Study Aids
By Ysabet
Author's Note: Pure silliness; don't shoot me, please. And now, a little explanation here... Everybody sing along with me! Standard spoken text is designated with ", Bakura's communications are brackedt with "--", the Pharaoh's comments are straight italics, and Ryou and Yuugi's are in plain text. Whew. As for the rest... well, if YOU were an undead homicidal maniac, you'd still have to find ways of passing the time now and then. You can't constantly be involved in nefarious plans of World Domination, can you? I mean, even Darth Vader probably petted kittens now and then (just prior to blowing up their planets, of course). So what DO you do to amuse yourself? I know what I would do, which is probably why it's a good thing I'm not the Spirit of the Ring...
Oh yeah, the Declaimer: Not mine, don't sue, I'm broke. So there. Meh.
--The answer is 'Constantinople'. Trust me.--
It is NOT. You're just trying to mess me up— I remember this one, it's—
--Who are you going to believe, your teachers or someone who's been there?--
What were you doing in Constantinople? …No, never mind, don't tell me, I need to concentrate on this test and you're not helping, not that that's very much of a surprise.
--I'm hurt. You don't believe me? And it was a very interesting time. Violence, all sorts of political upheaval, blood running in the streets, fine houses left unguarded… opportunities everywhere; almost like a vacation.
……………………………
--Well?--
…….I think I rather like you better when you're not trying to be 'nice'. Why are you trying to get along with me today, anyway? Why are you in such a good mood? What is it you want from me?
--SO very paranoid. That's unhealthy, little host, suspecting everything I say or do as if I only had my self-interest at heart… if I had a heart, that is… Who says I want anything? Besides the usual, I mean. I'm merely… content, for the moment.--
I don't' trust you. Why should I? And the answer is NOT 'Constantinople'. Constantinople was never invaded by China!
--China? I thought you were still looking at question twelve, the one you answered as 'Greece', which is also wrong. Why would anybody care about old wars, anyway? They're part of the dead past----
……………You're—never mind.
--Heh. I'm 'part of the dead past too', is that what you were thinking of saying? Bold of you, little host; you're more fun when you lose your temper. But watch that tongue or I'll do something creative to it next time I'm in charge of our body. Have it pierced, perhaps. Wouldn't that be interesting?--
You wouldn't DARE.
--Of course I would. I like the idea—you don't even wear an earring; a few piercings would be an improvement. Though… it would make you look less innocent, and it'd be a shame to toss awayso useful a tool as innocence; never mind. I suppose we can look into piercings when you're a little older. No tattoos, though.--
--I have to ask. Why no tattoos?
--Simple they make you too easy to identify should you be caught. One can always remove piercings, but tattoos are another story. Why? Were you planning on getting one?--
NO. Now will you please let me finish this test? It's important to my grade!
--Suit yourself, boy.--
"Ryou-kun? Please don't whisper to yourself while taking a test, please; it disturbs the other students."
"Um, sorry, Sensei. I'll try not to."
…and… Yuugi-kun? That goes for you as well."
"Yes, Sensei. Sorry."
Aibou? Ibelieve that your test has been tampered with…
I think you're right... What in the world--?
There are additional questions handwritten in at the bottom. Should you answer them, do you think?
…That's NOT the teacher's handwriting…..
It isn't?
No. I don't think Sensei knows how to write in hieroglyphics.
A good point. Let me see-- Aibou? What is a 'horndog'?
--Uh---
And what is a—ah; never mind, I think I know that one. No, I'd say that you're correct; this would be an entirely different kind of class if the teacher was asking about THAT.
…………ummm…………yeah…………
Of course, it'd be a lot more interesting than world history, too. DO they teach classes about that sort of thing in these times? If they do, perhaps we should—
NO.
One should never turn down a chance to learn, aibou. Now—how shall we answer these questions?
You're snickering. WHY are you snickering?
--Look at the Pharaoh's host. You tell me.--
Does this have anything to do with whatever we did last night after I fell asleep? I know we did SOMETHING, there was dirt on my shoes and I had two new scratches on my leg… Where did we go? What did you do?
--A little creative editing, nothing more. That's a useful habit your teacher has, putting her students' names on their test-papers before they're handed out. It makes it much easier to pick the right one out of a stack.--
They lock those up overnight. In a SAFE. A good one.
--And?--
…Do I want to know…?
--Probably not; it was fun, though figuring out how to write 'horndog' in hieroglyphics was a little tricky… Now; the answer to question fifteen is 'Ethiopia.'--
It is NOT! It's 'Belgium'-- Wait, 'horndog'? Why did you—never mind. Never mind. And it's 'BELGIUM.'
--Wrong, it's 'Ethiopia'. And the next one is 'Alexandria—--
"Um, Sensei? Could I please talk to you for a minute?"
"After the test is over, Yuugi-kun. "
"But, but I— there are—"
"AFTER the test, please. Sit down; you're disturbing your classmates."
"……yes, Sensei." sigh
--Oh, beautiful. Just LOOK at his face…--
I don't know what you did, but I DO know that I'm the one who's going to get in trouble for it. I just know I am. I always do…
--Whatever. Now, about question seventeen, the answer to THAT one is 'Gaul'.--
……Don't tell me, you were there too. Right?
--Why, yes, as a matter of fact… What? You don't believe me?--
Could you please go back to being unhelpful, nasty and homicidal? It's easier on my nerves.
--Some other time, maybe. Today's a good day, and when your teacher gets a look at the tests, it'll be even better. Now, write down 'Gaul', boy----
…Are you SURE the Greeks invaded Gaul? I don't remember that from class--
--Trust me. Would I lie to you?--
Owari.