Death's Gamble
Author: Chaos Valkyrie
First Conceptualized: January 16, 2006
Posted One Shot: February 17, 2006
Posted Revisions: April 15, 2008

Disclaimer: If I owned FFX… I'm not even going to tell you what I'd do. Let me just say it involves Auron and would probably make your nose hemorrhage. And I don't know where the idea for the "Gatekeeper" to the Farplane comes from… I've seen him in several stories, so since I haven't played X-2 yet, I don't know if I just borrowed him from someone else or if he's a game fixture. Sorry.

Author's Note: Shameless shameless Aurikku smut with some vague but pleasant citrus scent. You've been warned.

"Bye Yunie, Tidus! Have fun makin' babies!" I call out cheerfully, ignoring-on-purpose the other passengers' strange looks. Yuna gasps, her face turning red.

"Rikku!" she scolds me, as a tomato-red Tidus nervously pushes a hand through his hair. I shrug unabashed.

"It's your honeymoon, Yunie! I fully expect you to be pregnant when you return!" I tell my cousin cheerfully. Tidus breaks down coughing as Yuna giggles.

"Rikku, hush. Just make sure you don't blow up our house or anything before we get back," Yuna tells me, a happy twinkle in her eye. The recently reunited and married pair happily wave at me as they walk on board the waiting S. S. Liki. I wave at them until the ship sails out of the harbor, setting out for Kilika. They'll travel all the way to Luca, and stay there for a few weeks until they're too worn out to make anymore babies, and then they'll come home.

Where I'll be waiting to give Yuna the grilling of a lifetime as I ask for every detail of their trip. Well, not every detail… there are just some things I'm not ready to learn about Tidus, after all.

I wave to some of the villagers as I wander through Besaid, over to Yuna's house near the Temple. It's a nice little cottage, open and cheerful. She and Tidus have been working to expand it for more than two people, obviously planning ahead for all their babies. I wander through the front door, locking it more out of habit than actual need. The only people daring enough to walk right in here are… well, me of course, and Wakka and Lulu and Vidina when they're around. But they're already in Luca, Wakka playing an exhibition match with the Aurochs. They'll be back tomorrow, weather permitting.

And I'm bored. Bored bored bored. And a little sad. And angry with myself for being sad. I stomp to get a drink of water and walk to the guest bedroom at the back of the house, throwing myself on the mattress and sipping away.

I'm happy that Tidus is back. He was my best friend, my partner in crime, and having him back is like having another goofy brother in my life. I was surprised at how much I had really missed him. And I'm happy that Yunie is happy, that they've been reunited against all odds, and that for once in my cousin's life, something was truly working out right…

But seeing Tidus back made me sad too. Sad because of the other person we lost at the same time… Someone else in our merry little band of misfits who would never return, because he had been dead even while he was still with us.

And oh, how I missed him. Sir Auron. Captain Meanie himself.

I missed his glares, his angry snarls, how he'd slap my hands away when I'd tried to nick something out of his pockets. I swear he had an extra eye in the back of his head. How he'd laugh that deep throaty chuckle when he was amused… okay, so maybe I'd only heard that once or twice, it was that rare, but still!

I missed him saving my life over and again. I missed knowing that he was there to watch out for us, to protect us, to lead us and guide us. I missed him…

Like Tidus, I hadn't realized how much he'd meant to me until they were both gone. I had just taken them for granted, that'd they'd always be there. Well, maybe not Tidus, he had a knack for almost getting his head bitten off by fiends, but Auron was like a rock; dependable, safe, and always there. Whether you liked it or not.

I had loved him. Really loved him. I just hadn't realized it at the time, thought it was nothing more than a Rikku-crush, until it was too late and he was looking back at us during that last Sending, pyreflies floating away lazily and his eyes so tired… And I couldn't do anything. To stop it or to tell him how I felt. Because I knew I couldn't stop it, that he'd probably just laugh at me, or pat me condescendingly on the head, and because this was what he wanted. To rest. After ten long years of struggling to resist the Farplane's call, and I couldn't deny him that…

But now I can't rest. The sun is setting outside my window, slowly dipping towards the horizon. I don't feel like eating; I'm too depressed now, dredging up memories of the past. I usually keep it at bay by working non-stop with the Celsius, sphere hunting and generally annoying Pnudran and Paine and the others…

