Carve Your Heart Out Yourself

By: caramelo

I do not own One Tree Hill or anything related to it.

Part Four

"Brooke?"

Haley rapped on her friend's bedroom door cautiously. The maid who had ushered her upstairs had been unusually harried, suggesting that Brooke was in a very fragile state.

"Brooke?" Haley tried again.

The door flew open, and Haley was met with a heavy scowl. "You know you don't have to knock," Brooke snapped, turning on her heel and stalking back into her room.

Haley paused for a moment, asked herself if she really wanted to do this, and then ventured inside after her friend. "Okay, Brooke," she said with a sigh. "What happened?"

"What do you think?" Brooke snarled.

"I don't know," Haley said in her best no-nonsense voice. "That's why I'm asking you. I'd appreciate it if you cut out the snark since I dropped everything to come here for you."

Brooke at least had the decency to look abashed, though when she spoke her voice was no gentler than before. "That asshole still had my stuff, so I had to go get it from him, of course. And that asshole wasn't the least bit sorry about what he did. He even had the audacity to suggest that I should have expected him to end up fucking Peyton."

Haley sighed. "You know he's a jerk, Brooke."

"I know," Brooke shook her head, agitated. "But still, he should have…"

"Whatever you wanted out of him, it wasn't going to happen," Haley said gently.

Brooke's eyes flickered up to Haley's, surprised.

"I'm sorry, Brooke," Haley said, sincere, "but he's not that guy."

Brooke remained silent for a long moment, and Haley felt apprehension creep up her spine, but she knew the best thing would be to ride out whatever reaction Brooke was about to have. Instead of an explosion, however, or even a particularly scathing remark, Brooke's expression shuttered and her eyes averted.

"I know," she said in a small voice. "But sometimes I really wish he was."

It was times like these that reminded Haley that no matter how much bravado and bitchiness Brooke paraded to the world, she was just another girl who did get hurt and have her heart broken like everyone else. Particularly by this boy, who didn't even deserve it.

"Brooke," Haley murmured, wrapping her best friend in her arms. "Brooke, I really am sorry. I hate that he did this to you."

Brooke, for her part, allowed herself to relax into the embrace. "Me too," she said with a bitter laugh. "Fool me once and all, right?"

"You can't help who you love," Haley said.

"But you'd think I could get it in my head that he'll never love me back, and just move on," Brooke said, frustrated.

"You'll get over him," Haley assured her. "It just takes time."

"More than seventeen years, apparently."

"You haven't loved him your whole life," Haley said.

"No," Brooke said, pulling away with a bitter smile. "But I can't remember a time when I didn't."

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's not love, and just wanting what you don't have?" Haley asked tentatively.

Brooke only stared.

"Okay, yeah, dumb question," Haley retracted.

"And it's not just that," Brooke continued. "I love him, and he's this complete ass who screwed my best friend, and I'm being pathetic over it, and to top it all off, I just remembered that he's still got my favorite mixed CD."

"The one Peyton gave you for your birthday?"

Brooke glared, "If you want to get specific, yeah."

Haley hid a smile. "Sorry, just clarifying."

Brooke rolled her eyes, implying just what exactly she thought of that. "Well, whatever," she said. "The point is that he's got it and I want it, because I don't remember what some of the bands were but I like them, and it's mine. So now I have to go back over there even though I really don't want to and have to deal with him and stupid Tim and…"

"Brooke?" Haley cut in. "Would you like me to pick it up for you?"

Brooke halted, mid-tirade. "You would willingly go into the devil's lair for me?"

"Well, yeah," Haley said. "I mean, it's better than you having to face Nathan again when it's obviously the last thing you want to do."

"Also," she added as an afterthought, "I don't completely trust you not to do something completely irrational like stab him while you're there, and I'd rather my best friend not be incarcerated for the rest of the summer."

"That would be really tragic for my social life," Brooke agreed.

Haley laughed. "So are you feeling any better now, Tigger?"

"I don't feel like breaking things anymore," Brooke said honestly. "So, yeah, I guess."

"That's progress," Haley said. "So next time I see you…"

"Will be at Bevin's party tomorrow," Brooke interjected.

"Yeah," Haley said, "And I will hopefully have your CD for you by then."

"You're the best," Brooke said, launching herself at her friend and throwing her arms around her tight.

Haley caught Brooke with a laugh. "I know," she said, "and I'm glad you took the time to finally appreciate it."

The Scott mansion, Haley mused, standing before the door of the impressive concrete and glass house, the largest privately owned structure on this side of the zip code. Leave it to Dan Scott to flaunt his money for the millions it was worth without an ounce of shame.

Haley had been here before, of course, for parties and social dinners or just tagging along with Brooke. Years ago, she had even come here on her own. This had been back in seventh grade, when Brooke had decided that the new curly-haired addition to their homeroom was much more interesting than Haley, thanks to their shared interests in cheerleading and boy-chasing, leaving Haley with an empty seat beside her at lunch and sans after-school plans.

