Title: Command Comic Carnival

Author: Third Charm

Fandom: Babylon 5

Pairings: Marcus/Neroon.

Story Type: Snippet

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and all subsequent major characters, plots, and ideas are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Inc. and Warner Bros. The following story was written only for the purposes of entertainment. No income had been made.

Warnings: AU, not beta read, profanity, slash

Spoilers: Up to and including "Grey 17 is Missing"

Summary: This is an answer to Lady Q's 2005 Halloween Challenge. Challenge #6. Neroon dresses as Darth Vader and there is either mention or an appearance of your favorite Star Wars character from any of the movies.

Author's Note: This Snippet is set in my "Chaperones and Charades" Universe. It may or may not make it into that WIP this this form or an altered. I haven't decided yet.

Command Comic Carnival

Ensign Garrison was having the time of his life! As the lowest ranking C&C Command Officer, it was his job to MC for the "Command Comic Carnival" and "Leadership Roast". Whoever came up with this tradition should be canonized! Sure, in forty eight hours he and everybody attending and/or watching this farce would be courting death, but at least they would get a chance to see the officers who would be ordering them to their early demise humiliate themselves first!

Oh, God! But this was good, here he was, able to say anything about his CO's and be able to get away with it! Garrison was in heaven on this stage! He played up to the massive crowds, making every kind of dirty joke involving the ISA War Council possible. The crowds were eating it up. Backstage, though, was a different story all together!

"Delenn, as the leader of the Religious Caste, no one would fault you for not participating. You're not even human, and this is our tradition. Really, you don't have to do this!" Sheridan said as he tried to bundle his betrothed into his Jedi cloak again.

He had had a mild stroke when he saw what costume his love had pulled. Of all the damn things to put in the hat! His poor, innocent Delenn just had to pull Betty Boop!

"John, I am fine!" she said in exasperation.

He stared hard at her, forcing Delenn to retract that lie. "All right, I' am not fine, but I understand the basis for this tradition. We will be ordering these beings to their deaths. Our humbling ourselves in there presence is in penance for the lives we are about to take. As Entil'Zha, I must go through with this. Now, I need to find Susan, this horrible contraption just does not want to stay up!" finished the frustrated Priestess as she tried to pull up her strapless corset and LITTLE black dress yet again, to the appreciation of the stagehands.

At that time, they heard Susan coming and grousing in Russian. As she neared, she switched to Standard. "Cat Woman! I just had to pull Cat Woman! Couldn't I have pulled something with shorter heals or a costume that allowed for underclothes!"

"At least you are covered, and the costume stays up on its own!" complained Delenn.

"Oh my!" Susan gasped in sympathy after taking a good look at her friend. "Here, let's get back to the dressing room, Lyta and I have some double-sided tape. We needed it for her costume. It should help you, too," Susan offered.

"That bad? What did she pull?" asked Sheridan.

"Barberella," answered Susan as she led Delenn away.

Sheridan winced. Poor Byron! At least he had to watch out for only one almost dressed woman in the sea of drunk and hormone crazed soldiers tonight! Neroon and Lennier came out from the men's dressing room at that point. Both were grumbling. Sheridan looked at them and smirked. Lennier was dressed as a Hell's Angel and Neroon was his evil alter ego, Darth Vader.

"This mask is extremely uncomfortable! How did the poor actor pull this off for the vid?" the Shai Alyt complained.

"Hey, at least you don't have to try and pull off the fake hand! This thing weighs a ton!" Sheridan added. "And what's your problem Lennier? You are completely dressed, don't have to sport any fake body parts and, all though seeing a Minbari in a leather jacket and jeans is a little off beat, it doesn't look THAT weird," he asked the grimacing young Priest.

"Because it is NOT a costume! I actually wanted to enjoy this experience, and what did I pull? My club clothes, that's what! Now why would a vintage cycle club be in that Shadow-be-Damned hat?!" spat out the Priest.

Stunned did not even come close to the expressions on the stage crews' faces at that statement. It got even worse when G'Kar and his aide walked in. Oh, God! Narn versions of Hercules and Xena! And Na'Toth was comparing her costume to traditional Narn female wedding clothes, hence the terrified look on her superior's face!