But now I'm completely overflowing with aching tension and wondering just how I'm ever going to relax enough to sleep. Releasing… tension…

An idea occurs to me, and I blush violently. All that teasing about making babies must have gotten my mind deeply in the gutter, because I can think of one thing I can do to release my tension…

My hands drift over my bikini top and smooth out over my flat stomach. I feel so corrupt, in Yunie's guest room, doing this to myself… I let my hands drift a little lower, achingly lower. I pause again, uncertain, but the need for the release from all this tension is killing me. If only for a moment, maybe I could just pretend that he hadn't left us, left me… it'll probably make me feel worse in the long run, but for just a few moments I could pretend that he was still here…

Decided, my hands continued their southward journey, and my back arches as they hit home.

"Oh, Auron…" I groan unwillingly, a small sad grin marking my lips. Who'd ever know anyway?

Unfortunately for Rikku, someone did notice her late-afternoon activities.

Jecht chuckled to himself, his eyes dancing as he watched the Farplane monitors. You see, even on the Farplane, the dead still had a wish to at least watch the living, if not be the living, and these special viewing portals made this possible.

"See, I told you," Jecht grinned. "She's got the hots for the old stiff." He tossed back another shot of whiskey and laughed.

The Gatekeeper grumbled to himself. "Well, you won, fair and square. What do you want this time?" he asked, resigned. You would have thought that by now he'd've learned not to bet against Jecht when they were drinking together, but no…

"Well, last time we sent Tidus back, as a reward for little Yuna," Jecht began, amused. The Gatekeeper grimaced, still annoyed over losing that particular bet. He had thought for sure that Yuna at least was not that kind of girl… "How about we reward this one too? After all, she's helped Yuna save Spira twice now," Jecht suggested.

"I'm not sending him back," the Gatekeeper muttered.

"I won fair and square," Jecht reminded him, taking another shot of his whiskey. Man, everything tasted better in the afterlife. Food, liquor, Victory… Just then, a banging was heard on the door, and Jecht grinned. The Gatekeeper swore as he noticed who was outside.

"Right on time," Jecht waved Auron inside the Gatepost. Auron shook his head at the drunken pair, sighing.

"What have you done this time?" Auron sighed, looking at the Gatekeeper's drawn face. "Another bet…?" he trailed off as his hearing caught the impatient tapping of Jecht's foot against the one of the viewing panels. His one eye widened as he saw what they were watching. Thoroughly distracted, his head tilted several different ways, causing Jecht to almost snort his liquor. Auron's glasses slid down and rested precariously on the tip of his nose as his one eye widened impossibly further...

"Is that… Rikku?" Auron gulped. Jecht smiled so evilly, Auron knew he was in trouble.

"Yup. And guess who she's thinkin' about?" Jecht asked teasingly.

"Clasko?" Auron stated extremely dead pan, refusing to rise to the bait. Jecht blanched.

"That is what is so fucking warped about you, man. She's thinking about you!" the blitzer snarled, taking another shot. "She's wanted you since she set her pretty little swirly eyes on you!" he roared, waving at the monitor and Rikku's 'activities'.

"Somehow I doubt that," Auron stated briskly, but Jecht smiled as Auron's eye never left the monitor.

"You like her and you know it! Don't think I didn't notice you making eyes at her during the pilgrimage when you were supposed to be thinking of ways to kill me!" Jecht told him mockingly. Auron snorted.

"Oh please… 'making eyes'? And who says I haven't stopped thinking of ways to kill you?" Auron told him. Jecht snorted, ignoring the not-so-subtle threat.

"Okay, making 'eye', singular, at her. Whatever. What about that time you slapped her on the butt…"

"That was payback!" Auron objected.

"But don't tell me you didn't enjoy it," Jecht sneered.

Silence.

Jecht grinned. "Or when you comforted her after Bikanel was wasted…"

"I had no choice about that, she tackled me before I could escape," Auron defended, an angry tick forming in his forehead.

"Or," Jecht grinned evilly, "that time when she climbed out of the Via Purifico and I know you noticed how the water made her clothes cling to her body and you could obviously tell how the water was cold and you were happy you were wearing a trench coat…"

"Enough! We. Get. The. Picture!" Auron roared, thoroughly embarrassed. The Gatekeeper nodded.

