A/N: Hi, everyone. I know it's been a really, really, REALLY long time since I updated. And there are a number of excuses for that. The best one, I guess, is that I've just been busy. High school is no picnic, and writer's block has kept me from going further with my story. But whatever you do, please don't think that because I've been gone so long that this story is not important to me. All the characters, Hazel and Hakim in particular, feel so real to me by now that it's like I didn't create them. I still find myself reading the old reviews you guys have sent me since I started this story, and your support definitely has made all the difference. Without you, the ideas I've held for so long within me would never have a chance to be expressed. I hope that my being absent for so long does not prevent you from falling in love with this story again.
This chapter is another one of my...in-between ones. It's important in a way, but only leads into the much more important things to come. Remember how in the last chapter I complained about not using all of Going Under, by Evanescence? Well, that is why this chapter is part two of that, and will also use the lyrics that I didn't get a chance to use before.
Also, I have one thing to say to some of the reviewers. I understand some of you don't like the song lyrics being added to every chapter, but considering the overwhelming support I have received for the idea, I've decided to continue it. It adds something different to the story, and seems to bring a dramatic touch to what the characters are dealing with. Some say it takes up space, but I say it's an integral part of the story.
Anyway, this is possibly the longest Author's Note I've written. So I'll stop talking and let you read. If some of you need to re-read the older chapters to catch up, DO IT. Everything that happens from this point forward is heavily influenced by everything that's been written so far, especially in the last few chapters. Happy reading. :)
Oh, and one more thing: This is going to be another chapter from Hazel's POV. So much of this part of the story revolves around what she's thinking and feeling that it seemed appropriate. Eventually, however, the tables will turn again, or I might just zoom out a bit and make another third person chapter. But that'll be later. For now, this is where my focus has to be.
Chapter 14
No matter what I did, my situation was becoming more and more desperate. How could Hakim possibly be marrying this girl? All this time I had assumed that he loved me. But who was I to think such a thing? He never said it...and I didn't either. Maybe in some strange way, I deserved this.
I spent more time out of the palace than inside it at that point. Mother needed me, and I knew that. But I couldn't stand being needed right then, not when I was so miserable. I was always walking around in shabby robes or old clothes, so that I would not be recognized while I was out on the street. Mother said that it was when she was out pretending to be a common citizen that she met my father. Small comfort at a time like this.
I had not seen Hakim within the walls of our city since the day we broke up, and I refused to go back to the hovel, since I couldn't even look at it without tears coming to my eyes. Mostly I just wandered around or shopped. What else was there to do in a boring place like this? I would rule Agrabah someday, and even I had to admit it wasn't really entertaining.
When I saw Hakim that day, it felt like magic. I was shopping at the time, trying to pick out a nice apple for Mother, and when I looked up, he was just...there. I could feel my eyes widen in shock, and my whole body started shaking. In an instant, I came to my senses and stormed past him. I could hear him following me as I walked faster.
"Hazel, I was your friend for sixteen years, the least you can do is talk to me," he said in a voice barely high enough for me to hear. Why did he have to say "was"? Did that mean our friendship was completely over? I couldn't find the words to respond, so I simply kept walking. He was so close behind me that I could hear his breathing. It was heavy, labored, frustrated. I liked that. It was so different from what I was used to that for a moment I could make myself believe that none of this was real, that I was imagining it all.
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies,
So I don't know what's real and what's not.
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore.
Finally he sighed and said, "Alright, fine. We won't do this here." And without warning, he grabbed my arm from behind and swung me into a deserted alley before I even had a chance to scream. I was pushed against the wall, and he stood over me so that I couldn't run. He was so aggressive then, more so than I'd ever seen him. But he was not violent. And somehow, he had not injured me at all.
"Now listen..." he began. "What you saw before...it didn't mean anything. It just happened. I don't know why, but Ishita's had it in for you since she came here. She must have known you were on the way when she...kissed me."
He blushed at the last part, which pissed me off even more. "And what about the wedding?" I asked in a voice I had to forcibly control.
His eyes were cast down in a guilty way. "That wasn't my idea. It's sort of...an arranged marriage. Apparently my parents have been planning it for years. You have to believe that I don't feel anything for her at all."
"How can I after what I saw?" My voice was getting louder now.
"I barely even know her, Hazel! And you grew up knowing my parents, you know what they're like!"
