What I've lost
By: LateSleeper
Disclaimer: arghh! Why do I have to do this again? Can't I just take them as mine? Fine! Shu-chan's not mine…I'm still waiting for him to be auction in the black market.
"Mou…Tohma…"
"No more pocky Shuichi no hime."
"Mou…Tohma-chan…Tohma-chan…"
I felt myself rolling my eyeball in disgust as the two stupid imbecile tainting the atmosphere with their sappiness. I almost groan in frustration but I reprimanded myself…I wouldn't want them to think that me Yuki Eiri is jealous. I'm not…really I'm not. I'm just caught in between. I'm just unlucky to be at the scene.
"Tohma! Stop that tickles!"
Why am I here again?
Ah yes. I was delivering a message from Mika to her ex-husband.
Her ex-husband who's now currently the lover of my ex-boyfriend. Life is so twisted sometimes.
I heard a giggling sound from my ex-lover. I wanted to puke because of the sappiness. I want to bash both of them and order them to stop…stop polluting the air of the crazy-love-talk they couldn't get enough of. Stop the nonsense kisses that are directed to each other. I just want to stop this madness.
So why am I still here?
Simple, because I'm delivering a message from Mika to Tohma…I already said that right? Well it's true actually…I'm really am delivering a message…actually messages if you count my yesterday's visit and the other day…and the other day before that…and the day before that.
Come to think of I'm always here each and every single day in their…what they call "love nest". I practically became Mika's personal messenger to deliver the 'memo' about their annulment.
It seems that I was the only one that Mika could trust on handling the messages to her ex-husband. The only Uesugi that has connection to Tohma after the break-up.
So what it is for me? Simple, it's pay back time.
Pay back time for all the time they are bothering me. Now it's my chance to disturb them. It's only fair, right? They bother me, I bother them.
Come to think of it this whole 'putting your nose in somebody's business' is the main culprit this two got together.
After a week Mika announced her annulment with Tohma, the said bastard was practically at my apartment twenty-four-seven constantly bothering me to eat or sleep. It's like having a freaking gay mother scold you about skipping lunch…and some bunny ears are also added to make the whole scene horrifying. Really! Tohma with bunny ears are down right revolting.
Shuichi wasn't much help either. He's as nosy as Tohma is. Constantly whining about what should I eat or that I should never smoke, whining with that high pitch voice of him that I swear I really need to check my eardrums if they are still there intact. For that I always kick him out of the house.
Tohma is much a worst pest than the brat. It's like he has every damn key in my apartment that whenever I kick him out minutes later I would see his ass-smiling-face back in my kitchen. Such a leech I tell you!
I heard Shuichi moan softly. I rolled my eyes at them and try to sip the now cold coffee I've been drinking for the pass two hours.
Okay back to our topic before I loose my composure and bash these two and be labeled as a murderer
Ah yes, Tohma. Tohma was…hard to admit was vulnerable at that time. Vulnerability and Seguchi Tohma is a one time thing phenomenon but all the same it did happen and I'm stuck with its result.
Vulnerable that's what he was after the I-mess-my-marriage-life episode. He would be defenseless to any form of love thrown to him and that's when my, oh so loving pink bundle of joy came in to picture.
Shuichi is a kind of guy that would worm his way into your system. Resistance is futile. The thing is, he doesn't even have the damn clue that he had such power. A power that even the 'oh so powerful Seguchi' couldn't fight.
I'm not saying that my Shuichi made the move…he's too innocent to cheat on me.
But I couldn't say the same thing for Seguchi Tohma…the man is as sly as a fox and Shuichi is as naïve as a sheep. I know how manipulative Tohma could be if he wants to. So I could never blame Shuichi for what had happened…I could never blame him.
Come to think of it I should be blaming myself…partially.
To some extent I think I acted like a bridge to the two of them…DAMN!
I often locked the door of my study room and leave those two idiots by themselves inside my apartment. What they do is beyond me…
After a month I opened my door just to transport to another dimension where Shuichi and Tohma, the same people who sworn to be enemies are chatting like normal people without blood spilling on my floor.
I think they became best of friends with a main goal: TO MAKE MY LIFE LIVING HELL. I can't believe they would tug team to annoy me about my lifestyle and health.
And here the roller coaster turns on its loop.
I was really on one of my don't-fuck-with-me day that Shuichi decided to annoy the hell out of me. Of course this pisses me off so naturally I kicked him out like I use to and the brat wailed at me for forgiveness. Then here comes Tohma I thought he's gonna congratulate me for finally drawing a line between me and the brat. I know he has some plans deep beneath his smile to separate me and Shuichi so I know this was his chance.
And then he mouthed the words that I never have thought he could utter even in the after life…
"You shouldn't treat Shuichi-kun like that Eiri."
