Description: Auron is waiting for Tidus. Tidus knows. And vice-versa. Written for 20loves community on LJ. Sloth to tell you the challenges.
.waiting
Tidus was fascinated with Auron. He had known Auron for nearly ten years now, but the man never ceased to amaze him.
Maybe it was the whole tall, dark, and silent cliche that drew him towards the other. Tidus couldn't believe that he was such a girl. Being in Auron's care for all that time didn't dampen the feeling; at first, as a young boy, Tidus had admired Auron, and thought that someday, someday in the distant future, he would strive to be just like him.
But then he hit puberty, and he ended up with a series of problems that he would prefer not to discuss. After all, just how wrong was it to fall in love with your guardian? And not just that-- your male guardian too, the man who takes care of you day in and day out, who signs your release forms to join the professional blitzball league, and who makes sure that you have a roof over your head and food on your plate?
It was so wrong.
One night, after they had one another major game, the Abes went out to the bar. Tidus ended up coming home just a little bit more than buzzed.
"You're home late," Auron noted as Tidus entered their houseboat. Auron sat in a chair at the table, reading like he always did.
"The guys went out drinking," Tidus replied. "We won again." He gauged Auron's reaction, not even attempting to hide his stare.
"I have no doubt." Auron turned the page.
Tidus frowned. Why didn't Auron react? He was supposed to react, dammit.
Sliding into a chair opposite of the older man, he refused to let his gaze waver. Or more accurately, he studied every line in the other man's face, rememorizing them all over, because he felt that if he couldn't recall what Auron looked like... Everything would fade to black.
Auron looked up from his book. "What is it, Tidus?"
Tidus let his gaze linger on the way those lips formed his name. Under normal circumstances, he would have, but right now, his motor skills were impaired, and he couldn't not do what he wanted. He couldn't refuse himself Auron's visage. "Were you waiting for me?" he said finally.
"Yes." Auron finally put down his book. Tidus' heart thumped louder. He was getting somewhere. Auron was reacting, though not in any way that a lovesick teen would have wanted.
"Do you love me?" he blurted; as soon as he said the words, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Auron reached his hand up and slowly took off his sunglasses, revealing two deep, dark eyes, one of which was scarred. And Tidus was staring into them, getting lost in his drunk state and those eyes.
"No." Tidus' heart was removed.
Desperate for something--what had that hesitation been?--any reaction at all, Tidus told Auron, "I love you."
There was less hesitation as Auron replied, "I know."
There was a tense silent there, and Tidus almost didn't want to break it. Breaking it could also break his heart. "I don't think..." Tidus paused again, regaining his train of thought. "I don't think I could ever feel this strongly for anyone ever again, no matter how hard I try."
The legs of Auron's chair screeched against the ground as he moved to stand up. "You're young."
"I know," Tidus mocked.
"Half my age, you know." He was standing now, looking down at Tidus.
Tidus silently agreed.
"You'll fall in love again, don't worry." The blitzball player just sat and watched as his guardian moved towards the doorway, to his own bedroom. "And if you don't," Auron said, looking back at Tidus one last time. "Maybe you haven't tried hard enough." And Auron left, the thick fabric of his red coat flapping noiselessly.
Tidus didn't know what had gone wrong, between winning the game, getting drunk, and professing his love. Maybe nothing did, and it was just Auron, or maybe everything was wrong. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be a blitzball player. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be. Resigned, Tidus buried his face into his arms, lying them onto the table. He could hear buzzing just beyond his reach, and his world was going fuzzy and darker.
He told himself he'd wait then, wait for Auron to tell him to get up and go sleep in his bed. Or maybe in the morning, Auron would reprimand him for not even getting a blanket. If he slept like that too much, with the light on and in the cold air, he would get sick.
Tidus smiled at the sound of Auron's concerned voice. "I know," he murmurred, before he gave in to the darkness.
knowing.
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