"That's your excuse for everything! You're 17, can't you ever stand up for yourself?!" We were both yelling now. All the anger I'd held in the past couple of weeks was exploding from the surface. Frustrated tears built up in my eyes but I didn't let them fall. I took a deep breath and leaned against the wall for support. There was still one question that had been in my head from the beginning, even before Ishita came. I couldn't help but ask it now.
"Hakim...did you ever love me at all?" My voice was so broken from trying to hold back tears, and my throat was aching.
He looked like he was about to say something, then stopped. He just...looked at me. For the longest time. Tears were forming in his eyes now, but he still hadn't said anything. That was answer enough.
"Right...that's what I thought," I said just as one tear finally fell down my cheek. I started walking away quickly. I didn't look back, and he didn't come after me this time. But I heard him screaming my name, calling for me. The more I heard it, the faster I ran, until suddenly I was home.
So go on and scream, scream at me
I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe,
I can't keep going under.
When I got inside, I quickly wiped away the extra tears that had fallen, and tried my best to make it look like I hadn't been crying. I went to my room and hid my cloak away so the servants wouldn't dispose of it, then went to see Mother. Her bedroom door was open, and she was sitting alone by the balcony, as she often did when she was tired or trying to think.
"Mom, are you okay?" I asked tentatively as I stepped into the room. "Where's Dad?"
"Genie took him out for awhile. He's been cooped up with me so much of the time, and he needed the fresh air."
I nodded in agreement. All Father did lately was worry. But after the scare I gave the two of them after my birth, I couldn't blame him. I sat down on their huge king - sized bed and stared at the city. I tried to lie to myself and pretend I wasn't looking for Hakim, but he was already gone anyway.
"How are you feeling today, Mother?" I asked, in an effort to focus on something other than how miserable I was.
"As well as could be expected, I guess." At that moment, she winced and clutched her stomach as if in pain. It should have been some kind of signal for me, but it wasn't. She had gone into false labor before, and these contractions didn't scare me anymore. I only became afraid when a strange, watery stain showed up between her legs. She seemed to realize it was something important, because she stood up, so that the circular stain was even more visible on her long nightgown.
"Hazel...I think it's time," she said as she quickly sat back down. Apparently the pain was so intense she couldn't stand up.
"Time for what, exactly?" I asked. It was a dumb question; I knew exactly what she meant, but just didn't believe it. She must have known that somehow, because she never really answered. I sat there, terrified. Besides the servants, Iago, Abu, and Carpet, the palace was pretty much deserted. Apparently my mother always had bad timing when it came to delivering babies.
Just then, Iago, Abu, and Carpet ran into the room. Like me, they all looked shocked, and a little afraid. Having seen my mother go through this the first time around, I guess they knew what was happening.
"Iago, please tell me you know something about delivering babies..." I said. I must have been pretty desperate to ask a parrot for help with something like this, but he was all I had.
"Kid, I'm a bird. I wasn't even in the room when you were born!"
"Well there must be something we can do."
"Get hot water! And something for Miss Mom-to-be to chew on!"
I tilted my head in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"
He fell to the floor in his annoyed, exasperated way. "I have no idea!" Abu looked down at him and shook his head, muttering things no one understood.
"If I run, I should be able to find a midwife..." I said feebly. But before I could even finish the sentence, she moaned even louder, and this one was almost a scream.
"There isn't enough time..." she said as beads of sweat began to appear on her forehead. "I think...you might have to deliver this baby."
My whole body completely froze. There was no way I could have ever seen something like this coming. What did I know about babies? From what I had heard, the whole process was pretty disgusting, but I didn't know all the details. It's one of those things a tutor tends to brush over when you're being home schooled.
"Mother, I...I can't," I said when I recovered my voice. "I don't know how..."
"Just follow my lead, and you'll be fine..." she said between contractions. "I can already feel him coming."
"How do you know it's a boy?" I asked, laughing a little.
"I don't know...I just have a feeling."
I could barely stand to see her in such pain. I knew it was natural, but I still cringed every time a contraction sent her into a spasm of pain. Finally, I stopped sitting there staring and helped her get to the bed. Instantly, her legs spread out across it, as I heard women do when they're giving birth. Without being told, I pulled her nightgown up to her hips. Remarkably, between the blood and slime and other things I saw down there...I did see a head.