Somehow, seeing Vir and Londo dressed as Washington and a very, very drunk very short Lincoln just didn't compare. But what really got them was a Vorlon dressed in what looked like a very large lampshade! The most feared ambassador on the Station glided up to Sheridan.

"You owe me!" was heard through the encounter suit speakers. Kosh then glided away.

"I am a Warrior born, but that was frightening," said a shuddering Neroon.

Sheridan grunted in agreement. He was about to say something when Byron came out of the dressing room. "Oh, God! Dr. Frank-N-Furter! Thank you God! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jeff! I will not complain about the fake hand again tonight!" Sheridan cried out.

Lennier just stared. And stared. He then went to his knees and began a long Religious Caste Chant of Thanksgiving to Valen. After the shock wore off, Neroon joined him. He wasn't Religious Caste, but now knowing how lucky he'd gotten off, well, he just might change his Calling after the war was over!

Marcus walked out of the dressing room in full "vamping" vampire mode. He looked at the telepath and burst out into laughter. "Oh, thank you God, Jeff, and Jesus! I'm not the Universe's personal joke tonight."

"Yuck it up Cole! It's not just the costumes we have to deal with! You know that!" groused the telepath. "And who are you supposed to be?"

Marcus was dressed in skin tight doeskin pants dyed an emerald green, a very thin white silk pirate's shirt that was open to the waist, and black chevalier's boots. He had fake vampire fangs on his incisors and eye make-up as well as lip-gloss on.

Neroon had taken one look at the Ranger and pulled him tight to his side. How was he supposed to keep those drunken, other wise intoxicated, and aroused Warriors out there OFF of is ma'fela?! He suddenly had a strong up swell of sympathy for Sheridan. They shared a rueful look over the to top of Marcus's and Bryon's heads.

Marcus broke their mental contact by answering the telepath's question. "A vampire named Jean-Claude. He's a character from a set of supernatural novels written in the twenty-fist century."

Steven and Lorrel finally made it out of the dressing room as he finished speaking. Neroon and Lennier took a look at the pair, then each other, and knelt again while restarting the chanting.

"Welcome to my hell, RuePaul and Tarzan," Byron said to the two other severely pissed off men.

Both men looked at him, swore and said that at least they weren't as bad off. All though, Steven still bitched about his heels.

"Well, looks like the idiots who came up with the hat ran the gambit this time," said the Security Chief as he and his 2IC came into the waiting area. Garibaldi was dressed as "The Gambler". "You have my sympathies, Byron. If it makes you feel any better, I pulled Rocky Horror himself before the assault and Braxis Two."

"Yeah, I remember that. And damn, Mika! You had every woman GROPO there salivating. Me included," said Savic as she walked up.

Sheridan was suddenly VERY happy about the Betty Boop pull. Somehow, seeing Delenn dressed as and S&M Dominatrix would have been so much worse on so many levels. Savic had on a corset and metal over-corset, leather panties and garter belt, fishnet stockings, and thigh–high hooker boots.

"Ah, nice costume, Madam President," he snickered.

"Ha. Ha. I am so amused! You know, these things were only fun when we were in the audience," Savic groused. "Well, at least I can still make the idiots pay if they get out of hand!"

With that statement, she unfurled a real bullwhip and cracked it. EXPERTLY. Suddenly, all the males in the area got the idea that the costume wasn't just a costume.

The Kreene ambassador joined them next. "Um, who is this character of your mythology that I am portraying tonight again?" he asked.

"Legolas, Prince of the Greenwood. He was is a key character in the saga known by the title of "Lord of the Rings"," answered Marcus as the rest of ladies rejoined them.

"How apropos," said Lyta at the sight.

All the female command staff had bypassed looking at Byron in sympathy. They were now staring at Senator Bahlille and starting to salivate. Even Delenn looked enthralled.

"Um, what did Byron mean when he said that we had more than these costume's to worry about?" asked Zack as he winced at the sight of the telepath's costume, and was very glad he'd pulled just the "Construction Worker" from "The Village People".

Everyone who had been involved in one of these before winced. The humans of the ISA War council looked to their fearless leader to answer. Sheridan gulped and did.

"Hat Picked Command Karaoke," he croaked out.

"No! Merciful Heavens, NOOOO!"

End.