A/N: Yes, it's true. Idol parodies are officially everywhere. HA! This one is special; I'm not just spreading a scourge. I can tell – I can FEEL it, this is gonna be the next big thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Paolini's stuff… or Idol's stuff… I'm NOT Ryan Seacrest (not even I'm that scary)… is that it? Oh yeah, and I don't own Mel, Jessi, or Asmodeus. And while I'm here, special thanks to the aforementioned for not suing me and my friend Muggle at Heart for helping me with Eragon's OOC-ness.

…ONWARD!

The Games Begin

"Hello-ooo?" Eragon called, his voice echoing through the pitch-black, stadium-like room. He stumbled blindly through the darkness, followed closelyby his dragon, Saphira, his involuntary beloved, Arya, his grammar error, Elva as well as Orik, Angela, Solembum, and Roran and Katrina.

An oppressive silence hung in the air as the group clambered over what was apparently a metal platform. Eragon, in the dim light glimpsed a big, red button on a pedestal a few feet ahead. He marched up to it and pushed it without a second thought.

Suddenly the room was filled with swirling blue and white lights, blaring music, and the roar of the suddenly materialized crowd all around the stage that they found themselves standing on.

"What have you DONE, Argetlam?" Arya shouted mournfully over roar of the crowd, leaping down off of the stage as they desperately sought an escape route.

"I don't know, I just pushed that button over there!" Eragon cried earnestly, fighting to be heard, forcing his way brutally through the mob to keep up with the Elvish princess. Arya shot him a look that he could not interpret for all the world.

"I can't believe he effing PUSHED the big, red button!" Elva shouted from somewhere below his left knee, dodging the feet of the crowd right and left.

"I hate to say it –" Orik shouted, in a predicament similar to Elva's as they ducked safely out of the room into yet another dark and shadowy room. "But I have to agree with the lass on that one." He finished dully as Solembum joined them last, clumps of fur ripped from his coat by rabid fans. Elva ran forward to scoop him up, and everyone else slumped against the wall, panting breathlessly.

"Well, well, well…" Said a voice dripping with sarcasm. "What have we here?"

A figure came forward, summoning a burst of flame in his palm. The fire washed the room in a flickering orange-red light and a smirking Murtagh stood before them.

"Murtagh!" Eragon gasped, scandalized.

"Sharp as ever, Argetlam." The Twins said dryly, stepping into the circle oflight, soon followed by the large red dragon Thorn and a throatily chuckling Urgal leader.

"Oh, well, excu-use me, Mr. Older-than-thou!" Eragon said sulkily. "I didn't know this room had already been booked for a League of Evil meeting!"

"It's – It's not a League of Evil meeting!" Murtagh shouted, clenching his fists so hard his hands turned white.

"It's an Evil's Anonymous meeting?" Orik said quite seriously.

"NO! It's not anything—" Murtagh screamed, only to be cut off by a tall red haired figure entering the circle.

"We are looking for an egg." Durza drawled. "And I would venture…" He continued lazily, rounding on Eragon. "That you are here with a likewise aim."

"Oh…" Eragon said, scratching his head embarrassed. "Actually, we came here for a book-signing."

"A what?" Galbatorix asked curiously, closely followed by a large black dragon.

"Ah… you see, we're on tour…" Katrina said, carefully lining up the pads of her fingers, as Murtagh lit up the whole room.

"…And that explains the pink?" Durza asked dryly, gesturing at the pink clad crowd.

"Eragon couldn't get Arya to come…" Angela started angrily.

Unless he let her design the tour jackets… Solembum growled, glowering at Arya. She blushed, the jacket complimenting her complexion perfectly, unlike poor Orik, whose red hair clashed furiously with the rosy shade of his jacket.

"You mean… you don't have the last dragon egg?" Brom asked Galbatorix cautiously, materializing from nowhere.

"No… but— hey aren't you dead!" Murtagh yelled as the Ra'zac showed up as well, completing the circle.

"You mean you lot don't have the egg!" Nearly everyone in the room shouted and the room was filled with the sounds of angry bickering.

"Roran…" Katrina sighed pettishly, fainting as the Ra'zac glanced at her snidely. Roran caught Katrina before she hit the floor, but ruined the gesture by dropping her suddenly to catch Eragon who had also fainted at the sight of Brom.

"Dead people these days…" Roran muttered rebelliously, trying to revive his two charges in the chaos of the room.

"Pssst— Angela! —Angela over here!" Brom hissed, pulling her behind a table on its side. She looked at him sharply.

"You can shed some light-from-beyond-the-grave anytime now." Angela said wryly. He grinned at her sheepishly.

"Well, actually the only explanation for this is either apocalypse or somethingcalled fanfi…" Brom fortunately caught the spellbound look on Angela's face, getting serious. "Eh, I'll explain it later, but I think we might be able to get a few people out the back before—"

"Hello!" A short, frizzy-haired girl cried, popping up on the other side of the table and scaring the bejesus out of Brom and Angela. "Sorry to interrupt, but the show's about to start."

"The… show?" Brom winced.

"Yes, now hurry up." An equally short boy said sharply from behind her. Angela and Brom joined the recently reorganized circle.

"I'm Ryann Oceanwave also known as Pink!" The frizzy-haired girl said again. "Welcome to Alagaesian Idol!"

"Alagaesian what!" Murtagh cried.

"Idol." She said impatiently. "You'll all be singing, and the best one wins!" She looked uncertainly at the Jessi girl who nodded and the dark-haired boy muttered, "Suck-up."

"Anyways, these are your three judges. This is Mel—" She said pointing at the dark-haired girl.

"Yo dawgs." Mel said cheerfully.

"Jessi—" She said pointing at the waving girl. "And last and most certainly least, is Asmodeus. But you can call him Simon for now." The odd girl said exchanging glares with the evil boy. "Any questions?"

"Yeah." Elva said, the only one on the eye level of the four insane strangers. "Why do you expect us to comply?" The four exchanged overt malevolent glances.

"Well, I suppose you don't have to…" Mel sighed.

"…but you know that egg you've been after for a while? It just so happens we've got it…" Jessi said with a huge grin plastered across her face.

"…and it goes to the best singer." Asmodeus smirked, much to the dismay of the people crowded around them.

"Yeah, we figured that rider's are the closest things you lot have to celebrities anyway… and the third rider does tip the scales quite a bit…" Pink said thoughtfully, as Murtagh and Eragon preened subconsciously.

"I've got a question." Durza volunteered. "Isn't Ryan a guy's name?"

"NO! Ryann's a girl's name! I'm a girl! And you are up first Duzie!" Pink shouted angrily, catching the shade off-guard with the weird nickname and shoving him on stage.

"I guess this is war." Eragon said, finally coming to, offering his hand to Murtagh sportily.

"It always was war you idiot!" Murtagh spat, following the others into the main stadium. Eragon sighed and glanced at Asmodeus, who was watching them go and chuckling to himself.

"…Let the games begin."

--

A/N: Hurrah! Finally, I've posted my first (what I intend to be) humor fic. I was going to wait until I got permission from Mel to use her character… but I got bored. Kudos to my buds down at A Shadeslayer's Worst Fear for inspiring me.

Ciao, Pinky

P.S. Review. As of now your cursor is magnetically attracted to purple.