Precisely two hours ago, a series of events unfolded before the Organization of Thirteen's very eyes. Events that would shock anyone, and leave you stunned and unbelieving to what ever else anybody ever told you about our beloved Nobodies and their current infamy.

"...The hell-?"

But, of course. With every story, comes that air of mystery that must be kept to keep you guessing until the very, very end. When the true intentions of the enemy are unveiled, and true terror strikes the hearts of fangirls and fanboys everywhere!

But, enough with the dramatic rantings of a not-so-narrator. The true events of the story shall unfold after this cut.I

do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own the other series which has somehow elbowed its way into this story. If I owned either of them, it would focus much more attention on the pretty gay villains. 8D

-----

"...Anybody else feel like they've been drugged, raped, and run over with a truck?" From under a pile of black suited bodies, a small, tired, obviously young voice spoke. A sea of black, a sea of complete nothingness and silence... Soon disturbed by grunts of effort and the complaints of various people's body parts sticking into their sides, or causing them a rather uncomfortable feeling as they were all far too close.

"Axel, get your hand off of my head."

"Hand... Head... No, can't be mine!"

"I can't breathe, TO THE X-TREME!"

"STOP SHOUTING IN MY EARS, XIGBAR!"

"Demyx, don't yell back at him."

"I think I'm sitting on Zexion."

"AH! XEMNAS' ASS, I'M BLIND!"

"...Xemnas's ass? Where?"

"Lexueas, move. Please..."

"...I pray that's a weapon poking me in the thigh."

"Test tube, actually."

"...Dear sweet Darkness, why did I hire you people?"

"...Can't breathe..."

Anyone who just happened to stumble into what most would assume to be the beginning of an orgy would have probably run away screaming, for Larxene was the first to free herself. In her rage, she lunged at Vexen who had, obviously, not had a test-tube in his outfit... And if he did, it was in a mighty odd place. This in turn dislodged Marluxia from under Axel and send him spiralling backwards, only to rise again and trip over Lexeaus, who had been standing up and assisting Zexion in standing, and sending both of them over to the other side of the room. Meanwhile, those not affected by the unfortunate chain of events let out a terrified shriek and tore off to the other side of the ship. All the while, Marluxia attempted to play referee between Larxene, the woman he admired and feared, and Vexen, the snotty scientist who he just happened to be sleeping with every other day.

...Yeah

the time the chaos had settled down and they'd all manage to treat their wounds from the not-so-orgy and the domino affect, it was the sudden, brilliant revelation that brought them all back to the control room of the ship and left them all gaping, shocked, and...

"HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET HERE?!"

It was a Gummi Ship, no doubt about that. One large enough for them all with several strange patterns across the wall, including a crescent moon, the symbol of their organization, and what Demyx pointed out to be several musical notes...

And, with no real surprise, a badly drawn penis appeared after Axel had managed to get a hold of a sharpie. And, well, several other rather bad drawings appeared afterwards... Though, a rather explicit and well done painting of two men in bed appeared after they'd all left long enough for Larxene to calm down and stop beating Vexen over the head with a broken bottle

"Look, we should be focusing on more important matters then what one can draw on the wall, or type on a calculator!" Waving a hand about with a dramatic flair, then looking back to Saix for help, only to find his unofficial second in command distracted by the drawing of the Moon again. "Oh for the love of Darkness! Aren't you worried that somebody stole our gimmick?!"

Axel lifted a fiery red eyebrow, leaning back against RRoxaswho attempted to shove his lazy friend off. "So? We stole it off of some retro anime from Japan... Or like, some Final Fantasy game."

Marluxia promptly smacked him. "Leave the fourth wall alone. It's been broken enough times."

Pouting, the redhead nodded and ducked his head. "Sorry."

The Superior groaned. "That may be true, but we don't wave it around or threaten them with it. WHO DARES TO STEAL OUR STOLEN IDEAS?!"

The assorted Nobodies nodded. Summoning various weapons and standing up in their seats, shouting war cries and threatens... Though, they were soon silenced as Saix turned his head and damn near screamed at them to shut up and allow XXemnasthe respect he ddeserved.

The would have continued on if the man hadn't summoned his terrifying claymore and gained that shadowy, demonic quality that most heartless would kill to be able to gain.

