(A/N) Arigatou gozaimasu to all of you who read and reviewed. Feel free to drop any sort of comment by, I appreciate anything I get and will most likely respond to those who have any questions or suggestions or critiques or what not. Hope you like...

Anam Cara - Amor Meus

Chapter 5

Tears of the Night

Kira made his way to the couch and as soon as his hand went out to fish the device, a familiar rhythmic tone resonated throughout the room. It came from his cell phone, a feeling from his heart betraying his need to answer the call. Ignoring the ominous warning, he picked up the call and minutes after listening to a familiar yet unusually glum voice on the other line, the device abruptly fell from his shaking hands...

Lacus was distraught that very morning as she made it very clear to Mwu that she was obviously worried on the behalf of a particular brunette Coordinator. Mwu cocked an eyebrow in interest to her demeanor while trying to fill her in from the recent events.

Mwu, Murrue and Lacus were heading over to their destination in a bit of a frantic hurry. Mwu was the only one out of the three who was informed briefly of the situation that happened and as luck was on his side, he tried in vain to suppress the irritating though charming amount of worry exuding from two women that obviously cared deeply for the young man. Needless to say, inside Mwu's 4-door BMW X36 circulated an air of worry that not only overflowed from the women, but from Mwu himself. Mwu tried his best to conceal and suppress his own worried emotion in an effort to lessen the degree of the women's constant inquiring. After awhile, the nagging surprisingly subsided as Mwu returned his focus on getting to the place quickly and in one piece, while Lacus reminisced about the event that worried her beyond belief.

Lacus' Flashback POV

I woke up with a rather perturbing phone call that seemed so ominous at a time when moments ago, I had just felt an extrinsic euphoria that seeped inwardly. In normal days, I would have slept through such raucous with ease as I had been accustomed to such, but this particular phone call seemed to draw me towards it unceasingly. Rubbing the slumber out of my eyes, I protestingly arose from the comfortable bed and headed towards the source of my vivification.

Exiting the room casually, I realize that the source of my euphoria was up and about. Secretly, I admire his form that was draped with so many mysteries and and underlaying amount of concealed strength.

A few moments later, I notice that his strong figure began trembling inconceivably as he dropped the offending phone from his hand. I note that he is distressed by something... but what exactly distressed him, I do not know... All I know is that he needs help, and instinctively, my feet starts after his direction. Before I could reach him, he turns around abruptly and what I see frightens me not for my own safety, but rather... for his safety.

His warm violaceous eyes turned into those frozen tundra hues, the same ones as the first time I saw him... What's more disturbing is the amount of sadness stirring in his eyes...

"Kira-sama..."

End of Flashback

beep...beep...beep...

In a room barely lit came a meek voice attempting to reach out its desired audience. A small beeping sound emitted in long intervals, signaling a forlorn event quickly approaching. A young man was by the side of the source of the voice, his caring devotion did not allow him to downcast his head to show his frailty. Instead, his hand tightly grasp the hand of the origin of his sadness. His eyes laced with the last amount of caring and tenderness he could muster at that point not for his own sake.

Another young woman slumped her posture timidly placing her arching back on the jamb of the door. Unlike the young man, her emotions poured out of her pores and fell onto the floor while her fists were clenched in a fruitless effort to subside the pain, sadness and worry. Worry drowned her almost as much as her tears had done. She was worried about the well-being of the boy...

A few more seconds passed as the beeping sound converted into a single sound that reverberated throughout the room melancholy. The moment that the flat line sound emitted from the ECG heart monitor, a pair of disbelieving violet eyes glared at the offending machine, almost willing it to play another sound. But sadly in his heart, he knew that was not possible as he felt the small hand in his hands seemingly lose all traces of its remaining warmth. Reluctantly, the man solemnly placed the small hand over the ceased heart.

Turning away, not a single ounce of emotion could be found in his eyes, there was nothing...absolutely nothing.

"Mwu La Flaga!" Mwu says sternly while flashing his identification to the receptionists and guards in Orb Hospital. Quickly scampering away to a coordinated direction, Mwu made sure to thank the gods that he carried his id with him at all times.

Aftewards, he motioned for Lacus and Murrue to follow him. He was glad he knew his way around the hospital or else they would have had to waste some more time. The trio made a mad dash for a particular room that Mwu had completely forgotten about during his happy times with Murrue.

