Author's Note: For all of you who have read some of my other fanfictions and are wondering why this story is so different from all of the other ones I have written in the past, this is why:

This fic was written in conjunction with elven-jewel-18 when the two of us were talking about possibilities for the Dursleys' reactions if Harry and his friends came to Privet Drive for the summer in her fanfiction (I can't remember the name of it, but it's the one with the main character named Rhiannon/Reginna/Chrissy (if you've read it you understand, and if you haven't read it then you really need to)) and we were emailing each other back and forth when we just started randomly writing in actions instead of whole emails. It turned out to be very entertainingly hilarious, so we decided to share it with everyone on this website!

And so now, without further ado, NCCjellybean and elven-jewel-18 proudly present:

The Real Ending to the Harry Potter Books

-Harry, Ron, Hermione return from Hogwarts after their seventh year-

-The three friends go to the Dursleys for the beginning of summer-

-Dursleys hastily buying a boat to go to the random little shack on the sea from Book 1-

-Hermione conjures one out of thin air-

-Harry floos Hagrid to let him know where the Dursleys will be and suggests a little reminder-

-Hagrid gives Dudley another pig tail-

-Vernon turns out to be under the control of Voldemort through the use of the Imperius Curse and tells Voldemort where Harry is-

-Voldemort tries to kill Harry, but has the curse rebound on him, AGAIN-

-Peter makes fun of Voldemort-

-Voldemort Avadas Peter-

-curse rebounds AGAIN, this time killing Voldemort-

-Peter is left with a heart-shaped scar on his forehead and is proclaimed the new wizarding hero-

-Lucius kills Peter out of jealousy-

-curse rebounds-

-Lucius killed-

-Narcissa and Draco physically strangle Pettigrew-

-meanwhile, Vernon is freed of the Imperius Curse with the death of Voldemort and hides under Dudley's baby blankie with Petunia's teddy bear-

-secret relationship between Dudley and Peter is revealed-

-Dudley saves Peter at the last minute and kills Narcissa and Draco with the PlayStation he chucked out the window in Book 4-

-Harry's hero complex kicks in and he saves Dudley and Peter from Rita Skeeter-

-Hermione snogs Ron-

-Rita Skeeter gets jealous of Hermione and Avadas her; Hermione dead-

-Ron snogs Rita-

-Ron/Hermione Shippers riot through the streets of London-

-JK Rowling killed by Ron/Hermione Shippers-

-Ron/Rita Shippers resurrect Rowling in exchange for more books in the series-

-Mrs. Black painting finds out about Draco's secret relationship with a Muggle and crawls out of the painting with the help of Kreacher-

-Mrs. Black Avadas all Muggles and Muggleborns-

-everyone dies but her and Kreacher, who rein supreme-

The End