Author's Note: Well ladies and gentlemen...this marks the end of this little story. I certianly hope that you've enjoyed reading it. I know I had loads of fun writing it. And thanks to all of your wonderful encouragements, I think I'll be writing some more House fiction sometime soon :o) A quick note...I've changed the rating for this chapter due to some language. Again...Thanks to all of you wonderful folks who left me comments. Well...until next time guys...and without further ado...
"How do you feel about me?"
Oh shit…she has to be kidding?
His eyes, which had been trained expertly on hers, dropped down and away from her penetrating stare. Suddenly he couldn't even bear to look at her.
Of course! What? She couldn't have picked something a little less intrusive to ask me?
But logistically he knew, that this was Allison Cameron he was dealing with…forever optimistic, hopelessly romantic to the very end…Dr. Allison Cameron!
The war was raging within him she knew. If she was right…if her instincts hadn't misled her…then she already knew that she meant more to him than he'd led her to believe. And if that were the case, they might potentially have a real chance here…if he had the guts to admit it to himself…and to her.
"If you can look at me and honestly tell me that you don't have feelings for me…that you really are what everyone else thinks you are, just a miserable bastard…incapable of feeling anything except bitterness…then I'll never bring it up again." The quivering resonance in her voice betrayed her tough exterior, "If you can tell me that, then I'll accept our date for what it was and we can move on as friends…or at the very least pleasant professional colleagues."
Pleasant professional colleagues…? Like he could ever pretend to be anyone's pleasant professional colleague! Least of all hers…
He was quickly beginning to feel like an ass all over again he realized.
Slouching over his cane he stood lamely, as slowly, calmly and without any hint of discomfort she asked of him one simple question, "What do you want?"
Standing before her he knew, that even if she was only half as strong on the inside as she appeared to be on the outside…he appeared an emotional infant in comparison.
Another long moment of silence hung between them.
What was so difficult about this?
He didn't know.
He couldn't speak.
She waited expectantly…hopefully…and he stood, unable to even meet her searching gaze.
In another sharp instant she resigned herself to the likelihood that she'd have to accept the silence. Wincing back the tears she could feel coming she nodded sadly. She wouldn't let him see her cry! He didn't deserve the satisfaction…nor did he deserve to know that he had this much power over her!
She slowly turned away from his still form; with one step, then two the physical distance between them grew…and that was to say nothing of their emotional distance.
"…Allison?"
The gruff timbre of his voice broke through the deafening silence. She was sure that she'd imagined hearing it…that was until she heard him declare, "I don't want to be your friend!"
She turned then in complete astonishment; and surely she was startled to discover that now he was looking straight through her.
"You don't?" His best attempt at an answer was to the shake his head in disagreement.
"What do you want?" She was careful to weigh the appropriate amount of optimism she would allow him.
"Look…" his eyes were on hers, the space between them was still too great however. He stepped into her again, "it's been a long time since I let anybody in."
"I know," she told him. And suddenly, Wilson's warning came flooding back to her. "I know it's not easy for you."
House nodded at her solemn acknowledgement. Somehow, something inside of him always told him that he could entrust this part of himself to her, "At dinner…you quoted your favorite psychoanalyst."
Unable to mask her confusion at this sudden turn in their conversation, she smiled through her curiosity, "Yes."
"You remember what you told me?"
"Of course…I said that you're cruel to me to hide fact that you're attracted to me…" Honestly, the thought of it now was a little embarrassing.
He nodded his affirmation, "I bit your head off that night with some mean-spirited diatribe cleverly designed to avoid your question."
"I remember," she nodded quietly. Through her quiet acknowledgement Cameron confirmed what he'd already known…he'd hurt her that night.
"Well, you were only half right."
"Sorry?"
"I'm a miserable bastard to you most of the time to hide the fact that, despite my better efforts to suppress it…I care…more than I should, about you."
Pleasantly shocked into silence, Cameron couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth upon his admission.
"And the rest of the time?" she posed.
The look she found in his eyes conveyed a deep emotion that she'd thought him incapable of. She was nearly paralyzed by their steely-blue intensity as he limped closer toward her…he was within arms length of her warmth. From his new position he made no attempt to resist the electricity between them, but neither did he make any further advances toward her.
"The rest of the time…I'm doing it to hide the fact that you scare the hell out of me," in an instant he couldn't bear to look her in the eyes any longer. "For some reason that doesn't make any sense, you can see right through me. Even when I think I've got you all figured out Cameron…I figure out that I know even less about you than I think!"
Damn-it! She's got me actually talking about this!
House lifted his arm and absently ran a hand through his hair, a move that was easily interpreted by Cameron to be an incredibly endearing gesture. Once again he finally looked up at her, and this time he was surprisingly shy, "…This used to be easier."
