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Disclaimer: I do not own the DN Angel characters or story.

Synopsis: Doctor Daisuke Niwa(24). Nurse Dark Mousy(27). Executive CEO Satoshi Hiwatari/Hikari(24). Secretary Krad(27). A recipe for madness and perversity. Yaoi, AU, various pairings

The blunette CEO stared at the plastic cup held in front of his face by a violet-haired nurse; and after a few moments of processing…He needed it explained again. Satoshi glared at the laminated ID card pinned to the nurse's coat and frowned with apparent distaste at the situation. "Nurse Mousy…You want me to do what exactly?"

Up until now, the young Executive CEO of Hiwatari International Electronics didn't think his day could get any worse…But he was wrong…So very wrong…

Earlier…

As per usual, Satoshi awoke in a daze and stared at his ceiling for a good half of an hour before his mind started to work. He couldn't decide which he hated more; his low blood pressure, or the annoying alarm clock that was blaring high-pitched chirps into his head. Realizing that he could now think clearly, he slammed his hand down on the alarm so hard that the word "SNOOZE" was left imprinted on his hand. He cussed mentally as he got out of bed and started stomping around his room, and when he kicked the mahogany bureau, he started to curse verbally. Yes, he could tell that this was the beginning of a bad day.

Satoshi POV Begin

I already love today. My blood pressure prevented me from shutting off that damned alarm clock that so cheerfully woke me from my slumber with an incessant electronic screech. …An alarm clock that doesn't annoy you to hell or scare you to death… I'll have Development and Testing of the Home Appliances Department research that. After I shrugged on my bathrobe and stepped into my house slippers, I made my way out of my bedroom that is larger than some houses. I inherited all of this extravagant crap and headache of a business from my father. The bastard is dead, so all of this is mine. Although I do agree that all of my wealth was just handed to me, don't consider me an inbred slacker. I acquired my MBA at the young age of fourteen in America. I imagine it was quite awkward to see a prepubescent ten-year-old achieve top marks at some prestigious school called Yale. Kei died when I was seventeen; I took control of his stocks as well as the corporation and made it 82 more profitable in my first three years. Four years later, my company's profits are still rising.

…And now I just reminded myself of an unavoidable obstacle today… We are launching a new ad campaign and the Board of Directors hired…Saga Entertainment. Which means I will have to meet with the head of Saga Entertainment and his little manslave. I will discuss business while he spouts random dribble. I detest him… People that cheerful need to cut down on their drug intake, recreational or medicinal. After I have outlined the fine details, which only his secretary will remember or understand, he will demand that I model for him, then I will refuse, he will pout, and then he will suggest some insane activity, followed by a trip to a strip club. More specifically, a gay strip club.

Ah, I've made it to my kitchen. I've attracted a swarm of servants…And they're all asking questions. I nod dumbly to their questions, it's too damn early to think for me. The chef looked at me funny; he must have asked what I wanted to eat. In a blur of swirling fabrics, I find myself seated on a chair in a jet black suit and red tie. I don't wear those designer suits, my father's tailor is always on duty. I also find myself with my signature glasses and in a pair of squeaky black shoes. A fresh croissant and butter is placed in front of me with accompanying glasses of water and orange juice. I do admit that the servants annoy me to no end, but at least they know what I want.

My wristwatch says that it's time to go, so I head out towards my limousine and have all doors I encounter open for me. They're not automatic, but I do still retain my father's door servants… You must ask that if they annoy me so much, why don't I fire them? Well, I tried to, but they broke into tears. They are very overly dramatic, but when people are clutching your pants and sobbing about being homeless, even I have to give in. But it does make some sense… They do live on site and get paid rather well… But I made the guy that used to carry Kei around the mansion part of the gardening team. I'm pretty sure Kei also had someone to wipe his ass for him, but I haven't seen anyone with the job title of "Asswiper" on the pay sheets.

Time flies when you're bitching about your adoptive, deceased, bastard of a father… I'm already in the elevator to the top floor… When did I get into my limo, get out, and walk inside the skyscraper? I walk into the huge lobby that leads to my office and…find it surprisingly noisy. …Ah, they're doing the morning aerobics. That must be why I wasn't assaulted with brownnosers. A sigh escaped my lips as I see my secretary coming toward me. He's going to tell me 'That Saga retard blanked blank blank blank.' "That Saga retard spilled coffee on himself…And then took off his pants because he didn't want to embarrass himself with the stain." Well, I got the first sentence correct. My blonde-bimbo of a secretary, continues… "He's waiting in your office. Just please hurry up and meet with him before he decides to relieve himself on the potted plants." And he walks away… Great, I have to face Saga and manslave Funabashi all by my self… Off topic for a minute… What is Krad's last name? Does he not have one? Is he like Madonna or Cher? Oh well, another mystery of the Universe, I suppose.