"Several hours of our memory are missing. We arrived in a mysterious ship that is most ddefinitelynot our property, and we were piled in a rather sexual position... it is not the fan girls from the various worlds we vvisited because we made sure to smite them and turn them into heartless... But what could it be?" The snowy haired man shook his head rising from his chair and beginning to pace about it, his eyes narrowing and features becoming darker.

'Really... What possible eexplanationcan be provided for this? It's horrible, it means that we have angered someone even more so then we angered Sora We seemed to have gained the loss of memories that he did, but we haven't been asleep for a year...'

----------

"I must ccongratulateyou, my wonderful Generals. You have done a wonderful job in locating beings powerful enough to destroy our enemy..."

The cold, deadly, female voice boomed across the dimly lit cave. The blue light pouring from a crystal ball was not enough to completely illuminate the sorry excuse for a living area, but it was the best that they could do without ruining their ominous appearance. The ssacrifiesmade to become a wonderful vvillianwere difficult, and often time consuming for it was damn near impossible to nail down the right effect.

"It was nothing, my queen." Four of the five mysterious figures droned, dipping into a low bow in unison. Too dark to see their features, but judging from their voices and various accents, the general comment was not to be taken too lightly.

"How will you further your plans?" The queen demanded, leaning over and smiling slightly as three of the four men retreated from the sight of her lowcut outfit. "And who should I send to destroy any in their ranks who are against our plans?"

"I will, my queen! They will not suspect me if I join their ranks!" The queen's eyes narrowed slightly, her gaze falling upon one of the still shadowed Generals who had risen from his bow and was now contently sniffing a rose, waving it back and forth in front of their shadowed face and smiling slightly.

"They would not suspect a girl, of course..." Another stated with a cruel smirk.

The other two snorted, covering their mouths to hide their laughter as they rose, ignoring the withering glare sent in their direction.

"...Fine, go. Report back every third day." Waving one pale hand, with hidiously long purple fingernails, she watched as the young figure dissappeared in a sea of cherry blossoms. "...We're making a scent free policy here soon."

-----

"...There is only once place that will ever give us the answers we need to solve this terrible puzzle." Vexen said after a moment, sitting in a small, dimly lit corner with bandages covering a good third of his body. "We must go to WONDERLAND!"

The other twelve gasped in responce. Xemnas twitched violently. Opening his mouth to protest, though Saix elbowed him sharply in the ribs and sent the skinny redhead falling to the ground, twitching and whimpering... Whoops?

Quietly, Zexion set the course, shaking his leg about to dislodge the drunken Demyx who was happily clinging to his leg. Twirly, whirly, whirly, woo! Hopefully he doesn't land on you! "Don't give him anymore to drink, Luxord."

Marluxia nodded, ignoring the homicidal glares that Larxene was casting at the still cowering scientist, slowly edging between them to at least block off the terrible glares.

"I... love you," sang the drunken Nobody as he crawled up to wrap his arms around Zexion's neck, nearly knocking them both off balance and sending them toppling to the floor... The collective awws of the group were enough for Zexion's cheeks to redden. "...CHEESE!"

...Oh boy.

----

"...Why did I have to come here again? It's stupid, it's gross..." Sighing, the once mysterious figure gazed upwards at the lowering sight of a ship. One hand had risen up to shield her eyes from the blazing sun. Slowly easing his hand through the wavy mess of tarnished gold that cascaded down her shoulders. The green hairtie had been abandoned in favor of a more feminine appearance. The usual outfit that she donned had been abandoned in favor of a tight fitting leather suit.

If you haven't guessed this yet, it showed nothing but a flat chest.

Chuckling slightly, 'she' jumped down from her perch on the hedge, plucking one of the still white flowers from the hedges as 'she' merrily bounced along to greet 'her' new 'teammates'.

...Soon, the ship had set down. Or rather, it had beamed it's riders down onto the ground. Each of them fixed 'her' with a shocked stare, though one or two of them seemed to be more keen on checking 'her' out then giving her a sharp glare.

"Who are you?" Xemnas demanded, his hands folded across his chest, looking ready to summon his weapons and attack the imposter.

"Me?" She spoke in a low, masculine voice. Not completely so, as it was tinged with a slight feminine charm. "My name is..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLIFFHANGER, LAWLS!

8D I dunno what else to type.