Over and Over, a grey's anatomy fanfic

So I wrote this. And I know that I should have been writing the other. But instead I wrote this. Personally I like it. And I named it "Over and Over" by Nelly and Tim McGraw. Not a combo I usually listen to, together or separately, but I was sitting in class listening to the proff drone on about Mrs. Joe in Great Expectations and it occurred to me that the lyrics fit that general situation pretty well.

So when you are reading, just imagine that the majority of the things that are said are not being said so much as being screamed and yelled at the top of Addison and Derek's lungs.

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Derek lay on the bed. He had been reading, reading in the sense that there was a book lying across his chest. He had no idea what the book even was.

He was thinking. He was thinking of everything and nothing. He was thinking about his marriage. He was thinking about Mark. He was thinking about Addison. He was thinking about Mark and Addison.

He was thinking about Meredith. He was thinking about him and Meredith. He was thinking about him and Addison. But mostly he was trying not to think at all.

He had been laying like this, thinking, when she had walked in the door. She hadn't looked at him and she hadn't spoken to him. And he was grateful. He didn't want to look or speak to her either.

Addison had walked in the door and immediately locked herself in the bathroom. She was numb. Her thoughts muddled beyond comprehension. She stepped into the confines of the shower. Showering until there was not a drop of hot water left. Then she stood under the frigid spray until her body registered the the fact that it was shivering.

When she finally left the complete safety of the bathroom, she went directly to the relative safety of the kitchen. Sitting on the counter was the bottle Derek had bought yesterday.

Scotch.

Single malt.

His favorite.

Mark's too.

How ironic.

The bottle was half empty. Addison closed her eyes for a minute, trying to talk herself out of what she knew would be a bad idea. But at this point she didn't really care.

She took out a coffee mug and poured herself half the remaining liquid. She took a gulp, tears springing to her eyes, and poured more in to the cup. She curled up in the corner by the kitchenette table. She wasn't going to cry. She was stronger then that, the tears in her eyes were there because of the scotch.

It was just the scotch.

Derek had seen her sit down out of the corner of his eye. He had also seen her pour a large amount of scotch into a coffee cup. And he knew that she couldn't hold her liquor.

But he didn't care.

He had drunk himself into a stupor 2 hours ago and was still reaping the hazy benefits. And his glass was still half full on the night stand. He just continued to stare at the wall.

Addison.

Meredith.

Addison.

Meredith.

Mark.

Addison.

Mark.

Addison.

Meredith.

Addison.

An hour passed. Neither inhabitant of the trailer moved a muscle except to take a drink. The dog paced nervously between the pair. Even he could sense the tension. Finally he settled on the couch where he could watch over them both.

By 3 am both had finished their drinks and poured themselves more. Addison finishing the bottle from the kitchen, and Derek starting the new bottle he had stashed under the bed when he got home from the hospital.

Derek had become increasingly aware of how many times Addison had lifted her cup on the other side of the wall.

He was glad that she was hurting.

He closed his eyes and considered giving in to the spinning darkness and sleeping. But a sudden noise stopped him.

Addison had left. She had gone outside. In February. In only a bathrobe. Derek closed his eyes again.

She could freeze if she wanted.