Disclaimer: So Here's the deal…I don't actually own the characters of The Chronicles of Narnia….Waits for shocked gasps …….I know, it shocked me too……so don't sue me, I am but a humble writer under the watchful eyes of C.S. Lewis….ahemmm…..moving on…..
Synopsis: ok, so everyone's seen those stories where a new girl comes to Narnia and she is skillful with a sword and is elegant and all that 'perfect' crap and she falls head over heals in love with Peter in like the first chapter? Yeah yall know what I'm talking about………Well yes, my girl Paige does end up coming into Narnia but that is where the similarities stop. She is completely unorthodox, absolute shit with a sword, slightly insane and a little clumsy …..and not to mention she can not stand Peter and he can not stand her. However, everyone one knows how that ol' sayin goes….enemies always make the best lovers! So read…I command it!……please…….
A/N: ok let me straighten a few things out before some people get on my case about it…….Paige is a present time girl… I don't know how that works, I don't pretend to know how that works….she just is…so kindly don't blame me for my own stupidity…….also, the descriptions aren't that great in the first chapter I am waiting to do that in the second chapter ………….yes there is cussing in this chapter and some people might not believe that there golden boy Peter would utter such obscenities but alas……he does…other than that…..please review…criticism is great… and flames are absolutely frickin hilarious…so I can take what you have to dish out and if I can't….hell, there is always therapy! Much love! Read on!
"Oh, God……..Oh God!" Were seemingly the only coherent words that would issue from the mouth of the extremely confused Paige Jenkins. This wasn't right. This whole situation was anything but right! For the love of God where was she? "That's the last time I try to hide in that closet!" She grumbled to herself and she continued to grumble such phrases as she looked around her new and extremely not closet- like location. As she took in her surroundings she noticed the numerous treescircling her, the glistening brook beside her and the vast clear sky above. Definitely not closet-like. "Oh God…" she said yet another time.
By this time Paige felt a little like crying and since she always followed her feelings she did just that. She promptly sat on the ground and began to sob out her woes to her heartscontent until finally that little voice in her head began to kick into annoying overdrive. Get up Paige and stop acting like a child, you need to figure this out. "Oh shut it! What do you know about it!" Great! Just great, now she was talking to herself like a ninny, bloody brilliant! So deciding to listen to the more logical side of herself and absolutely refusing to believe that she was indeed a lunatic she got to her feet and began to pace.
"Now there is a totally logical explanation for all this…..like how bout…I'm dreaming! That's it I'm in some terrible nightmare, where there are lovely trees, a warm breeze and a pretty blue sky- oh shut up Paige!"
Dreaming! Of course! It was such a simple answer. Now all she had to do was to wake up…but how to go about doing that? She began to pace once more until a brilliant idea came to mind. "I've got it!" and with that she promptly smacked her head against a tree.
After a few moments of lying on the ground she rubbed her throbbing temple and sat up "Ow, that hurt……that hurt?….oh dammit!" So that meant that she wasn't in fact dreaming. "Well this sucks…" she pouted folding her arms over her chest. She sat in that position for several minutes going over her options. She could, A, get up and try to find a way out of this God forsaken place or B, sit here crying until she inevitably starved to death. Though crying some more did have an appealing side, she wasn't really in the mood to die. So she got to her feet and dusted off her pants before traveling further into the land that she would later come to know as Narnia.
LATER THAT DAY
She had been walking for a couple of hours with no luck at finding a way out but really that wasn't bothering her as much as it did in the beginning. This place wasn't really all that bad. In fact it was quite lovely really. Why, with its full trees, rich, green grass, beautiful lilacs and daisies, handsome boy sitting under a tree asleep….wait, what the hell! Unbeknownst to the entranced girl she had accidentally stumbled upon a young man sitting under a maple tree with a book in his lap and a little drool running down his chin. Her instincts went into full over drive and she jumped behind a tree to hide herself from the otherwise incoherent man.
The rustling she made as she flew behind the tree woke the man who had been in a deep slumber (well not so deep if he could be awoken by some leaves rustling) and without even taking the slightest second to rub the sleep from his eyes he jumped to his feet and pulled out a long sword from the sheath around his belt. "Who's there" oh lord what to do? What to do? Paige began to wring her hands. This definitely wasn't good. Honestly, who carried a sword around with them nowadays anyways? What a freak! He's probably some homicidal rapist who likes to prey on girls just like me! (Funny thing about imagination really, if you let it run away with you it can turn you into a bloody idiot!) as if he could hear her the young man spoke again mustering the bravest voice he could " You had better show yourself, or you will regret it." nice threat, dumb ass Paige thought to herself. Ok best thing to do is just walk away from this situation all together. Setting one foot in front of the other she began to creep away from the alert man. However no sooner had she begun to walk away that the young man jumped right in front of her creeping form blocking her path of escape.
