I wanted to write this story because I heard this song, and listened to it while looking over my other FOP story, "Thy Wish Be Done". I liked the melody of the song, so I looked up the lyrics on Google, and thought, "Hey, this might make an interesting FOP songfic." So here it is. If it doesn't turn out well, I might delete it. I don't really know how well it will be, since I didn't type it yet. I'm about to as soon as I finish this Author's Note. So, yeah. Ok, here we go. I hope this turns out to be a good songfic. It will most likely take a while to get to the song part, however. Yeah. If so, then sorry about that. But whatever.
For those of you who want to hear this song, go to Smashitsusa (don't 4get the dot com!) in the search bar, type in "Bring me to Life", and make sure you have the search engine set to 'Song'. The artist is Evanescence. Don't worry, you don't have to download anything, and it's free. So yeah, just so you know, in case you're concerned about that.
OR
Go to aol search. Then, above the search bar, click audio. Then, type in 'Bring me to life'. Then, pick whichever one you want, because most likely, you'll get a lot of songs similar to that.
Just make sure that you pick the one by Evanescence, ok? lol.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show or characters from Fairly Odd Parents.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the song "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence.
So don't try to sue me.
Oh, and so you know, I don't drink. I've never been to a wild party or anything. So if this party is portrayed inaccurately, just give me tips, not accusations. I'm using movies I've seen as a guide here. So it probably won't be too good. I dunno. You be the judge.
Tootie stood in the corner, not saying a word. Her black hair flowed to just below her shoulders, and her glasses were gone. Her braces were gone. She wore a black spaghetti strap tank top which showed off her soft curves, and a whitejeanmini-skirt with silver buckles on the sides, which displayed her long legs. On her feet were strappy black sandals. Over the years, she had developed into a beautiful young woman of 17 years old. Yet nobody in the crowded room said so much as a word to her. It was as if she wasn't there.
She sighed, and looked around the living room. It was Trixie Tang's living room. What am I doing here? I don't belong here. She shifted from her left foot to her right. Never in her life had she ever cared that people ignored her. But when she had hit high school, she cared a lot. She wanted to be accepted. So she changed her look. She ditched the glasses, and the schoolgirl outfit in trade for some outfits that--according to all the magazines she saw-- were more "high school appropriate". She never felt comfortable in them, but she stuck it out. For three long years, she dealt with it. Now she was a Junior in high school, and the clothes didn't bother her. But surveying the room, filled with drunken guys and girls, filled with guys hitting on the girls bumping and grinding on the dance floor made Tootie uncomfortable. Nonetheless, she wasn't too worried since everyone ignored her.
A few days ago, she had come to the realization that back in elementary and middle school, she had had friends. People talked to her. But since she had changed herself to be accepted, nobody talked to her. Those who had before felt betrayed. Those who didn't mistaked her trying to make friends as a pathetic attempt to be popular.
She gasped as she saw a boy and girl on the sofa make out passionately. She didn't want to see this. She started to walk, finally leaving the corner. A couple took her place, the blonde girl against the wall, her shirt being lifted abover her head. Tootie stared at them, wide-eyed, then turned and started walking faster. A guy whistled at her.
"Hey, sexy! Lookin' good!" he grinned and let out a wolfish howl. Tootie felt uncomfortable, but faked a smile. Still, she blushed. It felt good to be noticed...finally. She looked around. Was there anyone here who wasn't acting secularly? But then, this was a high school party. Trixie Tang's party no less. Her parties were always wild. Her parents always had a crapload of beer, and since they were always out of town, Trixie always had a party. Three times a week to be exact. And at each one, she got herself pathetically wasted, and --being the attention seeker that she is-- always danced on a table, removing her clothes until she was in nothing but her top and whatever slutty thong she had put on that day.
That was probably why so many people showed up, Tootie mused.
She sat on the floor, feeling defeated. Why had she even come to the party? She hadn't even been invited. She was sick of doing nothing on Saturdays. So she had snuck into the party. It's funny how something that seems good is always stupid when you actually do it. She stood up again, her hair flying around her shoulders. She felt a hand on her bottom, and jumped, shrieking. A guy laughed. She looked at him. He and his friend were laughing. So once again, she forced a laugh, and winked at the guy, running into the crowd so he wouldn't ask her name or anything. She fought her way through the thick, wild crowd of untamable high schoolers. They were bumping and grinding, laughing, and drinking. When she finally emerged, she ran to the glass sliding doors that led to the pool. The people were equally wild, but still, she forced herself to sit on one of the lawn chairs. Shutting her eyes, Tootie wished she had just stayed home and daydreamed about Timmy.
Timmy had grown his hair out into the "skater boy style", which was popular in Dimmsdale at the moment. He got rid of the pink hat, and now was more interested in wearing sports jerseys and sports t-shirts with jeans.
A rosy pink blush rose to her inncocent cheeks as she thought of him. A smile brightened her face. A splash of cold water brought her back to reality, and once again, she was in the backyard alcove that held the swimming pool and lawn chairs and tables. She looked down at her clothes. Her top clung to her, and you could see her legs through her skirt, which stuck to her legs.
