Warnings: You might fall off a cliff at the end…

Ways to Skin a Cat

Chapter One: The Exposition

I was not a good daughter. At least, according to my father, I wasn't. I wasn't a good daughter simply because I wasn't a son. It wasn't my mother's fault, of course, that I wasn't a boy, it was my fault. I, after all, had been the one to so belligerently refuse to be a boy.

That is a perfectly logical conclusion, if you were my father. To the rest of the family, which consisted of only my mother and me, we found him to be slightly off center when it came to particulars like that. However, we didn't let it bother us too much in my early years.

When I was younger, my mother gave me all the love that my father refused to. She read to me before bedtime and played with me beforehand, helping me to enact my fantasies in fashion that most children would envy greatly. We would turn entire rooms into dark, slime covered palaces where the Dark Lord lived or bright, sunny fields where unicorns romped alongside fairies and elves.

We were very imaginative, my mother and I.

This couldn't go on forever, since by the age of seven I was far too sophisticated to play such silly games as make believe. I wouldn't be caught dead in a room where the word 'unicorn' was mentioned, and if anyone such much as breathed a word of the fey creatures, my budding sensibilities were horrified beyond belief.

Once I turned ten, my mother had taken to traveling around the countryside that surrounded our manor often, usually staying out for weeks at a time. She never took me, no matter how much I begged to go. She said that her trips were far too dangerous for a little girl like me. I naturally thought myself to be quite the mature adult and cried harder when she left me just the same.

The times that my mother was away were the loneliest times of my life. I had no one who would talk to me without calling me 'miss' or 'young Sera'. There was no one who would call me 'Kelry' instead of the longer, more formal version of my name 'Kelryian'. The only person, in the loosest sense of the word, which I had to talk to, was the Cat. We had many cats at our manor, mostly around the stables, but there was only one Cat.

The Cat was the only gift that I ever got from my father, since he liked to pretend that I didn't exist. I had gotten the nasty black tom on my first birthday, and he had stayed with me ever since. I think that then, my father still had hope that I would turn out to be a boy when I was older. After all, many children look androgynous at such a young age. Needless to say, he was rather put out when I remained female.

The Cat did have a name, but everyone except I knew him by 'that Cat!', so I referred to him as that so as to avoid as much confusion as possible. When we were alone, I could talk to Nero for hours on end about everything and nothing. I told him all of my troubles and his listened with as much disinterest as he could muster. Usually he fell asleep on a window ledge by the third sentence I spoke, but I didn't mind. At least he never interrupted me.

As I grew older, Mother's trips became longer and more frequent, and I saw her less and less. I was handed over to a governess who was determined to make me into a lady by the age of fifteen. My governess, a plump matron named Ulga, whom I promptly nicknamed 'Ugly', was basically a kind woman. She never yelled at me unless I was being truly horrible; mostly, she just yelled at Nero. He was the one that got in the most trouble.

At the age of thirteen, I knew how to sew the tiniest of stitches and ride gentle palfreys sidesaddle across rolling hills. By fourteen I could make a fine assortment of delicate pastries, tarts and other delights, as well as reply to any question posed of me without actually answering. When I turned fifteen, I was deemed a lady as fine (if not finer) than any other in the land by dear Ulga, and presented to my father for his judgment.

If I had been hoping that he would suddenly sweep me into his arms and the years of silence would be washed away in one fell swoop, I would have been mistaken. However, I had been expecting no such thing, as Mother was there in all her effusive glory to make up for his apathetic rejection.

"Oh darling," she cried, falling upon me with a joyous hug, "You've grown so!" She had been away for the past year to oversee something or other that I didn't care about; all I had cared about was that she wasn't there.

"I have," I agreed, hugging her tightly in response.

"Karise," My father ordered, "Stop that."

My mother pulled away reluctantly, giving him a venomous look that she thought I couldn't see. It was very unladylike, and very unlike my sweet mother. "Aloysius, really!" She huffed, but sat beside him.

"Daughter," my father began, spitting the word out distastefully, "You are now a…lady."

I suddenly suspected that he didn't remember my name.

"I am, father, and I am yours to command."

"Good, good." Ser Aloysius shifted uneasily in his chair. "Then you shall be wed!"

Mother gasped, clapping her hands over the horrified 'o' of her mouth. "Aloysius! You can't! Kelry is too young for such a thing!"

"Hush, Karise. You do not know what you say." My father stood before me, a smile coming to his lips. "Yes, Kelry, you will be wed."

I was tempted to raise my hand to question him, but restrained myself with no mean effort. However, my struggled must have been evident to him, for he sighed and asked me, "Yes?"

