Disclaimer: I write for the sole purpose of entertainment. None of the characters belong to me.
AN: OneShot. This was orginally written for my 'short story' class project. Sorry in advanced for all grammatical errors.
Sakura grasped onto her wrist tightly. The blood was flowing steadily with no means of stopping; a few drops landed on the plush carpet beneath her. Then it happened, the searing pain shot through her arm. She exhaled sharply and just for that moment, everything was forgotten; her troubles, her frustrations and her life. She was in bliss, and for once in a long while, Sakura was content. Memories raced through her mind. She closed her eyes effortlessly letting them fill her.
(1- How It Began)
She knew she shouldn't do it. She knew it was dangerous. But this was her last resort; her last chance of freedom. The few who knew about her condition told her it was a phase. 'Stop hurting yourself Sakura.' But their words were empty. They held no feeling and no support. Why? They didn't understand. Perhaps it wasn't even that, they just didn't care. So soon, Sakura gave up. She gave up on them; her friends. She was alone now, having only herself to depend on.
Actually, Sakura wasn't always this way; she was once labeled a 'prep'. Her clothes were always the trendiest and her flaws were rarely visible. She was 'perfect' and she was envied. She always knew the latest gossip, spread the nastiest rumors and hung with the largest crowd. Many simply adored her and those who hated her, wanted to be her. So what went wrong? Everything.
She tried so hard to be who others viewed her as. She concealed her problems from the world. Nobody knew she was beyond perfect. Nobody knew of the issues she faced daily. Her family-no, family loved each other. They were her parents. Ever since her mother had a miscarriage, they'd become money-crazed. In attempt to forget the loss of their beloved unborn child, they worked numerous hours a day. In fact, they were rarely home. It wasn't as if they needed cash, inheritance was enough to last them a few lifetimes. But as long as Sakura brought home straight A's, they couldn't have cared less. On many occasions, they showered her with money and objects. But what they didn't realize was that she would have rather given up everything she owned for their love and time. Too bad it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
Sakura had enough of it. She didn't want to play this 'game' anymore; the game of her life. It was only a few weeks back when she had begun her transformation. She had begun to think. Her life was a game of charades. It was play or be played. Power was everything. As long as she had this, she'd continue to rule her school. It wasn't a simple job knowing there were few who could turn on her at any time. What would she be without her group? Just another girl. She had tried so hard to stay away from this position when she realized; she couldn't have cared less. How would these people even impact her later on in life? And so, she was tired of being hidden behind a façade. It was time to show the world who the real Sakura Kinomoto was. Nobody would stand in her way, nobody.
(2-Just Another Day)
She glanced at her clock. 3:57 AM. The numbers were red and bold. They seemed to be mocking her. It was hard for her to sleep lately. Her thoughts never ceased. Worries and frustrations invaded her, corrupted her, and she never once had a moment of peace. Her eyes narrowed at the small numbers. There were still a good few hours before school.
Sakura reached for her iPod sitting on the nightstand beside her. Immediately, she felt a sense of relief. Music was one of her few escapes from reality. It was the portal that brought her into a world of serenity. The comfort she received was beyond explanation and she loved it. Browsing through her playlist, she stopped at the first song that caught her attention; Everybody's fool – Evanescence. With a soft click, she closed her eyes and listened to the lyrics she had already memorized. It was ironic how much she related herself with the song. It was practically about her. She was never herself, she was everybody's fool; a person who others wanted her to be.
- Later that morning -
There was an incessant banging at her door. Oh joy. She looked at the clock once more, shocked to see it was already 7AM. She stood up slowly as the impatient rapping continued. Who else would it be?
"Sakura, open the door this instant!" It was the she-devil herself. It was becoming a routine. Each morning, her mother would arrive at her door.Sakura would deliberately slow her pace towards the door just because she knew how impatient her mother was. Eventually, she'd open her door to face the screeching woman before shutting it, tightly.
She took in a deep breath and counted down in her head. 5 … 4 …Sakura opened the heavy wooden door hesitantly … 3 … 2 …- "Good morning mother." However, her mother was not a happy camper. Her face was abnormally red and in her hand was a slip of paper. Oh, it was that. Sakura leaned against her doorframe preparing herself for a lecture.