"Hey!" she cried. Two guys climbed out of the pool.
The brunette smiled, "Uh...sorry. But that's what you get when you sit so close."
"Yeah," the other guy, who had a shaven head agreed," and when you get wet, you might as well be in the pool!" He grabbed her legs and laughed. The brunette laughed too and grabbed her by her arms. They both laughed and the other people in the pool whooped and cheered, chanting "Dip her! Dip her! Dip her!"
"Put me down!" she squirmed as they lifted her up. The teens in the pool went wild.
The two boys carried her to the side of the pool.
"NO!" she screamed. "Don't! LET ME DOWN! STOP!" the two boys rocked her back and forth, and finally released her. She screamed as she went flying into the pool. She heard the others in the pool go completely insane, and then, she heard nothing but the water that surrounded her. She gasped as she stood up, and wiped her hair out of her face, stunned. She was completely soaked. She walked out of the pool as people cheered. Some even congratulated her. One boy clapped her on the back. "Way to go!" he cheered.
She climbed the wet metal ladder and walked back into the party indoors. She growled bitterly. She had gotten her wish. She was fitting in. Guys were flirting, and she was getting messed with. She hated it. As she spun in a circle, trying to find the front doors, she felt a hand on her arm. She turned around to find a cute guy with black hair smiling. "Hey, you have to play with us. Everyone's playing!" he dragged her through the dancing crowd to the large, dark green leather sofa, where about 20 of the 324 guests were. Reluctantly, she sat down.
One of the guys was on she was surprised to see.
"Chester!" she stared in awe. The blonde boy still had his braces, but he wasn't scrawny anymore. His arms were well toned, and he had a cute face. Which didn't surprise her. She was him every day in homeroom. She was stunned to see him here. "Why are you here?"
"Same reason as you. To party!" he yelled, grinning, causing the whole group to whoop loudly.
"Ok," said one of the girls. She had black hair, and heavy mascara. She was dressed in a tight blue t-shirt, and a super micro miniskirt. She smiled, "This is called "Alphabet". We go in a circle. One of us starts. We say the name of a city that begins with the letter 'A'. Then, we all name one for 'B', and so on. Whoever can't think of one has to chug 2 beers. Then..." she grinned devilishly," they have to do whatever we say."
Tootie gulped. She was never good with geography. None the less, she managed to come up with "Arkansas." Everyone was too drunk to notice she had named a state instead of a city. Then came 'B'. She drew a blank. What cities began with a B?
"You have to chug!" the dark haired girl told Tootie. Tootie slowly got off the sofa, and sat on the floor. She picked up the clear tube, and put it in her mouth. The girl put a funnel on the other end, and started pouring beer into it. She watched as the golden yellow liquid made its way down the tube, towards her waiting mouth. She wasn't sure about this. But it was too late. The bitter liquid filled her mouth. She spit it out, coughing. She almost choked.
"No cheating!" the girl cried. "Start over."
Tootie sighed, and placed the tube back in her mouth. The liquid tasted bitter, and made her feel warm, but she swallowed it anyway, for fear of having to do it again. After what seemed like an eternity, the beer stopped coming into her mouth. She felt light headed. Her vision was slightly obscured. She stood up, and stumbled. A giggle spilled from her mouth. It was light, airy, and blissful. She looked around at the people cheering for her. It was strange. The beer was disgusting. Yet, she wanted more. She liked how she was starting to feel. She felt a little happier, not as worried. She started to pickup the tube again, but a small part of her told her not to. She ignored it, the alcohol starting to kick in. She plopped to the floor, and put the tube in her mouth again.
"Uh-oh, she wants more!" one guy laughed. "I may need to be alone with her for a while after this!" he laughed. And so did Tootie. She smiled when the girl reattached the funnel, and more beer flowed into Tootie's mouth. She swallowed it gratefully. She felt lighter and lighter. She could feel her cares literally lift off of her. She could barely see straight. She stood up and stumbled away, laughing.
After 15 more minutes, she had had 3 more cans of beer, and was now ridiculously drunk. She found herself flirting uncontrollably with guys she didn't even know, dancing with random people, and even giving a kiss to the brunette boy who had thrown her in the pool.
And now, she grinned as she stared down at the crowd of people. Everyone was dancing, but many were cheering as they watched her. She stood atop a table, spinning in circles, swiveling her hips in a suggestive manner. She started to peel off her tank top. People cheered as her stomach was slowly revealed. Before the top was off, she felt someone tap her leg. She looked down, and climbed off the table, where she was face to face with Trixie. She didn't look happy.
"What the hell!" she spoke angrily, her voice slurred. She was wasted too." You get out of my limelight!"
Tootie reached out and slapped her.Trixie shrieked and tackled her to the floor, pulling her hair. Tootie screamed and started hitting Trixie. They were both rolling on the floor, hitting each other.
"I hate you! You're such a bitch!"Tootie was angry, but didn't know why. She had never liked Trixie. Now was her chance to show it. They continued "fighting" drunkenly until someone pulled Tootie off of Trixie. Tootie struggled in the tight grasp. She wanted to get back to Trixie, to hit her some more. They were both letting loose with strings of wild obscenities, things Tootie would never say if she were sober.
