Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor his magical world. Furthermore, I do not own Drop Dead Fred. In short, don't sue me.

Drop Dead Uncle Fred

Chapter 1: A Tale Begun

Prologue:

To say that the Weasley family was a strange one was an understatement. Unlike many pureblooded wizards, they never looked down upon those who were not pureblooded. All of the family had blazing red hair. The father, Arthur had a fascination with everything Muggle and the mother, Molly, was one of the most temperamental people in the world. The eldest son, Bill, worked at a bank with goblins and the next eldest, Charlie, worked with dragons. Percy, the third child, was a stuffy prude. George and Fred, who were twins, were the most mischievous, childish geniuses. The youngest son, Ron, was extremely hotheaded and thick sometimes, but was loyal and played the best game of chess anyone had ever seen. Finally, the youngest and only daughter of the family, Ginny, was quirky and to top it all, in denial about her love of the one and only Harry Potter.

That was the Weasley family that everyone knew. Yet, most people did not know about the extended Weasley family. Arthur Weasley had two brothers. One, they saw every once in a while, but the other they never talked about. None of the Weasley children knew why. In truth, it was mostly Molly Weasley's fault; she was not very fond of him and thought he was a bad influence on her children. You could see his influence on Fred and Georgealthough they had not seen him since they were five. They all had an eerie similarity, especially Fred (who had been named after his uncle).

Perhaps it was for the best, this particular brother of Arthur's was normally very busy. From what they knew, he worked with children, but that is all.

Ginny Weasley stormed through the office in an utmost rage. To be frank, she was pissed off. Her red hair went perfectly with the fury on her face. People shot looks of apprehensiveness after her; everyone knew that an angry Weasley was not one to mess with. Everyone almost sorry for the young man whose office she was approaching. They didn't, however, find themselves able to feel sorry for him. He deserved what he got.

Ginny knocked on an office door, which was adorned with a plaque baring the name Zacharias Smith. Without waiting for an answer, she barged in to see a young, blonde man wearing pinstriped robes. He looked up from the papers on his desk, obviously surprised to see the angry young woman. "I am so sorry to burst in on you like this, darling," Ginny said with the slightest trace of malice, "but I needed to talk to you about something."

"I am sorry Gin, but it will have to wait; I am rather busy," said Zacharias.

"Oh, I am sure you are, but this won't take very long. I was just wondering how there came to be lipstick on your cheek and shirt collar?" said Ginny sweetly.

Zacharias visibly gulped. "I—my grandmother came earlier. I must not have wiped all of her lipstick off. She really does wear to much make-up for her age…"

"Oh, well, I am sorry to say that that shade of lipstick is not your color Zacharias," said Ginny smiling. "How about going to lunch? I thought you could use a break."

"I, well, I am sorry Ginny, but today isn't a very good day. I have a lot of work to do. You know, that deal with the goblins at Gringott's Dublin branch is not going very well, and I have to write a whole new proposal."

"That's too bad. It will all be fine, I am sure. I will floo you later, alright?"

"Yes, that would nice."

Ginny left, leaving a very relieved Zacharias behind. All the people in the office looked at her with surprise when she exited the Mr. Smith's office with a calm face. They all had expected yelling or at least some evidence of things being thrown about.

Ginny stopped at the secretary's desk. "Hello Hannah, how are you?"

Hannah Abbott looked at Ginny with surprise. "I am fine, I am just finishing up the Dublin Gringotts deal."

"Really, how did it go?" asked Ginny with a slightly peculiar look upon her face.

"Really well; it was surprising how cooperative the goblins were."

"I don't doubt that. Hannah, do know about how long it has been since I have exited Zacharias's office?"

Hannah checked her watch. "About two and a half minutes."

"Thank you, Hannah. I will see you later. Oh, and I apologize in advance for disrupting everyone."

Hannah stared as Ginny walked back to the door of Zacharias's office. Ginny caught her eye and counted down from ten on her fingers. Then she abruptly opened the door. From what Hannah could tell, Zacharias was in big trouble.

He and a woman with dark brown hair had fallen off his desk, apparently from a very compromising position. They picked themselves up off the floor to meet the sight of Ginny, who had a sickly twisted smile on her face.

"Hello, you must be Zacharias's grandmother," said Ginny reaching out to shake the woman's hand. The woman looked perplexed. "Well, it is either that, or Zacharias is a cheating liar, which if he is, you would know perfectly well."

"Ginny, I—" started Zacharias, looking scared.

"Shut it, Smith. You are a lying, cheating bastard and I will not take it."

"I—"

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long?"

"A month."

"Bastard."

"Ginny, please don't…"

"Do what? This?" said Ginny, kicking him twice, once on the shin, and once…well, never mind. Zacharias doubled over and Ginny stomped out, tears forming in her eyes as she sent a Bat-Bogey hex over her shoulder.