Her mother bristled.
"What the hell is this Sakura? How could you even possibly get a B+ in Geometry?" She waited for her to reply but Sakura stood indifferent.
"I bet you're doing bad things out there aren't you? That's why you're straying from your work! Who is it that's distracting you!" Sakura rolled her eyes.
"It's just a one-time thing alright? I'll make it up next trimester or whatever." But her mother wasn't satisfied.
"There are absolutely no excuses Sakura, none. You're grounded. No parties, no 'hanging out', absolutely nothing for a month until you bring that sorry excuse for a grade up."
Perhaps any other person would tear and beg for forgiveness, but not Sakura. She looked horrified for a moment, just to see the smug look on her mother's face.
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Sakura replied calmly; "Go to hell Mom." She instantly slammed the door closed and locked it. Heading towards her private bathroom, she thought, 'Thank the lord for the person who invented sound-proof walls'.
(3-The Speedy Knight)
Sakura clicked a small remote in her hand as the doors to her newly bought convertible flashed to life. She'd only turned 16 a few days ago but nonetheless, her parents had gotten her a car for her birthday. She backed out of the driveway and drove through the suburban streets of Ohio. Her school was only a nice 20 minute drive away.
Her car came to a halt at a red light. Sakura was never a patient person herself. Seeing the road was clear, she ran the light. It was illegal, yes, but the thrill she received was worth so much more. Feeling exhilarated, she drove faster. She arrived sooner than she'd intended and pulled into the school parking lot. Darn, now she'd have to face those friends of hers.
Immediately, they spotted her and began jogging over. If you could call it 'jogging' that is. They ran with the utmost delicacy, as if their shoes would be marred and destroyed just by touching the ground. Sakura rolled her eyes this time, although her friends were too concentrated on her car to notice. "Wow, we love your car Sakura." She nodded nonchalantly and glanced down at her new watch. Her face lit up slightly as the bell rang. "Okay, time to go!" She left before they could say another word.
- Later that day -
School was becoming a chore now. She was tired of sucking up to teachers and being a model student. It was her last period class already. The day had gone by fast. Now, she had Geometry. How had she ever received that B? Oh right, attitude. She could never stand that grouch anyway. "Sakura, pay attention in my class!" It wasn't as if she liked math to start with. She never understood those concepts. Ms. Grouch was glaring at her now. "Whatever."
"I won't tolerate attitude in my classroom, Miss Kinomoto." Sakura stood up with her belongings in hand. She strode confidently to the door as a mass of students giggled and hooted around her. As she opened the door, she spoke, "Aren't you going to give me detention again?" Sneering, she continued, "Yeah right." With that, Sakura slammed the door behind her, of course not before flipping her teacher off.
So she left early. It wasn't as if Ms. Grouch would even dare to contact her parents. Her parents were easily the largest donators to the school. So when it came down to money or an easily replaced teacher, she knew it was no competition. 'The things people do for money' she thought grimly. In her car, Sakura glanced down at her wrist. There were a few scars. One thing she'd learned was that the scars never faded, even when they'd completely healed. They served as reminders of what her life had become and what she wanted to achieve.
She took a different road home today. It was one she hadn't been on before, but she'd most likely find her way. A distance away, she saw the road was blocked and mentally groaned. Then she noticed it wasn't by the police, but by a crowd. They were cheering for something. She saw a few blurs zoom by, motorcycles? Curiosity soon took flight as she parked her car safely and joined the crowd.
Some people were holding fan signs. Sakura rolled her eyes at them. 'Pathetic', she thought. They were cheering at the top of their lungs. She could hardly hear what they were screaming, but it was unmistakable.
"Go Syao, you're the best!" Who was this 'Syao' figure anyway? A hooded figure approached the crowd and they grew impossibly louder. Maybe this was him?