She screamed as the boy let go of her, and gasped. "Timmy?" she spoke with a slurred voice.
He said nothing. He took her hand and sat her down on the couch before sitting down next to her. She stared at him. "I love you so much."
He didn't respond. He just looked at her. She could feel anger rising inside of her. She jabbed his chest with her finger.
"FINE! YOU CAN DENY ME ALL YOU WANT! YOU'RE A BASTARD! I DON'T KNOW WHY---" She passed out.
ooooooooooooo
A few hours later, Tootie opened her eyes groggily. It was 2:34 in the morning and the party was still in full steam, if not wilder. She wasn't as drunk as before, but she was still drunk. She looked up. Timmy was still there, holding a glass of water. He handed it to her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked taking a sip of the water.
"I always go to Trixie's parties. I mean...look at you! You're drunk! I mean, I have a few drinks, but never more than two! I have the sense not to. I thought you did too." he looked at her. She was so pretty. He knew she was still drunk. He really wanted to just kiss her...
He shook his head." I can't believe you!"
Tootie stared at him. She wasn't listening to a word. She was only aware of the fact that he had his arm around her, and that his lips looked really kissable. She looked up from his mouth to his blue eyes. She stared into them. Timmy stopped talking and stared back. "You're not listening, are you?"
"Of course, silly willy bear!" she laughed and poked him in the chest. She rocked back and forth in a dizzy manner." You know," she grinned," You are soooo mean! You were always mean to me…" she giggled drunkenly," But I still love you." she said. Her voice was slightly slurred, and she smiled, leaning forward. She pressed her lips against his, and shut her eyes. Finally, she was triumphant! Or not.
Timmy pushed her back gently, so her lips couldn't kiss him. He stared at her. "What are you doing? Have you lost your mind completely?"
Tootie stared at him. She could feel logic slowly returning, even if full soberness hadn't. What am I doing? She felt panic rise in her. She couldn't really remember much. She could remember kissing some brunette boy. She remembered fighting with Trixie, who was now performing her show on the table. She remembered flirting. She remembered screaming. She remembered telling Timmy she loved him. If I did all that...then what else did I do?
She looked at Timmy, who was staring at her. She felt her stomach twist sickly.
How could she have been so stupid? She should've known that trying to fit in would go too far. She had been so busy trying to fit in with these people that she had lost sight of who she was. She looked at Timmy.
"I don't know myself anymore!" she whimpered, bouncing up and down like a small child. Timmy stared at her in surprise. "Ok, first of all...what! And second of all, yeah, you are definitely still drunk."
She stood up, surprising Timmy. She looked at him. She could feel her face getting warm, and her eyes burning. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I...I have to go!" she turned and ran into the crowd, the loud music pulsating through her body as she fought through. She shoved people out of her way as she breathed heavily. What was wrong with her? She blinked rapidly to hold back tears. After a good three minutes of crowd fighting, she finally pushed past an unruly girl and fell to the floor. She scrambled to her feet and ran to the front door. She pulled it open, and ran outside, sprinting across the lawn. She didn't even bother to shut the door. She just ran. Finally, she reached her car, a white focus. She pulled out her keys and climbed into her car. After fumbling with the keys, she turned on the ignition and pulled out of the large driveway, speeding away. She could barely see anything in the darkened suburban road, and the tears that were welling up in her eyes didn't help. She blinked rapidly to hold the tears back, but it didn't work. She let the tears stream down her face as she cried quietly. She kept her eyes on the road, determined to stop crying, but the guilt was building up fast.
How could I have been so stupid? So dumb? Why did I try to fit in where I didn't belong? What did I get myself into? What's happening to me? Why? Why? Why?
She immediately had vague memories of flirting with several guys, and even kissing one of them. She remembered kissing Timmy, and him pushing her away, looking at her with concern and disappointment.
Then she remembered why she'd gone to the party in the first place.
She had been thinking up ways to get Timmy to like her. She wasn't as stalkerish, but she wanted him to notice her. She knew he liked Trixie, and she knew that Trixie threw parties at least 3 times a week. So logic says that Timmy probably is at her parties. She wanted to casually bump into him while she was wearing her sexy black and white outfit. That was why she went.
She had gone to the party because she wanted to fit in with people. She wanted to be accepted. She was tired of being known as the freak. That was why she went.
Tootie felt an unfamiliar rage rise within her as she drove. She still cried, gripping the steering wheel tightly, letting out shrieks of rage in between sobs. She felt herself get angrier as she continued to think. I've been known as a freak for my whole life. Then, I try to fit in, and now I'm probably known as a slut! Who knows what I did? I know I didn't sleep with anyone, but still, I might have flirted a lot. Why can't people just accept me! I'm so sick of being known as a freak! I'm not a freak! I'm not!
The streets seemed to twist and curve in front of her. Her vision was still obscured. She realized she was still a little drunk. She didn't care. She sped up the car, and reached over to turn on the radio. She was in the mood for something depressing. It didn't take her long to find the heavy metal music.
