Author's Note: Hi everyone! Very sorry about not updating... I've had homework like you wouldn't believe... So... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Monty Python and the Holy Grail or the Phantom of the Opera. Even though I wish I did...


Last time on 10 Good Tips on Surviving a Horror Story...

Mario: You think they might be in the basement?

Tip #7: NEVER go into the basement if you value your life.

Luigi: (nervous laugh) Um, no! Why would they be? Why don't we go check the... umm... kitchen-

Mario grabs him by the shirt and painfully drags him down the stairs to the basement. They find a big, pitch black room.

Luigi: Wait... weren't there stairs here before?

Mario: You're sure they were right here?

Luigi: Uh huh... and now they're gone!

There is a heavy silence as they wonder what happened to the stairs... and when the silence is broken by maniacal laughter from behind them, they realize that they will be lucky to leave the basement alive...

Peach and Daisy start on their way to the dining room when they hear an odd clicking sound...

Peach: What was tha-

They both scream as they fall through a trap door into an underground lake!

After swimming for a while, they find Bowser Jr. sitting on the bank!

Bowser Jr.: Sure took you long enough to find me! What have you been doing? Besides breaking the fourth wall...

Peach: Well, what happened to you once you disappeared?

Bowser Jr.: Well... it's a long story...


Bowser Jr.: So this is the long story of what happened. Yep. This is it. Ummmmmm...

Staple Sauce: Say "roll flashback!".

Bowser Jr.: Oh, right! Roll flashback!


Bowser Jr. yawns and leans against a wall.

Bowser Jr.: You know, I still think this is a bad idea. I don't know about you, but I'm heading back to maybe take a nap or-

Suddenly, there is a loud creaking noise. The wall turns around, taking Bowser Jr. with it!

Bowser Jr.: Whoa! What the crap!

Bowser Jr. finds himself standing behind a shrubbery.

Bowser Jr.: Ummmmm... shrubbery?

Staple Sauce: You'll get it in a minute.

Anyways, Bowser Jr. is hiding behind a shrubbery and sees a bridge going across a large canyon. In front of the bridge are an old man, two medieval knights, and Wario! What the crap is he doing here?

Bowser Jr.: That was my line!

Staple Sauce: Sorry.

Old Man: (to Knight #1) What... is your name?

Knight #1: Sir Toadalot.

Old Man: What... is your quest?

Knight #1: I seek the Holy Grail!

Old Man: What... is your favorite color?

Knight #1: ...Blue.

Old Man: You may proceed.

Knight #1 goes across the bridge.

Old Man: (to Knight #2) What... is your name?

Knight #2: Sir Koopalot.

Old Man: What-

Knight #2: I know! I know! I seek the Holy Grail!

Old Man: What... is the capital of Assyria?

Knight #2: I don't know tha- AAAAAAAAAAH!

Suddenly, Knight #2 is thrown into the air and falls into the canyon!

Bowser Jr.: ...I still don't get it...

By now, Wario is rolling around on the ground laughing.

Bowser Jr.: Wario! Get over here!

Wario: Oh, fine.

Bowser Jr.: What the crap are you doing here?

Wario: I was teleported here by that skeleton...type...thing.

Bowser Jr.: Well, let's get back... I wonder where that wall is?

Bowser Jr. leans against a castle wall to think about this. It turns around and they are taken to a strange underground lake! End Flashback!


Peach: Where's Wario now?

They look around and see Wario being chased by a strange man wearing a black suit, a black cape, and a white mask covering half of his face.

Wario: (singing for some strange reason) He's here, the Phantom of the Opera!

Strange Man: Raoul! Get back here! What have you done with my Angel of Music!

Daisy: What the crap is he talking about? Who's Raoul?

Wario: Look, I'm not Raoul! My hair's not long enough!

Strange Man: ...Oh. You're right.


Mario: Oh snap. How are we going to get out of here?

Luigi: I know! Let's find a light switch!

Mario: No, that's stupid. Let's try this room.

They walk into the dark room. Suddenly, the lights come on, illuminating an old-fashioned phone. It starts ringing.

Mario: You look for a way out. I'll answer the phone.

Staple Sauce: Hey, wait! You guys just broke Tip #5!

Luigi: ...Huh?

Staple Sauce: (sighs) Never mind.


Tip #9: Nothing good will ever happen to you if you answer the phone.

Luigi walks away, looking for a way out. Mario answers the phone.

Mario: ...Hello?

Creepy Voice: (over the phone) ...You idiot! Don't you ever watch horror movies?

Mario: ...Huh?

Creepy Voice: ...Oh, never mind. Anyways, I've got some friends of yours with me right now. They'd like to say hello...

Yoshi: (over the phone) Oh my God! Help! We're being force-fed lima beans and mustard! Toadette and I can't hold on much longer!

Mario: Oh, Toadette is with you? Can I say hi?

Creepy Voice: Sure!

Toadette: Mario! We're in the basement! Come help us!

Mario: Hey, cool! We're in the basement too!

Toadette: ...What! Oh no! Get out now! He's coming for you!

All of a sudden, Mario is dragged into another room and tied to a chair.

Mario: What the crap?

He sees a floating spoon filled with lima beans and mustard.

Mario: Oh snap.


Will Mario, Yoshi, and Toadette survive the lima-beans-and-mustard torture? Are Peach, Daisy, Bowser. Jr., and Wario actually in the 5th cellar of the Paris opera house? Will Staple Sauce write a better chapter tommorrow (or so)? Find out in the next chapter which will wrap things up!

To be Continued...