A/N: Chapter 2 had a bit added to the end. If you read it before this chapter went up, you may want to go back and re-read the end.

Rebecca walked until well past dark through the streets of Gilead. As she turned towards the tall, white castle for the final time she passed a tavern with an unusual amount of noise coming from it. Peeking in proved the source; Cuthbert Allgood, the biggest mouth in Gilead, was trying to out drink one of the lower Councilmen, who had a fairly impressive beer gut on his side. Allgood lost to a round of cheers, and as he was looking around for someone else to race his eyes lighted on Robert.

"Small sai!" he hailed and stumbled over his chair to more laughter.

Rebecca turned quickly to leave but was grabbed and pulled back in by someone. "Now here's a fellow you might actually be able to beat!" the man behind her bellowed as she cringed.

"Yes!" Cuthbert roared at her, "here! Drink!"

"Thankee, sai, but I was just on my way back to my rooms…" Rebecca made it a point never to get drunk; drunks tended to say and do things they wouldn't otherwise say or do, and she couldn't afford to tell a roomful of 'slingers that she was a girl. Besides, the last time she had been drunk Lane had taken advantage of her and tricked her into kissing him. She'd rather not end up kissing Cuthbert Allgood, or any of the other 'slingers here for that matter.

There was a round of disappointment and Rebecca turned to go until Jamie DeCurry called out behind her. "Hey, sai Baine right? Put in a good word for me with your cousin! Your uncle wouldn't want to waste such a fine gilly on that Morgan kid."

Another round of laughter rippled through as Rebecca stopped and took a deep breath. How dare he call her a gilly-girl! She was no whore! She had felt like one lately, to say true, but she was no whore.

"My cousin is no gilly, sai," she spat the words out like ice, "and I wouldn't put in a good word for you if you had both your guns to my head."

The room immediately sobered at the words and Jamie's face burned red. "Why you little maggot…" He jumped and pulled his right gun, pinning Rebecca to the wall by her throat, the hard barrel of the gun against her temple. "Would you care to repeat that, sai?" he growled.

Rebecca flinched back and wondered how she had managed to get herself into the same position twice in only a few hours. "I said my cousin is no whore," she replied through clenched teeth.

"DeCurry, put down your guns, sai. He's just a kid," someone said in the room. But Jamie shook his head no.

"He's a kid who needs to learn some manners," he growled and slammed her against the wall harder.

Rebecca's breath came out as her back hit the wall, and with it went her fear. The 'battle reds' as her and Lane called them came down over her vision as her survival instincts kicked in. She gave a guttural yell and hooked a foot behind DeCurry, pushing him back with her right hand and using her left to move his gun so she wouldn't be shot in the head. As he lost his balance and fell backwards in surprise he took her with him and she landed on top of him, grabbing his left gun from his holster and rolling to the side to point it at his head.

For ten seconds the whole tavern froze. Allgood broke the silence.

"Man Jesus, DeCurry," he laughed, "you just got your ass kicked by a kid."

No one laughed, but Jamie fumed on the ground before them all. A boot stepped between them then, a boot attached to Cort. "Alright maggot. You've proven your point and had your fun. Get home with you, and don't think that this excuses your little outburst today." He held out his hand and Rebecca reluctantly handed the big gun over. She wouldn't easily forget the way it had felt in her hands though.

"Thankee-sai Cort," Rebecca mumbled as she stood up. A quick glance around the room showed many gazes of disbelief, especially among the Councilmen present who knew her secret. A short, self-conscious nod to them all and she was making her way out the door.

Not two buildings down someone grabbed her elbow and pulled her into the shadows. Rebecca tried to jump away, but the grip was too strong and she was still shaken by what had just happened in the tavern. She staggered into the broad chest of sai Veriss.

"Let go of me!" she said in a rising panic and pushed with her left arm, but he had too good a hold. Trying instead to pull herself away she backed herself into a wall and found herself trapped in the embrace of the councilman. Jaw trembling, she whispered, "stay away from me, sai. You have no business with me until I test."

Veriss smiled and leaned in towards her, "you've already lost." Rebecca's jaw locked tight in defiance. "I've been watching you," he cooed as he brought a hand up to brush her hair out of her face and she cringed away. "You flinch at a simple touch, how do you expect to fight me and win?"

"I will fight you and win, sai," she said, voice and body shaking with rage and fear, "and if I can I will kill you."