She sped through the dark suburban streets, filled with rage and shame, not yet ready to go home. She sped past her own street, and started to drive even faster. She felt that even though everyone was sleeping, they could see her. They could sense the foolish things she had done. She had to get away from the accusing eyes. She had to get away from them all.
Especially Timmy. His blue eyes were tattooed into her memory. All she could see was his blue eyes staring at her.
How can you see into my eyes
like open doors?
Lading you down to my core,
where I've become so numb.
She shut her eyes, but immediately opened them. She slowed down the car. The last thing she needed to top off a perfect night was to get arrested for driving under the influence. She looked down at her legs, wishing she could disappear. When had her life taken this sudden twist? When had she turned from sweet, innocent Tootie to this drunken Tootie that she didn't even know? Had it happened overnight? She certainly hadn't felt like this for the first 3 hours of the party. Why had she even gone?
She was jolted out of her thoughts by a strange sound. It sounded like a horn. She saw a light out of the corner of her eye. She looked out her window and gasped. She saw bright light coming towards her. They were getting closer and closer until she was blinded. The horn never stopped honking, and she heard their tires screech. That was all she saw and heard. She didn't even have a chance to scream before she felt as if the world collapsed in and crushed her, deeming her unconscious.
"Somebody get her out of there now!"
The sirens were blaring loudly as the ambulance pulled to a stop. In nearby houses, windows were brightening as people turned on their lights and ran outside.
Awoman checked on the man driving the SUV. He was ok. He walked over to the white Focus. The side that had been hit was pushed far into the interior of the car. Two men were prying the door off, and trying to pull out the side of the car.
The two men carefully lifted a girl out of the car. She was covered in blood, with several cuts. People from the houses gasped and murmured in horror as the police instructed them to go back to bed.
The girl was lying on a stretcher. 3 people from the ambulance were getting to work giving her an oxygen mask, and starting to stitch up some of the minor cuts.
A voice on the communication radio spoke, "We have a teenage female, most likely DUI, hit by a car on her left side. Things are looking bad."
"Her blood pressure is falling."
"Subject is in and out of consciousness. We're going to start as soon as we get her in the truck."
"Chances of survival are slim."
A man shut the doors to the back of the ambulance
The ambulance sped off, siren blaring loudly.
Timmy sat with Tootie's parents, and his own. He paced around the waiting room nervously. He remembered how Tootie had looked so ashamed and horrified when she woke up at the party, and how she had stood up." I...I have to go!" she had said quickly, and before he could say anything, she ran.
The doctor came out and walked over to them. "She endured some serious injuries, and is in critical condition. She suffered from a blow to the head, and has been drifting in and out of consciousness. She's in a very deep coma right now. She could be in it for a very long time. However--and it's almost impossible to tell right now-- she should live. She has some serious injuries, but they'll heal over time. Now, I'm going to tell you now : it will be a long healing process, and she may not be able to walk anymore. But we can't make any real predictions until further down the path."
Tootie's parents nodded gravely, and Mr. and Mrs. Turner stared at the floor. Timmy sighed. What had possessed Tootie to drive under the influence? What had made her drink in the first place? What had made her even go to the party? The thought made him guilty. He knew he shouldn't have even been at the party himself; he hadn't been invited, and his parents never approved of the wild parties Trixie Tang threw.
The doctor kept talking to Tootie and his parents, and he walked up to the counter. The woman looked at him boredly. "Can I help you?"
"Um...Tootie Flanagan, please?"
"4th floor, room 412."
Timmy nodded and walked towards the elevators. He pushed the 4th floor, and felt sick when the elevator lurched to a stop. He hadn't even noticed it had started. The doors opened to a wide hallway. He took a deep breath and walked down the hallway, turned let, then left again, then right. He looked up and saw a poster. It had handprints of many small children, in different colors: blue, yellow, green, red, orange, etc. On top of the poster it said, "What would you do to save the life of a child? Be an organ donor"
The poster bought a new worry to his mind. What if one of Tootie's organs failed? He took a deep breath and continued down the hallway. He noticed that the wall was glass. Am I in the maternity ward? He looked through the glass window, and saw not babies, but a middle-aged man. The room was white, and the only thing in the room was the bed and machines that he was attached to. He continued, and there was another room, just as the first. This one housed a little girl, about 6 years of age. She was coughing violent, and was pale with black and blue bruises all over her arms. Timmy shook his head sadly. He realized that these were the rooms that were for critically conditioned patients. The rooms had to be kept sterile. Any sorry of germs could make the patients condition worse. He continued down that hallway, and stopped in his tracks. He stared through the glass in disbelief.
There was a teenage girl lying in the bed motionless. Her raven hair was tousled, and tangled. She was deathly pale, so her black eyelashes looked even darker against her skin. She had a black eye, and her arms were covered with brown bruises, and black and blue marks. Her arms were also covered in stitches, and traces of blood still lingered on her skin. Her head was wrapped in a bandage. A red spot covered the side of it, where she had been bleeding. There were tubes going into her nose. An oxygen mask covered her mouth. There were several needles in each arm, and they had cords leading to machines. One of the machine cords went under the covers, around her stomach area, he presumed. A bag dripped fluid into a needle in the back of her hand, and Timmy could make out the form of a cast on her leg under the sheets. The heart monitor's line moved up and down at a fairly steady rate.