Chapter 1: Section 2: Facing the Family

"I cannot believe that little—"

"Ron! Watch you language!"

"But I didn't even—"

"But you were about to!"

"Well, I have every right to that…guy…just cut out and stomped on my little sister's heart. What to expect me to do?"

"Ronald, you are not helping the situation. She needs to be comforted! She doesn't need your bloody hot-headed temper right now!"

"Oh, ho, ho, look there! You saw that Gin! Look who has the foul mouth now!"

Ginny was sure that it was not the best idea to tell Ron and Hermoine what had happened. She didn't have too much choice in the matter though. It was family dinner night and it was Ron and Hermoine's turn to cook. She had arrived at the Burrow looking quite miserable, and Hermoine and Ron had understandably asked what was wrong. Ginny knew that there was no use lying when Ron would probably associate any unhappiness on her part to Zacharias (Ron hated him with a passion) and when the whole story would probably be in the Prophet the next day seeing that she had caused quite a large scene. Ginny was just glad that the rest of her family was not home yet.

Most of her family did not approve of her dating Zacharias Smith. Well, Percy approved full-heartedly. Percy had gone as far in writing a letter to Ginny about it, congratulating her on her turn around, on her improvement in taste. She should have realized it then; if Percy approved, seeing that Percy was an arrogant git, it was going to be an absolute disaster.

Perhaps, though, she should have realized that it would be a disaster long before. She had always hated Zacharias. Even now, the name made her cringe. Smith he would be from now on. She would forget what he did to her, that he—

Ginny could not help it; her eyes started tearing up again. She desperately tried to wipe them away before anyone saw but, alas, it was to late.

"Ronald Weasley! You are being an insensitive prat right now! Your sister is in pain!"

Ginny cringed, for as Hermoine said this Fred and George popped in. This was a horrible new development. Fred and George could not keep anything quiet.

"What? Why's Ginny in pain?" asked George.

"I stubbed my toe," said Ginny. It was a feeble lie, but it could work if Ron didn't open his big, fat…

"Smith was cheating on her!"

…mouth. Ginny sighed; this was going to be a long night.

"What!"

"We'll kill the bastard!"

"George, you still have that itching powder, don't you?"

"Yeah, do you still have those dysfunctional Skiving Snackboxes?"

"YOU TWO HOLD IT!"

Everyone turned to see that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had arrived. Ginny did her best to look small, sliding part way under the table.

"Fred and George! I do not know what you are up to, but adults or not, you will not use your dysfunctional products on anyone!"

"But—"

"No 'buts.' I am still your mother and you will listen to me!"

"Mum, listen, it is for the good of the world!"

"Not to mention for the honor of our dearest sister!"

By this time Harry, his girlfriend Romilda Vane, Bill and Fleur had arrived. Ginny had slunk further under the table, only finding the slightest solace in the fact the Charlie had not been able to make it. It was bad enough, though, with the majority of her family there. It made it even worse with Harry, Romilda and Fleur. First and foremost, Ginny still seemed to blush around Harry. She supposed it was out of habit, either way it was trivial, but still ended up being quite embarrassing sometimes.

Then there was Romilda Vane. Ginny hated her. She hated Ginny. It was as simple as that. It had been that way since their Hogwarts years, but it had increased significantly when Romilda had started dating Harry. Ginny, personally, didn't think that Romilda was good enough for Harry, that she was only in it for the fame and fortune. Romilda had also always viewed Ginny as a threat, even before she and Harry had gotten together.

As for Fleur, Ginny had gotten more used to her (although she still called her Phlegm), but this was still something that Ginny did not want her witnessing. Fleur had a tendency to be quite condescending with another tendency to make the situation feel twice as bad.

"Sister? What about Ginny?" asked Mr. Weasley. Ginny had now slunk down so far that she was only visible from the eyes up.

"Smith! He cheated on her!" said Ron furiously. Ginny's face was now burning as she tried to let herself slide all the way under the table.

Unfortunately, Ginny did not succeed, for Mrs. Weasley swooped down upon her, pulling her into the grip of death. Ginny felt like she was in a vice being smothered in sheep. This was also known as a tight hug from her mother who was currently wearing a wool sweater. Either way, she could hardly breathe.

"Ginny! Poor dear. You should have come to me right away! That Zacharias Smith didn't deserve you!"

"See, that's exactly why keeping those dysfunctional products was a good thing!"

"Smith won't know what hit him!"

"You know the bastard deserves it!"

"Ronald! I told you not use that language, no matter whether he deserves it or not!"

"Zat Smeeth, wasn't 'e the handsome blonde one?"

"Yes he was quite handsome. You know, it is a pity that she couldn't keep him, but I suppose he just needed to move on to bigger and better things."