When his hood was lifted, the mass of fans gasped, even Sakura. He had unruly brown hair, possibly dyed. It was a look that only he could pull off. His amber eyes twinkled as he winked. The girl before him immediately fell to the ground as her legs gave out. Oh yes, this guy was hot. Perhaps Sakura could have thought of a different word, but when she saw him, her mind seemed to form incoherent thoughts.
Sakura held her breath as he stopped before her. She'd caught his eye. Just for a moment, time froze completely. Perhaps it was her white highlights that had caught his attention. Whatever it was, she'd never know. What she did know however, was that this guy was something different; the something different that she needed in her life.
"Hey." A smirk graced his face and she felt her knees wobble. Oh god, his voice was like an angel's. Itwas too perfect. It wasn't too deep, but it was masculine. Her voice seemed to fail her, as did her legs. She blushed embarrassed at herself as she began to collapse, much like the other girl had. Sakura closed her eyes ready for the impact but opened her eyes to find herself in the arms of her savior; the speedy knight.
(4-The Door Chimes)
His name was Syaoran Li. He was 18 andbeyond rich. Being the sole heir to the Li Clan,Syaoran held unbelievable power over the community and probably all of Japan. No, it wasn't an exaggeration.When he had first brought her around his home, Sakura was amazed. Even with her own background, what she saw wastrulyunexpected. There was no other word to describe the size of his home rather than a palace. Sakura swore she could be lost for days in there and he had laughed at her. He raced motorcycles as a hobby and he was definitely talented, or so his collection of trophies had told her. He claimed he had never lost a race. Sakura told him he was an arrogant asshole but he had only responded with a childish smile before tackling her onto his carpeted floor and tickling her. After that ordeal, he had finally shown her his collection of motorcycles. Sakura couldn't even begin to count how many he had. She felt a tap on her shoulder and abruptly broke out of her trance.
"Would you like to order anything?" The waitress was visibly irritated.
She was thinking about him again.
"A sprite please." The waitress nodded, walking away stiffly. Sakura swore she heard 'Damn rich kids. They're freakin spoiled.'
Normally, Sakura would have said something. But for now, her thoughts were preoccupied.
They had been hanging out a little over three weeks now since they met at the race. Sakura couldn't seem to get him out of her mind. Syaoran emitted a 'bad boy' type of vibe and it was true. He didn't take attitude from anybody and many felt inferior around him. But his grades were near perfect and nobody knew how he pulled it off. There were rumors of him bribing the teachers, or even threatening them. Who knew? He was The Syaoran Li. He was the mysterious guy that had captivated her at first glance. She sat absent-mindedly, twirling the straw in her newly-arrived soda. He was definitely a new experience. Sakura had even found out about his past; the past that had caused him to grow cold to others around him. Though Sakura didn't really have all the details about his life, but he'd let her known enough; enough to know he was the kind of person who'd never admit his feelings and did as he pleased. And she liked him just as he was.
Since they became friends, Sakura could admit she was much happier. Even though her parents continued arguing about money and her friends had found someone new to worship, Sakura hadn't cut herself again. There were multiple times when she considered pulling out the knife she kept hidden in her drawers, but then she'd think of him. He was her shining ray of light in her diminished perspective of life. 'It's almost like a fairytale', she thought. She looked out of the restaurant window to see a small child hopping along the sidewalk. A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. Perhaps he could help her, support her. Perhaps he could be there for her when she'd finally become who she wanted to be. Maybe, just maybe, he would be her special someone. Her heartbeat quickened at the thought and she fought the blush that was beginning to heat her cheeks. She wanted to be more than friends.
When the doors chimed opened, Sakura turned to look at the source of noise. Her blood grew cold and she felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. It was Syaoran, but he wasn't alone. Latched onto his arm was a pretty brunette and they were laughing happily.
(5-Her Mistake)
The band-aid on her wrist was so tight; she saw her crinkled skin beneath the clear plastic. It probably wasn't bleeding anymore. Sakura glanced around quickly to make sure she was alone; the halls were deserted. Hastily, she pulled off the day-old band-aid and gasped in pain; it stung. Her wound was still fresh and threatened to spill at any slight movement. Covering her arm quickly, she headed towards the front exit. Her mind involuntarily drifted to Him. Sakura had tried hard to avoid Syaoran. Since she had seen him that day, she didn't know what to think. Tears sprung to her eyes almost instantaneously at the possibilities. She glanced down at her wrist. Her heart twisted painfully and she felt her body grow numb. Sakura felt betrayed; by the one person she thought she could trust.
