Title: Redemption
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sawyer/ Kate
Summary: No spoilers if you've seen Season 1
Warnings: None
Status of fic: WIP
Author's Notes: Hi! This is my first Lost fic... It focuses on Sawyer's issues with love and trust. I'm not really following what happened on the show. I'm just playing with the characters… Oh, and English is not my first language, so I apologize for the mistakes. Thanks for reading! Jenn

#Disclaimer#

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Redemption

Chapter 1

Sawyer's POV

She's not my type.

I'm more into thin, long-legged rich blondes like the one who's always fighting with her brother, what's her name again? Anyway. I normally salivate over any chick like that. I don't care about their personality or their sense of humour or any of that crap. I only care about their physical attributes, to put it politely.

I'm not looking for a relationship or anything like that. I'm a lone wolf. I don't care about anyone or anything besides myself and my need for revenge. But that's another story that I'll spare for a rainy day.

What was I saying? Oh, yeah, her. Kate. I don't know why, it must be this damn sun that never stops shining over this damn island, but I can't stop thinking about her. She's pretty hot... if you like the strong-willed brunette type... which I don't.

But ever since I noticed her, not long after the crash, I've been intrigued by her. Drawn to her. I've never met anyone like her. I think she's hiding something... Maybe we have more in common than I think, after all? Speaking of the devil, she's just appeared on the beach.

What does she want with me now? Well, folks, we're about to know.

Kate's POV

Of course, he's where I thought he'd be. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he'd still be reading a book under this tent he made for himself. The place he now calls home.

As I walk towards him, I wonder if someone's waiting for him back in the civilized world. Somehow, I don't think so. If someone really loved him, I don't think he would act the way he does. He wouldn't be doing everything he can to be despised, to be left alone.

Don't ask me why, but I don't buy the act he puts on. Even though I'm not sure I could ever like the guy, I think he's not all that bad. Something is haunting him, I can feel it. Maybe because I know all too well what that feels like... or maybe it's just because of that mysterious letter he keeps extracting from his pocket when he thinks nobody's around.

As I get nearer to him I can see him looking at me with an ironic smile many women would find charming. Oh yeah, he's attractive, but talking to him always makes me feel uneasy. Like he knows what I really am. But I told Jack I would speak to him, so I will.

"Hey there, Freckles," he welcomes me with his Southern accent that, again, many women would find absolutely irresistible. But not me. Quickly, I tell him why I'm here.

"Sawyer, we need more alcohol. Do you have any left?"

"'We' being you and the Doc, I assume?" he says, still smiling, but his eyes expressing something that strangely looks like frustration to me. "You and Doc Welby having a little party, princess?" he adds, sarcastically.

I sigh. Why does he have to be so annoying?

"Hurley hurt his foot. Jack needs the alcohol to make sure no infection develops. Is that an okay enough reason for you?"

He looks at me in silence for a moment, that darn smile still plastered on his face.

"Sure," he concedes, "we wouldn't want Fatty to die. Who would have the energy to dig a hole big enough to bury him?"

Struggling to remain polite, I say:

"So, can you give me any?"

He gives me such a horny look that, I'm not sure why, I can't help but find it funny. I try to hide my amusement but I know he's no fool. Trying to regain my composure, I repeat:

"So?"

Slowly, he finally turns to his left and goes through his bag. Two seconds later, he hands me a tiny bottle. I extend my arm to take it, but before he gives it to me he says:

"So, what's my reward?"

My only answer is a deep sigh, which he translates correctly and lets go of the precious bottle. Hoping I never have to ask any favour from him again, I bring myself to thank him.

"Anytime, Cupcake."

Kate's POV

We're almost out of water, so I decide to head to the caves and bring some back here.

As I grab the empty plastic bottles, I realise I'm going to need help if I want to bring enough for all of us. I may be strong, but trekking through the jungle with 20 bottles might be a bit much.

I cast a look around, trying to find someone to help me... And I see Sawyer, sitting down in the shade a few feet away, looking at me with that always mocking grin. He's doing nothing useful, but that's not much of a surprise. I'm so annoyed with his laziness that I decide to take him with me to the caves, even if I'm going to have to suffer through the whole journey.

I stand and say:

"Grab these bottles. We need to go and get water."

He stares at me with a fake surprise look.

"Pumpkin, did I hear right? You want us to spend some quality time together?"

"We're just getting water. Not getting married," I reply coldly.

As an answer, he just winks, smiling so widely I can see his dimples. He then gets up as I wonder who this guy really is. I sense he's not the sarcastic, smart-talking guy and neither is the despicable human being he's shown on occasions. There is more to him... and maybe our little trip to the caves will prove interesting after all.

