Title: An Old Fashioned Melody
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss, lyrics to Gerome Ragni and James Rado.
Prompt: Challenge 111 at ffFridays community on LJ - 100 to 1000 words about "hair."
Notes: So I thought about hair, came up with blank, and took the prompt in a slightly different direction. Blame it on the... well, fine, you can blame it on me.

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It started out slow.

"My body is walking in space…"

It was River who was speaking softly, so naturally all the heads at the table turned to Simon. He returned every glance darkly and kept eating.

"Looks to me like you're sitting right here," Mal commented. River looked at him with surprise.

"Floating," she replied, "flipping. Flying. Tripping."

"Well, she's got trippin' correct," muttered Jayne, and Kaylee punched him in the arm, just as the ship landed.

Everyone sensed Mal's increasing tension when Inara was already two hours late for take-off, and no one suspected it was due to worry over the goods spoiling in the cargo bay. Finally, he snapped. "Where is she?"

Kaylee shrugged. "She probably just wandered too far away and lost track of time, cap'n."

"Or maybe," Wash offered, "her… watch broke?" Offered weakly, that is.

"Heard a story," River mused aloud, "she got busted for her beauty."

Mal stared at her for a moment and then growled. "I'm goin' after her."

"It was all River's doing, Inara – tzao-gao!" Mal swore as Inara slammed her door, through which they could all hear—"Please do not embarrass me again in public, Malcolm. Once a day is enough."

Mal turned to River with a scowl. "You wanna explain what that crazy talk was about earlier?"

"Mystic crystal revelation," she hummed, with a mysterious smile. Kaylee and Jayne, also at the dinner table, sat back to enjoy the show.

"Simon!" Mal bellowed.

Simon cleared his throat from behind him. "I'm right here, captain."

"She's been babbling nonsense for two days now, you got no clue what triggered it?"

Simon frowned, and River chanted, in a sing-gong voice, "answer my weary query…"

"River, is there anything you're not telling me?"

River seemed to consider the question, and then, with a bright, impish smile, hopped with her feet onto the chair she was sitting on and raised one leg, dangling it above the dinner table. "I got life, mother." She set one bare foot by her plate. "I got laughs," she winked at Kaylee, "sister."

"What the hell d'you think you're doing?" Mal exclaimed angrily.

Simon walked swiftly towards River, intent on getting her down, but she just placed a gently on his shoulder and took another step. "I got freedom," she sang softly, "brother."

Jayne shook his head with a chuckle. "Finally lost your mind, did you?"

"Get down from there!" Mal demanded.

"I got crazy ways, daughter," she said slyly.

"Now, why would she call you 'daughter', cap'n?" Kaylee wondered, as Mal started stomping away, muttering, "crazy ways… crazy crew… gorram crazy women, more like…"

Jayne raised his glass at River. "To upsettin' the captain."

She leapt off the table and gave a little curtsy. "Bless you, alcohol bloodstream."

Jayne grinned. "I'll take that as a compliment."

It was finally Wash who caught on, as always when dealing with anything unrelated to war, science, or machinery.

River and Kaylee were playing cards on the deck when he and Mal walked by. "White boys are so pretty," River sighed as they passed. Kaylee's eyes widened, and the boys stopped in their tracks as she continued, sounding lost in thought, "skin as smooth as milk…"

Wash started laughing, while Mal stared at her, stunned. Kaylee grabbed her friend's hand and spoke in a low voice, attempting not to be heard. "River, sweetie, you ain't supposed to be reading minds aloud now—"

"…white boys are so pretty—"

Between Kaylee's and Mal's horrified expressions Wash laughed even harder, and just managed to put in: "…hair like Chinese silk?"

River nodded happily.

Wash grinned at her in return. "You gonna be singing your space songs much longer? Some folks here getting worried."

She shook her head and, to Mal and Kaylee's amazement, replied in a cheerful, sensible tone, "Almost done."

"All right then," Wash chuckled, turned around and dragged Mal along behind him.

Mal shook his head as if trying to clear it. "You ever get the feeling that girl's perfectly sane and just tryin' to mess around with our heads?"

Behind them, River was crowing: "Give me a tall, a lean, a sexy, sweet, pretty juicy white boy!"

Mal shuddered, and Wash called back, "more of a chocolate favored treats man, myself!" He turned to Mal. "All the time, my friend. All the Time."

tzao-gao - damn it

For anyone who didn't recognize them, all lyrics are from the musical Hair. See? Hair! ducks