A/N: I don't usually write this kind of fic but I couldn't get the idea out of my head. It's TATE, of course, but it may get kind of heavy. There will eventually be some adult situations but nothing really graphic so the rating may be subject to change. Just thought I should warn you. And the title comes from Big & Rich.

A/N 2: I've been having trouble getting the next chapter just right for my other NCIS fic, Cure My Tragedy, so I decided to write this instead. I promise to keep working on both fics and I apologize to anyone who's been waiting for that next chapter. I could probably use some ppl to run that chapter by since I'm having so many problems, so let me know if anyone's interested. Please review, it's what keeps me writing!

Disclaimer: N.C.I.S. and its characters belong to bellesario, and "Holy Water" belongs to Big & Rich.

Holy Water

Tony knew that something wasn't right the minute Kate stepped off the elevator. She was smiling, but he could tell it wasn't real. She was using the smile as a shield to keep anyone from seeing the truth, but that never worked with Tony. She thought she was so strong and that she could fool everyone but Tony always so through her. Everything he needed to know was in her eyes, even if no one else could see it.

Somewhere there's a stolen halo

I used to watch her wear it well

Everything would shine wherever she would go

But looking at her now you'd never tell

He didn't like what he saw in her eyes now, and he wanted nothing more than to rush to her side and take of her. He could see a mixture of hurt and fear reflected in her eyes but what really got him was the spark of guilt, like whatever was hurting her now was her own fault. Right now, she wasn't the kick-ass, totally self-confident Kate he knew and loved, and he was filled with a momentary need to kill whoever had made her feel this way.

Kate made her way to the desk, praying she could keep her mask in place for the rest of the day. She didn't want anyone to know what had happened. They couldn't find out. It would change everything. She let out a sigh of relief when she reached her desk. So far, no one suspected a thing. No one had looked at her differently or asked her any questions. She could do this.

She sat down and took a deep breath to calm herself down. It didn't work, of course. She reached for her phone to check her messages and noticed Tony staring at her. Instead of his usual megawatt smile or devious smirk she saw a heated look of concern that burned right through the fragile mask she was working so hard to keep in place. She froze with a deer-in-the-headlights look as they locked eyes. Oh my God, she thought, he knows.

She quickly looked away, almost guiltily. This was horrible. Tony was probably the absolute last person she wanted to know the truth. She couldn't take this. She should have just called in sick but she hadn't wanted to be all alone at home. She thought this was the lesser of two evils, but she'd been wrong. She had to get out of here, but that would look suspicious. She had to be smart about this. She needed to think. As nonchalantly as possible, she stood and slowly walked to the stairwell.

Now, he was even more worried after the way she'd reacted. She knew that she'd been busted and he was terrified she was going to leave. He'd almost jumped up to run after her when she'd walked away but he'd fought the urge. She obviously didn't want everyone to know and he didn't want to do anything that might cause her more pain. Besides, he noted that she'd left her purse behind so she probably wasn't fleeing from the building. Knowing Kate, he'd realized exactly where she was going. He waited two extremely long minutes before casually entering the stairwell.

Kate stared out at the grey, overcast sky from her perch on the roof. It looked like the sky could let loose at any second, which reflected her mood perfectly. She wondered for the millionth time how everything had gotten so screwed up. She'd thought that she'd finally put everything behind her, but she'd been wrong. The past definitely had a way of biting her in the ass every time she thought she'd finally escaped it. Even with all of her government training she still didn't know how to deal with this.

She heard the door behind her open and closed her eyes, trying to shut everything out. It was the old child's trick, if I can't see you then you can't see me. If she couldn't see him, then he wasn't there. Too bad she couldn't still believe that. She felt him stop right behind her but she still jumped when he placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Kate."

He quickly dropped his hand to his side when he saw her flinch like she was afraid of him and tried to ignore how much her reaction hurt. She slowly turned to face him and he was once again struck by the sadness in her eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "What's wrong, Katie?"

She froze and all the color drained from her face. The hurt in her eyes magnified and he felt like a total ass, but he had no clue what he'd said that was so bad. He saw unshed tears shining in her eyes as she whispered, "Don't. Please?" Her pained plea nearly broke his heart, but he wasn't sure exactly what she was asking.