I take a deep breathe as I swing the doors open to my personal office. Instead of the formal bowing and exchanging of business cards, I am tackled and hugged by none other than Keiji Saga. …And my nose is assaulted by a foul odor of cologne. Too many types of expensive cologne mixed together smell worse than cheap cologne. I'll have to have my office deodorized… "Satoshi! Long time no see!" I glare at him in return…At least he's wearing underwear… "What? Not happy to be doing business with me again?" Nope, not at all. "Okay, in exchange for advertising your new product, I want you to model for me again! That's all!" Keyword: again. "I won't take any royalties or forms of monetary payment. Just think of it as a personal favor from me to you! And one good turn deserves another!" I free your slave? "You must model for me!" Damn. And I thought I could free a slave today.

…He's staring at me. Oh, it's because I've been quiet during his gibberish. I sit at the table and motion for him to sit as well…Here goes nothing. "That sounds like a fair offer, but allow me to make a more reasonable counter-offer. In exchange for your company's services, I would like to offer you…" I scribble a number down on a piece of paper and slide it toward the manslave, who passes it to Saga, who then scribbles something and slides it directly to me. …He crossed out my offer and wrote, 'I'm bored.' He has ADD, I'm sure of it. "Well, our product is sure to revolutionize every part of the modern world, from medicine to gaming and we would like to hire the best possible choice to produce our commercial and media releases. The direct stimulation of nerves in the brain creates highly realistic feelings, ranging from being tickled to being shot by a bullet. Of course, all sensations are virtual and not dangerous. So if adapted for various video games, the user could feel pain but not die. Also, we have inquiries from the medical industry, asking if it can be adopted for surgeons that are many miles away for remote surgery. …Mr. Saga, are you listening?"

He rolls his eyes at me and moves his hand in a talking motion. "Just tell me where to sign so we can go celebrate." Wow, it usually takes three hours for me to convince him to sign without me agreeing to a photo shoot. I produce a set of papers from my briefcase and point to several lines. …I wasn't even aware I was carrying a briefcase.

I am jerked from my thoughts as a hear a ripping sound echoes through the room. …He just ripped the entire contract in half… He's actually pretty strong…Or the high grade paper I print on is actually crap. He's grinning, that's not a good sign. "Tell ya what. We'll have a contest." Who can kill who first? "Let's see who is in best shape." Ah, so it is a fight to the death. "Let's go to a hospital and have full examinations of each other's health. Whoever is the healthiest overall, gets to make the contract! That is my final offer. Deal?" Well, considering that you have serious mental issues and are on a good deal of drugs, I don't really see how I can lose. I give a silent nod and feel myself getting pulled at a great speed.

Satoshi POV End

After the blur of blonde, cerulean, and black burst out of the office, Krad looked up just in time to be swept along with the current. Only when the four reached the elevator did the blunette and the golden blonde realize what was happening. Krad has done this type of thing long enough to know that it was neither possible nor wise to refuse the whims of Keiji Saga, so he just straightened out his suit and cleared his throat. "Is this a celebration or a challenge? It's very early, still… You were only in there for half an hour." He frowns down and Keiji and adverts his eyes. "And does Mr. Saga have no extra pants?"

Satoshi stared at his reflection in the gold plated walls of the elevator as it descended. His emotionless mask, Krad's constant look of annoyance, Keiji Saga's drug-induced euphoric stupor, and manslave Funabashi's face of boredom. Yes, it was truly an interesting group. As soon as the doors opened, Keiji flew out of the building into his white limousine, with Krad and Satoshi in tow and Funabashi not far behind; meanwhile, Keiji was describing his contest in great detail.

Once inside the limo, they broke a few dozen traffic laws and outran the police…twice. It only took about two minutes to reach the hospital at their speed. Yet even in that short amount of time, Krad had threatened to kill the Head of Saga Entertainment twice, and said Head of Saga Entertainment had managed to rip out a clump of golden hair.

They were finally at the hospital. After a grueling four hour wait because they had no appointment, several attempts to bribe the staff to move them ahead of the guy with a broken arm, and a situation that led to Keiji Saga being restrained with a straightjacket and muzzle, they were finally admitted to their side-by-side rooms. They were tended to by a high-strung doctor by the name of Daisuke Niwa and a naughty nurse by the name of Dark Mousy. They started out with full physicals. The first test…was a urine test…

AN: Yes, boring. This was a request by an unknown person. If this story does poorly, I will delete it.