Sawyer's POV

I'm sweaty.

I hate the humidity, I hate this jungle, I hate getting water... Oh, I just hate this Crap-Hole Island altogether.

Why did she have to ask me to help? The little Hobbit or Mr Egg Roll could have helped her, and she probably would have enjoyed their company much more than mine. I'm not sure why, but the thought of her not liking me makes me in an even fouler mood. But what can I expect from her, when I always act like a jackass around her?

And why exactly would I care whether she likes me or not?

I take a look at her walking in front of me. Okay, she's not only cute, but she's also brave and she's mysterious. In short, she's really different from all the girls I've ever met. Even if I don't really want to admit it to myself, I do care about the way she sees me and I hate it. I hate myself for still having this tiny hope someone could genuinely like me in spite of the horrible things I've done.

Kate suddenly stops and suggests we rest for a few minutes. I just grunt as an answer.

She looks at me curiously as she puts down her heavy backpack, but she doesn't say anything. I sit on a rock and she mimics me.

"Do you think we'll ever be saved?" she asks after being silent for a minute.

"What, you don't like it here, Sweet Cheeks?" I reply, pretending to be shocked. Of course she doesn't like it here, she's stuck carrying water with a criminal.

She replies with a question.

"Do you?"

"If there could be a way to have running water and some beer, I'd be all for it, Lady."

And the thing is, I mean it. If I could be independent from these other castaways, if I could be alone and comfortable, I'd like this island just fine. No need for money, no possibility to pursue that revenge that has driven my life for so many years…

Heaven.

Kate's POV

I see the dreamy look on his face and I know he means it. He'd gladly stay if things could be a bit less wild around here. And I understand him so well… because I'd do the same. Not only because I'll either end up in jail or on the run if I ever set foot in the civilized world again, but also because it's been years since I've felt part of a group. And it means more to me than I ever would have imagined.

"What about the people you care about, back in the US?" I ask.

He suddenly becomes sombre.

"There's no one I care about out there."

I'm not surprised, but I still repeat:

"No one?"

"Nope," he replies, no trace of sarcasm in his voice for once.

Before I can say anything he smiles again and asks:

"What about you, Hunny Bunny? Any boyfriend missing your nice little behind?" he wonders, staring at my rear end.

I raise my eyes to the sky and sigh. Is it really impossible to have any kind of normal conversation with this guy? But I decide to answer his question, hoping it would get me a little more insight as to who he really is.

"No boyfriend. Everyone I've ever cared about is dead."

He nods slowly and grins.

"Same here. So maybe we do have something in common after all, Sweetie Pie."

I sigh. Just what I feared.

Sawyer's POV

Sayid, Shannon, Boone, Charlie and Kate were going up the hills to try and use the radio.

As soon as I heard about their plan, I knew I had to go along with them. This jungle is far too dangerous for me to let Kate alone with that terrorist, that VH1 Has Been and those spoiled kids. What if that 'monster' came back? I can't just sit back and let that happen. I'm not sure why, but I'm getting attached to the little lady. Since our "romantic" trek to the caves a few days ago, I've been thinking a lot about her. Just like myself, she's alone in the world. That's probably why I feel like I can relate to her.

Besides, I've got nothing better to do.

None of them knows, but I've got a gun. Yep, a gun. It must have belonged to the federal marshal who was on the plane with us. 'Finders keepers, losers weepers', is my saying. So I'm going with them. Of course they can't believe I could actually do something to help, that I could really want to take a long hike in the jungle for a noble purpose. But I don't care.

They all look at me with suspicion written all over their faces. All but Kate. She just gazes briefly at me with a smile in her eyes and in return I move my eyebrows in a naughty way. She sighs, turns around and then off we go.

We've been walking forever and that butt-head Abdul refuses to try the radio every time I ask him to do so. I'm getting real annoyed at him. He keeps saying we're not high enough, but I know he just wants to be the one to decide when to do it.

Bastard.

We reach a grove of palm trees in tall grass. Wide open space. Sayid decides that we'll rest for a few minutes. Kate wanders a few feet away from us, scanning the area. I'm about to ask the Iraqi know-it-all to try the radio once again, just to bug him, when we hear a loud, animal breathing sound.

Something is there in the grove with us, close to where Kate is standing. We all stop and listen, and I feel my muscles tense up.

Whatever is there is hidden out of sight by the tall grass, but we can hear it moving.

"Oh, my god," Shannon finally says.

"Something's coming" Kate adds, stating the obvious.

In any other situation I would have found a snarky comment to make, but not now. Not when we suddenly hear the animal running toward us, picking up speed. Sounds big. And it's way too near Kate.