It was Tootie.
He stared at her. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to. He wanted to walk away, back to the waiting room. He hated seeing her like that.
He stayed anyway. He watched her lay there, not moving at all. He knew she was in a coma, but he wondered what she was dreaming.
Tootie sat up and looked around. Where was she? She was in nothingness. She was surrounded by swirling colors. Pastel blues, light purples, and light greens swirled and mixed together around her. She was in an empty, colorful universe. It had no depth, yet it had a lot of depth. She stood up warily, and looked down at herself. She was dressed in a hospital gown, but she had no scratches, aches or pains. She spun in a circle.
"Hello?" the word echoed until it faded away. Even then, it hung in the air, a reminder that she was alone. Alone in a world of nothingness. She walked forward, looking for something other that the swirling colors surrounding her.
"Why am I here?" she ran a nervous hand through her hair. She had a scared feeling that she was trapped. She looked straight. She saw a tiny speck of white. It was like a tiny speck, hardly visible. She took a step backwards and she couldn't see it anymore. She took another step forward, and the speck was barely visible. She looked around her. There was nothing but color. She looked back towards the micro speck of white. She didn't know what it was. But whatever it was, there was something there. She started to walk towards it. She knew it would take a long time, but she didn't care.
An hour later, the tiny white speck was still as tiny as it had been. But something flashed past her. She gasped and stared at it. It was a white square. Suddenly, it showed yellow lights moving closer until finally, all you saw was bright light. The sound of tires screeching filled the air, and then a crash.
She gasped as the square flashed away. She shuddered, and kept walking. Another image flashed before her. She saw an ambulance, its lights flashing. Two men pried open the door of a destroyed car, and pulled out a girl, covered in blood, her body mangled.
"T-that looks like..." she gasped."...me."
She took a deep breath. She was in a coma. She knew it. She started to cry as she walked towards the tiny white speck far off in the distance. The farther she walked, the more she remembered. A party. Falling in water. Drinking beer from a tube. Dancing on a table. Trying to fit in. She had lost her true self.
Without a soul,
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,
until you find it there and lead it back
Home.
4 months later...
Timmy pulled his car up to the hospital. He pulled into a parking space, and ran through the hospital doors. When he reached the elevator, he pushed the button over and over until the doors opened. After an eternity, he finally reached the 2nd floor. He ran down the hallway to room 243. He burst through the doors to see Tootie's parents, standing with the doctor. They were next to a bed, where Tootie lay. All of the tubes had been removed, except for the one that was in her nose, and her feeding tube. She had one IV needle in her arm, and the bandage was removed from her head. The casts that had held together broken bones were no longer necessary. But she was still in a coma. A very deep coma. Timmy walked in to hear what the doctor was saying.
"...bones have healed nicely. Her internal organs had suffered from damage, but they have healed also. She shouldn't be in need of any transplants. She should wake up in about a month or two. But if she doesn't wake up after two months, she may not ever wake up. And we might not have any other options other than to remove her from the machines."
Tootie's mother gasped, and tears fell from her eyes. The doctor patted her shoulder. "We don't have to worry about that, however. At the rate she's going, she should wake up. And of course, we'll have to monitor her for 6 to 9 months, but she should be healthy again."
The doctor led the worried parents away from the room, and took them to his office to continue the discussion. Timmy sat down in a chair next to Tootie. He looked at her. She looked like Snow White. Dead, yet alive. All hope wasn't lost yet. He smiled. "Hey. I uh...I heard that talking to people in a coma wakes them up. Or helps. Or something. The doctor says that even if you do wake up, you won't be able to walk again."
He placed the roses he held in his hand in a vase next to her bed.
"People are missing you. You're not there to bug me anymore." he chuckled. "You won't believe what's happened. Mr. Crocker has transferred to the high school. He's now my history teacher, since Ms. Garranza had her baby. She'll be gone for the rest of the year. So guess who we have for history now? I can't wait for you to come back to school. Mr. Crocker is even stupider than before. He's paranoid about everything now. It's hilarious!" he laughed again, and took Tootie's hand. He stared at it. He hadn't realized how pale she still was until he held her hand in his. Her skin was soft, and warm. He sighed.
"We all miss you. On the Monday after your accident, they put it on the student news. Everyone made you cards and sent you bears and stuff. I wish you could see it. Then you would see that people like you. People have always liked you. It's just that they never want to say anything. You know, with the 'social status' and all that junk. But you have a lot of secret friends."
He stood up, still holding her hand. Then, he sat back down. "Oh, and I thought about what you said the night of the party. Well, the morning. Whatever. Anyways, you were right. I was always mean to you. I always ignored you. I don't know why. I just...I thought that maybe if I ignored you for long enough, you would get over me and move on. But I was wrong. And I was immature to drag that elementary theory with me up until now. I mean, we're 17! " he looked down." I don't know, I just thought that you would always be Tootie, the annoying girl. But I was so wrong. I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me. I hope you wake up. And I hope you realize that you don't need to become a party girl to get attention.