Veriss smiled, "I will enjoy your test very much." His hand moved up her side and rested just above the wrapping on her chest. "It's a shame you parade around as a boy," he whispered huskily. Rebecca stood still, eyes shut tight against his face and traveling hands. As two tears fell down her cheek he leaned in close and whispered in her ear, the whiskey on his breath making her want to retch, "I win." Then he let her go and walked calmly back to the tavern.

Rebecca stood stock-still and waited until he had been out of sight for a good few minutes before sinking into a crouch on the ground and crying into her arms.

xxxxx

Rebecca eventually made her way back through the streets of the white city and into the castle. She stopped before a familiar hardwood door and knocked. Soft light spilled out into the hallway as the door opened and sai Morgan, senior, stood in the doorway. "Sai Baine," he said, a little surprised at the sight of such a disheveled Robert.

"Is Lane awake?" Rebecca said with as smooth a voice as possible.

Sai Morgan nodded and closed the door slightly as he motioned his son over. As Lane opened the door his face went from slightly annoyed to concerned. "Re…Robert? Are you ok?"

Rebecca shook her head without a word and Lane looked inside before shutting the door behind him. "What happened to you?" he whispered and grabbed her elbow to lead her away from his door. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together at the touch, but followed him all the same.

When they reached a row of empty rooms he stopped in the shadows and turned to her again. "What happened? Who did this to you?"

Rebecca took a deep breath before opening her eyes and starting. "Sai Veriss," she flinched even as she spoke the name and couldn't find the voice to continue.

"What did he do? Kick you out? I thought you said he was allowing you to test?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes again, whispering "at a price, Lane. Only at a very high price."

Lane stepped back for a moment to consider and crossed his arms. "What was the price?" he said calmly, but seriously. She opened her eyes and mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it and paused. "What was the price, Rebecca?" Lane emphasized the words as his fingers tightened around his arms.

"Me," she whispered so softly he could barely hear her. She continued quickly, "but I didn't know until the deal was made what he wanted in return."

Lane took a few deep breaths, teeth clenched. "When?"

Rebecca looked down the hall into the darkness; she couldn't bring herself to look at Lane. "About an hour after you left on Midsummer."

There was a sting across her left cheek and she looked up at Lane in surprise.

"Whore," he spat as his upraised hand shook. "You fucking gilly-whore."

"Lane!" she reprimanded and rubbed at her cheek.

"And what do you expect from me now, you little whore!" Rebecca had never seen him so mad in his life. Actually, she had never seen him mad ever in his life. "What do you want from me for the use of your body!"

"Lane Morgan, I am not a whore!" she whispered back, hurt by his suggestion. "I was raped."

"The fuck you were Rebecca!" Lane laughed at her, "you could have easily fought off a drunk, fat, past-his-prime 'slinger if you wanted to."

"I didn't want that, Lane!" she cried back at him, "I just wanted the same fucking chance as you to test for my guns!"

"I didn't have sex for it!"

"You didn't have to!"

She had screamed louder than she had wanted and they listened to her voice echo down the hall. When no one came out to investigate they each tried to calm down.

"Man Jesus, Becka." Lane rubbed his face with his hand as he tried to think of something to say to her.

"I'm sorry, Lane," she whispered, "I didn't want to tell you but I cannot live like this. I can't keep shying away from everyone's touch because I'm afraid of how they might touch me. I'm afraid a tap on the shoulder might lead to being pushed down on the bed again; that someone accidentally brushing past me will result in their hands wandering over my body while I'm powerless to stop them." She finally looked him in the eye, "have you ever felt powerless Lane? Have you ever felt like someone's prisoner? You haven't, and you never will, because you were born the right sex."

"That's not the point," he tried weakly.

"That is the point, Lane. I did what I had to do to get my guns. But if I can't stop that night from repeating in my head it will have all been for nothing.

"I can win, sai. I can win and get my guns. I fought DeCurry tonight and won! I had one of his own guns pointed at his head." She grabbed his wrist in her insistence, "I can do this Lane, but not by myself."

He pulled his hand away from her and shook his head, "I don't know, Rebecca."

Rebecca turned and punched the door behind her with a fist. "I didn't tell you because I wanted to Lane. I would have very happily kept it a secret." She turned back around and looked him in the eyes, "I have nothing more to say."

She stood, feeling exposed as he studied her. "I have nothing more to say either," Lane said in a weak, tired voice. "I will see you tomorrow in class."

"Lane…"

He shook his head to shut her up. "I need a night to think. I will see you in class." He left her standing in the dark hallway to think as well.