/ Hey everyone. I've only one word to say. Sorry. I've been saying that a lot lately. I make no excuses for my lack of effort in updating. All I say is that, I'm sorry. Please leave a review, good or bad, I don't mind. It will take my mind of things that are happening at my end of the computer screen. It may be a confusing chapter. It may not be. If it is, I'm sorry, forgive me. But it plays its part. As does everything. Enjoy. /

Chapter 26: Giving In
--// Disclaimer – I do not own Teen Titans. However, I do own the conversation at the end of the chapter. It is mine. I said that. He said that. //--

Chapter 26

Slipping out in the deserted hallway after Rachel had gone I crept quietly through the shadows, determined to go and find Richard. I cast my eyes around the cock pit of the ship, making sure no one was doing any late night errands before moving to open the door. Oh wow, it was locked, no surprise there. Almost grinning I skittered over to the control panel. Dropping to my stomach I slithered beneath the dashboard (Cringing as the dust collected on my clothes; I hate dust) and stretched my hand out to the corner of the floor, searching for the key.

"Looking for something luv?"

I shot up at the voice and narrowly missed smashing my head on the hard metal of the underside of the control panel. Scowling I slithered out and brushed the dust away. AS I stood I was backed into a corner, my head connecting with the hard wall behind me.

Drake made a scolding sound in his throat, "Really Kori, you shouldn't be sneaking about at night, especially with all the dangers out there." He cocked a knowing brow and I played innocent.

"I needed some fresh air." I gestured to the door, "I was hoping to go for a walk, other than that I don't know why I am backed up in a corner."

Drake laughed, "Come now Kori, you aren't stupid, stop acting like it." I laughed like a child, hoping to fool him.

"I am not acting stupid, I just don't understand why you are restricting me from moving, and it is quite painful really." It was, who would want to be shoved up against a cold metal wall, I didn't do it on an every day basis.

Drake looked doubtful, "Would you lie to me Kori?" He asked, staring me straight in the eye. Yes, I would, if it meant getting Richard back.

"No."

He sighed heavily, "I don't want to see you hurt by him Kori. Before, when I first met you, you made me feel wanted. I thought maybe you were the one, but then he showed up, and you adored him. To be honest it really hurt, and what I said before 'about not being able to love you properly' I said that because I didn't want you to worry. I was kidding myself. I would have loved you to the moon and back. I don't want you hurt because of him."

Listening to his small speech I was momentarily captured. I had never really thought that Drake possessed the qualities to be… I can't grasp the right word for his actions, emotional, perhaps?

"I love you Kori, I know you wouldn't leave, I trust you." I almost confessed to telling him everything I was planning to do, but then I saw the grin in his eyes, before he tried to speak again. Oh, so the little bastard was playing me.

"I don't want to see you hurt Drake." I stated quietly.

Suddenly his smart demeanor was gone. "What do you mean?" He asked softly, his voice tinted with confusion.

I narrowed my eyes at him menacingly. "I love Richard; and I would do anything for him. Even if it means knocking you out cold for the next weeks Drake, I would do it for him. Do not mess with me. Do not toy with me. I am no little girl Drake'r, and if you think I am, you are sorely mistaken."

There was silence as we stared each other out, his eyes portraying the fact that he was trying to figure out what to do.

"You should never underestimate you opponent Drake; they may surprise you when you least expect it." I said softly.

He bent his head down closer to me own, "Never underestimate your-"

In less than ten seconds Drake was on the floor, clutching his stomach, to where my knee had just connected. As the moonlight shone down on his face the guilt that rode up inside was over whelming. But I thought of Richard.

"I never do Drake. I never do."

--

Crashing through the under bush of the strange planet tears streamed down my face. But I didn't really notice. I didn't know where I was going. My mind was muddled with thoughts that I couldn't control. Full of sad words that I had heard in my life. Full of memories that seemed so truly and utterly irrelevant… so… I didn't know the right word. I was confused.

I stopped moving and looked at my boots; covered in a thick layer of unnaturally bright green grass. The dirt was brown flecked with purple. Everything… I wanted home.

Looking up at the trees that towered over me, I felt so small and miniscule. I would have taken flight had I not been so depressed. I looked out at the two moons this planet could see. One smaller than the other, The bigger one caught your eye first, but the smaller once was brighter, and tinted silver. It was more beautiful. I did not demand attention like the other.

Hugging my arms to my chest I fell to the knees, and then to my side, burying my tear stained face into the sweet smelling earth. I thought of Richard, and memories, so many memories floated back to me. pr good and bad times. Of him.

