Disclaimer – Don't ask cause I don't own it

A/N yes I know, it's a self insert. I can't help but wonder ya know. One of my friends is mentioned in the first part of the chapter, and yes I got his permission to use his name and all. And yes, I actually act like this, this is actually my personality.

'Thought'

"Words"

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Why Me

A shameless self insert, by me

Memories make us who we are; I think that is a constant anyway.

I have all of the memories of my life, all 21 years of it. I even remember further back than I think is healthy, like before age 5.

I've always been the philosophy type, always questioning what I called "The Real" as in to ask, what actually reality is and what our perspective of it is.

Theory was always my strong point, theory on nearly everything including how the universe worked, though in many cases I could never come up with the math to back it up. My math sucked, I never was good at it.

It was thoughts such as these that I pondered, among other thoughts, as I walked home from my friend Bryant's house, or Mule, as his friends call him.

As I looked around my small home town of Oak Hill I could only wonder "wonder if will still be here in 15 years, wonder if I'll still be here" The way the world had been going, I seriously doubted it.

I never heard the car.

I saw it.

It crossed through the opposite lane and jumped the curb, on which I was standing.

I don't remember anything after that, just blank darkness.

Now I was never a person labeled as Athlete while in school, thought I I'd served in our JROTC program the whole of my high school life. That in its self brought me some credibility. Especially leaving the program as an officer

Like that would help me now.

I opened my eyes; the only thing I could see was the muffler of the car that had run me down. My whole body was numb.

'Im screwed'

I thought to myself

"Yes you are"

Some one answered back, now I'm not sure what scared me more at that point.

The fact that I herd an answer to a thought I had.

The fact that said voice was in Japanese.

OR that I actually understood it.

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The next thing I remembered was standing by the window in a hospital room. In the room with me was my mother, my grand mother and my father. All gathered around a bed.

'Who's that' I wondered, though I had an idea.

I couldn't see past my mom and grandma who were standing in front of me so I moved to the foot of the bed

"Oh my god"

It was me, badly bandaged and wounded. My heart monitor beeped softly as to say 'almost gone' then there was a voice from the window

"So what do you think?"

I turned to the window there sat a young boy, about 15 or 16 with gray hair and red eyes. I was to in shock to really say anything, I barely mumbled his name

"K-Kaoru Nagisa"

"Correct"

I stood there for a few moments and composed my self

"So now what, it's obvious I'm gona die, so, what do I do now Kaoru? Or is it Tabris"

"Either will do"

He stood and walked over to where I was standing

"So much potential you had, though try as you might you just could not find your place in the world"

I sighed, he was right

"Yeah, this sucks"

"Yes I know, that is why I am here"

"Really"

"You have been given the option of a fresh start, a new beginning, should you take it"

"And if I don't"

"You will live on, but you will not really be able to do anything you would have wanted to"

I looked down at my broken body

"I'm crippled aren't I?"

"Yes, your spine was severed, your legs were also crushed and many of your other bones broken by the impact"

I thought for a moment about all of the things I would never do if I didn't accept. I couldn't go any where, do anything like I use to. And on top of that I would be a burden on my family.

"I can't live like that"

"So you accept the chance for a new life?"

"I don't think I need to ask who is giving the orders here do I"

"No"

I shook my head and smiled

"So the big guy is giving me another shot, I can't turn that down"

"Good"

"Just one question"

"Yes"

"Exactly where am I going, with you here in that form, I gota know if I'm going to end up with Nerv and the Evangelions"

"Yes, as your scientist Albert Einstein once said 'for every thought or choice made by a person a reality comes into existence where that is so"

"So I'm going to fight the Angels huh"

"They have rebelled, they must be stopped"

"You and I may face off at some point if I don't die earlier"

"That my be, but if it be his will, then it shall be"

"Ok, I'm ready"

Tabris nodded slightly, and then my heart monitor flat lined.

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I was awakened by the sound of another heart monitor. As well as the sun poring through the windows of the room I was in. I knew I wasn't in my normal body, probably because it wasn't broken and destroyed.

'Bye mom, bye dad, bye grandma. Guess I won't see you for a while'

As I laid there my senses slowly came back to me. I could feel the sun light on my face. I could smell the reprocesses air of the hospital ventilation system. The sound of that damn heart monitor was annoying to no end. I could hear the doctor outside talking to someone, it took a moment but I realized that not only were they speaking Japanese, but that I could still understand them

'Wonder if I can speak it'

I slowly opened my eyes. The room was all white as I had expected, the curtains were opened but the window shade was shut. I looked down at myself; I was still a guy(thank you God) betwine 14 and 15, a bit thin but not to bad off. Then I noticed an IV in my arm

'Perfect age to pilot Eva, but on an IV, wonder how long I've been here'

I thought, I then turned towards the door; there stood who I can assume was the doctor talking to, of all people, Ritsuko Akagi.

'Well time to make myself known'

"Excuse me"

I barely squeaked out. Both must have heard me because they both looked at me. The Doctor ran off to get a nurse while Ritsuko walked into my room. She stopped by my bed side; she carefully slid the IV out and placed a bandage on my arm.

"So you're finally awake"

I decided playing the role of lost memory would be best, since I had no clue who I was now anyway

"Where am I?"

"Tokyo 2 central hospital"

I put on my best confusion face

"Where"

Now her expression grew a bit more concerned, I guess she bought it

"Do you know what your name is?"

