Spoilers: up until ch. 99

Yagami Raito muses on…stuff. And then all our nightmares come true.

For lapidary because she's the one who pointed out the name resemblance weeks ago, and just now, I'm like "……..HAHA I GET IT."

Um…I haven't read chapters 100 or 101 or 102 OR 103 because TOWNL needs to scanlate them and I'm too lazy to read the translations and look at the raws at the same time. Oh, well, boo on me.

So I guess if Near died in any of those chapters, wouldn't know how he died, or if he did, at all. And I will laugh so hard when he does (because we all know he will, deep down in our fangirly Deathnote hearts - because the author's just killing them off one by one).

The "what-if" scenario.

---

Yagami Raito grinned, horribly satisfied at the results of things.

In the Kira-investigation room, Raito was seated in his desk over there, that little secluded corner, he scanned the room with his barely contained smirk filled with his subordinates that deemed him their hero (all except for one- but that didn't matter, he was still God).

Raito chuckled again.

Matsuda, Aizawa, and Mogi all looked at his chuckling face as if to ask, are you insane? Is there something funny about our faces? Are you looking at us all with bedroom eyes? Well, in that case, let's all—

Oh no, Raito switched from his evi-Kira face to a more somber, downcast face (at lightning speed!). Of course, the man was just acting – he was good at that aspect of life.

"Oh, Raito-kun, don't be too sad about Near's death," Mogi said, thoroughly confused at Raito's speedy quick switching of moods. "We didn't know that…Kira…would get Near in the end. Anyway, don't bring it upon yourself, you weren't at fault here."

"Yes, yes," Raito replied with a weak voice. "But it's still disheartening to know that there might've been at least something I could have done to stop him from getting the ultimate judgment. That shiny white-haired kid was only doing his job, and Kira stopped his poor heart for doing his job…How depressing…" Raito slowly trailed off. Man, Raito should drop everything and become an actor.

"Humph. That kid had it coming, though," Matsuda cut in. And we all know that Matsuda secretly worships Kira in the darkness of the night and hated Near for hindering Kira's supreme rule.

"Don't say that, Matsuda. Near was a bright little kid, L's offspring. Mello, also, even though he was a pain in the ass, but one has to acknowledge his genius of stealing the Death note from under our noses," Raito said.

They all murmured and nodded in agreement, although they couldn't forget about getting burned by Mello way back a hundred years ago. Talk about adding salt to the wound (Matsuda almost whimpered - he disliked Mello almost as much as Near).

"It's a shame such great minds ended by a twist of cruel fate," Raito continued. "However, we must continue searching for Kira and bring him/her/him-her/it down!"

Cheers rang on, though not as enthusiastically as before.

But no matter!

Through weeks of blood, sweat, tears, and consistent awe-inspiring plans, he finally got rid of Near! Indeed, Raito was getting rather irritated as his constant need of overbearing himself as a genius (and then gleaming as everyone goes, "Yagami-kun, you the best, so cool!"), but Gods do have their limits.

Hmm, what did Yagami Raito do in the past year? Let's see--

He got rid of L…

And then Mello.

And now Near!

One after another…

L…M…N…

They all died under his rule.

And man did he rule so bad it hurt.

Wait, hold on.

L…M…N…

That sounded familiar.

L for L (Why did he have to have a one-letter name? At least he could've been "El," but that was "the" in Spanish, or "Elle," but he was a guy… so Raito just shrugged)…M for Mello…N for Near…

The brilliant, handsome man twitched his eyebrow muscles a little as the names repeated in his head.

Why did they all have to have corresponding letter names?

Oh, the likeness of their names slightly disturbed the young Kira. It was like a cult. However, he decided that it must be a detective cult thing…

The telephone rang, interrupting his thoughts, and made Raito jump precisely 2.1 feet in the air. Who could it be? The last obstacle was DEFEATED, so he shouldn't be receiving any calls. He should be able to rule the world in peace now, haha!

In any case, Raito had a bad feeling about this.

Maybe it's Misa.

Or a girl-stalker.

Either of the two, he wasn't too pleased about. Girl-stalkers weren't suppose to know this phone number. But after all, he WAS Kira, and he needed to pimp more of his Godliness out to people.

"Yes? L speaking."

"Goo—gooo-goooo--GAH," A stream of incoherent words crossed over the phone.

"…"

"You aren't L, you a middle-aged Kira!" A voice that belonged only to a child no more than three said.

"…Excuse me?"

This time, the investigators all froze at the bratty voice. "Ha! I knew it! I knew you were Kira all along!" Aizawa spoke out in a haughty and accusing tone. Raito just wondered why the author didn't kill Aizawa earlier.

"Hey, lemme speak to that big dummy!" Another voice cut in through the phone.

"No, I wanna talk!" A third voice said, and presumably, the third voice grabbed the phone from the other two in the background.

"You killed L! And then Mello! And now Near! All my heroes!"

"Are you gonna make my teddy's heart stop, too?" The second voice jumped in.

"Stoppit, Oni-chan, I was talking to mister middle-aged Kira first!"

Raito could barely understand the childish words – they sounded like three-year-olds. Why were three-year-olds calling him? The last time he checked, little kids younger than five shouldn't be able to use telephones.

"Who is this? Er, I mean…who are you guys?"

"We are O, P, and Q, the successors of the real L!"

Raito chocked on his spit. Why did their ages keep shrinking in size?

--end--

You can shoot me now :D. But at least I'll die happy from writing this.