"Fred and George, you are to throw away those things right away. What he did to Ginny is horrible but…"

"Now, Molly, they are adults now. They can take responsibility for their own actions."

"Bill, you back us up on this won't you? Smith needs to pay."

"Of course I will. We will need Charlie too…"

"He is going to regret the day he messed with the Weasley family!"

"Hermoine, calm down, Ron is just…"

"Stay out of this Harry! Ginny needs support now…"

"As I have said before, Ginny just isn't good enough for high class…"

"She izn't all zat bad…"

Ginny could not take it all. Have ten people talking and yelling all at once in a small cramped space was bad enough, but it was terrible when they were all talking about her as if she wasn't there. She started to get quite a headache and headaches made her irritable.

"YOU LOT, THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH!" she bellowed with all her might. All her might seemed to be enough, since everyone fell quiet, all their eyes turned towards her. "I happily let all of you know that Mr. Smith was kicked twice and was on the receiving end of a Bat-Bogey hex at approximately thirteen minutes after twelve this afternoon, not to mention being publicly embarrassed in front of all his co-workers and his… lover. Now, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would all stop discussing my life as if I wasn't right here."

Ginny sat down, feeling satisfied that she had gotten the message through. Everyone was relatively quiet as Hermoine and Ron brought dinner out. Her dad was the first to apologize.

"Ginny, dear, I am sorry. We were just concerned…"

"Yeah, I am sorry too," added Bill. "Although, I still think that that prat needs to be taught a lesson."

"I agree, Ginny. I am sorry, but Smith was never good enough for you anyway. You deserve much better," said Harry.

Ginny tried to suppress her blush. Ginny ignored her heating face, distracting herself by accepting her other brothers' apologies, although, she did happen to notice a contemptuous look upon Romilda's face, right after Harry's apology.

The rest of dinner went well considering that fact that everything had been a bit tense. Ginny remained relatively quiet. She was contemplative, wondering how this had all happened, how Smith could do this to her, how she had started dating such an honorless man. She felt violated and disgraced. It would have been one thing if he had just broken up with her, but knowing that he had cheated on her, that if chance had it, she would be still with him, ignorant of everything.

Chapter 1: Section 3: A Really, Really Bad Day

Ginny really did not want to go to work that day. She had spent most of the night crying, much to her disgust. Smith didn't deserve her tears, she kept telling herself, but they came anyway.

She went to working in spite of how she was feeling. She just hoped it would distract her. She was quite fond of her job. She had wanted to become an Auror, but after Voldemort was defeated for good, there was not much need for more. She now worked at the Department of Magical Games and Sports at the Ministry of Magic. She worked in the research division, working to invent faster, safer brooms, more powerful bludgers and quicker snitches. She and her coworkers always had a lot of fun with everything, much to the chagrin of the other people in the Department who had to deal with all the paperwork.

As Ginny walked through the Ministry to her Department, she felt the eyes of numerous witches and wizards following her. She hated the feeling and quickened her pace. Whispers chased after her through the halls…

"…poor girl, did you see in the Prophet…"

"…that Zacharias Smith bloke, apparently she walked in on him with…"

"…I heard that she just went with him to make Oliver Wood jealous…"

"…the Quidditch player? Man, she sure likes them rich and famous…"

"…I remember at Hogwarts she really fancied Harry Potter…"

"…I heard that Smith was cheating on her with Harry Potter…"

"…no, it said in the Prophet that it was a woman, besides, Harry Potter is going with that Romilda Vane woman…"

"…I have always though that Mrs. Vane was much better looking than Mr. Smith…"

"…the point is that Smith is an idiot…"

Ginny slammed her office door shut. She couldn't stand it. Rumors spread like a wildfire around here. Only about ten percent of them had any truth to them.

"Lousy day?" asked a voice.

"I haven't even been up for an hour and it is already horrid," said Ginny plopping down at her desk.

"I am assuming that you have seen the Prophet already then?"

"Actually, I have not, but I have heard enough whispers just walking in here."

"Well, I hope, Miss Weasley, that this whole deal will not affect you work performance."

"You sound so formal, Mr. Higgs. I daresay hope that you don't use that tone around Spudmore. He will think that you are trying to steal his job," said Ginny, keeping her face straight.

"And no one wants to make that man mad."

"He might blast your ears off."

Ginny's coworker Terence Higgs just laughed. "It wouldn't make much of a difference, I don't listen to him anyway. Enough about that, I heard about Smith."

"Yes, well it seems the whole world has now," said Ginny, scowling.

"Well, you did make quite a scene."

"He deserved it."

"I don't doubt that. I told you it wasn't wise to date a Hufflepuff."

"Yes, and my brothers told me that all Slytherins are evil."

"Well, I have always said you Gryffs were stereotypists. Just because we are not as honorable as you…"

"I get the point," said Ginny throwing a crumpled up paper at Terence.