He cursed himself for having forgotten such knowledge that the time for such a forlorn visit would soon arise, but never had he known that that time would come so early. Remembering the halls of the fine and well-kept hospital, Mwu guided the two ladies to a room in which he knew something bad was happen--It was Conille-chan's room...

Nearing their destination, they stammered into a quick stop noticing two figures emerge from the dimly lit room. A brunette started for the way in which the three came, but was abruptly stopped by a blonde woman slightly shorter than the brunette himself. Mwu, Murrue, and Lacus could only look from afar seemingly acknowledging the anguish lingering in the air.

Lacus' POV

"Kira-sama..." I whisper to myself.

A beautiful teary-eyed blonde woman about Kira-sama's age wearing what appears to be a high-ranking uniform seemed to have witness the scene firsthand. Wait a minute, getting a better look at the woman, isn't that Cagalli-sama, the Princess of Orb? What is she doing here? Could she have a...

My thoughts were cut off by seeing Cagalli-sama hug Kira-sama warmly, crying silently on his shoulder, which affirms my suspicions...A twinge of jealousy runs through me--wait, no that can't be right...I can't be jealous...Can I? I have never been jealous before... Besides, what am I getting jealous about? There was--we never...we were never together or anything...

After a few moments, Kira-sama grabs a hold of her shoulders and looks sincerely in her amber eyes. He wipes away the remaining tears while kissing her softly on the forehead. That rush of jealousy surges again...why? I have never felt this way before about anybody... I have lived a good life and I was raised well... There is no reason why I should feel envious. Is there...?

Normal POV

After reassuring his sister, Kira began to head towards the nearest exit that was blocked by three familiar figures that his mind had previously failed to recognize their presence. Though he was hardly affected outwardly, his eyes momentarily flashed to the pink-haired figure that he cared about so much, in so little time. Those feelings were drowned out as the pain of loss consumed the brunette, which in turn led to a fact he knew all too well--especially after witnessing the harshness of reality-- 'Lacus Clyne was not his, never was, never will be.'

The same dilated pupils of freezing purple was plastered on his eyes as he walked past the three unimpeded. Instinct alone pushed the trio away from the brunette's path, unwilling to clash with him at his present state. Moving past Mwu slowly, Kira spoke in a low yet commanding voice that demanded compliance, "Don't follow me."

With that said, the trio froze in place until the brunette's figure vanished from sight. Once the aura of anguish disappeared, an aura of sadness settled in its place. Mwu led the way over towards the room that Kira and Cagalli were just in, though he already knew what happened, Mwu just wanted see with his own eyes.

All four present inside the stark room wept silently at the gloomy sight before them. Though neither of them were as close as Kira was to her, the impact of her death touched a part deep inside of them.

The world is unfair, life is unfair.

After a while, a few nurses and doctors came in to usher out the crowd since the dreadful silence became unhealthy for anyone--living or deceased. When the four were outside, a gloomy mood still fell upon them seemingly preventing anyone from speaking. Cagalli was the first to let the tears drizzle from her eyes as her attempt to remain strong was proven futile. She was not accustomed to holding in her feelings, whatever they were. Mwu placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and decided to break the silence, "Cagalli...We need to talk..."

"Ah..." Cagalli said absently.

The drive back was a solemn drive to say the least. No one spoke. No one could speak. No one said anything. All that could be heard was the sound of tears--tears from the heavens that is. The cloudy skies mirroring the mood seemingly crying for such a grave loss and attempting to make up for the quiescence.

However, the eery silence did not bother any of the four languished ones even the least bit. They were all content to talk as soon as an appropriate place was provided, the inside of a car just seemed inappropriate for such a matter. Mwu offered his place to discuss the matters on hand and as eager as he was to find out about something, he knew there was no point in adding increased tension in such a small capacity.

Luck was not on his side today though, nearing the apartment complex, all looked out of the car's windows to see a particular brunette remaining in a still form similar to a tree rooted to the ground. Mwu knew better than to stray from orders sharply given to him even by his former boss and resumed driving towards his apartment. Ever the publicly protective one, Cagalli was the first to object Mwu's actions, "Stop the car Mwu-san! Kira's goina get sick if he stays out in the rain for too long!"

"Iie, hime-sama," Mwu spoke casually.

"Demo--"

Mwu cut her off, "Bothering him now will do nothing for him. He needs space and time."

"I know that..." Cagalli interjected, she did indeed know that, but she would have rather Kira sulked when nature was kind. "How long do you think he will stay out there?"