During this time, Lucas Scott had been assigned to be her partner for an English project, and they found out they loved nearly all the same books (with the glaring exception of The Catcher in the Rye, which Lucas had adored and Haley had loathed). It was enough to spark conversation between them, then genuine friendship. After school and on weekends, they would watch movies together or goof around on the nearby golf course.

But, naturally, this was all in middle school, a time where cattiness ran rampant. A year later, when Brooke came back to Haley remorseful and with tickets to the premiere of Freaky Friday as a peace offering, and rumors had begun to spring about how Lucas and Haley were doing it, the pair drifted apart. It had been a somewhat conscious decision on both their parts, and though they had remained friendly throughout the remainder of middle school and high school - bonded by books and honors courses - they were never as close as before.

So when Haley rang the doorbell, it was with some trepidation. It wasn't that she was shy exactly, but she never was the outgoing, take-charge Brooke type either. In the end though, it wasn't an awkward encounter with Lucas she had to worry about. Nathan was the one who answered the door.

The tight expression on his face seemed to indicate that he had been expecting someone else as well. As soon as his eyes fell on her, however, the lines dropped and his face went blank. "Oh," he said impassively, "you."

Immediately, Haley found herself getting irritated. "Yeah, me," she answered back shortly. "Are you this polite to everyone who comes to your house?"

A spark of life re-entered Nathan's eyes. "Well, usually, we invite the people who come knocking down our door at all hours of the day," he drawled.

"If you're implying that I'm a nuisance to try and get me to go away, it's not going to work," she said. "Your mother once told me that I had a standing invitation here."

"My mother tends to take pity on people like you," he returned. "But I guess I should follow her example and invite you in, right?" He took a step to the right and gestured grandly inside.

"How very polite of you," she said, thinly veiled aggravation creeping into her voice.

"I can do better," he said with a mocking grin. "Can I offer you a drink? Soda, maybe?" His eyes trailed down her figure suggestively. "Or, you know, water if you've finally decided to start counting those calories."

Haley knew she wasn't fat. She knew that Nathan knew she wasn't fat, and he was just saying it to be an ass. However, her next words still came out in a snarl. "I'm fine, thank you. What I could use though, is that CD you stole from Brooke."

Nathan laughed. "Sensitive, much? And seriously, take a look around. Does it look like I ever really have to steal anything? Brooke left her stupid CD here after she came to hook up with me a few days ago."

She shut her eyes and tried to remain calm. "Well, can you bring it to me?"

"Do I get anything in return?" he asked curiously.

She cracked open one eye in disbelief. "Yeah," she said. "I'll leave."

He shrugged and turned to the stairs. "I guess that's incentive enough."

It was exactly what she wanted him to do, but for some reason, that answer made Haley burn.

"Hey, princess," Jake said as Brooke slid back into her pool chair.

"Not now, pool boy," Brooke said impatiently, whipping out her cell phone. "I have to make a call."

He cocked a brow at her brusque treatment but said nothing, only watching as Brooke punched in the numbers on a sleek little toy that probably would have cost him a month's pay, at least.

"Hey, Bevvie," Brooke cooed into the phone when somebody, presumably Bevvie, picked up on the other end.

Brooke laughed at something the other girl said, but it was a short, almost bark of a sound that led Jake to believe that it may not have been genuine.

"Of course, I am," she continued with an impatient wave of the hand that Bevvie (that couldn't be her real name could it? Jake mused) was unable to see. "But yeah," - this was where her voice turned cold - "what's this I hear about Peyton being invited?"

There was a pause while Brooke listened to the girl explain herself. The pinched expression on Brooke's face hinted at an explosion soon to come.

"Bevin," she said harshly (so that was her real name, Jake realized, satisfied), "What did I say about her being blacklisted?"

Another pause. Whatever Bevin said made Brooke pull away and stare at her phone in disbelief, as if it was to blame for whatever words had come out of it.

"No, Bevin, blacklisted does not mean that Peyton has the hookups in the ghetto. There's not even a ghetto around here!"

Bevin said something and Brooke brought a hand up to cover her face, frustrated. "No, it means that Peyton doesn't have the hookups anywhere with anybody. Peyton isn't on the invite list for any party, period."

Silence, then, "I know she's on the invite list for your party, but she's not supposed to be. Take her off."

The next words out of Brooke's mouth came out shrill, nearly a shriek. "Then un-invite her!"

Fortunately, Bevin's sense of self-preservation finally seemed to kick in, because her next response appeared to soothe Brooke rather than drive her further into a fury.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. She'd be crazy to show up at a party where it's so obvious she's not welcome…Okay, bye, Bevvie. You too."

Brooke snapped her phone shut and took a deep breath. Then another.

"You really hate that girl, don't you?" Jake said, snapping her out of her reverie.

She stared at him blankly for a few seconds, then glanced at the phone in her hand. "Who, Bevin?" she said with a furrowed brow.

"No, Peyton," he said.

Her lips thinned into a stiff line. "We've already gone over this."

"Not really," he said.

"We've covered the main points," she said shortly. "You're the pool boy, I'm the boss. Therefore, we don't discuss things."

