The Men Behind Masks Part II: Manager and Captain
By Serena Kenobi
Summary: Thanks to Phantom'sJediBandieGirl, I have decided to make a sequel to 'Men Behind the Masks.' This is for you, Phantom'sJediBandieGirl! In this... rather pointless story, we will be comparing Monsieur Firmin and Captain Han Solo. I hope you all enjoy it, I think it's a bit more funny than the other one. But then who am I to say? It's up to you!
Disclaimer: Moi? Own Star Wars or the Phantom of the Opera?... Sadly... no.
In repsonse to the reviews for 'Men Behind the Masks'
Super Tinfoil Man Part 2: Yeah, they do! It's weird and cool at the same time! Thanks for reviewing!
RavenRulzRF: Thank you so much! I think you're probably one of my most popular reviewers, you've reviewed almost every single story I've written!
Phantom'sJediBandieGirl: Yeah, they are very simliar. Since you gave me this idea, I dedicate this story to you! Thanks!
KK92: Yes, it is rather random. Thanks for the review, glad you liked it.
.Sweet-KRAZY.03.: Thank you so much! I enjoy getting reviews like that!
Sci-Fi Sista: Why hello again! Haven't heard from you in a while! I'm so happy you enjoyed this, I did, too. Thank you for reviewing!
Men Behind the Masks Part II: Manager and Captain
"Places, places," the director hissed, practically leaping behind a camera. He then nodded to a crew member.
"We're live in four, three, two one… aaaand… action!" the member shouted loudly, snapping the… thing.
The audience gave a very loud round of applause as their two hosts, Bail Organa and Madame Giry came out, waving, to the stage.
Now, you're probably wondering why Bail decided to do another show. Well, either it was because they begged, pleaded, got on their knees, and offered him a new penthouse in Coruscant and the entire planet of Alderaan, or he just felt obligated and wanted to be nice. If you chose the first answer… you're right on. If you chose the second…..Ha. Ha. Very funny.
So anyways, here they both were, doing another episode of the show "Comparing Famous Men of Today", and Madame Giry was not looking forward to this. But she bravely sucked it up as they walked onto the stage.
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen," Bail said, plastering on a grin, "And welcome to 'Comparing Famous Men of Today', where we compare, contrast, and see the similarities of the famous men of the present. I'm your host, Bail Organa, and this of course, is my beautiful hostess, Madame Antoinette Giry!"
Everyone clapped loudly, and a few whistled.
"Thank you, Bail," Madame Giry said, smiling, "It is an honor to be here once again. Last time, we compared two very wonderful men, the Phantom of the Opera, a personal friend of mine, and Darth Vader, the second to the now dead Emperor Palpatine."
"Yes, that certainly was an experience," Bail added, laughing nervously, "Well, Antoinette, what special men do we have on our show today?"
Madame Giry gave a wan smile. "Today we are having none other than one of the managers of the opera house, Monsieur Firmin, and the renown space pirate and captain of the Millennium Falcon, Captain Han Solo!"
Everyone cheered ecstatically when the two men came out, but most of them, actually ninety-nine percent were for Han, who smiled roguishly and sauntered out cockily.
Firmin was dressed in his normal attire, as was Han, and they both sat down next to each other in different chairs. The hosts went to their usual podium to begin the interview.
"Gentlemen, an honor," Bail said, nodding to the both of them.
"Absolutely a pleasure," Firmin replied pleasantly, nodding back to Bail.
Han gave his famous half grin and said, "It's an honor when such a good lookin' guy like yours truly is on this show, your Stiffness." He casually put both hands behind his head and relaxed.
The fake grin was quickly wiped away off of Bail Organa's face as he glared at Han evilly. "Ah… well…." He grew red in the face as Madame Giry began to smirk at him.
"Well put, Captain," she said, smiling at Han.
"Thanks, sweetheart," Han replied, giving her a cheesy grin. She blushed up to the roots of her hair.
Bail growled under his breath. "Now then… let's begin the questions. Gentlemen, what do you do for a living?"
Firmin brushed off his suit. "I am a manager for the Opera Populaire, sir," he replied. "But previously I was in the.. junk business."
Han snorted.
"Scrap metal, actually," he hastily added, tugging at his collar.
"And you, Captain?" Madame Giry asked Han.
He smirked widely. "Well, your ballerina-ness, I was a space pirate for a while, smuggling things, just tryin' to stay on my feet. But then I was in the Rebel Alliance, where I met the kid, the princess, and… the dreaded Professor." At that he winced. "But right now I'm livin' with ol' Daddy Darth Dearest and his family, and still doing random stuff."
Bail looked down at his cards, clearly regretting that he had ever agreed to be put back on the show. "Well, let's find some similarities… you both have brown hair… um… brown eyes…."
"That's not true," Firmin disagreed, "Mine are dark greenish blue."
"And his hair isn't brown, it's grey," Han interjected.
Firmin glared at him. "There's still brown in it!" He snapped angrily, turning back to Bail.
The host looked blank. "Well then.. what DO you have in common?" Bail asked, at wit's end.
The two guests looked at each other. "Well, I own my own carriage…" Firmin broke off.
"I own my own ship, which I guess you could call a carriage," Han added sheepishly.
"I play billiards in my free time," Firmin went on.
"And I play sabbac and work on my ship," Han said.
"… And I like to spend time with my good friend Andre, have a drink of cherry or champagne, and get a good girl..."
"I hang out with the kid, Leia, Chewie, and sometimes Lando…"
The two stopped talking and shrugged.
"I still fail to see any similarities between us," Han continued, leaning back into his seat and looking towards the hosts.