"Maybe that was your own fault. Or maybe it was everyone's fault, including mine. We all ignored you to the point that you felt you had to change to be somebody. But we influenced you the wrong way. You already area somebody. And you're a somebody that matters. So please, please wake up soon."
He gently placed her hand back on the bed, and kissed her forehead. Then, he turned. When he reached the doorway, he paused. "I know you probably didn't hear a word of that. But I needed to say it. Don't worry, I'll say it again when you wake up." He walked out of the room. A few minutes later, a doctor walked in.
Tootie stood still, staring up, her head cocked to the side. She had heard every word. He had said it a while ago, but she could still hear every word. She looked back to where the white speck was. It was bigger. She was getting closer to it! She smiled and started walking again. She remembered what he had said. " I heard that talking to people in a coma wakes them up..."
(Wake me up!)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me!)
Call my name and save me from the dark.
(wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become.
She felt a warm feeling as she walked, thinking of the sweet things he said. Another wave of heat splashed over her. He wanted to wake her up!
She felt a warm, fuzzy sensation.
The doctor smiled as he made a mark on his clipboard. Her heart pattern on the monitor had changed. The line moved normally. Then, when it moved up, it moved exceptionally high, then went back to normal again. He continued watching. It didn't happen again. "This is good," he continued to scribble something down on the clipboard, "This is very good." He placed the board back on the foot of her bed, and left.
Tootie felt angry. Angry at herself. How could she have let things go so far that she would end up like this? She couldn't believe how shallow she had tried to be. It wasn't her! She wasn't shallow. Why did she try? She knew she was meant to be a sweet girl, a girl who would be kind to everyone, help anyone in need. And she was proud of it. Why hadn't she been proud of it then? Why had it taken her so long to figure this out? She had changed, and lost her true self in the process. She hoped Timmy wouldn't remember this and stop talking to her while she was in this state.
Now that I know what I'm without,
You can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real.
Bring me to life.
January 13th
Tootie has been showing significant progress. She has moved her fingers slightly. We are going to try a few tests, to see if she responds when her name is called.
Tootie was much closer to the white speck. She could see something through it. She couldn't make out what it was, though. She had also made another discovery. She looked behind her. Lately, whenever she looked behind her, she could see black speck. Well, what used to be a speck. But it had gotten bigger. It was spreading, swallowing all of the colors. It spread slowly, but fat enough that she could see it move. It seemed to be following her. She was scared to see what would happen if it ever caught up to her. She turned away and kept walking. She wasn't going to get that dark thing catch up to her.
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become
January 15th
We have performed the test several times. She doesn't yet respond to her name. However, she has moved her foot.
February 12th
Tootie is now able to shift herself, and turn. She has turned from lying on her back to lying on her stomach. She is still in the coma, and won't wake up.
Tootie smiled triumphantly. It had taken an eternity. But now, she was much closer to the white speck. She could see that it wasn't a speck, but an opening. Through the opening, she could make out houses, and a street. It was her street. Her neighborhood. Light from the sun streamed in through the opening, which was why everything had seemed white. She ran towards it. She knew it couldn't be long now. She started running towards the opening. It was so close that she could feel it. She could hardly wait to step through, and see what was on the other side.
As she ran, she made a decision. "I'm never going to be anyone but me. I'm not a party girl. I'm just me! I'm going to be me. I've been acting like someone I'm not." a sheer look of determination was on her face as shestrongly saidtwo words,"No more."
Bring me to life.
(I've been living a lie.
There's nothing inside)
Bring me to life.
Tootie ran as fast as she could. She was almost there. Just 30 more feet or so! She was so close. She smiled. She was about to run through the portal, but she slammed into something. She tumbled backwards, and lay there. Finally after the shock had worn off, she stood up, and walked back to the opening. Slowly, she reached out, but something stopped her just as her hand was about to go through the portal. She gasped, and balled her hand into a fist, banging against the invisible boundary. She screamed, "NO! OPEN!" She continued to hit it, feeling angrier by the second. She had worked so hard! She had come so far! And for WHAT! She turned around. The darkness was close. It wouldn't be long before it swallowed the portal, and did who knows what to Tootie. She turned back around and kept hitting the invisibleboundary.
Timmy felt terrible. He hadn't visited for a long time. At least two weeks. He had made a mental promise to visit Tootie every day. And he had broken it. He looked at her. She seemed paler than she had been before.
February 27thTootie had been doing well, but now she's going downhill. She hasn't moved in at least two weeks, and she hasn't done anything unusual for a person in comatose. The two months are almost up. After 6 months in a coma, the person normally dies. It's possible she's dying already, considering nothing has been happening with her. We sensed no movements in certain parts of her brain after her CAT scan. It was very odd. It's as if her brain is slowly deteriorating, but her brain is ok. It may be that functions are starting to fail her. We believe she is dying. If she isn't awake by April 10th, we'll have to unhook her from the machines.