"Except you're not really the boss," he pointed out. "Your dad is."

"Yeah, well, Daddy's not around much, is he?" she snapped back. "So that kind of puts me in charge. Of the house, the maids, and you, specifically."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Get over yourself, princess."

Brooke's eyes, in turn, narrowed into slits. "Excuse me?"

"I said that you're not in charge of anything. I answer to the guy who pays my bills. Your father, specifically, among others."

"You can't talk to me like that."

"Brooke, seriously, get real. With all due respect, we're about the same age. Are you really going to parade around like you're so much better than me just because your dad makes more money than mine?"

"If you haven't noticed," she said condescendingly, "money's everything around here."

"It's sort of hard not to notice," he admitted. "But you always kind of hope to meet the people that are different. I guess you're not one of them."

Before Brooke could formulate a response, Jake shook his head and busied himself with other yard work duties. Vaguely, she mused that this was the first time she could remember not getting the last word in.

Haley scurried down the steps of the Scott entrance, Brooke's CD in hand. She promised herself right then and there that she would never volunteer to weather another encounter with Nathan Scott again. It wasn't that he intimidated her. No, she had stood up to much worse, included but not solely limited to the temper tantrum Brooke had pitched last year, when Haley had told her about the family trip to Europe her parents had planned for the entire summer, leaving them with no time to lay out by the pool or party together.

Rather, it was that Nathan, the bastard, was just so infuriating. He couldn't manage to be polite, or even civil, if his worthless existence depended on it. Which, obviously it didn't since the son of the bitch was still walking and talking and smirking every goddamn chance he got.

Haley was so harried by the encounter that she didn't notice the person walking up the opposite direction until it was too late. "Oomph," she gasped as she collided with someone much taller than her. The CD flew out of her hands and landed on the sidewalk below with a clatter.

"Whoa there," a very familiar voice said, his chest rumbling against her as she unburied her face from his shirt. "I'm sorry."

"No," Haley said, "it was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going and…" She trailed off as she met the amused eyes of her onetime good friend, Lucas Scott, carrying a twelve-pack of cokes in one hand.

She had been expecting it, of course, from the second she had heard him speak. However, it didn't make the encounter any less awkward or surprising, given the fact that she had just tried to bulldoze through him.

Lucas laughed. "Here let me get that for you," he offered, bending down to retrieve the CD she had dropped.

"Oh, no, I got it," she insisted, kneeling down as well.

Lucas's fingers, however, curled around it first, and he met her eyes with a playful smile as he held it out to her. "Guess I'm faster," he teased.

"You're a cheater," Haley grumbled as she took it from him. "You gave yourself a head start."

"That's the thanks I get for helping you out?" he said with a raised brow, pretending to be offended, as they both straightened themselves out. "Geez, remind me not to do it again."

"Well, if you're going to be so smug about it every time, then I will," she said.

The pair stared each other down for a few moments before simultaneously breaking out into laughter. "You're something else, Hales," he said.

"Surely, you've figured that out before now," she said jokingly.

"Yeah, yeah," he waved her off. "You're going to take charge of the world one day; we all know it."

"No," she corrected. "That would be Brooke. But I'll be the mastermind behind her campaign for world domination."

"Dimples and unchecked genius," he said, shaking his head. "An unbeatable, and scary, combination."

"Downright lethal," she agreed somberly.

Lucas laughed. "So not that I'm complaining, but what made you take a break from your master plan and come here? You haven't been around in a while. My mom's been asking about you."

"And you've told her all good stuff, I hope."

"You don't give me anything bad to say about you," he said, pretending to be frustrated. "But one day, one day I'll catch you doing something wrong, and I'll go straight to her with it."

"And she won't believe you," she returned primly.

"Probably not," he admitted.

The pair laughed again, and Haley was stricken by how easy their companionship was, even after years of negligible contact. "So," Lucas said as their laughter died down. "What brought you here anyway?"

"Oh," she said. "Actually, I came to see Nathan."

Lucas's expression darkened considerably. "And the procession continues," he muttered.

She swatted him lightly. "Don't even. You know I'm smarter than that. He just had something of Brooke's, and she didn't feel like coming back to get it."

"Oh," he said, obviously relieved. "Well, let her know that if she needs anything else, she can call me and I'll drop it off whenever. She doesn't have to keep sending you down here."

Haley raised a brow but didn't comment on any suspicions she may have had. "Thanks. I'll let Brooke know you offered."

He nodded with an easy smile. "And you, I don't want it to be another five years before my mother sees you again. You know she's a worrier. We need to hang out more often."

"Yeah," she said, returning his smile. "I'd like that."

"Good. I'll call you sometime this week," he said. "Are you going to Bevin's party?"

"Reluctantly. Brooke'll pitch a fit if I don't."

"Yeah, well, I'll be there standing around in a corner too. Dan Scott basically pushes Nathan and I out the door whenever he hears about a good party. It's all about making an impression, you know," he said, rolling his eyes. "So I'll see you there, and we'll make plans to meet up later?"

"Sounds good," she said. "Bye, Luke."

"See ya, Hales."