A/N: Thanks to Jokar for the rotating door suggestion. If you have any ideas for the fic, please comment with them. I'm running low... Oh, and a heads up, this contains an original character. I'M SORRY. I told myself I wasn't going to do it, but the stork this was too much fun to pass up.
To clear things up, that's not how Nevxes was really born. Shortly after Xehanort turned himself and the other apprentices into Nobodies, he realized something--His feelings for Braig(Xigbar) were getting in the way of work. So he created a device that would eject those feelings from his body--and this was done. Only there was one problem, it came to life. It was the opposite of a Nobody, it had a heart but no real body. So they threw it into the darkness, and instead of being destoryed it bonded with the darkness to create a heart of (almost) pure darkness. It created a body as well, that of a 17-year-old girl. She wasn't really part of the organization, which is why she never got a number. She closely resembles her "fathers," as stated here, except her skin is black. Not of African descent, literally black.
Now on to things you actually care about...
Oh, btw, the song is "Miracle" by Cascada.
So Xigbar and Xemnas has sex. Wait wait wait—let's start from the beginning. It was late one late night and Xemnas was late… I mean horny. Of course, being Superior he had many smexy bois to choose from, and one gender confused girl. But today he was in the mood for SUPER AWESOME SURFER MAN. No, not Demyx, you retard. I'm talking about Xigbar. That should have been obvious.
So Xemnas went to Xigbar's room. And they had sex. AND SUDDENLY! A giant bird rammed straight through the wall, hardly three inches from the window. It dropped a small package onto the bed and burst through another wall. Of course, on the other side of the wall was Xaldin's room. He seemed startled that a giant bird had interrupted his buttsecksings with Luxord, for some strange reason.
Xigbar was busily snapped photographs of aforementioned buttsecksins, wile Xemnas opened the package. "WTF." He said quite loudly, holding a tiny baby girl. He looked back at the birdy. "You know I'm a GUY, right?"
"Hey, I just deliver them." Said the Stork, and with that he flew away.
"AWWWW." Xigbar hugged Xemnas tightly, "LETS NAME HER SEVEN."
"That doesn't have an X in it." Xemnas pointed out.
"How about Nevxes, then?" Xigbar suggested, rocking his little bebbe.
"HAH!" Roxas burst in out of nowhere, clad in bunny pajamas. "One big happy family. Mansex, Bigrax and Sex-ven!"
"GO AWAY ASROX." Mansex cried, stabbing him with little baby Sex-ven, Mindless Self Indulgence style. I mean, Nevxes. Which is pronounced Nev-kes by the way.
Suddenly, everyone broke out into dance. Because the author is listening to too much Cascada. And on crack. "DAY AND NIGHT I'M ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE CUZ I KNOW, FOR SURE, MY LOVE IS REAL MY FEELINGS PURE!" Luxord screetched, off-key.
"I NEED A MIRACLE PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR GIRL GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SEE THAT YOU WERE MADE FOR ME!" Xaldin chimed it, screetching equaling as loud.
Meanwile, Xemnas was bleeding from the ears profusely. Go figure.
"MIRACLE!" The gambler and the wind-guy cried in unison.
…Next morning…
"XEMNAS." Saix cried, the second he laid eyes on the small child in the Superior's arms. "I th-thought we had something… r-real special…" He was crying now, literally, and secluded himself to a corner were he assumed the fetal position. Xemnas shrugged and poured himself some Wheaties. Cuz who doesn't love wheaties? NAZIS, THAT'S WHO.
"Don't you have to breast-feed the baby?" Xigbar asked, sitting down next to him with two poptarts and milk. Xemnas froze, spoon dropping into the bowl with a loud CLACK. "Uhh… sir?"
"Well!" Xemnas shoves the child into Xigbar's arms. "As the father, I believe YOU should be the one to ask number twelve if she wouldn't mind…" Standing up, he took his wheaties and fled the room rather quickly. Saix bawled noticeably louder.
…LATER…
"No." Larxene slammed her door two seconds after it was opened to reveal Xemnas and baby in the doorway.
"Wait! Larxene! It needs to be breastfed--!" He shouted through the door, whining incessantly. "I'll pay you! Just… HELP ME."
The door was opened again. "How much?" She demanded.
"Well………." Xigbar thought SO much that he used seven more periods than was necessary. "How about I get you transferred back to the World that Never Was?" Ever since Xigbar destroyed her bathroom three days ago, she had been requesting to go back to their homeworld.
"Done." Snatching the child rather nastily, she slammed the door, leaving Xigbar to wonder if this was counted as child molestation. Moments passed, and the door reopened. Larxene threw the baby back out, and it hit Xigbar in the head. He fell unconscious as lil baby Nevxes began to crawl down the hall.
Ignoring the fact that Larxene shouldn't be able to breastfeed and a 12-hour-old baby shouldn't know how to crawl, she continued on. Past several rooms, until she came across an open door. It led to Vexen's lab. Entering this, she came across Vexen, rather engrossed in his latest work. "JOOBIE JOOBIE." Nevxes cried, pulling on Vexen's cloak. Vexen, having not been informed of the child's arrival, was fairly startled. Lifting her up, he looked her over. She wore a teeny tiny little Organization cloak, and her hair was long silver say for two black streaks and pulled into a ponytail. On her forehead was stamped the word NEVXES.
"I wonder what your name is…" He pondered, looking at the tattoo. "I KNOW!" He cried triumphantly, "I SHALL NAME YOU… PINKYPOO!" Unfortunetly it was at that moment that Xemnas kicked the door down.
"WHERE IS IT!" He demanded, thoroughly pissed. Vexen let out an audible 'eep!' and handed the child over to his superior. His bad mood not lessened in the slightest, as he turned and stormed away. "Xigbar!" Kicking number two awake, number one continued down the hall.
"Yesshir?" Xigbar asked rather drunkenly.
"Throw this child into the darkness."
"But… but I named it! I named it Nevxes!" Xigbar whined, flailing his arms.
"I was there." Xemnas pointed out, shoving the bebbe into Xigbar's arms. "Now you can just call it 'dead'"
Despite Xigbar's whinings, Xemnas would not change his mind. So they tossed the child into a random conviently placed pool of darkness. And just when they thought they wouldn't have to change no diapers, the darkness spit the bebbe back out! Only it wasn't a baby anymores. It was a teenage girl, because that's plot convenient.
"Wtf? This story makes no sense." Xemnas said to no one in particular. "Even if two men could have a child, and it was capable of crawling, that doesn't explain why it just aged fifteen years."
"Yeah, but the author wants to introduce Nevxes in the simplest way possible. And make her a teenager." Xigbar shrugged. "This fic is written by Fragile X. Do you except it to make any sense?"
"Waaait…" Xemnas stopped and looked up at Xigbar. "If this is a fanfic, why hasn't Axel appeared? I mean, he is everyone's favorite anyways. You can't read Organization fanfiction without him in it…"
"True, true…"
…Elsewhere…
"MOTHER EFFER." Axel screeched, pounding on the side of the revolving door. Unfortunately a stick had wedged itself in the door, stopping it from moving. And Axel was stuck inside. Hahah, sucks to be him. "I NEED TO GET TO THE FIC!"
…ElsewhererER!...
"You know what this Organization needs?" Luxord asked his Superior. Nevxes had been allowed to stay at the Castle because that's also plot convenient, and all was well again.
"Suicide booths?" Xemnas grumbled.
"Nu!" He threw his hands into the air ecstatically, "OPEN MIC NIGHT!"