Chocolate War

By: BlackLadyCharon

Author's Notes: This is meant to be humorous, a Valentine's Day bit of comedy relief. This is AU, and probably a little bit OOC, as I've never played Devil May Cry. I'm trying to rectify this, so please, be kind. This has slight Shonen-Ai, but not much, as the twins are only ten here. Little bit of angst at the end, too. Please flame me, I've never had a flame, so I feel deprived.

Disclaimer: Kalliope the MewThree: Authoress-Mama doesn't own Devil May Cry, Capcom does. All she owns is a weird mind and a passion for Vergil.

A slow, careful glance of silver blue eyes from behind ragged white bangs, done carefully, so that it seemed like it hadn't happened at all. The dragon was preoccupied with its newest acquisition, a first edition Blue Eyes (1). The warrior smirked, and slowly, delicately, extended his hand. The treasure was within his grasp. This day, victory was his.

WHABAC!

"Ow! Verge, that HURT!" Dante whined, rubbing his hand. Vergil scowled, lifting his weapon, a long handled wooden spoon, in a threatening manner. The scene had already repeated itself six times, and the Elder Son of Sparda was rapidly losing patience with the Younger. After a half minute stare down, Vergil seemingly returned his attention to his card, intent on memorizing the data written on it. He also started a mental count. At ten, he looked over, to catch Dante once again making a grab for the treasure. He growled, and this time smacked his stubborn twin right between the eyes, hard enough to knock him out of his chair with a satisfying whump.

"Mother said no, Dante. Can't you pay attention for once?" The two ten year olds were a study in contrasts. Vergil calm, Dante excitable. Vergil precise, Dante flailing about cheerfully. Even their clothing shouted their differences. Vergil was dressed in what most would consider Sunday best. White, long sleeved shirt, every button closed, neatly pressed black slacks, dress socks, and perfectly shined dress shoes. The only items out of place were the black fingerless fighting gloves on his hands. Vergil claimed he wore them because he couldn't stand normal gloves, but it was actually because he thought they looked cool. Not that he'd ever admit it. Dante, on the other hand, wore a black tank top that bore the words 'Fuck you!' in bright red fabric paint that Eva had unwisely allowed him to acquire. His jeans were red, with frayed black patches on the knees. Every single sock Dante'd ever owned had migrated under his bed, and long since turned green and fuzzy. His sneakers were three sizes too big, kept on only by the extra long laces tied around his ankles. Dante looked up at Vergil, blue eyes wide between the rapidly fading bruise Vergil had inflicted. Vergil steeled himself. Dante could, if Vergil didn't remind himself of Mother's promise to ground him until doomsday if he didn't keep Dante out of her hand made chocolate for a Valentine's Day party, melt Vergil's resolve like ice in a hot oven.

"Come on, Verge. How can you resist Mom's home made raspberry crème fudge? It's not like she'll notice two missing pieces." Vergil sighed in irritation, then stood up and drew the spoon back and swung it with as much force as he could muster right at the top of Dante's head. The spoon broke, Dante howled, stood up and slammed out the back door, and Vergil stood there, feeling irrationally guilty about his twin's over reacting. After all, they were half demons, they both had hard heads.

Dante didn't run far. In fact, he ran right next door. After holding down on the doorbell for a solid five minutes, a girl his and Vergil's age answered it, holding a large marmalade tabby against her white sundress. She had reddish brown hair and gray eyes, and an open, laughing expression behind the thick glasses that shielded her face. She raised an eyebrow and Dante slouched, trying to look casual.

"Hey, 'Cia (2). Hey Squidge (3). Can I hang for awhile?" Valencia Mallory sighed. The trials and tribulations of living next to a pair of identical twin half demons were… interesting to say the least.

"What are you and Verge fighting about now, 'Te?" Her voice was a flat, british accented monotone. She had hearing problems, and was completely unaware of how she really sounded. Neither Dante nor Vergil were suicidal enough to enlighten her. After all, she'd survived them for the past ten years.

"It's stupid. He won't let me take a piece of Mom's Valentine's Day fudge."

"Good for Verge. You'll get some soon enough." She gestured Dante into the living room. Dante plunked on the floor in defiance of the chairs, and muttered, "Verge hates me."

"Oh, please, are you really THAT dense?" At his questioning look, Valencia continued. "except for me, he's been terrorizing the other kid's away from anything but the most basic friendships with you for years. I won't even go into what he does to the girls who actually LIKE you to keep them away." She grinned at Dante's stupefied look.

"But… but…"

"He doesn't act like it? Of course not. He's like a cat, pretending he couldn't care but right in your lap when you're crying. He's almost irrationally possessive of you. You're his treasure, his prize, and no one else is allowed near." She smiled, amused. "Plus, Vergil is a person who has trouble admitting his feelings even to himself. Also, you two are only ten. He's scared of admitting his feelings for you are both far more mature and far less brotherly than he'd like." Dante flinched, not sure how to assimilate this info. Verge cared for him as more than a brother? More than a twin? Dante wished he'd kept his mouth shut. The world had made a lot more sense fifteen minutes ago. Still… what Valencia said made twisted sense, now that he examined Verge's actions and his own feelings. The hissed answers that saved his ass in school, the sudden and violent actions to new students who got near him. That, and his own instinctive reliance on Vergil's finesse to back up his own raw power.

