Title; The Right Way: A Love story in Four Acts
ACT 4: Broken Hearts
On his lunch break Iruka went to the butchers. When he'd asked for a pig's heart soaking in a litre of blood, the butcher had asked 'Do I want to know?' but when Iruka replied 'Probably not', they were sold to him without further comment.
They sat in his locker until 3, when the students left, whereupon he took them to Kakashi's apartment. The proper thing to do would be to drag this out over several days or even weeks, but he wasn't in the mood for that. While he set things up, he had to keep reminding himself that it was okay to leave traces.
Okay to leave fingerprints on Kakashi's door, okay to leave his scent in the hall, okay to let the neighbour see him coming up the stairs.
When he was finished, he went home for a quick diner, before heading out to the missions desk.
Rather belatedly, it occurred to him how much of a risk he was taking. If Kakashi wanted to, the Jounin could probably make Iruka's life fairly miserable. It was the usual after-prank letdown. Worries that he'd get into trouble, that someone would get really upset, that he wasn't being funny at all.
As usual, it was also too late to change things.
When Kakashi got home, his door was bleeding. He'd smelled it down the hall, the familiar reek of drying and rotting blood. It looked every bad as bit as it smelled.
I 'heart' you. Written in blood. With a razor-sharp kunai pinning the middle part of the arrangement in place. Blood had run down the length of the door and was pooling at the bottom.
He summoned Pakkun and pulled the throwing knife out, letting the bloody chunk of meat fall to the floor at his feet.
"Well brat, looks like you've got an admirer." The pug sniffed delicately at the fallen heart. "Romantic." Beady eyes squinted up at him. "You're not going to eat it?"
"I think I'll pass. Make sure it's not poisoned."
"Mmm, beef. Fresh today. Soaked in pig blood." He started chewing, speaking around a mouthful of bloody meat. "Hey, he's been in your place."
"Of course he has," Kakashi said with a sigh. Last night had been good, but he was sure as hell paying the price today.
"You smell tense. You ought to get laid."
"That," said Kakashi "is the problem." He flattened himself against the wall and eased the door open. Off to the side, Pakkun chewed his treat thoughtfully.
As soon as the door cleared the frame, there was an outwards cascade of paperbacks through the door.
On closer inspection they were second hand copies of Icha Icha (thankfully not his). When he opened one he discovered someone had helpfully underlined the words 'sex' 'fuck' and 'penis' everywhere they appeared.
Alright thought Kakashi tiredly, running his fingers through his hair you win.
When Kakashi came into the missions room, minutes before close, Iruka let his features slide into the vapid grin that had worked so well on his genin teacher.
"You look like a lovesick goat," muttered Shizune behind her hand.
"Shut up," said Iruka brightly without moving his lips.
"Iruka Sensei, could I speak with you? Alone?"
"Of course Kakashi-san. Anything for you." Iruka tried looking up flirtatiously through his eyelashes. Shizune muttered something about filing and fled.
"Stop that, you're creeping me out" muttered Kakashi.
"My apologies Kakashi-san," said Iruka, dropping the artifice. "but that was the point."
Kakashi slouched around into the chair beside Iruka, the two of them watching the door, side by side.
"You had me going there," said Kakashi thoughtfully. "That's not easy. The heart thing was a nice touch."
"I'll come by after work and clean it up."
"Don't bother. You made Pakkun's day, he's probably still licking the floor. Bloodstains add character anyway."
They sat there for a few minutes in silence. Iruka couldn't tell how Kakashi felt, but to him it seemed companionable.
"I'm sorry I took advantage last night," said Kakashi quietly. It was far, far more than Iruka had imagined.
"You didn't. I made my choice. It was…nice."
"Nice?" said Kakashi indignantly "Only nice?" Iruka shrugged, but he was smiling. "There's a new sushi place I've been meaning to try. I hear dolphins like tuna."
"Really?" said Iruka as he headed for the door. "And what do scarecrows like?"
"Crow, but I've eaten enough of that today," said Kakashi as they left the building. "You do a good impression of a creepy psycho stalker."
"If you think that was good, I need to tell you the one about the axe…"
And that is the story of how Kakashi and Iruka had sex, had romance, and went on a date, all in the wrong order.