---Nightwing was leaning down and cupping my cheek with his injured arm, and kissing me, softly and sweetly, and I complied, tightening my grip on his waist.

Our eyes closed and my hand straddled his cheek, caressing it and toying with his long ebony hair.

It started out sweet and innocent, but it was deepened, by him. Nightwing deepened it and I agreed, kissing back with the same passion. His lips were soft and moist against my own, moving in a faint rhythm. My hand massaged his scalp gently; his hand cupped my cheek then moved to my neck, holding my head up. ---

---As much as I hated to admit it…I was comfortable, with Nightwing in this…position. I was lying on the ground on my back, the robe, now slightly open with Nightwing on top of me, his legs straddling my lower waist, his arms pinning mine to the ground. His whole body weight upon me…he wasn't that heavy. ---

---"Do you love Drake?"

Ok, now I was uncomfortable again. He just had to ruin the sort of friendship moment, typical Richard. Although he had asked a very good question, did I love Drake? Did I really like him, or did I like the thought of him? Neither. I liked him, but I didn't trust him. He just wasn't for me, he was nice and all, but he wasn't for me.

"No" It came out as a barely audible whisper, and I lowered my gaze to where my hands were gripping the sheets tightly.

"Do you love any one?"

Another question - he must really like torturing me like this.

"…No" I answered slowly, feeling guilt wash through me at the lie

"Good night, Kori" he said quietly, rolling over to face away from me.

I rolled over as well, as a single tear slipped down my cheek. ---

---He grabbed my arm, not harshly, but enough to stop me. Truly, I could have pulled away there and then, but the feeling that he gave me when he touched me was…bliss.

"Now'r Koriand'r, do nr't frogre'tr whrta'r sr'yr" He chided softly, his face so close to mine.

"How could I, How could I forget what you said? When all I think about is you" I replied softly, gazing at him with uncertain eyes.

"And all I think about is you, Koriand'r, and whether or not you would come back"

I looked away, back at my friends who were observing us closely, Drake scrutinizing us with narrowed eyes.

"Richard, do you know how hard it is for me to love you?" I whispered, so only he could hear.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to not worry about you?" his face was earnest, his voice held concern.

"Do you know that the man who has given his heart to me is standing behind us?" I whispered, my eyes starting to tear. ---

---No, I'm good, but…I just want to know something"

I raised a brow,

"Like what?"

He never answered; well he did, just not verbally. He grabbed my waist, pulling the last step closer, and I looked up at him through my eye lashes. Then he tilted my chin up with his hand slightly, and bent down, catching my lips in a sweet tender kiss. I was melting, utterly melting in his sweet embrace. My eyes closed, as did his, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, toying with his long hair. His strong arms circled my waist, pulling me towards him. ---

I don't know how long I stayed there, thinking of him, his touch. I loved that about him. He had different touches. I knew them all. When he was upset, worried, wanting, and needing.

"Kori… Why do you do this to yourself?"

A smile fell to my lips, as I imagined his voice. I didn't open my eyes. I didn't want to lose him. "I don't know. That's like asking why do I love you?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course…"

"We've been through so much Kori… maybe we're just not meant to be together. Have you ever thought about that? We're so different, you and I; we hardly have anything in common."

"Save our taste for wicked sarcasm."

"That's me Kori darling, not you."

"You are so up yourself."

I felt the dream voice slip from my mind but I begged for it stay. I could see him standing there, and I didn't want to lose that image, for I feared I might never see him again. I could hear faint sounds, chattering, scratching, and all strange illusions of my dream like state of mind. Oh how I wanted it to be real. To feel his touch, to have him hold me, for him to tell me… he loves me. The noises became louder, and I cursed my mind, I didn't want noise, just him. I tried making them disappear as I hugged myself on the sweet smelling earth… Sweet… sour… sour. Oh god Sour.

I struggled to open my eyes; but they refused to open. I started panicking… my entire body was restricted and I couldn't move. I felt ill, I couldn't breathe… but I could… I was stuck… my body was half functioning. The stench of something long rotten invaded my senses, making me retch; but not properly. I needed help; something had me, they were around me… the shadows… they were taunting me… telling me Richard dint love me… laughing, touching me, teasing me.

"No…" It was supposed to be a cry, a demand, anything… but all it was, all it was… just air… nothing more. I was dying. I could feel it. They were restricting my body. What were they? They were… they were my worst nightmare… they were me. The bad me, they shadow of myself, the thing I saw instead of myself when I was depressed. It was telling me… telling me I was worthless… I didn't deserve a life…

It was probably right… why not give in to it? Why not let it take me…

--

//That is all I have for you today. I'm sorry if you don't like it. //