"So what are you going to do now with your new found singularity?" he asked.

"Nothing in particular."

"Really, because I know a few guys who have been asking a about you."

"That's nice, but I am going to keep things quiet for a while."

"I like quiet, you see, it allows people to be more productive and actually do their jobs."

Ginny and Terence looked up to see their boss Gilbert Spudmore glaring down at them. The middle-aged man was notorious for being a pain in the posterior, as well as being one of the most touché and hardheaded bosses around.

He continued. "Miss Weasley, while your personal life is probably most interesting, I will tell you once again to not bring it into the office. I warned you last time, and if it happens again you will be fired. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," answered Ginny softly.

"Now get to work, both of you!"

The rest of Ginny's day went horribly. After being nearly fired, she spilled coffee all over Joey Jenkins, Chudley Canons Beater. The only reason she wasn't fired right then and there was because Jenkins was very kind about it and Spudmore wanted to make a good impression on him. Her day went down hill even faster from there. When taking her lunch break she had to try to ignore all the whispers and spreading rumors. She became so distracted that she walked right into Harry Potter.

"I am so sorry, Harry," said Ginny, blushing as he helped her up. He said it was fine and gave her a quick grin, which made her blush even more.

"Harry!" said another voice. Ginny's face fell as Romilda Vane approached. "Harry, what's keeping you? We need to leave now for lunch before Armand's is filled, although, I know he could still find a place for you, we must have a good table...oh, I see, its you."

"Hello, Romilda," said Ginny, doing her best to muster up a smile.

"Hello, Ginerva. I was just hearing about you. Apparently, Zacharias had been with that other woman (who happens to be the daughter of Celestina Warbeck) for a month before you found out. Isn't that just dreadful?" said Romilda with a sickeningly concerned look on her face. Ginny did not really know how to reply to this. She looked to Harry to see that he a concerned expression upon his face also. "Well, Harry, we must really go. Goodbye!"

"Bye Ginny. Remember, if you need anything you can come to me," said Harry as Romilda pulled him away. Ginny blushed again. She did not know why she did so, but she assumed that she was just angry about Romilda. Ginny had really felt like punching her, especially when she had called her 'Ginerva.' Romilda liked to call her that just to irritate her.

Lunch was hectic. Some old lady had push Ginny out of the long line at Barbelin's Café. By the time Ginny was nearing the front once again, she was running late for work, so she had to leave without anything.

Ginny barely made it back to the Ministry in time. Terence scolded her and she received the evil eye from Spudmore. Finally, after an exhausting five hours of writing proposals to the Nimbus broom company, she got to head home.

She walked up to her flat to find her door wide open. Ginny drew her wand and turned on the light. It was apparent that whoever had been there had left, but it was also apparent that they had left with all her stuff as well.

She walked through her flat to find that all the furniture was gone. She could handle that. They had left her clothes, books and linens; that was good. They had taken her wireless though and her broom. Hell, they had even taken her floo powder. Ginny sighed. She supposed she needed to contact someone, but then she saw a note on her counter from her neighbor declaring that they had already contacted the Muggle policemen and they would be on the lookout.

Ginny could not believe her day. How many things could go wrong? She sighed once more and went to her cupboards to find something to eat.

Damn!

That was it. Whoever had broken in had raided her cupboards as well. There was not a morsel of food left. Ginny really did not want to, but there was nothing else that could be done. She walked out and apparated to the Burrow.

Chapter 1: Section 4: Mother Dearest

"Ginny! What happened?" shrieked her mother as Ginny walked into the kitchen.

"Bad day," she answered with a tired shrug.

"Poor dear. Here, how about I make you some dinner and you can tell me all about it."

This was the greatest thing about coming home. Ginny not only loved her mother's cooking, but he mother was a great person to tell all her problems to. Ginny used to vent by writing in a diary, but the Tom Riddle incident had taken its toll. She could hardly even look at a diary in Flourish & Blotts without shuddering. Henceforth, she had come to realize that her mother was better to vent to than any diary.

Ginny told Mrs. Weasley all about her day: how she had almost been fired, all the spreading rumors, and the robbery. Mrs. Weasley gasped in all the right places and gave all the needed hugs.

Ginny went to bed feeling much better than she had, but she was still not sure that she wanted to face the next day. She had a feeling that it was to be extraordinarily agonizing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This is, I suppose, a crossover, but it is not necessary to know anything about Drop Dead Fred prior to reading, although, it is a great movie. If you don't have time to watch the movie, or do not wish to, but want to know a bit more, I suggest reading some quotes from the movie. This is by far the longest chapter I have ever written. Just thought I'd let everyone know.

Thank you all for reading! I hope this has been an enjoyable experiance.

---Perplexity