"Yes, please. I don't need to know about every hard-on he had in life," he said, ignoring Auron's glare. "How did you know about all that anyway?"

"We had monitors inside Sin too, you know," Jecht answered smugly, tossing back yet another shot.

"You did?" the Gatekeeper asked while Auron fumed.

"Well, they weren't as nice as these – not nearly as many channels – but they were decent enough," Jecht shrugged. He looked over at Auron, who was about to stomp out of the Gatekeeper's office. "Anyway, Sir Really-Big-Sword-Up-His-Butt, we were thinking about sending you back as a reward for little Rikku," he called out. Auron froze in the doorway, glaring at Jecht over his shoulder.

"No. I've lived my life. I don't need to go back," he said with some finality. Jecht grinned.

"Oh really? And what's so great about the afterlife, oh brooding one?" he asked. Auron paused and thought about it. Hard.

"Well, there's blitzball…" he began doubtfully.

"Which you hate," Jecht added helpfully.

"Drinking without hangovers…"

"Which you hardly do anymore…" the Gatekeeper added.

"My sword stays nicely polished…"

"Because Braska made you stop sharpening it because you nearly wore it out!" Jecht exclaimed cheerfully.

"And… um…" Auron was running out of ideas.

"And copious amounts of sex!" the Gatekeeper piped up enthusiastically. Auron coughed violently.

"Which you don't even participate in, you great big prude. And that's a shame, because if anyone needed to get laid, it'd be you," Jecht declared. Auron growled at him.

"I object! I've…"

"Please. Don't even claim you're not the oldest virgin in the afterlife. Even Yu's gotten lucky more times than you," Jecht told him scornfully. Auron's face turned almost as red as his coat, whether out of anger or embarrassment Jecht would never know as he watched the man grumble incoherently, his hand clenching and unclenching on his sword.

"I resent that…" a whiny voice interrupted as a weedy man entered the doorway behind Auron. Auron glared at the man disdainfully before shuffling away from him.

"I'm not drinking with you, Yu. Go crawl back under your rock," Jecht said, rolling his eyes.

"But no one else will drink with me either!" Yu Yevon complained.

"That's because you killed most of the people here!" Jecht exclaimed.

"So did you!"

"Nu-uh, I was under duress… I was not responsible for my actions. And if you want to argue, go talk to my high-priced Farplane attorney," Jecht retorted. Auron was confused.

"I thought all lawyers automatically turned into fiends…" he started before Jecht cut him off.

"This one talked his way in. Which is why I hired him. But that's beside the point. Out fiend!" he waved at Yu, who mumbled to himself and wandered off. "Now, as we were saying…"

"No. Just… no," Auron stated, determinedly ignoring the monitors where Rikku was just starting to turn up the heat.

"There's nothing keeping you here, man!" Jecht yelled, annoyed. Auron shook his head, turning towards the doorway and promptly knocking over the person standing there.

"My lord," Auron exclaimed, helping Braska to his feet. Braska grinned at him.

"You know you can just call me Braska," he told Auron, grinning. His eyes flickered to the screen, and took on a mischievous light. "Is that my niece?" he asked, smiling. Auron groaned as Jecht smiled.

"Yup," he replied cheerfully, turning up the volume so that they could all clearly hear Rikku calling Auron's name. Auron in turn hid his face more fully behind his collar.

Braska grinned. "It's the Al Bhed blood," he told them confidentially before turning to Auron. "So, what are you waiting for?" he asked Auron, who gaped at him wordlessly.

"My lo–," he caught himself as Braska shook his head humorously. "Braska? Not you as well," he asked forlornly.

"Why not? She rather obviously misses you," he replied, waving towards the screen, "and you confessed to me yourself that you had had feelings for her…"

"HAH!! I told you!" Jecht screamed, pointing at the Gatekeeper, who was also shaking his head.

"Damn," was all he could reply. Braska shook his head, smiling at the pair of them before turning back to Auron.

"Go to her. She needs you, and you know you need her," he said simply. Auron sighed, defeated.

"All right," he trailed off, turning towards the Gatekeeper and Jecht. "What do I do?"

"Just go through that doorway, and you'll be where you need to be," the Gatekeeper recited, annoyed. Auron grasped Braska's hand in farewell, and smacked Jecht in the head in passing. Jecht waved at him cheerfully until the Doorway had shut behind him.

