Disclaimer: Don't own.

Author's Note: Er, it's been awhile...I suck? Ok, I've had to stop myself recently from deleting this story out of anger with myself. It was recently brought to my attention that all this time my title hasn't even been capitalized! I admit, that my grammatical skills were weaker when I started this story, but Jesus, even then I knew to capitalize a title! What the hell was I thinking?! Jeez, it's a wonder people even read this story, I wouldn't...ok, done ranting. I'll probably do major editing on this story in the future. On side note, longest chapter yet. Please enjoy and much love.

TillThatTime.

Warnings: If you don't know this is slash by now, I'd suggest help.

Worth It?

It was the light from the window that woke him.

It broke through the curtains that he had pulled tightly shut and fell across his face in a most annoying manner. He held his eyes tightly shut, as if contemplating whether or not to full acknowledge the fact that he was indeed awake, before letting out a sigh and cautiously opening one eye to squint through the invading sting of light and peek at his alarm clock.

Seven o'clock.

There was no avoiding it.

Time to get up.

With a groan of pain he placed his hands on either side of his chest and began to slowly push himself up, his eyes still squinting through the morning haze as they fought to adjust. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, being careful to avoid unnecessary contact with his bruises, he stifled a yawn as he stood and began to make his way towards the bathroom.

This was normal.

A morning routine that he knew well. A reluctant awakening, a morning piss, shower, brushing the teeth, combing the hair, normal, normal, normal. It was like this everyday, and an almost reluctant smile made its way across his face as he acknowledge the fact that even when the world ends, some things stay the same.

However, no act of mundane normalcy could quell that ball of dread that formed in the pit of his stomach at the thought of actually going to school. Being at home was one thing. He didn't have to worry about the cold stares here, but at school it was different. They didn't have to love him there, and they could turn their backs on him in an instant. In fact, they already had.

It was surreal to think about it really. To be so, for lack of a better word, popular in school, and in one instant be transformed into the outcast. To be ostracized for defending someone. Troy was often called a hero in school- though reasons for it were usually something as petty as winning a basketball game- and weren't heroes supposed to protect people? Weren't they supposed to stand up for the things they cared about? Had the definition changed so much from the days of the comic book Superman, so that now when you punch someone who is picking on the innocent, you become the villain? Well, of course, when the innocent is disgusting in the audience's eyes. At East High tolerance was never something apparent in the hallways of the stereotype-based school. The school fell into despair over a basketball player auditioning for a musical. Armageddon must be approaching if homosexuals are allowed to exist without a little compensation.

No, Troy was not looking forward to going to school.

However, he pulled his keys from his pocket, kissed his mom goodbye, and got into the car anyways. The ride to school was filled with many exasperated sighs as Troy attempted to psych himself up for the walk towards his own personal guillotine. As he made his way up the steps at the front of East High, he avoided eye contact with everyone around him. No one approached him, just as he had suspected. He still had enough respect left not to be openly ridiculed, but no one exactly jumped to wish him "good morning" either, and the whispers that surrounded him were deafening. As he walked through the doors, his heels tapping against the cold tile, his eyes sought only one other's.

Ryan.

He scanned the small space almost fervently before his eyes landed on ice blue. There he was, leaning against his locker, a nervous smile gracing his pretty face. Troy swallowed the all too apparent lump that had formed in his throat and making a quick decision in his head, he began to walk resolutely towards Ryan.

His hands shook.

As he stopped in front of Ryan, he noticed the slightly shocked expression on the smaller boy's face. Troy had never really approached him in public like this. Troy noticed the way everyone around him fell silent as they watched the pair as intently as a pack of hyenas eyeing a freshly killed carcass. God, didn't these idiots have anything better to do than pry in on other people's lives?

Apparently not.

Troy's eyes scanned the floor as he seemed to consider something. When he finally spoke after some hesitation, his voice was low and probably unheard to anyone but Ryan.

"Ryan, I...I-fuck- I want to walk you to class." He rushed out, obviously nervous. Ryan's eyes widen for a second, before a soft smile slid into place.

"Troy, don't worry ab-"

"Dammit, Ryan, I'm walking you to class." Troy ground out in slight irritation. Ryan wasn't sure whether to comfort the boy or feel slight amusement at his obvious discomfort. Instead he opted for a simple answer.

"Alright." As they began the descent towards Ryan's first period side-by-side, Troy tried not to notice the stares. He had made this decision, because he decided it wasn't worth trying to hide anymore. He wasn't ready to tell people that he and Ryan were...whatever they were, but he was going to show them that Ryan was his friend and that that wasn't going to change. He owed Ryan that much. Shit, but his damned hands wouldn't stop shaking.

"You didn't have to do that." He heard Ryan whisper beside him.

"Yes, I did." And after that they continued on in silence.

The rest of the day passed in the same fashion, but as the hours wore on, Troy's resolve began to crumble. Gabriella wasn't even at school, and Troy found himself immensely relieved as he found something else that he could put off until he was forced to deal with it. However, the rest of the school might as well have not been there either. No one really approached him or attempted to make a conversation with him, but there were not insults either. Troy almost wished there were. At least people would acknowledge him then. Teasing and angry words had to be better than being completely ignored, right?