Cutting herself had been a great relief the other night. She drowned out her sorrows as the liquid fire flowed from her. But the ache in her heart returned faster than she wanted it to. She cried herself to sleep. Sakura shook her head of her thoughts and pushed open the school doors. A small breeze instantly swept by her and she closed her eyes. The weather was nice. The sun shone brightly atop of her head, but she couldn't seem to bring herself away from her current mood. Her breath came out in a hiss when she noticed a red sports car in the distance, the distinct candy-apple red he had had professionally painted. It was unmistakable. It was Him. He was waiting for her. Her stomach lurched and she stumbled a few steps back. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to face him now, she feared it, feared what he would tell her. Would he admit he was seeing another girl? Would he act like it was nothing? She didn't want to know. Turning back, Sakura pulled the door open swiftly. She would go through the back doors. Luck must have been against her today, because he had already seen her. Oh hell no, she wasn't avoiding him again. Syaoran pulled out his ignition keys and followed after her.
- Inside the school -
Her white streaks were instantly recognizable. Not many people had them. He liked that about her, she was unique. Sakura was walking speedily, almost to the point where she was sprinting. He didn't like the idea of her running away from him. But her petite form was nothing compared to him and so he had caught up silently behind her within a few minutes.
"Why are you running from me Sakura?" She froze. She turned around slowly and he instantly noticed she was trembling.
"I-I'm not…" Her voice was shaky.
He leaned against the wall, waiting for an explanation. Sakura knew he wouldn't buy such a stupid reply. She didn't move and became painfully aware of how quiet and still everything seemed to be.
"Why've you been avoiding me?" he repeated once more. There was a pause. She was hesitant.
"R-Really…I-I've just been really busy lately."
Syaoran was never a patient person. His expression remained stoic, but it was obvious he was angry.
"Stop screwing with me!"
Sakura flinched the slightest bit and turned away. But before she could take a step, he was already beside her. He grabbed her wrist causing her to wince. Her body grew rigid and she attempted to draw away from him. His hard look softened immediately. "What's wrong with your wrist?" When Sakura didn't reply, he lifted her sleeve. She did not try to pull away this time but instead she looked away ashamed. Syaoran was mentally shocked at his sight. The fresh cut that had just opened up was bleeding slowly, but was appalled him were the multiple scars she had. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening. "C'mon, I have a first-aid kit in my car."
- A few minutes later -
They were sitting in his car now in complete silence. He was working gently on her wrist. He stopped the blood flow, carefully bandaging her with the least amount of pressure he could muster. His mixed expression of concentration and worry was absolutely adorable. She couldn't help but giggle. It was then Sakura felt everything would be okay between them.
When he had finished, he sat stiff in his seat and looked out his window.
"So were you ever planning on answering my question?"
Before Sakura could stop herself and actually think, she blurted out, "I saw you with another girl." He looked at her incredulously, so she continued.
"At this restaurant, Raspberry Delight I think, I saw you come in with this brunette latched onto your arm like-."
He laughed. His laughter rang through the once soundless car. Sakura bristled, looking absolutely livid. How could he be mocking her at this time? She took a deep breath and turned to leave the car with what little dignity she still held, but he took hold of her arm, gingerly. He was careful not to touch her wrist.
"That was my little sister." Sakura reclaimed her seat in shock, her eyes widened. "Oh." It was the only reply that came to her mind.
"You were jealous weren't you?" She could tell he was smirking at her. The infamous Li smirk. He didn't wait for her to answer however, because in the next moment, she found herself in his arms again. "Now tell me about your cuts." And she did.
(6-One Phone Call)
They were officially together. Sakura had told him everything that day and he accepted her. She had felt safe and secure in his arms as she wept and told him her story. He comforted her and promised her that everything would be okay. He would help her rebuild her life anew and she believed him.