I was beyond sanity when I heard words slip his lips. Something in me burn and then clench. I was in total confusion why the hell is he protecting the kid he once hated so much.
"That's not your damn business."
"Eiri, if you don't change your attitude he might leave you."
"Then he should leave if he wants to…he can't fuck whoever he wants."
"Don't you care about him?"
"Why would I? If you care too much for him why don't you fuck him yourself?"
When those words left me I felt shivers run down my body for within split seconds I saw a smile form from Seguchi's face but then instantly was replaced with a forlorn expression.
Come to think about it I might have the one who instigated this whole thing.
And after that getting back with Shuichi was far within my reach…one, there was my pride…two, there was his work which was miraculously been hindering him from seeing me or even dropping me a call…and there was Seguchi whose eyes never left me for a second.
I didn't really wanted our little fight to extend up to two days…I was actually ready to pick the brat from work after I submitted my story to my editor, but I have said his work 'inexplicably' hindered our sweet reunion. It turn out that the brat had to go on tour for two days which by the way he hadn't told me about. Then two days had passed…then a week before I know it's been a month since I last saw him inside the apartment lying on my bed naked. Yes, a month without Shuichi inside my apartment…a month without sex
I know what you are thinking, didn't I try to talk to at least…of course I tried but it always end up us arguing…
Okay, fine! I get my head blow off. I actually couldn't understand myself why I end up getting irritated whenever he would go on ranting on the phone how his day had been, which he always end up getting Seguchi into the picture.
I know he had once idolized the man but…he also once hated him for all its worth, right? So why the sudden change of heart…and why am I getting sensitive about it?
So as I have said, a month had pass and me and Shuichi hadn't patch up. The media had also pitch in and proclaimed to the world that 'Yuki Eiri is single again'. It sounded so final that the world believe it and accepted it… even without my approval. Yes, Japan has decided that I and Shuichi are through.
Maybe you were wondering where is the brat staying after I kicked him out. Actually Seguchi had benevolently offered him a home…near his own.
I wouldn't have to tell you what happens next…it's the same old story…the lover was hurt find another comfort in another man's arm blah blah blah…
Then one day he called me up wanting to meet…I knew where it was going so I told him straight. I told him that if he likes Seguchi then he could go fuck him if he likes. I don't like beating around the bush…and I don't like getting dump.
I heard him gave a loud sigh, and then I heard a sob. We were quiet for a moment; I was actually hoping he would correct me from my previous accusation. A flicker of hope had me going, that maybe there was hope between us but it died down as he gently asked me that if we could still be friends.
"Tohma…stop…Yuki…he might hear us."
"He won't mind."
"but…but…oh that tickles!"
Yeah, I won't mind…I won't mind at all…my mind doesn't give a damn but my heart hurts though.
"Eiri."
I look at him over the newspaper I'm reading. I'm sitting here again on the same chair I had been yesterday and the day before that. Shuichi was no where in sight probably shopping or something so it's just me and Tohma here at their love nest.
"Eiri, I'm planning on taking Shuichi somewhere abroad."
"Does Mika knows about it."
"Yeah. I already told her lawyer about it."
"And your telling me this, why?"
Tohma lean back at his chair and smiled at me. "So that you'll know that no one would be here when you come to visit."
Asshole. "Tell that to Mika…she's been bugging me to run errands for her. Honestly do I look a fucking messenger?"
I tried focusing my attention again on my paper. Although I wanted to ask him where they are going I tried not to. I'll just ask Mika when I get home.
Shuichi has been taking a lot of time shopping…I wonder what would they be cooking for dinner?
"Eiri."
"…"
"He still loves you, you know. That's why I'm afraid that he'd change his mind and come back to you. I'm taking him somewhere to forget you…"
And he's telling me this, why!
What the hell is he up to!
"I'm home. Oh Yuki you're still here, that's great want to stay for dinner?"
"Oi! Are you going to sit there all day drinking coffee?"
"What is it this time Aneki? Just write it on a paper and I'll take it to Seguchi."
"Eiri."
You know I don't like my name…especially when they say it with pity and hurt. "what?"
"Didn't you know?"
Shit! I felt something cold run down on me. Please if there is really a god let it not be it. Please!
"Didn't know what?"
"Eiri…"
"He just told me yesterday…they couldn't have left today."
Mika smiled at me gently and my whole world crashes. I still wonder how sly and manipulative Seguchi could be. I wonder what's running on his mind as he was saying those things yesterday.
Damn you Seguchi and your mind games.
"I'm sorry Eiri…I really thought that you and Shuichi could…I was really…"
If this was a game…because I know it is…I've been check mate.
Owari
LateSleeper: yah…I know…I'm stupid…tell me something new. Depression can make do such a stupid fic...sorry