"Sometimes you do it just so people will notice, and then when they finally do, you wish that you had just kept on drowning instead."

Ryan's words rang in his head, and he found it bitterly amusing how much those words meant now. No, after seeing the result of humiliation, maybe it was better to be ignored.

But he couldn't stand this anymore. He didn't know how Ryan did it everyday. It had only been two days for him and it seemed like it was already starting to eat him alive. He needed to get out of this place. Get away from the stares. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't strong enough for this. Opting to skip his last block, he rushed up the stairs towards the only sanctuary in Hell.

As he pushed open the door to the bathroom he had grown fond of in the past months, he made his way over to the sink, splashing cool water against his skin that had suddenly become uncomfortably hot. As he let the water run down his cheeks, he lowered his head and braced himself against the sink.

Would this get any easier?

Was it even worth it?

Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even hear the sound of the door opening behind him. He didn't notice the other presence before a very male chest was pressed against his back, and pale arms wrapped around him, until fingers intertwined with his own. He jerked his head up, His eyes finding blonde hair in the mirror, before locking on blue eyes. He stiffened, the thought of someone walking in flashing like a warning signal in his mind. But he forced himself to relax as he reassured himself of the likeliness of that happening.

"Ryan, what...?"

"I saw you bolt upstairs, figured you were coming here." Ryan said softly, his hot breath ghosting across the back of Troy's neck, before soft lips were placed lightly against the skin there. Troy didn't know why he did it, and he wasn't aware of it until it actually happened, but before he knew it, his breathing was coming out ragged and harsh and his entire body began to shake. The tears didn't fall, because he refused to let them, but they were there, burning his eyes, and blurring his vision.

"Ryan, I can't handle it, I cant-I can't-I can't." Came the mantra, as Troy shook his head, his expression lost and broken like a child's. Ryan's hands squeezed Troy's tighter before releasing them and bringing his arms up to wrap around Troy's torso. "I'm not strong enough."

"Yes, you are Troy." Ryan attempted to reassure as he continued to leave feather-light kiss against the nape of Troy's neck.

"No, not strong enough for this. Not strong enough to look them in the eyes. Nor strong enough to tell them I don't need them. And I'm sure as hell not strong enough to mean it." His breathing became harsher as he fought to hold on to some form of dignity, the disgust was apparent in his voice.

"Shh Troy, it's ok, it'll be ok." Ryan felt Troy turn abruptly in his arms, until he was face to face with the other boy.

"Will it really, Ryan, are you sure?" Troy asked, not even attempting to keep the desperation out of his voice. Ryan's hands came up slowly, almost shyly, until he was cupping Troy's face gently in his hands. His eyes searched for something for what seemed like an eternity, before he spoke.

"No, I'm not sure, but if you're not going anywhere, and I'm not going anywhere, does it really matter?" At Ryan's words Troy found himself biting his lip, contemplating whether or not to do something he suddenly had the urge to do. Making the decision quickly before giving himself anytime to think, he leaned down clumsily, his lips crashing into the side of Ryan's own mouth.

Dammit, now he couldn't even kiss properly?

Ryan stared at him wide-eyed, before his eyes softened and he leaned up towards Troy. He firmly grasped Troy's chin in his hand before murmuring "idiot" and placing his lips tenderly against Troy's own.

It was soft.

Like velvet.

Not like a kiss with another man should be.

The lips moving slowly against his own were softer, gentler, fuller and sweeter than Gabriella's had ever been. Was that even possible? This kiss was different than their previous two, and for awhile Troy found himself content to just rest his lips against Ryan's.

But then he felt something wet run against his bottom lip, asking almost politely for entrance. Troy didn't get the chance to hesitate before the polite tongue was replaced with teeth that sunk into his lip. A gasp was ripped from him and Ryan took this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into Troy's mouth. The muscle was not demanding as it searched around the hot cavern, and as it ran along the other, it invited it playfully to participate in their little game. The moist muscles slid against each other languidly. This was not a competition, this was a dance.

Troy wrapped his arms instinctively around Ryan's slight waist as he decided to begin the battle for dominance by pushing Ryan's tongue out of his own mouth and into Ryan's. He smirked against Ryan's lips as he heard and felt the soft mewl that came from Ryan's throat and he gripped the waist in his arms tighter. His triumph was short lived, however, as he felt Ryan began to suck suggestively on his tongue, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin in retaliation. God, where had Ryan learnt to do that? Troy, couldn't stop the soft moan that fell from his lips to be lost in between their connection, and he felt his cheeks redden instantly.

Time seemed to slow down as the kiss drew to a close, the need for air being apparent. A soft nibble of teeth on his lower lip and one last brush of lips against his own and they parted, albeit, reluctantly. Both were breathing harshly as Ryan ran a finger idly over Troy's quickly swelling lips. He noticed the dazed expression on Troy's face and couldn't help the small snicker that escaped him.

"That good, huh?" He was trying to sound smug, but there was no mistaking the need for reassurance in his voice. Troy didn't even bother with a witty retort.

"Yes, that good." Was his only reply before threading his fingers through Ryan's soft hair and crashing their lips together once more. He noticed idly as the kiss deepened once again, that his hands no longer shook.

Was it worth it?

For Ryan?

Oh, hell yes.