"No"

"What the date is"

"No"

"Who your parents are"

"I don't remember anything"

I put a bit of fear into my tone and she took the hint

"It's alright; amnesia isn't uncommon for someone with serious head trauma"

"What happened to me?"

"You and your mother were on your way to Tokyo 3 from Kyoto when your car crashed, you've been unconscious for a few weeks"

"What happened to her, my mom?"

Like I couldn't already guess

"I'm sorry, she died"

I didn't know how to act, I never really knew the woman, but she was my mother so I had to feel a bit sad about her dieing. Ritsuko pulled a piece of paper from the folder she was carrying and placed it in my lap, it was my general profile with my picture attached. She then handed me a folder that had NERV written on it

"You were coming to Tokyo 3 to work for a group called Nerv on a very important project vital to mans survival, if you want you still can. Just read that file and get some rest today. I'll come by tomorrow to hear your answer"

With that she left, I had never really had anything against her. But I still didn't fully trust her. I picked up the piece of paper with my picture on it and began by reading that first.

Name - Sato Koruna

Age - 14

Sex - Male

Eye color - Green

Hair color - Black

Nationality - Japanese

Known Living Relative – Mother (deceased)

Born in Kyoto on 13 September 2000

Chosen in accordance with the Marduke Report as the 4th child

The limited information I had made since, I was born on the day of Second Impact hence I would be an Eva pilot. My mother was dead so Nerv could pretty much do whatever with me which was both good and bad. I decided to read through the file Ritsuko gave me; I wasn't too surprised by it. It gave general info on Nerv and what the Eva's were but most info was blacked out, like I really needed it. I decided to take the day and see what I could do

Objective One, try to walk.

I slid my legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand, which I actually seceded. Next was walking, not to hard though a bit wobbly. I had been out for a few weeks though. The next thing I knew the door opened. Their stood a rather shocked nurse with a small cart, on which was what I can guess was my lunch. She walked over to me and helped me back to the bed

"You shouldn't be up, after what happened I'm surprised you have enough energy to even stand"

I lay back down like she wanted and adjusted my self to be comfortable

"Sorry I just had to find out if I could still walk"

She smiled a bit

"Well you did very well

"Thanks, could you get me some normal clothes, this hospital gown is really drafty"

Her smile grew at my comment, guess she knew that already

"I'll bring you some normal clothes and your belongings ok"

"Thank you"

"Your welcome, I brought you lunch, I'll be around in a while to get the tray ok"

"Ok"

The tray she sat in front of me didn't have much on it, some jell-o a bit of rice and a small thing of frozen yogurt with a cup of water to finish it all with. After she checked the room's bathroom she left and I decided to try my food, it was pretty good for hospital food and in 10 min I had finished it. Normally I could have finished faster but my stomach had not had any food in it for about 3 weeks so it took a little bit. After that I decided to take a nap.

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After about an hour or so the nurse came back and woke me up, she collected my tray and placed two bags on the table beside of me one of which, a black backpack, looked suspiciously like my old laptop bag.

"The smaller one has your clothes, I checked the records of what you had on when they brought you in and found replacements. The other has your belongings in it. Small stuff you had with you, the rest was being moved separately and is in storage"

I looked at the larger bag which contained my stuff

"How bad was it"

She just shook her head

"Bad"

"Ok, thanks"

I was actually a bit upset, she placed her hand on my shoulder to try and comfort me, surprisingly it worked

"If you need anything just push that red button and the reception desk will page me ok

"Thanks"

She left, leaving me to my own devices. I stood up and opened the bag my clothes were in. there was a black pair of kacky pants, a black t-shirt, a pair of white socks, white boxers, a belt, and a pair of hiking shoes

'Cool my usual'

I put the shoes beside of the bed and took everything else into the bathroom and changed, everything fit perfectly. I walked back out to the bed and sat back down. I picked up the backpack and opened the middle compartment. Inside were a few miscellaneous computer related items, a CAT5 cable, a spare USB cable, and to my surprise in the back pocket an MP3 player with headphones.

'Sweet'

In the main compartment sat a Dell Notebook Computer of similar make to my old one and several Manga of different types I counted them off as I looked

"Gundam, Gundam again, Ruroni Kenshin nice"

All things I liked, I was beginning to like this.

I looked under them; there was the AC adapter for the computer and a Wireless Mouse. I pulled out the adapter and plugged it into the wall outlet and the plugged the other end into the black Laptop. I opened the computer and turned it on. After it had loaded up it came to the login screen, it wanted a password

'Guess I could try my old one'

I typed in the password I had used on my old computer and it immediately logged on.

I searched around on it till dark and found a few interesting things. All of the things on it were things I would have put there in the first place, the music, the pictures everything. Advent One Winged Angel was even among the music

'Score OWA, kinda ironic considering what I'm suppose to do, I'm gona sit in my Eva and fight angels to this if I can'

I also discovered it was all on back up disks I found in the main compartment of the back pack so I deleted anything that could even be considered perverted since I would most likely be living with Misato, which aside from a few files wasn't but 1 gig of stuff. I turned off the Laptop and pit it back into the bag which I put on the floor beside of me. I decided to get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a big day, I decided to agree to pilot Eva knowing it would be units 03 or 04, both potential death traps, but hay I don't think I would be brought here just to die immediately.

A/N yes my friends nickname is really Mule. And yes I asked befor I used it. On to Chapter Two