Suddenly he felt so inexperienced.
"House…" her voice drew his attention, "This isn't some moony-eyed teenage fascination. I know we'll have our work cut out for us. But I'm willing to risk it." Then more tenderly she added, "I just want to be with you."
"Yeah well," humbled though he was, his self-depreciating tone returned, "…you'll eventually come to your senses."
"I know what I'm doing," she affirmed.
"I seriously doubt that," he told her solemnly. Then more quietly he added, "…and selfishly I hope you never figure that out."
Well she supposed that would probably be the closest thing she'd get to a declaration of love from Gregory House…at least for now.
"You're not going to hurt me are you Dr. Cameron?" While his words were delivered with a tint of sarcasm, they belied his vulnerability underneath. She quickly recognized the importance of being honest with him.
"Never intentionally," she answered. "But I am after-all only human. I'm bound to say or do something stupid eventually. You'll just have to trust that when that day comes...the last thing I would have intended was to hurt you."
"Likewise," he nodded in agreement. He smiled sardonically then, "You know…I won't make this easy. It won't be intentional…but I am hardwired to be difficult."
After-all, it only seems fair to warn her going into this…whatever this was.
"Yeah well, I always knew that being in a relationship with you would have its fair share of challenges." The small smile that pulled at the corners of her lips only grew at the insinuation, "I suppose we'll just have to learn to trust one another."
"Yeah well baby steps Dr. Cameron. Baby steps…" he was quick to caution.
That drew laugh out of both of them. Soon they were smiling warmly at one another, and each of them was becoming ever more aware of their growing anticipation. And strangely, as they stood across from one another, neither of them was sure who would be the first to invite intimacy.
Although House was fairly sure that she expected him to make the first move.
Swallowing down his fear, House made the first leap. It was probably only fair considering that up until now she'd been the first one to say the scary words.
"Come here…" he beckoned softly, gruffly. And although it was admittedly awkward at first to hear him tenderly summon her into his arms, she went eagerly…anxious for many more moments like these. Awkwardness be damned!
Before today, Cameron had always imagined House to be an attentive lover, despite his standoffishness to the average person. As he wrapped her in the warmth of his arms, their solid support anchoring her, she beamed in her recognition of that truth. It had been so long since she'd been held so intimately by a man…she'd forgotten how wonderful it felt until now.
The overwhelming sensations that poured over House as he held her tightly into his chest were surprisingly welcome. In fact, he came to understand all too quickly that he'd denied himself the comfort that only she could bring for far too long. Greedily inhaling her scent, House couldn't help the tender smile that he felt forming over his lips when she gently pulled away from him to stroke his stubbly cheek.
They'd never been this close before.
"So…what do you think Dr. Cameron…" his voice came out much softer than he'd intended, but he was too perfectly content to mull over it now. "…You want to give this dating thing another shot?"
Her answering smile was more than genuine…it was all too inviting. "Hmm…well I suppose that depends. Are you going to try to sabotage it again?"
A deep throaty chuckle escaped him, but not before he quirked an interested eyebrow. "I'll try my best to be good this time."
"Well, in that case you've got a deal…on one condition!" she added teasingly. He could easily come to enjoy this playfulness about her he decided.
"Somebody's suddenly confident," he observed. "Already making demands I see…well don't get too confident," he cautioned. "Because the first fluffy pink teddy bear I find emasculating my manly bachelor pad meets an untimely death."
Her bright smile was a beautiful sight to behold in and of itself, but when combined with the knowledge that she using it on him…it was down right intoxicating.
"When we go out…we go somewhere that you're comfortable," her tone left no room for debate. "No more false pretense or elaborate dinners because you think that's what I want."
Interesting request
"You should know by now House…I'm capable of a lot more than just mindless chit-chat at some fancy expensive restaurant."
"Right…" he considered, "Any other tips? Because something tells me that I'm not likely to get a third first date if I royally fuck this one up too."
She giddily laughed aloud at his brilliant assessment; and before she even gave him the chance to accept her terms, she stopped him with another giddy glint in her eyes. "Oh! And one more thing…"
"Good Lord woman! You are high maintenance aren't you? I had you pegged for eager, but even I never dared consider pushy."
Through her teasing smile she told him, "Wherever you take me…you're driving…with the top down!"
"Aww…look at that," he swooned, "…a woman after my own heart…"
"Yeah well…that's the plan."
And finally she ended their quiet suffering as she wrapped her arms around his neck and expertly joined their lips in a heated embrace. He smiled against her then as he eagerly devoured the warmth of their kiss.
Yep! This was getting better all the time…
So whatd'ya think? Is it what you were expecting? Does anyone want an Epilogue? Please send me your thoughts :oP