"Come on, let's move!" Sayid suddenly yells, and that seems to wake up the others who start to run. Kate begins to move away, too, but she loses her balance and almost trips. She quickly stands again, but she lost precious time.

I draw the gun and aim it in the beast's direction. Half a second later, I can see it appearing out of the tall grass and I immediately fire.

Four, five times until it finally falls down to Kate's feet.

I just have time to lower my arm before the others come back. Sayid looks at me and I know what he's going to say.

"Where did you get that gun?"

Couldn't he just say 'thank you'? Irritated, I reply:

"None of your business, Abdullah."

He doesn't look too happy with my answer and opens his mouth to say something when Kate steps between us two. She points at the creature on the ground.

"Guys… it's a… a POLAR bear."

Kate' POV

After the shock subsided, after trying to figure out a logical explanation for finding a polar bear in the jungle, we come back to reality.

We need to try this radio and come back before darkness falls.

I stand on my feet, but now that the adrenaline rush has subsided, my foot hurts. I must have twisted my ankle. I just want to pretend I'm okay and go on with the others, but Sawyer sees me.

"The lady's hurt. I'll take her back to camp," he says firmly, staring at Sayid. He's obviously not going to change his mind about this, which makes me wonder why he wants to be the one to take me back to the beach. What's his ulterior motive? Why did he come here in the first place?

Unsure whether or not I should go with him, I try:

"I'm okay, Sawyer."

"I hate to say this, Kate, but he's right," Sayid intervenes. "You'll only make it worse if you come with us. And we have to make it back before sunset."

Seems like I've got no choice.

"Okay."

I glance at Sawyer, wondering what I should do. Like he knows what I'm thinking, he takes two steps then stops by my side. I put my arm around Sawyer's shoulders and try to walk, but we quickly realise that it would take us way to long to get back to camp that way. So Sawyer just grabs me and swings me over his shoulder like he'd have done with a bag of potatoes.

"Hey!" I protest, but all he does is chuckle a little. I know the more I protest, the more he'll enjoy himself, so I decide not to give him the satisfaction.

We go that way for a while, during which I try not to stare at his butt, even though I know that he's probably eying mine shamelessly. Carrying me seems effortless to him, although I notice his shirt is becoming clammier as time goes by. Tucked in his belt, right there, is the gun he used to kill the polar bear. Putting aside the troubling fact that this animal was no ordinary bear, I focus on the gun. It must have belonged to the marshal I knew all too well.

I cringe. What if Sawyer knew about this? He likes to play bad boy, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't like to know he's carrying a murderer. But he'll probably never learn the truth about me. So far, I've only had to tell Jack I was the prisoner and that was hard enough.

I sigh and try to think about something else.

"I feel like princess Fiona," I suddenly say.

"Who?" Sawyer replies, not slowing down his pace.

"You've never seen the movie Shrek?"

"I know what it is, since it was advertised everywhere, but I've never seen it."

"Oh."

I briefly wonder what kind of life Sawyer used to lead outside this island. Probably not the type to take his girlfriend to see kid's movies. The thought makes me smile. Not the type to have a girlfriend, period.

Since I've got nothing else to do, I explain:

"Well Shrek is this ogre sent by some Lord to save Princess Fiona from the tower where she is being held by a dragon. After he saves her, she refuses to follow him, so he puts her on his shoulder… just like you did with me."

Unexpectedly, Sawyer gently puts me down, keeping his arm around my waist so I don't have to put my hurting foot down. A mocking grin appears on his face and he says:

"So you're comparing yourself to the princess, huh?"

His face is only a few inches from mine.

"You actually look like her with your long hair and your freckles."

He's way too close is looking way too intensely at me. I sort of feel like I'm under his spell and it makes me feel uneasy, so I retort:

"And would you compare yourself to Shrek? Scary from the outside, nice on the inside?"

My remark has the desired effect. He grunts and put me back where I was.

Sawyer's POV

We finally arrive at the caves where I know I'll find Jack. To spare her the inquisitive looks of the others, I take her off my shoulder and instead I carry her like a husband carries his bride over the threshold. The though makes me smile, but as soon as my eyes land on the Doc, I sober up. I can't help it, the guy has that effect on me.

"Kate! What happened! Where are the others?" Jack asks anxiously as he comes to meet us.

I don't feel like butting heads with Saint Jack right now, so, although I'm in no hurry to let go of her, I put Kate down and turn away. But she calls me back.

"Sawyer!"

I turn my head and gaze at her.

"Thanks," she simply says, and in her eyes I can see she really means it.

I grin. Take that, Jacko.

"You're welcome, princess."