Tootie hadn't heard Timmy talking to her in a long time. She felt terrible. The darkness was almost on her. She realized what it was a few days ago: death. She had been banging on the invisible boundary that kept her trapped for days. And now, even worse, the opening was starting to shrink. She was doomed and she knew it. She kept banging on the opening, though. She wasn't going to lose hope. She would just have to make it without Timmy. She knew it probably wasn't his fault. He had done everything. He held her hand, talked to her, and even given her a kiss on the forehead. What else could he do? He had helped her to come this far. He had kept her alive. But still, it felt as if something was missing.
Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
March 13th
Tootie is getting farther and farther away from us. She hasn't fallen deeper into her coma, but she has, however stopped making any movements whatsoever. She is now in a vegetative state. Only a few more weeks and we have to unhook her. Hopefully, she'll be awake before then.
Timmy ran into the hospital room. It was March 28, and Tootie still wasn't awake. She had only 3 more days until they pulled the plug on her. But it looked like she was going to die before then. Her heart rate had slowed down, and she wasn't doing anything at all. He sat there and held her hand.
Tootie hit the boundary with more force than ever. The opening was getting smaller still. The darkness, which she had identified to be death, was very near. She knew she had to get through that opening if she wanted to survive. But it seemed that the closer the darkness got, the smaller the opening got. She hit it with more force, and finally, the boundary rippled, like liquid glass. She hit it again. It rippled again. Her hand felt warm. She realized that Timmy was holding her hand. She smiled. He was back. She paused and placed a hand at her heart. Timmy has always been there, she realized. In my heart.
(All of this sight,
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me)
Timmy spoke desperately. "Please, wake up. If you don't wake up today, they're gonna pull the plug on you!" He looked at the heart monitor, "Please don't die."
He noticed that her heartbeat was a bit stronger, but now much. It was now March 31. He knew she had to wake up today. He was going to stay with her the whole day, and night. He wasn't going to leave.
ooooooooooo
Timmy sat up groggily. It was April 1st. He was still in Tootie's room, still holding her hands. He looked at the heart monitor. It was acting strangely. Her heart would beat normally, then it would beat really fast. Then, it'd beat normally, then too slowly, then too fast, then to weakly, then normally, then too weakly again. The doctor walked in.
"We're going to have to remove her."
"No!" Timmy yelled. "Please don't!"
"There's nothing else we can do. I'm sorry."
Tootie could feel pulsations running through her body like crazy. Fast, slow, harsh, gently...what was going on?The darkness was right there. She beat against the boundary again, and it finally gave in, and shattered. The opening was small. She didn't know if she could make it through. She dropped to lay on her stomach, and crawled through as fast as she could. The opening was still shrinking around her. She could feel it as it slowly and gently touched her back. "No, please don't close in on me!" she whispered. She tried to go faster. She knew that death was right behind her. The black nothingness was still there, and it was going to eat the opening, with her halfway through it. She had a look of determination on her face. She hadn't come this far to die. She wasn't going to let herself die. She had to get through that opening. She had to get to a reality that might not be the one she used to be in, but one that was safer, away from all of this. She stared at the neighborhood in front of her. It looked so real. "Maybe I wasn't in a coma after all! Maybe I was just in an alternate universe." she thought. Her thoughts started becoming scrambled as she attempted to make sense out of these strange events that were happening. "Maybe I was never in a car crash. Maybe I'm not even in any danger. But still, I have to get out of here."
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
(Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more).
Bring me to life.
Timmy grabbed the doctor by his shoulders, and yelled. "NO! Give her a chance! Let her live! Don't do this! PLEASE! At least let her die naturally!"
The doctor moved out of Timmy's grip. "I have no choice. I don't want to do this!"
"Then don't do it!" Timmy ran to him, and pulled him back, trying to push him out of the door.
Tootie screamed. Darkness was starting to swallow the opening. She felt her foot being pulled, as if someone was trying to pull her back through. She put her hands on the side of the opening and pushed her hands against it, to pull herself through. "NO!" she screamed, "Let GO! NOO!" she screamed.
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
Tootie knew Timmy was there. She could hear him. He was yelling, for some reason. She heard someone else yelling too. She listened as she struggled, and immediately knew what was missing. Timmy had never said her name while she was like this. Well, he had, but he never said it like he needed her. She needed to know she was needed. The opening started to open, and she was able to get on her knees. She was being pulled backwards. She screamed again. "NO! HELP ME! PLEASE! NO!"
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(Wake me up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
Timmy held the doctor's arm tightly. He wasn't going to let him hurt Tootie. "No!" He yelled. He grunted in his attempt to wrestle the man to the ground, mildly surprised that he wasn't screaming for security to take him away.
Tootie screamed as she was pulled farther back. She tried to grab at the opening, but it started to shrink again.
I've been living a lie.
Tootie tried to kick, but she couldn't feel anything anymore. She looked over her shoulder. The darkness was crawling slowly up her legs. "NO!"
There's nothing inside.
Timmy grunted as the man sat him down in a chair, and walked over to the comatose girl. "No!" Timmy gasped, "Tootie!"
Bring me to life.