"Ha! Gotcha!" He cried in triumph. We'll see about that! in a moment of sheer panic Paige grabbed the nearest object to her (that being an apple dangling from a branch by her head) and chucked it at his head. Paige, having the bad aim that she did, of course missed terribly and hit his shoulder instead, but it did the trick anyway and the man clutched at his shoulder in surprise and dropped his sword in the process.
"Hey! What did you do that for?" In response Paige threw yet another apple at him. "Stop! That hurts!" Deciding to ignore his pleas of stop Paige continued to pelt the poor man with the seemingly never ending supply of apples. Until finally having had enough the man reached out and grabbed her wrists halting anymore apple throwing for the time being.
"I demand you let go of me at once!"
" Well I demand you stop throwing damned apples or I'll-"
In the middle of his warning Paige bent down and bit his fingers as hard as she could. The man cried out and immediately and let go of her wrists.
"Are you completely insane, lady!" He shouted as Paige began reaching for yet another apple. "Wait! No, stop, no more apples….please….I promise I wont hurt you." He said in the best calming voice he had, but remember that whole thing about imagination running away with you…..
"Oh right, like I am going to listen to a rapist!"
"A rapist? What! You are loony aren't you." Paige gave him a look of indignity and he took this time to take in her appearance. " And why are you dressed so strangely?" Paige looked down at her red converse, black jeans, red and black laced tank and black tie, she shrugged. "And what the hell is wrong with your hair?" True, she did have short,shag black hair with bright red highlights but what the hell was wrong with that!
"What do you mean I'm dressed funny? You're the one with the damned crown! What are you some kind of king?"
"High King to be exact." He replied shortly expecting her to come to her senses and realize just who she was pelting with apples. Instead she gave out a very unladylike snort and proceeded to laugh. It was the High King's turn to look indignant.
"And……I'm…… crazy!" She said between gasps of air. The tears of laughter clouded her vision so she didn't see the apple soaring at her until it hit her square in the gut. She immediately stopped laughing. She looked up to see that the man held a smug look on his face. With a cry like a warriors she lunged at the unsuspecting king and they both toppled to the forest floor in a fit of insults and curses.
" You insufferable little-"
"I'm insufferable! Lets not forget who threw the first apple!"
"Oh, shut up!"
"Don't tell me to shut up! Do you have any idea who you are talking to?"
" The king of totally-fucked-up land! Oomph! You are completely bonkers!"
"I'm bonkers? I'M BONKERS? I'm not the one dressed like a whore with a haircut like a man!"
Instead of saying anything back to this Paige just screamed in outrage and began to pound his chest with her fists. Now by this time both had realized that they had descended back into second grade, but upon realizing this they also realized that they really didn't care. They were far too pissed off at the other to be concerned with what was mature and what was childish. So the insults continued.
"Crazy bitch!"
"Oh? Why is you sword so big almighty king? Compensating for something?"
"Loathsome cow!"
" Cow? Is that the best you got your majesty!"
"Just call it like I see it!"
"I despise you!
"Trust me when I say the feeling is mutual m'lady."
Just as Paige was contemplating on whether or not to reach up and bite his nose, she heard a howling in the distance and both of them stopped struggling immediately. "What was that?" Paige inquired, and it took her a good ten seconds to realize that she was clinging for dear life to the man that not a minute before she had been seriously close to biting.
"Could you kindly let go of me, m'lady?" The king asked with amusement dancing in his voice. Paige immediately let go and the man stood up and brushed the leaves off his sapphire robes. That's when they heard it again, except closer this time. His expression turned quite serious then.
"We need to go…..come with me."
"What? I'm not going anywhere with you!" Paige said defiantly as she too stood up. The king just rolled his eyes and whistled and a horse emerged from the distance. When it reached them the man prepared to mount the white stallion (gotta love cliché) when they heard the howling once more, too close for comfort.
"You know on second thought maybe I will come with you." The man smirked as she said this and Paige decided to add. "Besides, I don't know about a pack of wolfs, but if it is just you and I, I do believe I can take you." He just glared at her then and offered absolutely no help as she struggled, to his delight, to mount the horse.
Finally when they were both settled atop the stallion they set off through the trees. "By the way, what is your name m'lady?"
"Paige Jenkins….and I am not your lady! And yours, High King?"
"Peter Pevensie"
"Well I would say that it was a pleasure Peter Pevensie but my mother used to wash my mouth out for lying."
"Well Lady Paige, you are quite full of-"
"Pip?" Paige offered, cutting him off.
"Well I was going to go with something a little less cheery but I suppose pip will suffice. So where are you from, Pip?"
"London." Paige answered shrewdly and then added "And don't call me Pip!"
"Whatever you say Lady Pip." he said snickering down at her. She rolled her eyes, and decided to ignore the remark all together except for digging her nails deeper into his sides as she hung onto him.
"So what's her name?" she asked referring to the horse.
"My name is Andrew." Said a voice that didn't belong to Peter but rather the horse itself. In response to this Paige took this as a lovely opportunity to faint.