"I don't know, four hours, eight hours, a whole day, or maybe even a week like that one time..." Mwu answered while recalling the time he witnessed Kira give a week-long vigil after having put his mother to rest with the earth.

"Nani? One week?" Cagalli asked skeptically.

"Ah...I'll tell you about it later," Mwu replied as he pulled into a parking spot. In his rush, Mwu finally noticed that Kira's McLaren F1 was still in the same parking spot as the day before. He concluded that Kira must have used his white/silver/blue colored Hayabusa GSX3600R, the fastest and most maneuverable motorcycle in the universe that Kira himself had hand crafted. 'A part of him must have wanted to kill himself before even getting there...' Mwu said to himself sadly.

Moving on to more important issues, Mwu asked the passengers to take out an umbrella from the hidden compartments within his Beamer. There was no use in all of them getting soaked. Afterwards, the four proceeded to enter the complex solemnly.

Cups of tea were distributed amongst them. They sat at Mwu's kitchen table that had space enough for three guests. Mwu sat beside Murrue, who sat in front of Lacus, who sat beside Cagalli. Each were reluctant to start s discussion at first, that is until Mwu's eagerness wrestled him out of reluctance.

"So Cagalli--"

"Mwu-san," Cagalli had unceremoniously piped in while Mwu looked defeated, "ah go ahead Mwu-san, gomen."

"Iie, go ahead Hime-sama."

"Iie, go Mwu-san," commanded Cagalli as she sipped a bit of her tea leaving no room for Mwu to decline the offer.

Mwu muttered something about stubborn and commanding blonde princesses and recovered his thoughts, "So Cagalli, do you think Kira will be alright?"

Cagalli spat out her tea carelessly after being caught with such a blunt question right off the bat. Much to Mwu's dismay, he was in the general direction of the simmering liquid. Cagalli quickly apologized as Mwu quickly wiped the burning substance off of his shirt with the aid of Murrue--who blushed soon afterwards at having been caught in a friendly gesture.

After having relieved himself from the searing substance, Mwu muttered something about tea spewing blonde princesses and resumed his inquiry, "So..." he said raising a brow to suggest Cagalli to answer.

"I don't know," Cagalli said truthfully, Kira's hug had only reassured her very little that he would not do anything rash. After receiving a "Nandayo?" and an incredulous look from Mwu, she reiterated much more slowly, "I. Don't. Know."

Mwu sighed as he put up his arms to show his sign of defeat. A victorious smirk emerged on Cagalli's lips as she began to taste the hot tea in habit. Murrue laughed a bit at Mwu's actions and being subdued easily by the feisty blonde. Meanwhile, Lacus continued her silence with a distant look embedded on her delicate features. She was still questioning her earlier feelings of jealousy and envy--two things she really had never experienced having in her life before.

Curiosity getting the best of her, Lacus decided to speak up, "Cagalli-sama, are you Kira's girlfriend?"

Red-faced from the innocent question of the pink-haired princess, Cagalli spat the tea once again at a laughing Mwu who considerably stopped laughing after being doused with the searing substance. Cagalli waved her hands defensively becoming blind to Mwu's plight, "Iie! Kira is my twin brother!" she yelled a little louder than she had intended to at the once oblivious woman next to her.

A small O curved on her delicate lips signaling her understanding. She mouthed an apology to Cagalli and Mwu, who waved her care off as he was rewarded with being treated to Murrue's subconscious caring for him. Deep down, Lacus was relieved to hear such news but she could not determine as to why she was so alleviated.

"Just call me Cagalli, your name is Lacus right?" Cagalli said indignantly in an attempt to change the topic. Lacus nodded in affirmation and after Mwu muttered something about blonde and pink haired princesses together at the same table meant bad news, that awkward silence reared its ugly head.

After calming down, Cagalli soon began her inquiry after being unsettled with the resurgence of that irritable silence, "You don't think he'll do anything rash do you Mwu?"

Mwu scratched his head dumbly trying to come up with a truthful yet assuring answer, "No, I don't think so," he inadvertently took a glance at the pink-haired princess which was noted by the other two females, "But... It's been tough on him..." Mwu's last statement recaptured the attention of all the females, each desperate to gain some more knowledge about Kira's past. Especially Cagalli and Murrue who were left out of the limelight about Kira, though loved him very much, they knew that Kira hardly opened up. If anything, Cagalli would have to force something out of him.