"Bet they're going at it like chocobos in heat within the next ten minutes," he told the Gatekeeper while Braska shook his head in the background.

"You're on," the Gatekeeper agreed, flipping channels.

A loud incessant pounding interrupts me before I'm, um, finished. Grumbling, I put my clothes back on and storm through Yunie's house, my hair tangled but I don't care 'cause I'm going to take a grenade and shove it up where the sun doesn't shine on this big meanie and that'll release some tension I'm sure.

The jerk is banging on the front door like the world's gonna end and I fling it open, ready to bitch the asshole out royally…

And I see who it is and blink. And blink. My mouth is flapping wordlessly, and all I can do is blink at him, that small smirk playing on his lips in that oh-so-familiar way.

"I believe the polite thing to do is to invite a visitor inside," he drawls after a few moments, and I flush, wordlessly waving him inside. He walks past me, that same stiff stance he had back when… well, he wasn't alive, but you get the point.

"How… are you…?" I ask, poking him in the shoulder. He grunts a little, since I did poke him pretty hard, but he's still smirking at me in that annoyingly superior fashion. And sadly enough, that's what reassures me that this is him, because some things never change.

I tackle him then, and he's hard put to keep us both upright. I push my ear to his chest and squeal as I hear his heartbeat. I pull him in a bear hug and he grunts again as I pull my arms as tight as I can. His arms hesitantly hold me close to him, and I sigh happily.

"You're alive! But how…" I trail off, smiling into his coat. He coughs nervously, and I look up at him, wide eyed.

"Well… Jecht was watching you from the Farplane…" he trails off as my eyes widen in horror.

"You mean, he was watching me as I…" I feel my cheeks burn. He nodded, his eye not quite meeting mine. I grin in spite of my embarrassment.

"Were you watching me from the Farplane too, Auron?" I ask sweetly, and he coughs.

"No, not at all…" Auron trails off, his eye most definitely not meeting mine now. I grin.

"So why did they send you back then?" I ask him. My hand reaches up and cups his cheek, forcing him to meet my gaze. "Did they hear me calling your name…" I trail off, my voice lowering to a purr as my finger traces his scarline, "Auron."

He gulps violently, his body stiffening as I try to mesmerize him with my eyes. I cheer inwardly as it works, his arms tightening about me, and let's just say I can tell that he's just as happy to see me as I am to see him. I pull away and he looks almost… disappointed?

"C'mon, the bedroom's back this way," I tell him, taking his hand and pulling him along behind me. I can see him grin behind that collar of his, and I'm determined that that'll be the first item of clothing to go…

"Anyone home, ya?" Wakka asked, peering cautiously through the doorway. He had only been back in Besaid for a few minutes when some of the other villagers had come up to him, expressing their concern about the strange noises that had been coming from Yuna's cottage all night… and well into the daylight hours as well. Since he knew Rikku was there taking care of things, he was naturally worried for the girl. She was like a little sister to him after all…

He heard no response, save some strange noises coming from the region of the guest room. Being a married man, he knew what those noises meant, and anger swelled within him as he stormed down the hallway. If someone was hurting Rikku, why he'd kill them with no regrets…

He flung the bedroom door open, and his mouth fell open at the sight that greeted him.

"Sir… Auron?" he gasped, his head tilting as he took in the compromising positions and states of undress. Any doubts he had as to the man's identity were quickly answered when Masamune lodged itself firmly in the wall next to him, and Rikku giggled from… well, wherever she was underneath Auron.

"Shut the door, and get out," Auron snarled over his shoulder, and Wakka hastened to do just that.

"That's Yunie's wall you just killed," I scold him, my face flushed as I giggle up at the man I love. He grunts, looking back down at me.

"So I'll build her another one," he tells me, a smirk tracing his lips as he leans down and kisses me.

"Now, where were we?" he asks against my lips, and I giggle again as my arms circle his neck and I kiss him more fully.

End Notes: I meant to put this out for V-Day, but it had some spoilers for the current PwF chapter, so I waited to do them together. And sorry that there are only implied lemons… ffnet regulations, you know. This was actually meant to be more funny than citrusy, but if I get enough requests from people to fill the missing portion, I'll do so and post it elsewhere… Just let me know!