Tonight, Sakura sat alone in her large house. Syaoran had a family dinner to attend to tonight so he couldn't be with her. As usual, her parents were gone; to work most likely. Things hadn't changed much between her and her family, but she had gradually begun to care less and less. She sat in her bedroom with a pint of vanilla ice cream, reminiscing about all that had happened in these months. It had been 9 months since she first cut herself; it had been 6 months since she first met Syaoran; and it had been 5 months since they were together. Her life had gone uphill since then. Sakura felt her heart soar with thoughts of him. Today was their anniversary and he had promised he would drive by and visit her later in the night. Her hand subconsciously reached up to feel the promise ring he'd given her and she smiled. She was excited to see him.
Her moment of tranquility was broken when her cell phone rang. Sakura instantly bolted from her spot. She glanced briefly at the clock; it should be Syaoran calling at this time. She was surprised to see the number was hidden. "Hello? Is this Miss Kinomoto?" The voice was foreign and tinged with grief.
Sakura's grip on her cell phone unconsciously intensified, "Y-yes? I-I'm Sakura Kinomoto." Her voice was shaky, and she didn't know why. She had a sense of dread growing in the pit of her stomach. "Are you the girlfriend of Mr. Syaoran Li?" the mysterious man continued.Sakura nodded her head even though she knew the caller couldn't see her. "Y-yes" She took a deep breath, calming her nerves. He continued solemnly, "We found a picture of you two in his hand, so we thought you should be contacted." The next few lines hit her like a ton of bricks. "Miss … your boyfriend … he was in an accident." Sakura froze, anticipating every word. The man continued hesitantly, "The man driving the truck was drunk. Both cars were driving at a good 80mph, at least. During the collision, both drivers were killed instantly." Sakura dropped the phone.
(7-Realization)
It wasn't like every other time. It was painful now. The same burning sensation coursed through her arm. But this time, the pain remained forever etched in her heart. Her wrist was not the only thing bleeding, but her heart was too. Her heart called out for the one she loved most, but her loved one was dead. Sakura clutched her wrist so tightly; her knuckles were turning white. But the bleeding didn't stop. Her ruby-colored blood was rapidly leaking now. 'Syaoran is dead.' Her mind seemed to repeat the three dreadful words. She let out a brief laugh. It was hollow and full of pain. Unknown to her, tears were leaking from her dark lashes.
She felt herself weakening and found it was getting harder to breathe. Sakura looked down at her wrist and noticed the small pool of blood that had begun to form beneath her. She wasn't feeling the usual comfort from cutting. Her body ached and her head was spinning. Sakura knew what was happening to herself but she didn't care, not anymore. When she could no longer bear to look at herself, she reached for the promise ring around her neck. The warmth was gone; Syaoran, her everything, was gone. Sakura glanced up at the ceiling; the previous glimmer in her eyes had completely faded. "Mom's going to kill me for staining her carpet." she whispered to no one in particular. With a bitter smile, she felt herself descend into a world of darkness.
Finis
Epilogue-
Her cell phone rang continuously, but no one answered. She was there moments ago wasn't she? The man bit his lip nervously when her message came up.
'This is Sakura Kinomoto. I'm not here right now, so just leave a message! Thank you!'
He abided her message and decided to leave her a message. He desperately hoped she was one of those people who checked their messages constantly.
"Um...Sorry Miss Kinomoto, I made a huge mistake. Mr. Li isn't dead. He was brought to the hospital in critical condition though, so we all pray he lives through this. I hope you receive this message, Miss, I'm truly sorry."
AN: Regarding the questions about her death. Unfortunately, yes she died before she got the phone message. Poor girl. Fate works its own ways.
Personally, I adore this story. I worked long and hard to think ofa plot and had to plan weeks in class before typing it out. Just for fun, I'm currently considering re-posting the story in an extended version that actually shows each part in many details. This will remain up. Let me know what you think! - Edited April 24th, 9:29 PM
Until next time,
Descension.