Tootie heard it echo around her, and it stayed in her ears. She felt warm again. She didn't feel anything pulling her back. She looked behind her and gasped. The darkness was still creeping up her leg. She tried in effort to move her legs. She sighed. "I don't need my legs to move!" she yelled. "You're not going to stop me!" She grabbed at the entrance to the opening, and pulled herself through. She was halfway through. The darkness was still swallowing her, and was up to her knees now. She grunted with effort as she pulled herself through more.
Timmy and the doctor both froze as the heart monitor started beeping faster than ever. It was off the charts. Then, it started to beat very slowly. Too slowly. Timmy stared at Tootie with wide eyes, and ran over to her bed. He took her hand. "No. Please don't die. Please don't."
Tootie struggled to pull herself through. She couldn't do it. But she had to try. She felt her hands heating up. Why were they getting so warm? She felt pain shooting through her hands. They felt as if they were on fire.
Timmy looked at Tootie. She had just squeezed his hand, slightly, gently. She had moved. He looked at the doctor. "She moved! She just squeezed my hand!"
The doctor looked over at the heart monitor. The beeping was slowing down even more. A lot slower than it should've been. He looked over at Timmy, and Timmy looked at Tootie.
Tootie strained with all of her worth to pull herself through. The darkness was making it's way up her body. It was at her stomach. She gasped, as she fell. She landed in the middle of the street. She looked down. The darkness dissolved off of her legs. She stood up," At last. I made it." She ran down the street, looking around. Then, she froze. Everythingwas quiet. Dead quiet.She looked around at the houses. There were no sounds. No birds chirping in the trees...the wind wasn't even blowing. She walked up to a house and reached for the door.A gasp escaped her as her hand went through the door. She stared at it. Where was she?She walked up to other houses and trees to touch them, and got the same effect. She went through them.
"Am I dead?" she asked. "What's going on?" She sat down on the ground in the middle of the "road". She felt so lost, so defeated. Whatwas she supposed to donow? The sun felt warm on her face as she stared into the sky.There were no clouds.
She stood up. She knew exactly what she was supposed to do. She smiled. She looked around at this reality that wasn't her own. Then, with her eyes focused on the sun, she ran. She ranuntil the light of the sun blinded her, and all she could see was bright white light.
Tootie blinked. She felt stiff. Her whole body felt stiff. All she could see was white. She looked around. She saw Timmy, and a doctor standing by her. Her hand was in Timmy's. Timmy was arguing with the doctor.
"No!" Timmy yelled, "Don't do it! Please! She's going to make it!"
"It's been 6 months! If someone doesn't come out of a coma in 6 months, we have to. We'd only be hurting them to keep them alive! When I became a doctor, I had to say an oath. Part of that oath says 'first do no harm'. I can't harm her! I have to unhook her. If she stays in this coma for more than 6 months, it will hurt her! I can't break the oath like that! Do you think I want to do this?"
Timmy said nothing. He held Tootie's hand, but stared at the doctor. The silence was tense. The doctor looked sad, but Timmy looked completely furious. Tootie looked back and forth between the two of them. What were they talking about?
"W…what's going on?" her voice came out in a tired whisper. It cut through the silence like a knife. They both looked at her. Timmy smiled.
"Tootie, you're alive! You're awake! You were in a coma. For 6 whole months! They would've had to pull the plug on you. But you're alive!" He gave her a hug. Tootie smiled weakly, and hugged him back. She felt exhausted. Her body ached. She had been in a coma? When? All she rememberedwas walking around in a colorful world, and chasing after a white speck that turned out to be an opening. She smiled as she remembered hearing Timmy's voice, talking to her as if she had been there. The doctor smiled too. Hehad a look of pure relief on his face.
She remembered him telling her that she might never be able to walk again. She didn't care.
"Timmy?..."
Timmy looked at her.
"Thank you for keeping me alive."
Timmy smiled, but couldn't conceal the slightly confused look on her face. "No problem."
Tootie smiled. She knew that Timmy would never know what she meant. But she would always be grateful.Guess what, Timmy?she thought, you were right. Talking to people when they're in a coma doesn't wake them up, but it does keep them alive. You're a genius. And even if I can never walk again, thank you.
July 3rd
"Come on!" Timmy said. He dragged Tootie behind him excitedly. Tootie laughed as she ran behind him. All of her scars had healed, and were fading. People would have to look really close to see them. She smiled as they stopped, and he covered her eyes. They were in the Dimmsdale park, and Tootie couldn't wait to see the surprise. "Timmy, what is it already?" she demanded with mock impatience. Finally, they stopped. Timmy released his hand from her eyes and grinned like a little kid. Tootie gasped. She turned to Timmy and smiled. "Ohhhh, that is so sweet!" she hugged him, and gave him a kiss on his lips. Thinking about the party, she was happy that this time he didn't pull away. And she was happy that when he did pull away, he looked at her with happiness, and not disappointment.
He wrapped an arm around her waist and they walked down the path that went throughout the park, looking at small kids playing, and people jogging. Tootie smiled as she looked at Timmy. She would always love him. She didn't care about fitting in as long as she had him.
The gift that Timmy had given her would be a constant reminder. She glanced back at the tree they had been standing at. If she squinted, she could just make out the carving in the bark. There was a heart. And inside, there was writing:
Timmy
and
Tootie
4ever