"Holy shit." Valencia just stared and waited. "So, what do I do to say I'm sorry and I understand?"

Valencia smiled evilly. "You and Verge are the same size, right?"

About five minutes after Dante'd left, Valencia opened the door and let Vergil slink in. She went straight for the kill this time, cutting through the chase.

"You should tell 'Te how you feel, Verge. That, and loosen up and not be a stuffed shirt all the time. You know what they say about all work and no play." Vergil blink, a sign of high surprise for him.

"You really are a blunt little bitch, aren't you?"

"I try to be."

Eva had to wonder what the fuck was going on. She'd found her chocolate untouched and unguarded. Then Dante had burst in and hauled ass upstairs, ignoring the fudge like a devil with an angel on its tail. Ten minutes later Vergil repeated the process, looking unusually frazzled. He'd also been clutching a bottle of blue fabric paint. Eva had shrugged and prepared dinner, but now she wondered if leaving the twins alone for 45 minutes had been wise. After all, there'd been nothing but dead silence and a few thumps from them. She stood at the base of the stairs and hollered. "Boys! Supper!"

/I can't do this./ The same thought, two different boys. One locked in the bathroom, the other in their bedroom. /Verge'll/'Te'll kill me./

"Boys! Supper! NOW!" Both shivered. Mother was scarier than them both. After all, she'd married Father, knowing he was a demon. Then she'd had them, and raised them. Scarier by far.

"Yes Mom/Mother!" They yelled from their respective hiding places, then muttered in unison, "She who must be obeyed. (4)" They both exited the rooms, and stared at each other. Vergil spoke first, Dante second.

"Ah, fuck me."

"Fuck me sideways. (5)"

Eva, waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs, merely gaped and wondered what had brought this about. There was no way this was the product of anything but an outside force… of course, Valencia. The girl was practically Vergil and Dante's third sibling.

Dante's hair was combed, and his face freshly washed. Out of the clothes Eva'd bought him that he'd never worn he'd selected a crimson dress shirt, white slacks, dress socks, and he'd found and shined his church shoes that had been lost for the last month. Vergil had gotten into Eva's hair gel and spiked his hair up, then torn the sleeves out of a black t-shirt he'd been given for Christmas and painted the words 'Kiss my ass' on it with the fabric paint. He'd scrounged up a pair of unworn blue jeans from the back of his closet and slashed the knees out, and he was wearing the sneakers Eva had insisted he get when Dante got his. Both twins looked uncomfortable as hell, and kept glancing over at each other as if afraid the other would disappear. Eva sent them on to the table and did a quick dash upstairs and back down to start the meal.

After dinner, Vergil and Dante came up to their room to find Eva'd deposited a piece of wrapped fudge on each of their beds. Vergil whooped in delight, then clapped his hands to his mouth, horrified. Wearing clothes like Dante's was affecting his normally staid personality. Vergil was feeling reckless and energetic for once, and having a hard time dealing with it. Dante merely smirked quietly, going to his bed and slowly unwrapping his piece. Wearing the formal clothing Vergil preferred made Dante feel calm and seemed to point out how annoying it was to be wild 24/7. he slowly, carefully, and tauntingly ate his fudge in front of Vergil, licking his fingers like a cat. Vergil blushed, gulped, and shoved his piece in his mouth, feeling totally disconnected and out of place. After he'd swallowed, Dante allowed a small smile to grace his features.

"This has been fun, Verge, but let's get back to being our normal selves." Vergil nodded, then in a last spasm of unaccustomed freedom, latched onto Dante in a fierce hug.

"You're my heart. Love you, 'Te. Love you til the end of the worlds." Dante gently laid his cheek on Vergil's hair, allowing himself a last moment of mature dignity.

"I'll love you forever, Verge. Even if Hell itself should separate us, I'll never stop loving you." They parted then, awkwardly, halfway to their normal, accepted roles, but not quite there yet as they shed their clothes for PJs and crawled into their beds to sleep, comforted by the knowledge of how they felt for each other.

A week later, Valencia carefully stepped around Eva's body to lure Dante from his hiding place. She knelt and rocked him as he wept for his mother and twin, whispering the words Dante would later use to name his agency.

"Devil May Cry, 'Te. Devil May Cry. But after this, neither will ever cry again."

FIN

Vergil's ten, and it seemed to me he'd favor the Blue Eyes White Dragon from Yu-Gi-Oh.

Valencia Mallory is me at ten. Well, me at ten if I'd grown up next to Vergil and Dante. She views them as brothers, and they view her as a sister. This is why Vergil tolerates her near Dante.

Squidge is one of my pet cats. He is indeed a marmalade tabby.

An old Sci-Fi joke about an immortal woman named Aisha, also known as 'She who must be obeyed'.

Stolen from Blade Trinity. Loved the lines, thought they were appropriate for Verge and 'Te.

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