"You said I will be wed-"

He interrupted me swiftly, grey eyes flashing with sharp warning. "You said that you were mine to command, and command I have! You shall not stray from the path I have set you on."

"Yes, but who, precisely, am I to wed?"

My query seemed to create something of a quandary for him, as he didn't say anything for a long period of time.

Mother smiled sweetly, mockingly, "Yes, Aloysius, who will my dear Kelryian wed?"

Snarling, her turned on my mother and declared, "The first man who comes for her, that's who, be he old, young, infirm or aught else- the first one who comes for her!"

I gaped; this was far worse that I had expected. That first man could be absolutely anyone! I had anticipated as soon as the decree left his mouth about my marrying that he had chosen someone who could only add to his assets. This rash decision on my father's part could lead to ruin…for the both of us.

"Um…I don't think that that's qu-."

I was cut off with an angry slash of a hand. "You don't think, Kelryian. You were not bred to think, you were bred to breed again."

"Aloysius! That's no way to talk to your daughter!" Mother came quickly to my defense. "Honestly, you should learn manners. If I had known you were this much of a brute when we were betrothed, I would have run away. Now, control yourse-"

This time it was she who was cut off with his hand; my father swung hard and hit her on the cheek with the flat of his hand, sending a reverberating slap throughout the room.

She gasped, shaken. "How dare you!"

He rounded on Mother, his brow furrowed in an angry arch. "You've gone to far, Karise. You are the one who needs self-control, not I." Father's words came out low, sibilant, and very threatening. "Do not contest my authority again, or I will rescind the freedoms I have granted you."

"What freedoms?" Mother glared black, matching fire for fire. "You send me away to be rid of me, not out of the generosity of your heart!"

"Speak no more, wretched woman. Kelryian!" I snapped to attention, hastily refocusing on my father.

"Yes, Father?" I was poised, perfect. I was such a lady.

"Get out!" He barked.

I quailed at his harsh words. "Yes, sir." I curtseyed once and then escaped to a safer room. Even once I was in the study, half a house away from my parents, I could still hear their argument.

Sadly, I nestled into the chair and pulled out my embroidery. As long as I was waiting in half-exile, I might as well do something productive.

The needle dipped in and out of the fabric, drawing the green thread for the stems of delicate roses into place with each stitch. Carefully, ever carefully, a leaf unfurled from beneath my fingers. Slowly, ever slowly, I grew bored with the tedious task of tiny stitches, and my head sank down onto the desk, where soon I was fast asleep.

"Up! Get up you lazy girl! Up!" My nurse's rough command startled me awake.

"What?" I straightened my stiff back and groaned in pain. "What do you want?"

Ulga chuckled at me, her amusement at my disheveled appearance tracing tiny lines around her eyes. "Milord Aloysius requests your presence in the parlor as soon as you are fit to be seen."

Fairly sure that my father had not been nearly so polite, I acquiesced relatively willingly. "Ulga?"

"Yes, chickpea?" The rolls of her second chin jiggled slightly when she spoke and I made a face.

"Why does Father want me?"

She smiled down at me, patting my head familiarly. "I haven't a clue, m'dear, not a clue."

"Oh." I paused, stretched again, and then rose. "Shall we go make me look presentable?"

"Yes, Kelry. Right away, I should think." Ulga smiled sadly at me, her usual cheerful disposition replaced by nostalgia. "Let's go make you into a lady." She grabbed my hand, hauling me out of my chair easily.

"Yes, let's," I agreed with her.

As soon as I was looking neat and tidy again, Ulga sent me out the door and to the parlor with two pinched to my cheeks, to give them color. I glared at her, but sauntered off without retaliating.

I suppose that she was entitled to some sort of motherly endearment like that; she had practically raised me after all. But even still…my grumbling continued until I reached the parlor.

"Smile," I whispered to myself. "Be nice." Ladylike. "Ready? Go." I slipped through the heavy doors, floating gracefully across the floor with a demur smile on my lips. "Father, you called for me?"

"Yes, I did. Get over here."

So much for pleasantries.

"Yes, sir," I murmured, watching the toes of my shoes ruffle the hem of my gown. As soon as I reached his side, I dared to look up. A startled "Oh," escaped from my lips as I saw the guest who was seated before my father.

He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. Considering that I hadn't seen many men, for true ladies were not to be exposed to the horrid outdoors, it wasn't much to say that he was the most handsome. However, by anyone's standards, his finely sculpted features and shock of dark hair were not merely pleasant to look at but highly attractive.

"Sera Kelryian Relandrant, what a pleasure to meet you." The stranger stood, bowed and then carried my unresisting fingertips to his lips for the briefest of kisses.