Mwu looked away from the stares as he knew that this discussion would have come sooner or later--preferably later but he had already committed. He sighed as he began to recant his knowledge that he had wanted to share yet was reluctant to do so for rightful reasons. He knew he could not escape the clutches of the women, so he did the smartest thing he could do.

"I must let you ladies know that I have known Kira only since he was four, so I do not know everything that has happened to him--nor am I him, so I could never possibly conceive all that he has seen. I have however, kept surveillance over him since I had become a family friend of his mother, Via Hibiki-sama. I was 16 years old at the time I first started watching him from afar. I was indebted to Via-sama because she was kind enough to lend me a place to stay when my father had kicked me out of the house... Anyway, tragically she would die not too far long, and I had promised to keep watch over her boy..."

Mwu took a deep sigh at what he was going to say next and stated flatly, "He blames himself for her death because he was the target of the Blue Cosmos--After all, he is the Ultimate Coordinator."

Mwu looked at Lacus for supposedly a surprised reaction in which he would judge her as either having been frightened or horrified at the news of his 'revelation'. Much to his surprise, he was proven completely wrong as Lacus remained indiscernible while her caring aura still emanated from her without even the slightest change to such a large piece of news. Mwu was starting to put the picture together.

Cagalli and Murrue were equally surprised since they were the few who had actually known of Kira's Ultimate Coordinatorness and wondered if Lacus had known because of her indifference. Cagalli and Murrue urged Mwu to continue soon after seeing as how they already knew that much about Kira, and wanted to know more. Cagalli asked about the weeklong vigil Kira had while Lacus on the other hand, began to recall the events that happened in the wee hours of the morning that day.

"Ah, before he left for Orb...Kira visited the home in which you two used to live," Mwu said to Cagalli. "His house was sealed up though, only a few people ever went in it. I don't know much about it myself, but Kira emerged carrying another body with him--it was his mother's body." Mwu said while the women began to sadden at what must have been a difficult pill to swallow.

"When he got here," Mwu signaled here as in these apartments. "Kira had no money and so he had to bury Via-sama himself... After he buried her, he stayed up for over 48 hours with a small candle in his hands... I thought he would have stopped his vigil within 24 hours as I didn't want to reveal myself to him yet... I couldn't really." Mwu said a bit apologetically to Cagalli--though Mwu was not suppose to reveal his presence to Kira.

"Well, I got worried after seeing him stand still for over 48 hours. He had not eaten, no relieved himself, hell I don't think he even slept. I had to do something before he would die so I brought him some food and introduced myself to him. With some reluctance I had force fed him some food but he remained there for another 120 hours... I think he must have lost 40 lbs or so." Mwu tried fruitlessly to lighten up such a talk, it was to no avail though. He sighed wishing there was something more he could do for the poor boy. It was a good quarter of an hour before Mwu spoke up again.

Like a lightning bolt striking down from the heavens, Mwu suddenly experienced an electrical shock through his veins as he recalled a troubling incident that could possibly have a dentrimental impact on Kira's behaviour. He mentally slapped himself for almost forgetting such a time as his resolve in presuming Kira to not act too rashly melted away. Sensing Mwu's distress, the women all bored their eyes into him, letting him know that he should speak out his mind or else.

"Cagalli, has Kira ever told you about a Flay Allster?" Mwu began cautiously, he was already sure that Kira would not have.

"Iie... Flay Allster?" Cagalli responded

"Ah, I thought so. Kira was about 16 at the time, and it was before he was reunited with you." Mwu said while Cagalli just stared blankly motioning for him to continue.

Lacus remembered this part quite well...

Flay Allster was popular, pretty, smart and the esteemed daughter of George Allster. She was betrothed to an equally popular, handsome, and intelligent young man in Sai Argyle. She was without a doubt wanted by many men; including Kira Yamato. Flay had hardly paid attention to Kira at first, for Kira was only the typical nerd who crushed on her. Though spoiled, selfish, and narrow-minded due to the perfect world she was raised in, she failed to realize the harsh realities of the world.

When her beloved father contracted a disease that stemmed from African Coordinators, George was sent to the finest doctor, natural or coordinator, in the universe; it just so happened that the finest doctor at the time was indeed Kira Yamato. In the midst of tragedy, the niave Flay became enraged at her crumbling world and in an effort to remedy her situation, she immediately took notice of the boy to pressure him more to save her father. Of course, the kind youth was forced to assure her that he would save her father. Reality dictated otherwise as the young doctor diagnosed the man with a very rare and terminal disease known as acanthocheilonemiasis. He soon died an incurable death despite Kira's hardest efforts.

