The Wrong Thing to Say
"Get her Shego! At last, victory shall be mine!" Drakken crowed. Normally, they'd be having this talk in a lair, but due to an…unfortunate incident with his last invention Drakken had relocated to Middleton camp grounds with a rented camper.
"What kind of doomsday weapon can you hide in a camper?" Kim asked, watching as some of Drakken's goons waved was they canoed by on the lake.
"Try the refrigerator." Shego said.
"Refriger-"
"Drakken forgot to hook it up, and I didn't find out until I opened it today…"
"How lon-" Kim avoided a blazing hand.
"A week."
"Eugh."
"Enough! Shego, now!" Shego attacked in a flurry of moves, and Kim moved back…but suddenly, her foot was caught on a branch.
"Got you now!"
"And soon, I will have the password!" Drakken crowed.
The password? The one that We found before the last lair blew up? Oh No. Oh NO. Kim thought.
Kim desperately backpedaled. Her enemy didn't know it, but she was trying to save him! But then, it happened. Trying to get away from the branch, she slipped, fell, and ended up with Shego holding her, helpless.
"Got you now, Princess…" Shego grinned. "OK, Dr. D… get your info!"
"Never!" Kim said.
"Kimberly Ann Possible… your Buffoon is tied up, the mole rat is in a cage, and now…now you will tell me what I need to know…what you swiped from my desk." Drakken said.
"Never!"
"Wow, it must be serious." Shego said. "What is it?"
"My email password!" Drakken shouted. Shego stopped. Let Kim go. Looked over at Drakken.
"You're doing all of this for a password? To what?"
"My, ah, email account. And, er…my checking account. And my savings account?" Shego blinked and glared.
"ARE YOU AN IDIOT!" She shouted, "Do you know how easy identify theft is when you have only one password? We could be paying for some hackers vacation right now!"
"But Shego, it's too hard to remember..." Drakken whined. Shego growled and glared down at Kim.
"You! How many passwords do you have?"
"One for every bank account, data file and one that changes weekly for my diary." Kim said.
"You!" She shouted to Ron.
"Um…five?"
"See!" Shego snarled, "See! You're probably the only person who doesn't have more than one password…and you forgot it!" Then she glared down. "And Princess, there had better be no Club Banana bills on his statement."
"Hey! You're the thief."
"Well, maybe I'm rubbing off on you, Kimmie."
"Eeeewwww!" Kim said.
"Now out with the password!" Shego said.
"To you?"
"Why not, he's going to have to change it—and add a lot more, anyway." Kim opened her mouth and blanched.
"Maybe I'd better tell him." Suddenly Drakken, looking at her confused, also blanched.
"I remember it!" he said brightly, "Come Shego, no need to detain the young, ah-heh people anymore, It's a bright sunny day and…" Shego had gotten a look of deep suspicion on her face.
"Hold it." She said.
"Ah…yes?" Drakken asked brightly.
"Why are you so eager for me to not hear that password?"
"Password? What, oh, THAT password. No, I'm not worried about that at all, Shego…"
"Then what is it?"
"Nothing, nothing important, Shego."
"Drakken…" Then Shego got a look on her face, and smiled down at Kim.
"Kimmie…" Kim looked seriously worried. Not due to the possible physical danger, but due to the fact that Shego had…that look on her face. The same one she'd had when she'd sworn she'd get even with Kim for ruining her vacation the one time Kim had thought to catch her unawares. Kim shuddered.
"Oh, remembering?" Shego asked.
"You smuggled a male exotic dancer into my room and than called Dad!" Kim said, "Do you know how close I came to being grounded forever?"
"Yes." Shego said, "I bugged the room." Now her look got more ominous. "I could get… much more creative…and I hear the cheerleading competitions are coming up…"
"Shego, the rest of the team—you wouldn't?"
"Do something to them? Of course not Kimmie…. And I wouldn't even do anything to you. I'd just hire the entire male staff of the Beefcake Bar and Club to come, and sit, next to your parents, with a banner reading: "For our special and close Friend, Kim Possible."" Kim turned pale, went red, started to go pale again and then evidently decided to split the difference at deep pink.
"You Fiend!" Then Ron decided to show his support for Kim.
"I bet I could take it if you hired the female staff of the playboy mansion to do that to me!" Ron said from where he was tied up.
"RON!" Kim shouted, "You're not helping!"
"I am, I'm trying to distract that evil lady!" He said.
"How about if I send the Beefcake Bar I was going to send over to cheer Kim on to school to meet you?" Shego asked.
"Ew, Wrongsick, WrongSICK!" Ron said, hyperventilating and than passed out.
"So, Kimmie…"
"Kimberly, think of all the good times we've had together?" Drakken pleaded.
"Last week you shrank me and put me in a terrarium with a pet snake!" Kim shouted.
"Well, I let you play with my pets!" Drakken rallied gamely. That evidently wasn't the right thing to say as Kim got a nasty, nasty look on her face.
"OK." Kim said. "But I'll whisper it to you. Don't want a minion hearing it, do we?"
"OK." Shego said and quickly leaned her head down to Kim, ready for some attack.
None came…but suddenly, Shego turned pale, red, back to pale, and ended up about the same tone as Kim had been.
"He didn't."
"He did."
"I…." Shego shook her head, as Kim started giggling, as Ron groggily woke up and watched as Shego evidently needed a repeat.
"WHAT?" Shego shouted, even though she seemed to have trouble breathing, to Kim—"What is the password?" Kim, even given her position had to giggle.
"CuddlyShego." She repeated.
"Cuddly Shego? CuddlyShego….CUDDLYSHEGO?!" She turned to Drakken, who started to back up.
"It's something nobody would imagine…"
"That I'm Cuddly? You're saying nobody would even think that about me?" Both Kim and Ron winced. Could Draken say anything worse?
"No…no…" Drakken said, hands up. His minions were fleeing, including the two in the canoe, who had somehow managed to get it airborne. "You can be very cuddly—I remember when you were depressed over the fact that Kim had beaten you and she had the twisted ankle so you couldn't fight for a month?" Shego's mouth was opening, but no sound came out. Drakken took this as a good sign, more fool he. "And because of that you started comfort eating and when you found out Kim was back in the game, you had to spend two weeks at the Bally's? You were getting quite cuddly then." Ron closed his eyes. Kim closed her eyes. Yes. He had found something worse to say.
"You…you just…called me non Cuddly, and called me FAT in the same minute!" Shego said, and then suddenly, "I'll SHOW YOU CUDDLY! FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Drakken screamed as the bolt of energy seared just over his head, and turned around and started to run. Very, very fast. Kim got up, dusted herself off and walked over to Ron, undoing the bonds.
"Wow." Ron said, "He's moving fast."
"Yeah." Kim mentioned. From the distance, they could hear the voices.
"Fat? I'll show you fat! I'll give you cuddly…"
"Shego, please! Ow!"
"So, want to go to a movie?" Ron asked.
"Any choices?"
"I was thinking Godzilla vs. The Biker Gang?"
"How could I have ever guessed." Kim paused, "So, Ron…how do you name your passwords?"
"OH, well… Oh, look, a bird!" Ron shouted. Whew. Kim fell for it. He thought, not noticing the smile on her face.
"C'mon, Mr. Smooth… we have a movie to get to…and maybe after that, you could introduce me to the friends Shego was going to let you meet?"
"Friends…who, oh, the-WRONGSICK, KP!"
The End.