And of course, that's when Iago panicked. "Eeeeww...I'm not staying around for this!" He got up and began to fly out of the room.
"Wait! Don't tell me you're not going to stay and help!" I yelled. This was the first time Iago's cowardly, selfish ways would affect me directly. Now I understood why my parents thought he was such a pain in the ass.
"Well, what do you expect me to do? I'm a parrot, not a midwife!" He started squawking in that horrible way that made my ears hurt. Now I was about ready to strangle him.
"Look, if you're not staying, at least make yourself useful. Iago, Abu, go wait for Dad outside, and let him know what's going on the minute he gets home."
Abu gave me a salute and said something in his monkey-gibberish that sounded like "Yes sir!" Then he pulled Iago out of the room and shut the door.
I ran to the adjacent bathroom and grabbed the first towel I foundThen I got back into position and draped it over my two hands like a blanket. I looked up at Mom, and her condition was only getting worse. Sweat poured down her face, and bits of her hair were plastered to her forehead. From the looks of it, the pain had not ceased at all. If anything, it had grown worse.
"Are you alright, Mom?" I asked.
"Fine, for now," she replied. "I'm going to have to start pushing."
"Go ahead...I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
I watched her face contort slightly as her whole body started pushing the baby out. I saw it moving within her, pushing downward inch by inch. I almost wished it would hurry up, just so she would stop screaming and moaning. But even then, it didn't quite sink in that this was going to be a real, living, breathing human being– my little brother or sister. For now, it was just one slimy mess with black hair on its head.
Finally, after a lot of coaching from me and a lot of yelling from my mother, we were near the end. Almost the entire body was out. It had come head first, but everything from the waist down was not visible, yet, so the gender was unclear. The whole scene had turned out to be much more gory than I could ever have imagined, and I spent half the time trying to fight nausea.
With one last push, the baby was out, and finally I could breathe again.
"It's a boy!" I screamed as he fell into my towel covered arms. I wrapped it around him to keep him warm and clean him off, then grabbled one of Dad's knives from the night stand and cut the umbilical cord. He looked like an alien at first, because he was so covered with slime and blood. But when I got past all that and really saw his face...he looked like me. And like Father. The second I was done cleaning him up, I ran to my mother's side and handed the baby to her. The pain and agony that had been on her face before were gone now, and as she held him, she seemed to be completely speechless. She cried, and I cried, but no words were ever spoken.
Time passed, and not long after Dad and Genie returned home. Iago and Abu had helped me in the one way they could manage, and had apparently explained the situation when he arrived. Dad looked crazy with worry when he first came in, but calmed down once he saw us. By now, Mother was lying comfortably under the sheets, with a radiant smile on her face and my little brother in her arms.
"Hello, Aladdin..." she said, her voice still soft and breathless. "Would you like to meet your son?"
He stood still for a moment, taking it all in. Then he walked over and I moved aside so he could sit next to Mother. She put the baby in his arms, and now he too was tearing up. He sat there for a moment, not saying anything, and just rocking him in his hands. When he did speak, his words could not have been more appropriate.
"He's beautiful..." was all he could get out as more tears fell. I had never seen my father cry before, but this was as good a reason as any to start.
"It's your daughter that deserves all the credit here," Mother said, smiling at me. "She delivered the baby herself.
Father looked over at me, shock written all over his face. "You, Hazel?" I didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered.
"Yes, me," I replied in a joking tone. "There wasn't anybody else around, and I had to make sure Mom and my new little brother were okay," I said as I ticked the baby's tummy, making him giggle for the first time.I looked at them all, and somehow sensed that they needed some time to themselves. Mother was exhausted, and we all felt emotionally drained in some way. I got up, excused myself, kissed my parents, and left.
When I got to my room, I cried for the second time that day, for a variety of reasons. My heart was broken and healing all at the same time. I was surrounded by so much love that day and yet I had never felt so alone, because the one person who I wanted, needed to be loved by was gone. And as far as I could tell, there was no way to get him back.
A/N: Wow, I can't believe I finally finished this! I started it last night and finished up the last part today. There was going to be more, but the little extra piece I was going to write is going to be the first part of the next chapter, which will hopefully be coming out really, really soon.
Also, since I haven't been on here for awhile, I just want to say I hope everyone had a happy holiday, and that everyone has a happy new year!
Bye for now, and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW:)