Aiyaiyai. I haven't posted anything Beyblade in ages, I'm sorry! My only excuse is that life is pretty busy at the moment, and pretty soon I have a bunch of exams to do, so I can't imagine updates will get much quicker. Anyway, hope you enjoy:
It's still dark, but I'm awake. The clock says it's five o clock. Ages before I have to get up. So I can lie here and enjoy Tala without having him know about the deep and very embarrassing crush I have on him. We're having to share a bed at the minute, because the hotel didn't have enough free single rooms.
Sometime in the night he's managed to wriggle up against me, either that or I've wriggled up against him. I can feel his flesh next to mine, warm and smooth. I keep wanting to reach out and touch him, to run a hand up his chest, to stroke his hair. It's all over the pillow beside my head, messy and beautiful.
And awkwardly, awkwardly, I move my arm, the arm I'm lying on. Curve it over the pillow, letting my fingers dabble at the very tips of the strands of hair. I've always loved it. The way it shines, the way it flops around his face when it's wet...it's beautiful.
-He's- beautiful. And while he has no patience for the rest of the world, he always has patience for me. He'll blank the rest of the world, but he can't do that to me. I think I must be the only person who has ever seen him cry. Ever listened to his fears and worries. No one-else can do it, no one else wants to do it, and he doesn't trust anyone else anyway. It makes me feel like I really am somebody when Tala and me talk.
Because it's like he needs me. And he wants me around. On the days when I feel like the world hates me and all I want to do is die, there's always Tala. Sometimes he doesn't talk. Just sits down beside me and holds me. Sometimes he doesn't even do that. He doesn't need to.
I can't stop myself from reaching my other arm over his waist, fingers ghosting over his milky white skin. What must it feel like, in his dreams, to have calloused hands tracing patterns on his stomach? All those calluses, from writing, from training. But his hands have never been calloused. They're always perfect...slim-fingered, delicate...
It's funny, really. A lot of people assume Tala to be quite delicate- he's so thin- but inside he's made of pure steel. And if you end up on the wrong end of them, his knuckles are as well. He can be violent when he's angry, but I don't mind that. Being with Boris does that to you. And he can hit me a hundred times and it won't change to fact that he's my best friend. My only friend, actually, and sometimes more than that as well.
I don't think he realises that he's teasing me sometimes...leading me on, if you will. There are times when he makes it feel like he feels the same way about me as I do about him...that he likes me too.
But then I remember that he's Tala, and I'm ugly. Besides, he isn't...gay. I know it's childish but I still find it hard to say that about myself. We've been told for so long that to look at other men like I look at Tala is wrong that...it's kind of instilled. Sometimes I wonder what he'd say if I ever told him. Maybe he'd toss his hair back and tell me to get away from him.
Maybe he would toss his hair back and then kiss me.
The thought makes my insides turn to jelly, and the hand on his stomach flattens. His muscles tense and he shifts. "What did you stop for? It felt nice..." Oh God. Oh my God. He's awake. Oh my God. Shit. Shit! "Hn...time is it?"
"About quarter past five." My voice sounds normal...I hope. I move my arm hurriedly, blushing.
"What a sick time to be awake..." I try my hardest not to freak out and run away. He's awake. He knows I was touching him... But he just snuggles back against me, pulling my arm over his waist again and sighing. "I don't want to get up today."
"I know. It's nice not having Boris breathing down our necks..."
"Mm. I can't stand it." I shift just a tiny bit closer.
"I know. I know what you mean."
He turns onto his back and it feels like the most natural thing in the world to lean over him and kiss him. So I do. And...it feels so good. His lips are so soft... And they part, and...
I think I must be dreaming. No way in hell would Tala ever let me kiss him...he would kill me...
As I pull away, I can see he has his eyes closed. And then they open, chips of glittering sapphire eating into me. "Tala..."
"I always wondered." He's smirking. Oh God. I want the ground to open and swallow me up. I want to run away. I want to die. Please, don't let him laugh at me. I couldn't bear it. I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have dared to think even for a second that he could reciprocate the feelings I have for him-
Oh my God. Oh my God, oh God...he's kissing me. He's grabbing my shoulders and holding me closer and -kissing- me!
"You certainly took your time telling me you felt this way."
"I..."
"Bryan...I feel the same."
WHAT? My disbelief must be showing on my face because he's smirking again. "Why do you look so surprised? You're not unattractive, Bryan..."
"But...but I..." This is too much to take in. He must be joking. He has to be. "Tala...please don't joke. Don't play with me."
"I'm not, and I won't. Well. Not unless you -ask- me to..." He turns his back to me again, pressing himself against me with a sigh. "You're really warm, Bryan." I still can't quite believe this. I...it's just... "That was your cue to put your arm over me again."
"Oh." I obey. But I feel like an idiot. He seems to sense this, curling up and moving his arm so that we're holding hands.
"I'm glad you told me."
"I didn't say anything." I whisper, blushing. He yawns.
"You didn't have to. And I don't know about you, but we have an hour before we have to get up and I'm knackered. We need all the rest we can get to keep Boris off our cases for yawning during practice. So I'm going back to sleep. Morning, Bryan."
"Morning, Tala."
And before very long his peaceful snores are whispering into the air. I move my fingers on the pillow to stroke his hair again. It's so beautiful. So perfect. Perfect just like him...and just like we are now. It won't be perfect when we get up...there'll be life to contend with then...but for now...
Everything is perfect.
Fin
As always, please R&R!