He supposes he understands why Dean doesn't like to talk about things. Almost wishes he could do the same. Close your eyes and cover your ears.

((peek-a-boo))

Wishes he could bury his thoughts deep, maybe in a capsule, deep underneath the ground. He tilts his head as Dean shifts in his sleep. Wishes Dean would open his eyes.

((olly, olly, oxen free! i give up dean. where are you?))

Maybe if Dean opens his eyes then he will see that Sam stays up every night and watches him. Because he can't watch him in the day. Dean doesn't like the staring.

((dude if you don't quit staring at me i'm gonna dump your ass right here on the side of the road))

That's okay, really, because Sam doesn't like what he sees sometimes.

((right dean, sorry dean))

After the first few nights, Sam realized that this ritual of avoiding sleep to stare at Dean was a little weird, even for him. So he alternates every once in a while. Sometimes, he stares at the mirror. Tries to see what Dean sees when he looks at him. When Dean looks at him.

He's not being bitter. He thought he was, at first. He couldn't even identify what it was that he was feeling, until he realized that he was searching for flaws that Dean might see.

((i don't like this))

((neither do i, dude, these fries are crap))

((realizes that dean doesn't know that he's not talking about the food and, instead of correcting him, puts on a look of disgust and agrees about the fries))

Deans so blissfully ignorant about some things. Sam wishes he could be ignorant.

((star light, star bright))

Wishes he could ignore the visions that force their way into his brain.

((first star i see tonight))

Maybe if he acts a little more like Dean, things would be easier.

((i wish i may i wish i might))

Wishes Dean would stop pretending to be asleep every night.

((have the wish i wish tonight))