Madame Giry looked at her card. "Ok… what would your perfect woman be? Monsieur Firmin?"
Firmin furrowed his eyebrows, thinking hard. "Well…" he began, "She would have to be shorter than I… blonde hair… a very good figure… mildly tempered… would always listen to what I was saying, worshiped the ground I walked on, had lots of money.. do what I told her… and… like to go to masquerades."
Han stared at him. "You forgot to add on the end: 'that girl doesn't exist,'" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Firmin glared at him again.
Bail looked at him hard. "Well, what would YOUR perfect woman be, captain?" he asked coldly, earning an evil look from Madame Giry.
Han smirked. "Well, Mr. Stiffness, she'd have to be loyal, not afraid to stand up for what she believed in, beautiful, strong, a good temper, long chestnut hair, amazing doe colored eyes, a strong spirit, good with a blaster, and a lightsaber wouldn't hurt either… likes to work on ships, isn't afraid of Wookies, likes to shut off the Professor… well, I've already found my girl. Leia Skywalker." He gleefully smiled at Bail, who was ready to punch him.
"SHE'S LEIA ORGANA!" Bail shrieked wildly, slamming his fist on the desk.
Han shook his head. "Nope, Pops has reclaimed her as his daughter. You should see 'em, they're good friends now. It helps to have Princess on my side whenever Mr. Skywalker… let me rephrase that, Mr. Solokiller, wants to swipe my head off."
Bail had steam coming out of his ears; and poor Firmin looked rather confused.
"Let's bring out their sidekicks, shall we?" Madame Giry said hurriedly before anything BAD happened. "Everyone, let's welcome Monsieur Andre and Co. pilot Chewbacca!"
The audience clapped as Chewie and Andre walked out onto the stage and sat in the same seats that Christine and Padmé had sat in.
"Thank… you for coming," Bail managed to get out, trying to calm himself down a bit. "And now our first question… how did you meet your sidekicks, gentlemen?"
Andre glanced at Firmin, who reddened considerably. Han quickly caught on and leaned in to hear better. "Well…." Firmin began, "It was during the time in the junk business.."
"Scrap metal!" Andre shouted, drumming his fingers on the chair, "Actually." He weakly smiled at the audience.
Bail nodded slowly. "Riiiiight…. Chewbacca? How did you meet….this… person?" he spat out.
Chewie roared several things, none of which anyone could understand in the slightest. They looked to Han to translate what he was saying.
"Well," Han began to translate, saying what Chewie was saying, "I met Han when he was on Kashyyyk, and the Empire was overtaking it. They made us work for slaves, but we managed to break out and free ourselves. I gallantly stole a ship, using my wonderful height, and together we decided to become partners from then on, answering to no man, be he Jabba or the Emperor himself… HOLD ON A MINUTE!" Han suddenly roared, "That's not what happened! If I remember correctly, which I BLASTED WELL DO, (at this the audience gasped at his use of colorful language) it was ME who stole the ship and set us free, I was the one who stole the ammo from the stormtroopers, and we DID answer to a man… lots! We worked for tons of people, Jabba included! You fuzzball!"
Chewie moaned and ashamedly covered his head with his furry paws.
"Ya got that right," Han said, glaring at him. "Get your story straight, laserbrain."
Firmin was affronted. "I would never treat Andre like that," he interrupted, "We hold a mutual friendship for one another."
"Except for that time when you blamed me for stealing your wig," Andre retorted.
Firmin shrugged. "There was that time," he agreed.
"And that time when you told my girlfriend that I was having an affair."
"Yes, that too…"
"And when you cut up my suit because it was better than yours and you were jealous…"
"I suppose…"
"AND that time when you ate my last cream puff…"
"Yes…."
"And don't forget when you made ME pay the Phantom's salary…"
"Well…."
"When it was really YOUR turn…."
"Um…."
"And that time when you read my PRIVATE mail…"
"….."
"AND–"
"JUST… SHUT THE HECK UP!" Firmin screamed, leaping up from his chair. "SHUT UP! SACRE BLEU!"
Han looked at Chewie smugly. "…And they say that they have a good partnership?..."
Chewie gave a muffled laugh, apparently agreeing with him.
Bail and Madame Giry glanced at each other nervously, not quite knowing what to do about the situation.
"Well…. Now's a good a time as any to say AU REVOIR to our audience out there!" Madame Giry said hurriedly, stepping in front of the camera. "Thank you so much for joining us… I'm Madame Giry."
"And I'm Bail Organa, signing out until next time," Bail added, stepping up next to her, trying desperately to block out the arguing managers.
"Cheers!" Han added happily, waving to the camera.
Well, Han and Chewie went home to Coruscant, where they found the entire family roaring with laughter at the two managers. They continued to have a grand ol' time doing what they wanted.
Firmin and Andre refused to speak to each other ever again after that night… but Firmin went on to star in a holodrama about Pandora's box. Rumor has it that the Phantom, or Erik, also starred in the holo.
Andre, on the other hand, didn't stay in the opera business either, but did a holo comedy about a butler supposedly named Bob, and then went back to the junk business. Scrap metal, actually.
So, what do Monsieur Firmin and Captain Han Solo have in common?...
Actually…. Nothing.
And the moral of this story?
Don't star in a holodrama with the Phantom who previously haunted your… I mean HIS opera house… or otherwise you might be subjected to serious bodily harm by use of the Punjab lasso. Possibly death. Zero out of ten doctors recommend dying. They say it's not good for your health, and you should avoid it at all costs.
Well, I hope you enjoyed that sequel. Please drop a review and tell me what you think! But no flamers allowed!