"Don't what? I don't understand." His voice was low and filled with remorse. He hated causing her pain but he needed to know what was wrong. His eyes pleaded with her to let him in.

"Don't call me that. Please, just don't." It came out barely above a whisper and she silently prayed he'd leave it at that. She'd already been on the verge of losing it, but that nickname was about to send her over the edge.

"I'm sorry. I just want to help you. Please, you have to let me in, let me help you. Tell me what happened. I promise that I just want to make it better."

She could see her own pain reflected in his eyes and she knew that he really did care. "I can't. I just can't." She turned away from him quickly, hoping he hadn't seen the tear slide down her cheek.

The sight of Kate crying was like a punch in the gut, and the fact that she'd turned away and refused to confide in him hurt more than he'd like to admit. But he couldn't be dissuaded. He took a step forward, completely closing the gap between them, and took a huge chance. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him. She didn't flinch this time, which he took as a good sign.

"It's okay. It's all going to be okay, just tell me what happened and I'll make whoever hurt you pay. I promise." He whispered in her ear in an attempt to console her even though he had no clue what was going on. All he knew was that something horrible had to have happened and that whoever had caused this deserved to die. Her silent tears turned to sobs so he spun her around until she was nestled snuggly against his chest. Kate didn't fight it. Instead, she buried her head in his shirt and let her tears flow.

He held her as tight as he could for what seemed like ages. Kate hated the way she was acting but she was reacting but she couldn't make the tears stop. It felt so good right now to be held and to be able to let everything out. She didn't want to admit it, but she never wanted to leave his arms. Despite everything that was going on, he actually made her feel like everything would be okay as long as she was in his arms.

Finally, her sobs quieted and she slowly looked up at Tony like he had all the answers in the world. He took in her tearstained face and wished he could take all her pain away. First, he needed to know what was going on. Kate buried her face in his shirt again and he worried that she was going to retreat from him. He couldn't let that happen, so he reached down and tilted her chin up with a single finger.

"Hey," he whispered tenderly, "It's okay. Why don't I go get you're purse and take you home? You can tell me what's wrong and we can figure something out, okay?" He really needed her to agree to this. He definitely needed to get her home since she was in no condition to work, and he figured he'd have a better chance of getting her to talk outside of the office.

She started to shake her head. "We can't just leave. Gibbs will want to know why and…" She was cut off when he placed a finger to her lips. He didn't want her to start worrying anymore than she already was.

"I'll take care of Gibbs. I'll just tell him that you're sick and I'm going to take you home. I promise you that I won't tell him anything. Just trust me?" The last part came out as a question that he really needed her to say yes to. He needed to know that she trusted him, and not just because of whatever was going on.

Luckily for him she nodded, "Of course I trust you, Tony," and he breathed a big sigh of relief. It would have been like someone ripping out his heart if she'd have said she didn't trust him.

He didn't want to let her out of his arms but he knew they needed to get home so they could talk. "Come on." He took her hand to keep some kind of contact and led her to the stairwell door.

They stopped outside of the door to the office and Tony was forced to drop her hand. "Be right back." He hated leaving her for even a second so he had to do this quick. He went straight to her desk to grab her purse, which earned a raised eyebrow from Gibbs, then crossed to his desk to grab his bag. Now came the harder part.

"Hey, boss, Kate isn't feeling well so I'm going to take her home, okay?"

Gibbs eyed Tony suspiciously and left him hanging for a moment before he agreed. "Fine, get her home and make sure she's okay, but don't take too long. We'll already be an agent down so I'll need you back here ASAP. Got it?"

"Got it, boss." Tony said as he rushed back to the stairwell to retrieve Kate. He knew he wouldn't be back ASAP but he'd have to deal with Gibbs later. He had way more important things to worry about right now.

Gibbs watched Tony retreat. He wasn't stupid and he knew he was being lied to. He'd noticed them leave a few minutes apart and had immediately been suspicious. He'd always wondered when something would happen between them but he was sure that hadn't happened yet, so he couldn't figure out why they were suddenly skipping out of work. Even if they'd suddenly admitted their feelings there was no way they'd be so irresponsible as to ditch work. That meant something else was going on that they didn't want anyone to know about. His gut told him that something was wrong, but he knew that he had to trust his agents. He'd had to let Tony take Kate home and hope like hell that they could handle whatever was wrong.