep calling the Lost Sheep. Lost Sheep you got your ears on come back?
Luke: This here is Lost Sheep One, what can I do fer ya Daisy?
Daisy: There are two fellas here at the Boars Nest who know ya from the Marines. They'd like to see ya Luke. They seem mighty anxious.
Luke: We'll be there in two shakes of a lambs tail. Lost Sheep over an' out.
Daisy goes to the counter and gets two beers and then goes back to the strangers
He'll be here in about twenty minutes
Alan: Thank you miss.
Daisy then goes about waiting others
Alan: I'll see if I can go and get it from that over stuffed marshmallow. I know his crooked Sheriff brought it here. Then we can go through with our own plan.
Balladeer: Somethin' tells me he ain't goin' and getting' a bowl of grits. Now ain't the time to go to the fridge, stick 'round now y'all.