Unstoppable meets Unbreakable

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" Gai shouted as he flew into the room, completely destroying the door in the process. "Good afternoon everyone!" He struck a pose, thrusting out a thumb as his teeth sparkled. "Please, continue with what you were doing! Don't let me disturb you! Education is important!"

The class stared at him, mouths open.

"What," Snape said in tones that would have frozen lava, "are you doing in my classroom?"

"Ah Severus! I have come to see you!" Gai clapped Snape manlily on the back, almost flooring him. "You see, I have given some thought to our conversation yesterday." Snape cringed.

"That wasn't a conversation." He said with dignity. "That was a monologue on your part."

"Ah, your cold attitude is so hip and modern!" Gai lamented. "You remind me so much of my arch rival, Kakashi. But I do not hold it against you!" He boomed. "I know that you have been hurt deeply by a scorned love, and if you have no precious person to protect, then that can have a horrible effect."

"Snape was in love?" One of the students whispered.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff for your cheek, Simmons!" Snape snapped. "And furthermore, I have no idea what this lunatic is raving on about. Sir, I must ask that you leave my classroom at once." He glared at Gai, hoping he would get the hint.

A forlorn hope at the best of times. An impossible one at present, because Gai was on a Mission. A mission of love.

"I have come to help you love again, Severus!" He declared. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, so studiously bent over their cauldrons, stifled giggles.

"To love your students!"

The giggling was replaced with the dead silence of sheer horror.

"Yes, the bitterness in your heart would soon overflow with the passions of youth if you would only learn to love your students! To laugh when they laugh, to cry when they cry, and to help them improve and live on in your teachings!" A few tears trickled down Gai's cheeks as he was moved by his own speech. One or two of the students started to get a little misty as well. Say what you want about the actual content of his speech, Gai would have made on of the world's best motivational speakers.

"I have no need for passion." Snape sneered. "Especially not with my students. You will find that the parents tend to frown upon such things."

"Come everyone!" Gai glistened in the sunlight that was somehow in the dungeon classroom, "Come and embrace your teacher! Let the passionate love of youth heal his broken heart!" And with a cry he flung himself at Snape.

Needless to say, it didn't work. But, as Gai enthused whilst healing at the infirmary, there was always next time.