In that instant where her world crumbled, something inside of Flay snapped as the hatred in her heart twisted her mind as she cursed and blamed the existence of all Coordinators alike. Kira Yamato was no exception. Flay saw power inside the boy as a brilliant doctor of Coordinators who previously had flawless records--the death of her father pushed her to cause the boy more misery by weakening his medical mind so whenever he would treat Coordinator patients, he would be half the time be remorseful about her father's death. Many more people died because of Kira's carelessness, which was caused by a consumed Flay, the medical community decided not to revoke his medical degree because of his extraordinary endeavors in the field. Nevertheless, the victims piled on for Kira, which in turn added to more sadness and sorrow and soon Flay would push the boy too far.

In the end, she left him. Never to be seen again.

"Kira had a bad relationship with Flay, she lied to him about loving him and everything, so he thought he loved her too. It was hard to see but he recognized his relationship for what is was for, it was just guilt that destroyed him for going against morality and succumbing to the tempting pleasure that was to feel loved when he felt loveless...Flay didn't even realize that Kira lived a hard-knock life and was orphaned at a younger age and was the ultimate science project..." Mwu trailed off while turning his head to look at the windows, not wanting to see the tears forming in the women's eyes.

Lacus inevitably broke down as well as she remembered something that Kira had said to her in private and apparently never discussed, "For just one time, maybe someone could love me for what I truly am... and love me in true understanding, Flay said she did but that was a lie... My friends...My family...can't ever get pass the final wall that blocked them from me..."

The night was no longer quiet. It was marked with unfathomable sadness, unheard but spoken. A clock struck the twelfth hour of the day. A lone figure standing in the dark protruded from the vision of the dimming stars. His bangs were drenched as his vision was blurred like the mud surrounding the gravestone he was staring at. The coldness of nature made feeble effects on his rigid body. Though his clothes were damp, there was nothing heavier than his heart at the moment.

Silent footsteps could be heard approaching the lone figure. The man's violent violet eyes shimmered in frustration of having his reverie broken shamelessly. He thought of a blonde man's over jestering attitude and an unforeseen attitude anger arose within him. This was not a time for games.

"I said don't follow me!" the enraged boy barked loudly.

The encroaching figure stopped momentarily until the footsteps continued.

With an unknown emotion of anger spewing over, the man violently twisted around and grabbed the arms of the infringing person.

"I said--"

Lacus bit her lip from the pain of his hold. His lock on her arms considerably weakened after realizing that he was mistaken in his presumption. The brunette boy solemnly turned around and casted his head towards the ground shamefully. A small trickle of an apology could not escape his lips, though his heart beckoned him to say sorry. He presumed the now drenched and pained woman would leave him alone.

Again was his presumption proven false as a small pair of arms encircled his waist in an embrace. He was caught so off guard that his anger evaporated just as quick as it materialized. His cold and empty eyes remained intact, analogizing a wound that would not heal quickly. After a few silent moments in the rain, the silence was broken by a soft and confused voice, "Why can't I save people?"

"Kira-sama..." Lacus began. "There are times when we try our hardest, and never get what we want..."

"But why can't I save anyone?" Kira said turning around to show her his confused and pained violet eyes.

"There are more people than you think you have saved..." Lacus said simply.

Lacus watched his amethyst eyes soften considerably and it seemed that the rainstorm subsided into a light drizzle. She could now see the faintest trails of tears welling up in his eyes. They did not fall though, Kira turned his head away and wiped the moisture with the sleeves of his drenched shirt. Lacus gave him a questioning look that asked him why does he not let out his feelings.

"I promised I wouldn't cry anymore..." he said simply.

"It's okay to cry when you're sad... That's why people cry..." she replied softly.

A fresh batch of tears formed in the purple eyes and finally, they began to fall voluntarily--the boy no longer held them back or held remorse for crying. He collapsed onto the floor while Lacus did likewise and embraced the weeping boy caringly. For the remainder of the night, the two remained in the same position as each drifted into a gentle slumber.

To be continued...

(A/N) I don't know if I will be working on this one as much asthis other story that Ihave aton of inspiration for... So I don't know when the next update will be. Have a nice day. Ja ne.