I smiled vapidly for several awkward seconds, and then, after a pinch from my father, launched into the role of a perfect young lady. "It's very nice to meet you as well, good sir. Would you care for refreshments? Or have you already partaken of the hospitality that we most willingly provide for you?" I paused to take a breath, analyzing him even as I admired him. "My father and I are very glad to have you here with us today; we greatly appreciate your visit." He was wealthy; the cut of his clothing was quite fashionable and the fabric was good. This man was also well bred; his every move reflected the upbringing that he had no doubt received.

"Hush, girl. The servants have already been through. No need to bore our dear Prince again with such trivialities," Father huffed. "Really, I thought you knew better."

I was tempted to make a face, but hastily decided against it, since neither my father nor Prince Daryan val Tännon would appreciate it. "I'm sorry. I shan't do it again."

"Good," he grumbled.

Prince Daryan cleared his throat to regain our attention. "Aloysius, you said that you had called me here to discuss something very important…?"

I gasped in sudden realization. Father was planning to betroth me to Prince Daryan! I was to be Queen!

Father frowned at me, but then turned to Daryan and began to speak in his gravelly voice. "Yes. It's very important. As you know, I have no sons."

"I'm sorry," the Prince interrupted, a bored tone edging his voice. "But what do your ineptitudes have to do with me?"

"Patience," Father counseled, "All will be revealed shortly. Now, where I was; with no sons, there is no one who may inherit my lands and properties under the current law. I do not object to this law, in fact- I think it is an excellent institution." At a slight cough from Daryan, he rushed on. "I would like to bequeath my lands to the Crown and its beneficiaries upon my death."

My jaw slowly dropped open. I couldn't fathom that my father had just disinherited his own child!

"Why, precisely, do you want to do this?" Daryan's expressive lips were pursed in puzzlement. "You have a daughter, and her husband could inherit your lands when you marry."

"Her? She's likely to wed none at all or the worst of the lot. I can't have such fine and expensive things falling into the hands of a drunkard or a beggar, could I?" A small smile crept to Father's lips as he saw my dismay at his insults. "Honestly, my Prince, I wish to declare here and now, in front of a witness and the Crown, that the Crown is now the sole heir to my private fortune."

"Father, I must have heard you incorrectly. Please, repeat for me what you just said so that I may understand in full." I tried my hardest to phrase my demand politely, but I visibly struggled.

"You can't understand, silly girl. There will be a small stipend for you, of course. But an incompetent female like yourself won't put a single finger on my fortune." My father smiled ruthlessly as I cast about wildly for the proper words. "It just isn't right for you to have so much. You couldn't possibly manage it."

"But why?" I whined pitifully, acting like the child I still was.

"Must I explain it to you again?"

"Excuse me," a soft, cool voice broke into our heated conversation. "May I explain it to the young Sera?"

"If you wish." Father nodded and sat back in his chair.

I wished I had a chair; if I had a seat, I wouldn't be so afraid of fainting from pure shock.

"Sera Kelryian, please, know that this is for the good of the Crown." Daryan rose from his chair and took my arm. "If you will give us just a moment alone, Aloysius, just a minute or two. I believe that your presence upsets her."

Father looked outraged, but did as he was told, exiting the parlor promptly.

"Now, Kelryian, you must understand some things." His hand on my arm made my face flush; I had never been this close to a man before, and it was quite unsettling. "Your Father follows an old-fashioned system of values. He has not been taken in by the modern ideals of equality that are so prevalent in our society."

"What does this have to do with my disinheritance?" I demanded sullenly.

"Patience, like Aloysius says." Prince Daryan pulled a wry face. "The nerve! To give advice to a Prince, why, it's preposterous!" Then, suddenly, he smiled. "You want to know what I think, Kelryian?"

"Yes, of course I do, oh Prince." I flashed a dark look up at him from under my lashes. He still had possession of my arm, and I tried ineffectually to pull away.

"I believe in my own ideas," He whispered in my ear, bending down so that he was on level with me.

I turned hesitantly around, so that I was face to face with him, something I had been told never to do. Ever. "And what are those?" I found myself whispering in response.

"I believe that pleasure is the true treasure, a sport I seek at every turn, making it my own if I cannot find it." His pale eyes never wavered from mine for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

He laughed softly. "You will understand in time, little Sera."

"But I want to understand now!" I cried plaintively. It was the closest I had come to a temper tantrum in years.

"You aren't old enough. You may be a lady, but it is in name only." Prince Daryan smiled at me, and my heart stopped for a moment in time.

It was that moment that was my undoing.

Author's Note: So, I'm back again, and I've brought another lovely girl with me! I hope you've enjoyed her. Would you like me to continue this, or should I just quit now?

Your opinions are very much appreciated, as always!

Thanks!

Love, EvenSong