Hello! I had been going through fanfictions, and I wondered how the characters would react when they read them, so this came to life! If your fanfiction appears here, I'm not making fun of it, I found it worthy enough to be here (if you consider this worthy)! Some of these I liked, except for the Butler and Artemis ones. Butler is like Fifty-five and Artemis is fourteen. Talk about child molestation . . . (shiver)

Artemis typed into his laptop, scanning the screen rapidly. Butler had noticed the boy, looking over the screen as if his life depended on it. "Artemis what are you doing?" he asked, raising one eyebrow in a questionable manner. "Well, Holly told me of these people who wrote 'fanfictions' about us, and she said they were really amusing, so I decided to check on what she was talking about."

Butler leaned in and stared at the screen, on the top, it said, and there were a couple of categories shown in the screen. "What are we under?" the body guard frowned as he looked at the computer. "Holly said it was books." Butler shook his head, dreading the possible outcomes of this.

Artemis clicked on the word 'Books' and suddenly a long list of books appeared. Of course, the boy didn't have to search long for his name, because it was straight away in the A's section. Smirking as he clicked in his name, he was transported to another section. The actual fanfiction. Artemis didn't really read the summaries or pay attention to the rating, which was a bad idea.

"He groaned slightly as the older man pushed his lips against his . . . " the fanfiction read. Artemis stared at it disgusted, and Butler choked. "What is wrong with these people?" the young boy asked, looking horrified. "This is really sick. Now I have become a child molester . . . and a homosexual." Butler muttered, looking displeased, and completely grossed out.

"All of them can't be bad can they?" Artemis wondered aloud, as he got out of the horrifying story and proceeded to go into another, once again, not reading the summary.

"Yes, our genius hero was dancing. Of course, it looked as though he was having sex with an invisible person . . . " This fiction read. Artemis stared at it, horrified yet again, and Butler couldn't help but laugh. "I would not dance in that sort of way!" Artemis snapped, glaring at the computer screen profusely. "And Butler, it's not funny!"

Butler wiped a tear of laughter of his eye, before apologizing, "I'm sorry, Artemis, it's just that . . "

Artemis scanned some of the fanfictions. "Who is this Alex Rider person? And why am I a homosexual in most of these things?" Artemis asked, irritated. "I don't know, maybe girls like gay guys?" Butler suggested, not making Artemis feel any better. "This one has your name in the summary. Want to know what it's about?" the genius asked the larger man. "Sure why not? What can be worse than already being pictured as a rapist or a homosexual?" Apparently, much worse. "Juliet? My own sister? And myself? That's just sick!" The body guard looked ready to vomit, as his face turned green. Artemis looked disgusted too so he went back.

"Artemis pushed Juliet against the wall, before forcing his lips onto hers . . . " Artemis sighed as he read this too. People were just sick. Butler, however, was eyeing him suspiciously. "What's wrong?" asked Artemis when he noticed the odd stares from him. "Where did they get that idea, Artemis?" Butler asked dryly. "I didn't do anything of the sort! This is all made up! Tell me, did I ever make out with you?" Artemis snapped. Butler stared at him for a second, "Good Point."

Artemis scanned the rest of the fanfictions, bored at some times, disgusted at others, and then he was wondering who some of the girls written in the summaries were. Victoria Evalen? Sasha Bridgewater? Many possible theories ran through his head, but he continued seeing the rest of the written works.

"He trailed his lips downward, before passing his tongue over . . "

"WOAH! YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG TOO READ THIS!" Butler exclaimed horrified, as he covered Artemis' eyes. "What? What is it?" the boy asked, protesting in curiousity, though Butler got out of the sick story, before he let the boy go.

"A.Fo?" asked Artemis, as he read another one. "Why am I acting like a ganster, and dancing in front of the mirror wearing Spider-Man underwear?" Butler stiffled his laughter, tears leaking out of his eyes. "Ho?" Artemis continued, confused. "What's that mean?" Butler shook his head, wondering how Artemis was so clueless. "What's funny Butler? Do you know what that word means?"

"It's slang for prostitute Artemis," Butler finally answered, after regaining his breath. "So I called some ugly creature a prostitute and hugged it?" Artemis asked, still confused. "Well . . . "

Holly suddenly stepped into the room, walking up the teenager boy. "You found these amusing?" he barked, surprised at the elf. "In a way, yes. I didn't expect you to be gay, Mud Boy."

"I'm not homosexual!" Artemis exclaimed.

"Why are you yelling?" Juliet came into the room. "She said I'm--" Artemis started before Juliet interrupted. "Oh, you're reading that junk?"

"Holly said it amusing, which it is apparantly NOT." Artemis muttered back, annoyed.

"I know. There was one where you were having sex with me, like a bunch of times," Juliet responded, uninterestedly. "What?" Artemis coughed, his eyes wide, and Butler eyed him again. "Geez, stop being such a slut," Holly joked, however Juliet did not see it this way. "WHAT?" she shrieked, tackling the elf to the ground.

"I'M NOT A SLUT!" Juliet screamed loudly. "I was joking! OWCH!" Holly screamed back, trying to pry the blonde wrestler off. Artemis narrowed his eyes in annoyance as he stared down at the two fighting girls. "I suppose someone has thought of this too."

There was a slight pause, before Butler stated, "They did."