Fuck Her Softly

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of it's characters, but hey Christmas is coming up again. I do not own the song Shuichi is singing.

Okay this is a song my boyfriend had me listen to on his I-pod and I found it to be a little funny. So last night I imagined this so I thought I would make it a fanfic. Enjoy

"But Yuki, what if I mess up!" wined the singer of the hot band Bad Luck.

"Get off my leg and leave me alone. I taught you enough English to get you through tonight."

"But Yuki…" The hot young stud named Eiri Yuki literally kicked out one of Japan's hot new singing sensations without breaking a sweat. Shuichi desperately scratched at his lover's door, hoping for reentrance. He groaned. He longed to be back in there with Yuki, but he knew there was no time for that. He had to see his best friend, and his guitarist, Hiro. Shuichi ran from the hotel that they were staying at for this tour and ran to the stadium. Hmmph. Yuki is so mean. I don't have a clue where I'm going in this big city.

Shuichi and his band were in none other than New York. Since the last time Shuichi had been here the band had doubled in popularity. Mr. K announced proudly that they were going to New York just two weeks ago. They all groaned in frustration. That meant they had to come up with a new song in two weeks. "Well look on the bright side." Mr. K said, trying to cheer the band up. "If you screw up no one will understand a word you are saying."

This is true, but Shuichi didn't want to take any chance and offend the Americans. What if Mr. K was the calm one? So for the last couple of days he's been taking lesson from Yuki since he goes to New York yearly. He learned a few words like "How are you?" "You ready to rock" and "Goodnight." But Shuichi didn't know if it would be enough. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that something bad was going to happen.

After playing their new sucky song Shuichi yelled into the audience, "Goodnight!" But the crowd kept cheering for more.

"AAAAAh!" screamed a fan girl. "Sing us your favorite English song." Shuichi was spazzing out in front of millions of fans. He had not learned an English song. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO! He thought, while running around in circles on stage. Right then a huge explosion burst right behind Fujisaki and he jumped away with fright.

After the cloud dust began to disappear Mr. K stood in the middle of the stage holding his gun in one hand and some papers in the other. "Good news!" he said in English. "I will save your butts this time."

"You have a song for us." Shuichi stopped spazzing and looked sparkly eyed at K. Mr. K shoves sheet music into Shuichi and Hiro's hand. Fujisaki looked angrily at Mr. K.

"Hey, what about me! The first time in months we get a performance that is actually about music and I don't get a part!" Mr. K shoved a violin into Fujisaki stomach along with sheet music.

"There then play that." Fujisaki gives Mr. K a deadly look, but quickly figures out how to transpose from piano to violin. Mr. K goes to the middle of the stage and turns around to look at the artist. The all seemed prepared, holding their instruments or microphone. "Okay!" he shouted in English. "It's show time folks!" And Mr. K disappeared through a trapped door.

Shuichi looked frantically in the back of the audience and found him. There was Eiri Yuki in the back of the crowd with a cap and sunglasses on, smoking loosely a cigarette in his mouth. Shuichi winked and thought, this is for you.

Hiro started with a soft guitar solo. Shuichi began to sing…

This is a song, for the ladies
But fellas, listen closely

Yuki pushed down his sunglasses so that Shuichi could see his eyes. Shuichi gained so much confidence that he sung the first line with so much enthusiasm that it scared the front row.

You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes that's not right to do

Yuki cigarette fell out of his mouth as he heard the words that Shuichi was sing off the paper. The audience opened their mouth in surprise. Shuichi, not speaking English, didn't see the problem so he continued.

Sometimes you gotta make some love, and fucking give her some smooches too
Sometimes you gotta squeeze, sometimes you gotta say please
Sometimes you gotta say 'hey'

I'm gonna fuck you…Softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you…sweetly
I'm gonna bawl you Discreetly

Yuki hair was all askew from surprise. He tried to hide his embarrassment that he was going out with that little freak by pulling his hat over his face. The audience was dead quiet.

And then you say 'hey I bought you flowers'
And then you say 'wait a minute Sally
I think I've got something in my teeth
Could you get it out for me?'
That's fucking teamwork

What's your favorite posish?
That's cool with me its not my favorite but I'll do it for you
What's your you favorite dish?
I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from ZANZABAR!

And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bawl you completely
but then.. I'm gonna fuuuuuuuck yoooooooouuuuu haaaaaaaaaaaard.

HAAAAARRRRRDDDDD!

The audience was silent. Mr. K came from the side of the stage, wiping away on tear. "That was beautiful Thanks for playing my favorite English song." As people saw K's slowly clapping the audience burst into applause. Shuichi was proud of himself for singing something in English that seemed to please everyone. He looked in the back to see that his lover left. His heart sank.

He ran to their hotel to find a sign on the door. Until you learn what you just sang you're not coming in. Shuichi burst into tears. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh! Yuki, why are you so mean to me!"

Sucky ending I know, but I couldn't think of a way to end it. Hoped you liked it